Employee Profile: Baggachipz

I had lots of nice things I was prepared to say about Baggachipz, a forum member who has been with us since the very beggining and helped shape the collective personality of GWJ, but then he sent in this picture of himself and it washes away two-and-a-half years of good things. I mean, imagine if he's wearing the coconut bikini when playing Battlefield 2; the guy who just happily ran you over, may be wearing a grass skirt!

IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/Baggadisturbing.thumbnail.jpg)

Read on to find out exactly what the hell is wrong with Baggachipz.

1)Who the devil are you?

My name is Matt, and I'm a disturbingly average white male, 29 years ripe. We just moved to Charlotte, NC to build our dream house.

2) What are you supposed to be doing during the day when you're reading GWJ?

My job title usually includes "Web Developer," but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm professional job switcher. Do what you're good at, they say. Currently I'm trying to start my own business but the harsh mistress of capitalism will most likely require full-time employment in the near future.

3) How about family? Kids? Pets? Particularly meaningful inanimate objects?

I have a lovely wife and a four-legged canine kid, whose name is Denver. Denver is no doubt a "gateway dependent" which will most likely result in human additions to our family.

I'm particularly fond of a small bull's head statue which my parents brought me from Greece years ago. I don't know why they got it for me or what its purpose is. This small bull head is downright scary, and it doesn't match with anything; which, I've learned annoys my wife and ruins her decor motif. As a result, I'm that much more compelled to have it on display in a prominent space in the house. It's fun to see whether guests in our home will ask about it.

4) What was your favorite game over the last year or so? Why?

I sure wish I could list some off-the-wall hidden gem of a game, and look like a seasoned gaming connoisseur. But, my GOTY is Half-Life 2, for every reason everyone else has already listed. It's the only game in a long time that when I finished it, I wanted more in a good way. Like I stated above I'm disturbingly average. Honorable mention goes to Battlefield 2, whose excellent gameplay and teabagging opportunities have brought me much joy and agony.

5) Which game are you looking forward to most?

I'm going to cheat a bit and say that more than any one game, I'm really looking forward to the experience that the Xbox 360 will potentially provide. Yes, I'm filling out this profile right before it launches, amid peak hype, and when this gets posted months from now I may end up looking like a total clown. Moreso than usual.

6) What is your fondest gaming memory?

Until college, games had been more of an obsessive playtime activity that I always figured I'd outgrow. That is, until one night when my freshman-year roommate fired up QBasic Gorillas and we started playing. Then, the idea of mixing the penalty of alcohol consumption was introduced and games competition took on another dimension. What a wonderous new world was opened to me! Competition got fierce, and eventually we were good enough that we would hit the opposing gorilla on every attempt. The unlikely marriage of geeky video entertainment and binge drinking produced a glorious offspring that continues to live with me to this day.

7) Can you hear me now? Good, what's in your wallet?

If you're that Verizon Wireless guy, I'd like to fight you. What kind of world is this when the Dell Dude gets phased out but the Verizon guy is still around? My wallet contains a Costanza-esque collection of receipts and occasionally money. I also have four two-dollar bills stashed in there for no apparent reason.

8) Finally, why do you play games at all? Why haven't you outgrown them?

Games are another form of entertainment, and in my case my favorite form. Their interactive nature makes them superior to passive (and often mind-numbing) forms such as TV. I also love the social aspect of online multiplayer games, even if my wife thinks I look rediculous in a headset. Don't get me wrong, I watch plenty of TV, but I'd rather be playing games. Usually. Those who feel that games are just a child's toy clearly haven't played any games in a long time, and that's their loss. Plus they know I'd pwn them omfglol.

9) Thanks for taking the time to answer our hard hitting questions! Any last words?

My life has seen its share of accomplishments, from Making the game-winning kick in the World Kickball Championship in 2000 to winning a pie-eating contest at summer camp. Those notable accomplishments pale in comparison to getting a front-page spot on this majestic site. Anyone wanna play some QBasic Gorillas?

--

Thanks, Bagga. While I don't encourage your grass skirt wearing, it occurs to me that wearing something while grilling on your porch is better than wearing nothing.

Comments

What does it say about us as a community that no one has mentioned the righteous farmers tan that Bagga is sporting?

belt wrote:

What does it say about us as a community that no one has mentioned the righteous farmers tan that Bagga is sporting?

That everyone's eyes are firmly glued on the nipple?

Employee Profiles are back with a bang, so to speak!

