Viewpoints on the XBox 360

"Sticking it to the gaming industry, one Fact™ at a time."

Gaming "journalism" is anything but. What little integrity exists is swept away by the mountain of advertising dollars and press swag. When the gaming industry doesn't want you to know about something, it doesn't get reported. In short, gaming journalism bites. I can't sit back and let you, the gaming public, be misled and deluded by this farce any longer. It's time for a change. It's time for the The Gaming Report.

I've taken some of the best journalists the Internet has to offer and given them some hard-hitting assignments to take on the gaming industry, with the Facts™. The facts the other news sites will call "misconstrusion" or "wild speculation". You know what we call them? Facts™.

IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/facts.thumbnail.jpg)

Here's our first report from our very own monkeyman187 on some new features for the XBox 360.


The Marketplace Menace

From Gamespot, the real agenda behind the XBox Live Marketplace was revealed:

But while online retailers have been selling cards of 1,600 XBox Live Marketplace points for $19.99 for weeks, it was unclear exactly what 360 owners could get for their money. Today, Microsoft finalized the ...

You may not believe it, but you just read it. Microsoft wants us to pay for XBox Live Marketplace "points" without telling us what they'll buy! What is this, Russia?

To download any of the Xbox Live Arcade games or Xbox Live Marketplace content, players must have an Xbox 360 equipped with a hard drive. ... everything available on Xbox Live Marketplace will cost money.

Not only does Microsoft have the nerve to charge us for things we don't know about, they're going to charge us for all the things we don't know about. For shame M$, you should know better. Fortunately Nintendo is going to show them how it's done with the Revolution. Next time you think "Hmm, maybe Microsoft isn't so bad," remember these atrocities.

- monkeyman187

Exciting stuff monkeyman187, I'm sure Microsoft is still stinging from that one. Next up is our resident man of the people Potani with the word from the street.


Microsoft Steps up Production to Handle Launch Day Demand

Microsoft is increasing the quantity of XBox 360's being shipped on launch day to meet the growing demand for the system. There were widespread rumors and speculation about shortages based on sketchy data such as official invoices and receipts. I was even having trouble finding a store that said they would have X360's on launch day, checking almost two whole gaming stores before admitting defeat. Now however, the tide seems to have turned. Just yesterday I interviewed an EB Games employee about the possibility of getting a system on launch day. Here's the conversation

Potani: Hey if I preorder can I get an XBox 360 on launch day?
EB Games Employee: Sure

It doesn't get more official than that. Microsoft has obviously fixed the temporary supply problem for which the online press has hounded them these last few weeks. Now that I'll have a machine on launch day, you can be sure to get the first official confirmation of how great the XBox 360 is right here with Potani.

- Potani

Thanks for the update Potani, that's definitely a major plus for the XBox 360 launch. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind our dear readers about how The Gaming Report strives for fair and balanced journalism. The previous two articles are a great example, first an anti-XBox 360 story followed by a pro-XBox 360 story. They're even close to the same length! That's balance folks.

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Next we've got some breaking news from our very own corporate watchdog, Linda Fontaine.


Peter Jackson's King Kong Roars its Way Onto XBox 360

Peter Jackson's King Kong is scheduled to be released for the XBox 360 on November 21st, just in time for the Christmas shopping season. Peter Jackson's King Kong is a compelling and mesmerizing game, following an amazing journey through beautifully rendered landscapes while delivering pulse-pounding action and world-class gameplay. It retails for $49.95 and can be found at any fine video game retailer.

- Linda Fontaine

Thanks for the update Linda, now for an update on the XBox 360 our very own common man with a microphone, Potani.


Microsoft Creates an Artifical Shortage of XBox 360 Units at Launch

A breaking update to our previous story, I just got off the phone after an enlightening interview with the EB Games Manager for my local store. Here's what he had to say about the XBox 360 launch.

Potani: Hello?
EB Games Manager: Yes we're calling you about ...
Potani: Is this Candi from the Sexatorium? I think we got disconnected after the goat thing.
EB Games Manager: No, this is the manager at EB Games. This is about your XBox 360 order. We're just letting you know that due to the number of units being shipped to our store on launch day, we're going to have to fill your preorder on the second shipment, which should be sometime in December. Is that okay Mr. Potani?
Potani: I guess so.
EB Games Manager: Good because there are no refunds.
Potani: As long as you're on the line I'd like to ask you a few questions.
EB Games Manager: Sure.
Potani: Can I call you Candi?
EB Games Manager: Uhh ...
Potani: What are you wearing, Candi?
EB Games Manager: Thank you for shopping with EB Games. *click*
Potani: Oh you're such a naughty girl.

As you can see, this store is definitely singing a different tune with regards to XBox 360 launch numbers. Since a reliable, official source previously assured us of the availability of Xbox 360 units on launch day, we can only assume that Microsoft has now cut shipments to create the impression of a shortage. Once again, Microsoft has played the PR game at the expense of the average gamer. I know this only cements my already firm decision not to buy an XBox 360 on launch day.

- Potani

Thanks Potani, I'm sure Microsoft's stockholders are already jumping ship and buying Sony based on this latest development. Now here's another urgent update from our very own friend of the consumer, Linda Fontaine.


Project Gotham Racing 3 Speeds its Way Onto XBox 360

Project Gotham Racing 3 was released for the XBox 360 on November 14th, just in time for the Christmas shopping season. Project Gotham Racing 3 is a compelling and mesmerizing game, following an amazing journey through beautifully rendered landscapes while delivering pulse-pounding action and world-class gameplay. It retails for $49.95 and can be found at any fine video game retailer.

- Linda Fontaine

Thanks Linda, we all rest a little easier here at GWJ knowing your ever-watchful eye is keeping track of the big business of the gaming industry. Now we have an update from monkeyman187 on the XBox Live Marketplace.


