The (Boogle Memorial) Dating Advice/Tips Thread

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IMAGE(http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2009/01/Not%20That%20Into%20You.jpg)

While Boogle has understandably grown tired of having unsolicited dating advice offered to him, a demand exists for dating advice and tips.

So, let's try this. Post here to share dating tips, or ask or answer dating questions.

10 *Legion* Fun Bucks goes to the first person to kick off a really good discussion.

IMAGE(http://tech.mit.edu/V116/N55/book.55.gif)

Subscribed for amusement

*I've been out of dating for a long time, as I am married. But this is a great thread for many people, Legion.*
Ok, let's start at the beginning of dating. Once you have secured a phone number, how much time is appropriate to wait, before making a call?
I know there was some kind of unwritten rule, once upon a time, where you were supposed to wait 3 days, or something like that. I think the times have changed, and it is very situation dependant now. Almost everyone is texting, is that the societal norm for contact in young relationships now? If so, do you start texting right away, or is there a right amount of time before it is comfortable to do so?

Tanglebones wrote:

IMAGE(http://tech.mit.edu/V116/N55/book.55.gif)

Subscribed for amusement :P

This. Also, how long is that book? One sentence?

For me, here is what I learned while I was dating that made all of the difference.

If you are happy with yourself, and with your situation, you are *much* more likely to be attractive to members of the opposite sex.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

This. Also, how long is that book? One sentence?

Sadly, I think there were a few sequels published as well. My wife picked it up before our first date, and threw it out somewhere around our third. It's this terribly materialistic, pokemon-esque, "Gotta get the ring" run through life.

Change the title before you give someone a real heart attack.

Rat Boy wrote:

Change the title before you give someone a real heart attack.

Yeah. For a second, I looked at a thread indicating that Boogle had died (or gotten some).

Tanglebones wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

This. Also, how long is that book? One sentence?

Sadly, I think there were a few sequels published as well. My wife picked it up before our first date, and threw it out somewhere around our third. It's this terribly materialistic, pokemon-esque, "Gotta get the ring" run through life.

So the second book just said "Double the number of BJs until you get the ring.", leading to the inevitable rise of He's Just Not That Into You when they reach an integer overflow?

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
Tanglebones wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

This. Also, how long is that book? One sentence?

Sadly, I think there were a few sequels published as well. My wife picked it up before our first date, and threw it out somewhere around our third. It's this terribly materialistic, pokemon-esque, "Gotta get the ring" run through life.

So the second book just said "Double the number of BJs until you get the ring.", leading to the inevitable rise of He's Just Not That Into You when they reach an integer overflow?

Quite the opposite - here's two of the chapters:

14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules

mudbunny wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Change the title before you give someone a real heart attack.

Yeah. For a second, I looked at a thread indicating that Boogle had died (or gotten some).

Either circumstance would freak the hell out of me.

Tanglebones wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
Tanglebones wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

This. Also, how long is that book? One sentence?

Sadly, I think there were a few sequels published as well. My wife picked it up before our first date, and threw it out somewhere around our third. It's this terribly materialistic, pokemon-esque, "Gotta get the ring" run through life.

So the second book just said "Double the number of BJs until you get the ring.", leading to the inevitable rise of He's Just Not That Into You when they reach an integer overflow?

Quite the opposite - here's two of the chapters:

14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules

36: If the Rules Don't Work, Put Out.

Marry a girl who doesn't need spoiler warnings because she reads the last chapter first.

If you're looking for college girls, just dangle this out the car window.

IMAGE(http://decibelmagazine.com/admin/assets/uploads/pabst-blue-ribbon.jpg)

This is the book that was very helpful to my wife and I. We read it together while on a vacation in Martha's Vineyard one summer. I may prove helpful to dating couples too.

IMAGE(http://i956.photobucket.com/albums/ae50/marsman61/GWJ/pc_mars.jpg)

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
Tanglebones wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
Tanglebones wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

This. Also, how long is that book? One sentence?

Sadly, I think there were a few sequels published as well. My wife picked it up before our first date, and threw it out somewhere around our third. It's this terribly materialistic, pokemon-esque, "Gotta get the ring" run through life.

So the second book just said "Double the number of BJs until you get the ring.", leading to the inevitable rise of He's Just Not That Into You when they reach an integer overflow?

Quite the opposite - here's two of the chapters:

14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules

36: If the Rules Don't Work, Put Out.

Marry a girl who doesn't need spoiler warnings because she reads the last chapter first.

I gotta say that the rules in that book seem to be pretty dumb. The way I look at it is "Why buy a cow that doesn't make any milk?"

Yonder wrote:

I gotta say that the rules in that book seem to be pretty dumb. The way I look at it is "Why buy a cow that doesn't make any milk?"

