in my pants, flying spaghetti monster, eve teasing
give me a location, an object, and a verb, and I'm going to try to write a story with that.
deep in a cavern, horseshoe, remember
Machu Picchu, supertanker, stroking
Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo.
STORY FOR PEOPLE NOW!
Once upon a time there was a dude and he was all, "Hey, I don't know what to write so bleepty blorpty blap." And some guy was all, "Frying cheese on a grill in Hell. Library, rifle, hairsplitting. in my pants, flying spaghetti monster, eve teasing deep in a cavern, horseshoe, remember Machu Picchu, supertanker, stroking On the couch, an Xbox 360 containing a digital copy of Limbo, playing Limbo Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo." Then the dude was like, "F*ck this, this is never going to work."
The end.
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WORK!!!
I wrote something that isn't very good but it lives at Bitmob, so here is a link to the thing that lives at Bitmob. It's called Single White Male Seeks Donkey Lady for a Good Time.
Weiners!
On Max Applesauce-ish stuff: Yeah. There was actually a lot more to begin with because I wasn't confident enough in this thing to go without it. I cut a lot of it out because it wasn't working, but I was still insecure enough to let some of it stay. It's sort of my style, I guess, but it feels more like the same joke over and over again and it's wearing a bit thin. It seems to work really well when I'm feeling confident and not at all when I'm not.
On last paragraph with Carson Daly: I'm actually incredibly happy to hear (read, whatever) that you like the way it's set up. I thought it may have been a bad idea to go off on these two stories, only to finally mention the point of them at the end, but I really didn't know how to wedge my point into the middle of the stories. I realized that I didn't care because I wasn't writing an essay for high school any more so I didn't have to write like my audience was a bunch of dirty subnormals. I went to high school in Florida, where my audience was actually a bunch of dirty subnormals. Still, I was worried that it makes it weaker, so I'm happy to find out it doesn't.
On self-defecation: Totally. But it's the easiest way to get out of a joke when you can't think of a punchline and I'm lazy!
Anyway, thanks for the feedback. Looking back at what I wrote one drug-and-self-loathing-fueled night (mostly as a way to just kick-start the creative juice machine) I'm actually surprised to find that I don't hate every word, which is probably due to brain {ableist slur}ation but I'm going to go ahead and attribute it to the fact that someone wasted their time reading it and came away not wishing for my death. Makes me want to write more stuff, but I probably should focus this creative energy on some other slightly more important matters. There are more ways to get rid of bodies than you'd think!
I completely missed those stories. Oh well, just read them, and Patterns was my favorite of the three as well. I especially love the line
I grabbed the items that I knew would sustain me and carried them to the checkout, throwing them onto the belt and not looking at them lest I see truth or offense in the pattern they had made.
As if the groceries are mocking him with insights he doesn't want to hear or opinions he strongly disagrees with. Groceries are assholes like that.
Your writing on marijuana sounds like my everyday.
Mushrooms - I typed a poignant letter to my keyboard, urging it to stop pretending that it was made out of water. Then I went to the park.
Oh man, I laughed so hard.
Hey... erm... so... Christ what's the least assy way to do this...
...so if you look at my sig, there's a link there to a place where I MIGHT be doing some weekly 1000-word (or so) writing about sports, games, and occasionally other subjects. I am not asking for hits, but actual occasional help with getting back into something that I had ceased doing for far too long.
Did that sound kosher?
Sounded good to me, Predophile.
So, the article is now on the front page of the Bitmobbery, and hey, look, I found this conveniently located link. Normally I wouldn't bother pointing it out, but I'm looking at it just to see what they felt needed to be changed and, ugh. Sure, there are some parts that are nice and tidy, which is great, but most of it... It just doesn't even sound like me any more. Maybe that's a good thing, but I don't know. I just don't think it's as funny, which is an amazing feat considering the source.
I've only ever tried writing under alcohol and marijuaners. My writing on alcohol is surprisingly coherent (although not good at all) until I pass that "sh*tfaced" line, where it's unsurprisingly incoherent. One of my favorite pieces of writing was done well past (passed?) the "sh*tfaced" line, though. A dude messaged me with a simple, "Hey." In response, I typed, "jr43$", didn't bother to send it, and went immediately to bed.
Marijuana doesn't really affect my writing, although my ideas usually do become immensely more stupid. You know those Max Applesauce stories? All of them were written while sober. So, yeah...
You know what helps me write the best? Rage. Not the virus from 28 Days/Weeks Later, although that might work, too.
Sounded good to me, Predophile.
I swear to god, if this catches on, i'm going to kill you.
Teehee, Predophile.
Bastardfish!
They neutered everything!
Thing is, the last thing I wrote on Bitmob also made it to the front page with very little editing. One joke, which I wasn't in love with, was changed because they must have thought it was a mistake instead of intentional, and there was the usual cleaning up and such. Other than that, it was exactly the same. What the hell happened here? Makes me wish I had saved a copy of the original somewhere else. Oh well, I'll live.
MechaSlinky wrote:Sounded good to me, Predophile.
I swear to god, if this catches on, i'm going to kill you.
It's not like I put it in my sig so that everyone can see it in every thread I post in.
It's not like I put it in my sig so that everyone can see it in every thread I post in.
Anyone interested in a short writing challenge? Just some sort of impetus and deadline to get something down and out, less than 500 words. Might be nice motivation to write something without grand aspirations.
I'm up for that. What'd you have in mind?
sounds good to me. Even if I don't participate (I will) it'll be interesting to read everyone's stories on a similar topic.
...or write a story that is also an acrostic, or write a story entirely without pronouns, or a story where the narrative perspective shifts every paragraph, or try to emulate the style of a distinctive author like H.P. Lovecraft.
My eyes just glazed over and rolled back in my head while my mouth fell agape and my tongue dried out.
In other words, You broke my brain, sir. Broke it.
Challenge: Writing with taboos
Write a story about Superman that: a.) is not set in the DC universe*, and b.) does not directly reference the character. Your entry should be posted as a Google doc in this thread by 5:00 PM EST Friday, August 13th and should be between 500 and 750 words in length.
*If this were a published piece, would legal need to check with DC Comics? This means that the story cannot explicitly star Superman, Batman, Lois Lane, or any other DC Comics character.
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