Microsoft Does a 180 on the 360 Marketplace

It seems my previous article created some serious ripples over at the Microsoft HQ. Here's an update from Gamespot on the XBox Live Marketplace:

But while online retailers have been selling cards of 1,600 Xbox Live Marketplace points for $19.99 for weeks, it was unclear exactly what 360 owners could get for their money. Today, Microsoft finalized the pricing structure for the content available on the Marketplace, which can be accessed by subscribers to both the free Xbox Live Silver and the paid Xbox Live Gold services.

Victory? I think so. Microsoft has reversed their position, now officially listing the items you can buy on the XBox Live Marketplace. While it's a step in the right direction, Microsoft still has a way to go before they're going to get any of my hard earned gaming dollars to buy some of Uncle Bill's Fun Bucks. Here's another tidbit of info that slipped out of Redmond that just shows what real online gaming journalism can do.

To download any of the Xbox Live Arcade games or Xbox Live Marketplace content, players must have an Xbox 360 equipped with a hard drive. Not everything available on Xbox Live Marketplace will cost money. Microsoft will offer trailers for all launch games for free, along with four demos.

Again a score for the consumer. Now Microsoft knows it's money grubbing tactics won't fly here in the gaming community. Not only free trailers but free demos as well, excellent start. Now if Microsoft continues this trend of giving me free stuff, I might be obliged to buy something from them. Maybe.

- monkeyman187

Thanks monkeyman187, it warms the heart to see The Gaming Report has already had an effect on the gaming industry. Now that's the power of Facts™!

IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/facts.thumbnail.jpg)

Finally we have another check-in with our ever-vigilant guard of the free marketplace, Linda Fontaine.


Kameo Pretties its Way Onto XBox 360

Kameo was released for the XBox 360 on November 7th, just in time for the Christmas shopping season. Kameo is a compelling and mesmerizing game, following an amazing journey through beautifully rendered landscapes while delivering pulse-pounding action and world-class gameplay. It retails for $49.95 and can be found at any fine video game retailer.

- Linda Fontaine


That wraps up our first edition of The Gaming Report. Stay tuned as we probe deeper into the filthy underbelly of the gaming industry to pull out some half digested nuggets we like to call Facts™.

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Comments

Breakfast nearly on the monitor yet again, thanks for the morning laugh.

I'm confused... who are these people? I do not comprehend!

Hah! Very good Pyro.

Hands off Candi though, she's mine!

At first I thougt this was a joke, until I saw those graphics with Old Glory in the background. Snazzy flag graphics = Truth. God bless Pyro and the XBox 360!

The only thing missing in monkeyman's 'news broadcasts' were the M$ sign

Funny stuff, Pyro! You prove that you are a comedy ninja as well.

KaterinLHC wrote:

The only thing missing in monkeyman's 'news broadcasts' were the M$ sign

Funny stuff, Pyro! You prove that you are a comedy ninja as well.

Monkeyman is too subtle for you Katerin, he used M$ to reveal the money-grubbing nature of Microsoft and you didn't even notice. That's what I call subtlety.

KaterinLHC wrote:

The only thing missing in monkeyman's 'news broadcasts' were the M$ sign :)

They were, then Pyro edited them out. He has this insatiable need to edit things.

Rat Boy wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

The only thing missing in monkeyman's 'news broadcasts' were the M$ sign :)

They were, then Pyro edited them out. He has this insatiable need to edit things.

What?

Not only does Microsoft have the nerve to charge us for things we don't know about, they're going to charge us for all the things we don't know about. For shame M$
Pyroman wrote:

Monkeyman is too subtle for you Katerin, he used M$ to reveal the money-grubbing nature of Microsoft and you didn't even notice. That's what I call subtlety.

Holy crap. He did. Perhaps he is a subtlety ninja. Or maybe I was blinded by Ms. Fontaine's excellent press rel- I mean previews. Or both.

Still, he only used it once. There's no authority in that. What kind of anti-Microsoft blogger is he? He needs to get on the ball and start dropping "M$"s like they were manna from heaven.

KaterinLHC wrote:

Holy crap. He did. Perhaps he is a subtlety ninja. Or maybe I was blinded by Ms. Fontaine's excellent press rel- I mean previews. Or both.

Or he...*drumroll*...edited it in!

My wife was released from her duties in the kitchen on the night of November 14th, just in time for me to grope her all night long. She is a compelling and mesmerizing woman and bedding her offers an amazing journey through semi-curvaceous landscapes while delivering pulse-pounding eroticism and world-class foreplay. She does not come cheap and cannot be found near any video game retailer.

Wow, maybe I can get a job copying/pasting press releases too. LOL! Anyway, great article Pyro, that was some funny stuff. Unfortunately, depressingly close to the truth, but still funny.

It retails for $49.95 and can be found at any fine video game retailer

Umm where? All the high profile titles I have seen have been $59.99. Wonder if she prescribes to the Ryder discount policy.

Nimcosi wrote:
It retails for $49.95 and can be found at any fine video game retailer

Umm where? All the high profile titles I have seen have been $59.99. Wonder if she prescribes to the Ryder discount policy.

Obviously your video game retailers are misinformed and not familiar with the

IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/facts.thumbnail.jpg)

I'm a little late to this dance, but wanted to say excellent article Pyro! Good job keeping those reporters on their toes and on the task at hand, namely, bringing us The Facts(tm).

No no, SillRabbit, it's pronounced "The IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/facts.thumbnail.jpg)."

Oh yes RB, yes it is. How could I be so wrong? Clearly I didn't have all The IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/facts.thumbnail.jpg)

I'm late too, but great article Pyro'.

I'm fashionably late, but I did laugh.