Uh... Shaving? (NWS dialog)

"Sanjuro" wrote:
"Dr.Ghastly" wrote:

Pffft. I shoot chainsaws at my nuts!

Not impressed. I saw through chains with my nuts!

I protect mine with a cup made of a diamond/adamantite alloy at all times.

While I spend way too much time, energy, and money on my own head-to-toe hair removal, I do prefer at least a little hair on men because it gives them more of a masculine look. Given a choice I like men to look like men rather than boys. However, Sanjuro is right on the mark with this comment:

Chicks really appreciate the fact that if they''re in the mood to make you really happy, they don''t have to get face to face with Dr. J''s afro to do it.

There''s nothing worse than having to pull pubic hair out of your teeth.

O_o

"Sanjuro" wrote:

Don''t listen to these trogledytes (sic?) I''ve been shaving/Nairing downstairs for years, it''s not a big deal. Chicks really appreciate the fact that if they''re in the mood to make you really happy, they don''t have to get face to face with Dr. J''s afro to do it.

Look, if you go the shaving route, just make sure you do it in the shower and get a good lather. You''re going to get some nicks, no doubt, but they''re totally painless and cause little or no bleeding.

Nair is a more involved proposition. The other day at Rite Aid I saw ''Nair For Men'' and I thought, ""heh, got you guys beat by years."" Nair is definitely the way to go for effective hair removal but it requires some doing, so it''s not for amateurs.
The idea is to already have some short hair down there. If you''ve never done any of this before and you''ve got a mangrove jungle between your legs, then start with shaving and go with Nair next time.
When you do apply the Nair, take a watch, a washcloth and the newspaper in with you (just trust me, I''ve got this down to a science). Take note of the time and apply a thick layer of Nair to the body parts in question. Wash and dry your hands, and read the newspaper for 4 minutes. It doesn''t nec. have to be the newspaper, but you need to keep yourself occupied and motionless for 4 minutes, or you''re going to end up moving around, spreading Nair on your legs and you''re going to look really weird naked with bald spots on the inside of your thighs.
After 4 minutes, use the washcloth to wipe off the Nair. The hair should go with it, easy as that. There might be a few stragglers, but you can razor them off. I don''t recommend re-applying the Nair right away to get rid of those, you should wait a day if that''s how you choose to address that problem.

Caveat: Under NOcircumstances leave the Nair on for more than 4 minutes. You will not be happy.

Anyway, I hope you found this guide helpful, Swarvey (and any of the rest of you who are too chicken to ask). I''ve been doing this for years, and I''m still the epitome of heterosexual masculinity that I always ways. Girls really appreciate a relatively hairless nether region on a guy. Anything that encourages her to be adventurous down there is totally worth doing.

Good luck on your decision ;)

<Kirk Voice>

Must....purge....mental.....image!

I gotta thank you guys. I laughed so hard going through this thread I was crying.

The Good Doctor:

Pfft. Wuss.

I shoot guns and I shave my nuts with a chainsaw.

Sanj:

Pff. Whatever. I shoot chainsaws and shave my nuts with a gun.

Doc:

Pffft. I shoot chainsaws at my nuts!

Sanj:

Not impressed. I saw through chains with my nuts!

P*#sies.
A can of Charcoal lighter and a zippo is all I need to keep the old bush down .

On the plus side, less hair means larger visual impression (kinda like small hands)...

On the negative side, less hair means devices intended to remove body parts being next to a body part not meant to be removed.

There''s nothing worse than having to pull pubic hair out of your teeth.

While I''m pretty sure that applies to both genders, I''m also pretty sure that hacking one up like a hairball in middle of... oral devotions... really shoots the mood all to hell.

Why in God''s name do I read these threads? All this talking of public urination, pooping ettiquette, and managing the lawn is enough to make a guy wish he got porno spyware.

What are you planning to grow in your garden this year, Rat Boy?

"Farscry" wrote:
"Sanjuro" wrote:
"Dr.Ghastly" wrote:

Pffft. I shoot chainsaws at my nuts!

Not impressed. I saw through chains with my nuts!

I protect mine with a cup made of a diamond/adamantite alloy at all times.

From shaving to nut-chainsaws in three pages. I didn''t check page two, and now that we''re at this point, I don''t feel obligated to.

"Alien13z" wrote:

What are you planning to grow in your garden this year, Rat Boy?

I don''t know, but I''m hiring Dr. Ghastly to get rid of the weeds.