Because steak tastes *GOOD*

Jonman wrote:
Yonder wrote:

I gotta say that the rules in that book seem to be pretty dumb. The way I look at it is "Why buy a cow that doesn't make any milk?"

Because steak tastes *GOOD*

I'm not entirely sure I like the direction this metaphor is going.

Run for your life, Mrs. Jonman! Run if it's not already too late!

I came across this helpful tip in the Craigslist thread

Ulairi from another thread wrote:

I made the mistake of posting on craigslist looking to start a gaming group/meet some friends. I posted before I went to bed and when I woke up, I had 8 pictures of c*ck in my mail box and two fat chicks who wanted to sleep with me.

Can't have Milk Steak without milk, Jonman.

Agent 86 wrote:

I came across this helpful tip in the Craigslist thread

Ulairi from another thread wrote:

I made the mistake of posting on craigslist looking to start a gaming group/meet some friends. I posted before I went to bed and when I woke up, I had 8 pictures of c*ck in my mail box and two fat chicks who wanted to sleep with me.

Sounds like Ulairi has the right idea...

From the Craigslist thread

Agent 86 wrote:
dhelor wrote:
Ulairi wrote:

I made the mistake of posting on craigslist looking to start a gaming group/meet some friends. I posted before I went to bed and when I woke up, I had 8 pictures of c*ck in my mail box and two fat chicks who wanted to sleep with me.

Well aren't you the popular one.

Quick someone tell Boogle!

Aries wrote:

*I've been out of dating for a long time, as I am married. But this is a great thread for many people, Legion.*
Ok, let's start at the beginning of dating. Once you have secured a phone number, how much time is appropriate to wait, before making a call?

I know there was some kind of unwritten rule, once upon a time, where you were supposed to wait 3 days, or something like that. I think the times have changed, and it is very situation dependant now. Almost everyone is texting, is that the societal norm for contact in young relationships now? If so, do you start texting right away, or is there a right amount of time before it is comfortable to do so?

I don't like asking people out via text, unless I'm intending that it's a a primarily friend thing, as it definitely comes across as more casual. But I've met women who communicate primarily via text and think it's fine. You can learn a lot by just listening to how they give you their number, and the language used ("call me" versus "text me" versus other).

With the phone call thing, I've found that obsessing over the proper amount of time makes whatever choice you ultimately make less likely to be the correct one, because you're going to be in the worried/obsessed mindset, and that will come across in your tone.

If you actually have something to say, or an idea for a date or event you want to invite the other person to, I don't see a problem with calling the next day, especially if it's time sensitive and you think the person would specifically enjoy it (like a band you both talked about liking). If you're really busy, more than four days might be taken as a hint that you're not interested, but being honest about things goes a long way.

If someone gives you the cold shoulder for calling "too soon", or takes it too personally if you don't call them after some magic period of time (when you have a good reason), then you're just dodging a bullet. There will be other opportunities.

Honestly I try not to worry about calling versus texting, or time periods ("try" being the operative word) because when someone genuinely likes you, and you them, little stuff like that doesn't really matter.

I despise texting, but I try and compromise with the girl I'm dating now because she hates talking on the phone. So I wouldn't say it's the norm, but it's not uncommon either.

My number one piece of dating advice is that you need to take care of yourself. THIS DOES NOT MEAN TREATING OTHERS POORLY. Some one who is maintaining their own life while dating is much more interesting than people who focus on dating.

I don't think I have as much advice to offer to ladies, but my other major piece of advice for men is that you really only have one thing going for you when it comes to dating, you usually get to pick the place for the date. Going out on dates is a lot less stressful when you are just going to do something you like doing. I love going out to eat, I have a whole list of places I like going and this goes back to taking care of yourself. I am inviting someone I find interesting to go do something I like doing, this is a pretty good formula for having a good time. Now if I do have a bad time (barring unforeseen tragedy) this will rapidly tell you that you may not be compatible with this person.

Keep doing the things that you like to do. This is the best way to meet someone, you will already have at least one thing in common, and give you something to talk about. Do not stop doing these things when you start dating! This is what makes you interesting. The flip side of this is make sure that you have things that you DON'T do together, don't spend all of your time together in the beginning it alienates your friends and you need to establish your own space.

The other great part of dating is getting to learn new things. By the third or fourth date it is time for your date to take you somewhere, and plan the date themselves. I have very little interest in dating someone without cool places to take me or interests of their own. The exception to this would perhaps be someone who just moved to town recently, but even then they should be able to figure something out.

Above all just have fun and try to make safe choices.

Advice given in the I Confess thread:

Paleocon wrote:

Getting laid as a man is actually surprisingly easy. Get to an acceptable weight, get a job, and get out more. It's really that simple.

oilypenguin wrote:
mudbunny wrote:

And, above all else, just be happy with yourself.

