Uh... Shaving? (NWS dialog)

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K. My girlfriend wants me to shave. Like, shave everything. And I'm not just talking about my private area, although that is included.
She wants me to shave my chest and stomach as well.
Not that I'm super-hairy man, but...
It takes me 15 minutes to shave my face alone. Granted, I have a rather large noggin, therefore a big face... Anyway, that's not my point.
I feel the act of a man shaving himself to be rather, uh, METROsexual to say the very least.
She insists that this is not the case and that she knows a lot of guys who shave their entire body.
A LOT of guys!?!
I know some guys who are bodybuilders who shave down for competitions and I'll even cop to taking a trimmer to my overall self to keep the hedges neat, if you will.
But regular guys? Even guys who work out on a regular basis, like I try to do, but who are never going to be in any kind of show-me-the-muscles competition? Shaving all the way down?
In the words of Tony Soprano, "This sounds very gay."

Your thoughts?

no.
don''t do it.
i say tell her to take you as you are or not at all.
I am a very hairy guy...
lots on the front and back.
My wife has hinted at shaving, but i just laugh and point at her repeated ley untill she breaks down into tears.
i then push her over so she falls on her but.
she never brought it up again.
i suggest you do this.

seriously though. there is no reason to shave, unless you are a bike racer, swimmer, body builder or a Metrosexual.

just say no.

That''s disturbing. Tell her she''s disturbed me.

I actually wish there was a way to stop body hair growth. Not having to shave my face would be worth being bald in... er... other areas. But since that fantasy is probably about 50-100 years in the future, I will just have to suffer through it now. (I have very sensitive skin, and no matter how I shave I always seem to get razorburn).

She wants to turn you into a tranni, dude.

I''m serious. I read about this stuff on the internet.

I say tell her to go jump off a bridge and that you were planning on growing it all long enough to form one giant braid.

Never done it but I hear the itching alone is enough to drive you mad.

I never read anything on the internet.

If I could take a pill and be guaranteed that every last hair on my body (even my head and eyebrows and stuff) would fall out and would never grow back, I would take that pill. However, chest stubble has gotta suck like nothing has ever sucked before.

Ask her if all the red pimples from in-grown hairs is a real turn-on for her.

I actually think it''s a setup. You''ll come out of the bathroom naked and fully shaved and you know what she''ll do? Throw a bucket of salt on you!! That hussy!

"Mr.Swarvey" wrote:

I never read anything on the internet.

Well, I was joking..... but there are allot of freakishly wierd reasons she might want it done, and my sick mind can only come up with the fetish kind of stuff.

I say you should see what she offers to do for you in return.

And then report directly back to here.

Well i was joking when I said I never read anything on the internet. As I was responding to something I read on the internet...
Maybe I thought it was funnier than it was.

Oh. And she said she would shave herself completly as well.

"SwampYankee" wrote:
"Mr.Swarvey" wrote:

I never read anything on the internet.

Well, I was joking..... but there are allot of freakishly wierd reasons she might want it done, and my sick mind can only come up with the fetish kind of stuff.

I say you should see what she offers to do for you in return.

And then report directly back to here.

I concur with my esteemed colleague from Soggy Bottom.

"Mr.Swarvey" wrote:

Oh. And she said she would shave herself completly as well.

Not good enough. That''s like her saying she''ll kiss a girl if you kiss a guy. It''s not worth it.

I say body part (or area) for body part. You choose one, she chooses one. Start safe, don''t do it all at once!

Don''t do it man! Well, ''cept for the hedge trimming because it''s gonna be summer soon and ya gotta keep cool. But otherwise, be proud of your monkey heritage!

Dump her.

Let''s set the record straight. I ain''t shaving a damned thing.

"Mr.Swarvey" wrote:

Oh. And she said she would shave herself completly as well.

i dont think the fairness is at all equal here.
i doubt she has much to shave on her chest or back...does she?

IMAGE(http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn:fHOA7_Zt1GYJ:www.science-frontiers.com/sf108/p108-06.jpg)

Well no. She doesn''t. But we all know the much sought after V is a more valuable body part than anything we lowly men have to offer.
All of me, including my toes=V*****a.

I''d pass.

It''s important to feel comfortable in your own skin.

(pixelated junk = mostly SFW)

Don''t listen to these trogledytes (sic?) I''ve been shaving/Nairing downstairs for years, it''s not a big deal. Chicks really appreciate the fact that if they''re in the mood to make you really happy, they don''t have to get face to face with Dr. J''s afro to do it.

Look, if you go the shaving route, just make sure you do it in the shower and get a good lather. You''re going to get some nicks, no doubt, but they''re totally painless and cause little or no bleeding.

