Swaydora's Box - My Terrifying Find in the Attic

But at least we''ll have it on video and watch it on ""America''s Most Malevolent Videos"" next Thursday night.

Oh, and I''m sure the puppy deserved it.

I offer a humble benediction from the Lord of the Chance.

IMAGE(http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/34205b59/bc/Yahoo!+Photo+Album/__sr_/d8c2.jpg?ph5jtdABtAsdg8Dd)

Oh no! The Apocolypse has started. Look at all of our pics. It''s a sign we will all be dead and damned.

It must mean he opened the box.

Bastard.

Brains... must eat brains...

Oh, thats just great!! Now I gotta fight the Demon hordes if I wanna make it to Easter dinner.

"VicD714" wrote:

Oh, thats just great!! Now I gotta fight the Demon hordes if I wanna make it to Easter dinner.

This is different how?

We shouldn''t have urged him to open the box.

Maybe we can ask him to close it?

Well, Sway and swaydora are currently browsing the forums so at least they or the malignant forms that sequestrated them recall how to make the web thingie function. We should view this as a positive sign.

Unless of course it''s the new & improved zombie version of Sway & Swaydora. You know the new head honchos of the Demon hordes.

I have returned from the attic. I cannot truthfully say I am unharmed. I brought witnesses this time as I feared for my very soul. Not only would they be able to bear witness to whatever I might release, but they would be able to prevent me from fleeing before I had finished my task.

I ponder chickening out.

One brought a video camera. One brought a digital camera. One brought a lamp.

My witnesses.

Despite the outside temperature only being in the sixties, the attic was insufferably hot and stuffy. With all four of us huddled on the safest planks we could find, we pulled the box out into the open, away from the pitched ceiling and cobwebs. It was only in this new position that I first noticed the keyhole beneath the knob. There was actually a possibility we would still be unable to open the box after all this hype. I would have gotten a crowbar if it had been locked.

After a few solemn rituals and hushed prayers, I slipped my fingers under the lip of the lid and lifted. We held our collective breaths and looked inside. Recoiling in horror we barely kept our footing as whatever spirits lay within were woken from their slumber and sent forth into the attic, into my house, and into the world.

Avert your gaze lest you be blinded!

What remained was perhaps the biggest mystery of all. No, this box was not empty. No, indeed. We all simply stared at the contents, silently piecing together the chain of events that might have caused this box, with this cargo, to lie untouched for uncounted years in an attic with no opening large enough for it to fit through.

But why would this, of all things, be in this box?

In time, the witnesses each retreated, back across the attic and down the ladder into the fresh cool breeze in the room below. I carefully retrieved the contents and closed the box. As I climbed down the ladder and before I replaced the panel that covers the hatch to the attic, I wished the box peace and vowed to keep sacred its hallowed resting place.

The witnesses have gone downstairs to drink beer and play Mario Kart. I must now join them. We hope to bring you video of the actual opening soon. If evil was, in fact, released, it has not manifested itself. Yet.

Waitaminute, so that little lamp was in the box? And it was lit?! EVIL! You anger me with your obliqueness and your sly, unrevealing camera angles.

Hmmmm, they lived......or did they?

I dont think so, they had the lamp before the opening.

He totally sold us out. WHAT""S IN THE BOX?

With all this teasing, Sway''s got a great future as a courtesan.

What can we conclude thus far:
1. It was not a whole sh*tload of money.
2. It was not a corpse or anything else really freaky.

The basis for these conclusions is that no one would go drinking and play Mario Kart if they were not true. If you can follow that.

OOOH OOOH! Maybe it was Mario Kart and beer?

"Alien13z" wrote:

With all this teasing, Sway''s got a great future as a courtesan.

What can we conclude thus far:
1. It was not a whole sh*tload of money.
2. It was not a corpse or anything else really freaky.

The basis for these conclusions is that no one would go drinking and play Mario Kart if they were not true. If you can follow that.

I''d agree if they were playing Mario Kart 64, but with the original...

It COULD have been vast quantities of cursed pirate gold, and Sway''s just playing it cool because he doesn''t want to share.

It also could be he released the spirit of pestilence and death onto the world. I know I don''t quite feel like myself all of a sudden . . .

Sway is the biggest cocktease since Elizabeth Hurley

Sturdy looking roof. I''m all about a beefy joist.

"Dr_Awkward" wrote:

Sturdy looking roof. I''m all about a beefy joist.

I think Sway is already taken.

You fools!!

Sway''s dead!!! The zombies got him!!!

Open your eyes to the truth!!!!
IMAGE(http://www.telusplanet.net/public/spleen/TheTruth.jpg)

Surely the last days are upon us!!

Sturdy looking roof. I''m all about a beefy joist.
"Spleen" wrote:

You fools!!

Sway''s dead!!! The zombies got him!!!

That''s even sicker!!

Outstanding, Spleen!

And on the other side of the world, a man awoke to a sneezing fit.......

............It had begun..........

I''m getting a headache. Kind of hard to do that when the brain is gone...

"Rat Boy" wrote:

I''m getting a headache. Kind of hard to do that when the brain is gone...

Not really. If your brain had been replaced with a squirming mass of evil struggling to burst free from it''s boney confines, it''d probably feel like a throbbing headache . . .

Help i''m surounded by CHUD''s. Ah well when you can''t beat um join um... Braaaiiinnsss!