Women have some extra-sensory ability to sense when guys are desperate or not.

When you are happy with yourself, women can sense it and are more attracted to you.

This is damn fine advice.

I have 2 friends over 30 that could have been in your club (1 still is). This "problem" is solved in 2 ways:

1.) Be confident. Or at least appear so. If you take charge of your life and it shows, women will find it attractive. And I don't mean walk into a room and start telling people what to do, I mean... be decisive. Be honest. Be... genuine. If you say what you mean, mean what you say and live up to it. People will respect you and women won't be so hard to get. The only thing is, if you're a bit nuts (and aren't we all?) rein it in a bit. Play it cool. Absolutely be yourself, just... chill a bit (but still be enthusiastic about her stuff). I don't know any of you guys IRL but this is the best advice I can give.

2.) You'll never meet anyone sitting at home. I met my wife in college (thank god). Had that not happened I have no freaking idea how I would meet someone. If you're into games, head to the game store, they frequently hold events to get people in there. Play some games with people. If you're still in school, well, it's summer time. You know as well as I do that this is the best time to be in school from a women perspective =) And if you're not in school and haven't finished, get to it (for a number of reasons).

Meeting people is hard, guys. Getting yourself out there is hard too. One of my aforementioned friends found a friend of a friend and made it work. The other is a manager of a fast food place, barely leaves his apartment and goes out of his way to tell everyone his opinion on everything when he's in social situations. Yeah, I'm shocked he's still single too.

But most of all, don't stress about it. If you want to get out there and meet people, do it. It's fun. And it might not work at first. Don't get discouraged and find fun where you can. You'll meet someone eventually.

oilypenguin wrote:

And one more thing, when you finally do... do the deed (or whatever euphemism you want to employ) ... nothing changes. At all.

Nothing changes with you, I should say. You'll feel relief, maybe. Perhaps be a bit more confident. But really, all the changes are in your head. No one will look at you any different. You're still the same guy. I say that to maybe alleviate a little pressure on you now. Sex won't change your life except it raises the bar for future relationships.

(the relationship will change, though. In fact, the less experience you both have with this sort of thing, the more the relationship will change.)

MrDeVil909 wrote:

Haven't been following this thread at all, but NSMike linked it in the Boogle thread.

I'm as far from any kind of player as you can get, (at least I thought so) but I can share what works for a slightly dorky dude, me. There's solid advice here already, so I will be repeating most of it.

It's easy to say, "be more confident" but not really helpful for someone suffering from a chronic lack.

1) Be healthy. Especially as you're getting older the benefits of good health are significant. Leaving aside that you will be more appealing to women. And as you get more healthy your confidence will improve.

2) Get out. Already been said but needs to be repeated. Do things you find interesting that will bring you into contact with other people, not just women either. Other guys will have sisters or female acquaintances and if you aren't too weird they won't mind you spending time with them. If there is nothing that you find interesting that will provide these opportunities, find something new.

Even if you aren't wild about something like clubbing do it anyway. I enjoy it occasionally, but less as I get older. The occasional drunken making out is good fun though.

If there is a club available for your interest, join it. It's tough to meet people in cities so scuba/cycling/running/whatever clubs usually have regular socials.

3) Talk to women. Don't flirt, don't try be charming, don't try anything. Just chat. Talk to cashiers, clerks, cleaners, waitresses, your best friend's sister. The more you just shoot the breeze the more you will realise that women are just people.

Just try to get a bit more socialised and exposed to women. Even just doing that your opportunities improve. Worry about flirting and play after this.

*edit*

Oh, and try online dating. Seriously.

9/10 of the women you meet may not be great options for various reasons (including you being wrong for them, don't take it personally) but I have had two serious relationships grown out of online meet-ups and some of my best friends are girls I had a couple of dates with and it didn't work out.

And I had one of the best lays of my life on the first night I met a girl who I never saw again. Guess I wasn't one of hers, again, it happens and I didn't take it personally.

Double post for pimpin.

MrDeVil909 wrote:

Just try to get a bit more socialised and exposed to women.

Maybe it's different in South Africa but in America you can get on a sex offender list for exposing yourself to women.

LobsterMobster wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:

Just try to get a bit more socialised and exposed to women.

Maybe it's different in South Africa but in America you can get on a sex offender list for exposing yourself to women.

Nah, exposing yourself here just means it's Tuesday.

Tagging this thread, because you people just made me realize, I'll probably need it soon. =/

I have no advice, but I am intrigued, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

So let's say I know this Dragon and he likes this "girl"... her name is "Mercedes", the problem is she's got this guy with her all the time, and he keeps her locked away inside when he's not with her.

And I, I mean he was wondering how he could hook up with her, any suggestions?

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