Nair is a more involved proposition. The other day at Rite Aid I saw ''Nair For Men'' and I thought, ""heh, got you guys beat by years."" Nair is definitely the way to go for effective hair removal but it requires some doing, so it''s not for amateurs.
The idea is to already have some short hair down there. If you''ve never done any of this before and you''ve got a mangrove jungle between your legs, then start with shaving and go with Nair next time.
When you do apply the Nair, take a watch, a washcloth and the newspaper in with you (just trust me, I''ve got this down to a science). Take note of the time and apply a thick layer of Nair to the body parts in question. Wash and dry your hands, and read the newspaper for 4 minutes. It doesn''t nec. have to be the newspaper, but you need to keep yourself occupied and motionless for 4 minutes, or you''re going to end up moving around, spreading Nair on your legs and you''re going to look really weird naked with bald spots on the inside of your thighs.
After 4 minutes, use the washcloth to wipe off the Nair. The hair should go with it, easy as that. There might be a few stragglers, but you can razor them off. I don''t recommend re-applying the Nair right away to get rid of those, you should wait a day if that''s how you choose to address that problem.

Caveat: Under NOcircumstances leave the Nair on for more than 4 minutes. You will not be happy.

Anyway, I hope you found this guide helpful, Swarvey (and any of the rest of you who are too chicken to ask). I''ve been doing this for years, and I''m still the epitome of heterosexual masculinity that I always ways. Girls really appreciate a relatively hairless nether region on a guy. Anything that encourages her to be adventurous down there is totally worth doing.

Good luck on your decision

Make her shave her head first, then go for it.

"atom" wrote:

If I could take a pill and be guaranteed that every last hair on my body (even my head and eyebrows and stuff) would fall out and would never grow back, I would take that pill. However, chest stubble has gotta suck like nothing has ever sucked before.

Ten years ago this month my hair, which was extremely thick, started falling out in quarter-sized patches in random locations on my head. It kept falling out until it looked like I had mange and I was doing the most perverse combover with the remaining hair you''ve ever seen. Then it kept falling out, working its way down my body in a ring. I finally shaved my head in August and had no hair at all by Christmas. Haven''t seen one since, and there are no other side effects although it is linked to Type I diabetes which I got at the same time. Only rarely do I miss the hair. Doctors say they aren''t coming back. The savings on haircuts and shampoo are significant and I never ever smell bad. I am told there are women that dig hairless guys but I haven''t found them, but then again I''ve never met a woman that was really disturbed by it either. The only real downsides are that I get a lot of salt in my eyes when exercising because I have no eyebrows to collect the sweat, I get colder in rooms than other people because my hair is not insulating me, and I breathe in more crap because there is no nostril hair to filter it. The condition is called allopecia universalis or allopecia totalis if you want to read more about it.

And I''m not just talking about my private area, although that is included.

Ok i consider myself a pretty manly man... high pain tolerance, not squeemish about blood, guts, puke, feces.... ( I have kids, seen them all thank you ), but nothing, nothing, nothing will ever prepare you to the horror of public hair re-growing. I had to shave as part of the operation that prevents me from creating any more babies.

The itching is like nothing you have ever experienced in your life. It is constant, while you sleep, while you drive, during business meetings, when you are fully dressed in hockey equipment in the middle of a game, in a public place, with 50 pounds of wet sweaty equipment and a plastic cup designed to prevent access to the area preventing you from getting anywhere near the area to provide at least some momentary relief.

As far as cultural norms regarding hairless pubes go, I think it is very much a West Coast thing and to a lesser extent a major urban area East Coast thing. Definitely not as popular in Minnesota.

Don''t listen to these trogledytes (sic?) I''ve been shaving/Nairing downstairs for years, it''s not a big deal. Chicks really appreciate the fact that if they''re in the mood to make you really happy, they don''t have to get face to face with Dr. J''s afro to do it.

you lie, the evil itchies will attack you, and drive you to senseless ramblings on forumns on the internet.

In all truth, I suppose if you kept the area freshly shorn the re-growth itching would not affect you

It''s important to feel comfortable in your own skin.

Haha. Excellent commercial that.

[size=9]EDIT: For Great Relevant Quotiness![/size]

"Garrad" wrote:

The itching is like nothing you have ever experienced in your life.

And that my friends, is why God invented Nair.

Hey Sanjuro,

do you live in a tropic climate? down in the south....

Cuz up here in Canada, we keep all our hair. Helps prevent frostbite during the Canadian winters, and let me tell you, frostbite on the jumblies is even worse than the itchies

Of course I like to do a little trim during our 1 week of summer....

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