Don''t forget: Sanjuro is a Marine! Ya''ll best take notice. Are you tough enough to shave your nuts like our The Few and The Proud? Tell you more: if you''re not shaving your nuts, you''re not supporting our troops. In the tough times like now, this is plain unpatriotic.

Moreover, excessive facial or testicular hair may easily be taken as your manifestation of open sympathies towards the enemies of the freedom. Be frank with us: in the War On Terror, on which side your nuts are?

I believe I just about choked reading this thread. Disturbing, frightening, and still informative all in one unassuming thread. Thats what brings the crowd in to GWJ, isn''t it.

I wonder how long its gonna take before someone ends up at GWJ because they did a google search for nut sack shaving...

You mean thats not how you arrived here? My own secret shame, I suppose.

Wow. If you have not shaved your nuts, the terrorists have already won.

I don''t know, but I''m hiring Dr. Ghastly to get rid of the weeds.

Comedy gold!

I think I''m more worried that Chumpy, after reading Sanjuro''s post, is publicly admitting he won''t look him in the face anymore. Just where do you intend to look at him, Chumpy? Where!?

"Sway" wrote:

I think I''m more worried that Chumpy, after reading Sanjuro''s post, is publicly admitting he won''t look him in the face anymore. Just where do you intend to look at him, Chumpy? Where!?

I was thinking the same thing.

On another point, you all know that there is a REASON that both males and females have pubic hair right?

Think about this, hairless sensitive skin rigorously rubbing against more hairless sensitive skin with a little sweat thrown in to boot. Ever get an indian sun burn? Imagine the worst one you''ve ever had being applied to your pelvic region. Not good times. Bad times.

It''s natures own little friction pad.

I use one of those cheap electric hair razors to trim the hedges. It''s just a little ""thank you"" to your spouse (or gfriend or whatever).

I''m sometimes very concerned about how long some of the threads here stay at the top of the list.

I did answer some questions about Nair to my fiance though, she then wondered how I knew and she had a disturbed look when I said, ""One of the gaming sites I visit was just talking about body hair removal!""

I''m such a good husband to be.

"SwampYankee" wrote:

P*#sies.
A can of Charcoal lighter and a zippo is all I need to keep the old bush down .

lol This is a supremely quotable thread

Eezy_B- I''m glad I could forward your body hair removal education.

You remind me of a guy I work with. He does stuff like that. Gets his nipple ring stuck on his bullet-resistant vest and stops wearing it, stuff like that...

Gets his nipple ring stuck on his bullet-resistant vest and stops wearing it, stuff like that...

The ring, or the vest?

This site is just too awesome. I came for the game info and stay for the social commentary.

The vest, of course. The nipple ring may be bullet resistant also, I''m not really sure.

"SwampYankee" wrote:

A can of Charcoal lighter and a zippo is all I need to keep the old bush down .

Now that''s the answer I want to use every time I go into the P&C forum!

There is so much wrong with this thread, I don''t even know where to begin - but this has to be the most mind-boggling:

"Mr.Swarvey" wrote:

It takes me 15 minutes to shave my face alone. Granted, I have a rather large noggin, therefore a big face...

Huh? I don''t care how big your head is. I don''t care if you''rethis guy.Nobodytakes 15 minutes to shave their face...if that''s all they''re doing and if hey shave with any regularity.

Unless you are using one of those micro razors that is two centimeters across, I just can''t see how this could be possible - and even then I think I could finish in less than 15 minutes.

Some people have to shave slow or they risk some nasty cuts. I guess I''m lucky though since I have been shaving for about 13 years, and I''ve only cut myself about 3 times.

Shaving has got to be the most useless way to remove hair. My face always feels stubbly, even right after I shave. I''ve been tempted to try hair remover on my face, but I don''t think you are supposed to (fumes and whatnot).

Well, 15 min is not too unrealistic. I have to wash my face with hot water first in order to prep it. Then I shave using a shaving gel and a Gilette Mach3 razor, and I wash with hot and cold water over again to ""brace"" the skin. After it, you need to apply some after-shave lotion. Definitely takes more than 10 minutes. For someone with sensitive skin who has to be slow and careful when shaving, 15 is probably not too much.

Yeah, I can''t see pulling that off in less than ten minutes without some serious cuts or other types of skin removal. Plus, if you''re like me on an early Monday morning doing it practically just after you get up, you don''t trust your arm control.

Yet another thread to support my idea for a ""Thread of the Year/Month/Quarter"" idea.