Don't let the haters bring you down, Bagga. You're hot and studly (on that pic)!

VicD714 wrote:

That everyone's eyes are firmly glued on the nipple?

exactly what I was afraid of...

I, for one, would like to commend bagganippz for having the audacity and sheer chutzpah to post a pic that is not a studied pose in "ain't I cool?" I know I don't have the same sized marbles, or nips for that matter, as bagga, but I hope we can all learn a lesson today. That lesson is: regardless how serious we might take ourselves, none of us have bellies quite as pasty white as bagga's. Seriously, that thing's almost translucent!

IMAGE(http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/4426/lovebaer2kd.gif)

I of course kid, I've got a similar farmer brown. Though it'll be a cold day in hell before my picture shows up on this site.

IMAGE(http://www.techhouse.us/Images/Avatars/Askees/francis2.gif)GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

I've got pictures of me playing guitar, drunk in my boxers. Nobody wants that. Ask Katerin!

Wait a second - what would I know about you playing guitar in your boxers? I think perhaps you should ask Podunk. He would totally know. He knows all about the music.

And for the record, I think it's rather cute, Bagga in that coconut bra and grass skirt. It's the green lei that does it.

I've got pictures of me playing guitar, drunk in my boxers. Nobody wants that. Ask Katerin!

Well, actually, we insist!!

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:
I've got pictures of me playing guitar, drunk in my boxers. Nobody wants that. Ask Katerin!

Well, actually, we insist!!

You are a dirty old man! And no! Not until someone donates some money for my lost DS!

Wait a second - what would I know about you playing guitar in your boxers?

I just meant that you know what I look like IRL, you've met me. You have some conception of how scary that image would be. Then again, Sleipnir is a scrawny, dorky guy too

I will never teabag baggachipz again.

Never.

I live in Washington state, thus I have a even more pale body and it's full bodied. I call it my Cadaver Tan.

bagga you're not alone in your desire to fight the Verizon Guy. Every time I pass by his face on a bus stop, I have to resist the urge to punch it square in the nose.

You know that site... I assume there are other versions... that had pics of folks who played EQ grouped by server? Threads like this one make me wonder about a GWJ version and if there was any chance... *any* at all... we could convince the outside world we were serious about both the concept and our studly selves.

That could provide weeks of entertainment. Perhaps that's more about me than you really wanted to know...

Mixolyde wrote:

I just meant that you know what I look like IRL, you've met me. You have some conception of how scary that image would be. Then again, Sleipnir is a scrawny, dorky guy too ;-)

I've met you, Mixo, and I'm just counting the days 'til your half-naked profile pic. :p

Yo, Bagga! If I'd known antics like that transpired at El Casa Chipz, I would never have missed it on my trip. Between the dog-treat-eating, drunken-clothing-shedding wife and that pic...I...I don't know.

Yo, Kat! Are you going to pry DS away from CivIV for ten seconds so he can respond to that challenge?

There is nipple exposure but where's Justin Timberlake?

Nei wrote:

IMAGE(http://img117.exs.cx/img117/5601/n1qshok.gif)

Greatest smiley face type guy I have ever seen.

I could have lived my entire life without that sight. Now I'll have to live the rest of my life without sight!

All in good fun of course. Yay for employee profiles, and I tip my hat to you Bagga for being brave enough to post that pic.

Legion COULD HAVE DIED!

Nice to meetcha Baggachips! Glad to see the return of the employee profiles. I think the rest has been said.

Oh, and, mipple!

I no longer fear hell. For I have seen Baggachipz' right man-breast nipple.

Bags, you've always been one of the funniest posters. Cheers!

And I thought calling you Baggatitz was kinda funny before that.

Like CF said, you have balls the size of a small planet. Sir, I salute you.

The horror... the horror...

Ack! How does one put out their mind's eye?!

Seriously, unrelated note.... you got windows admin type skills, bagga? I know my company has an office in Charlotte, and could use some good people. I will warn you, the Charlotte office is rife with idiots. If you are interested, PM me.

Why don't they make SOS pads for the brain! Yaaaarrrrrr!

Mixolyde wrote:

Why don't they make SOS pads for the brain! Yaaaarrrrrr!

Bagga! Look what you've done!! you've turned mix into a pirate!

Although, perhaps this was part of your left wing environmental plan. What with the effect this will have on global warming.

I figured, hey, none of you people are real anyway, so why the hell not include that pic? I had to distract from my otherwise boring interview answers. Thanks for the kind words, all of 'em.

Tyrian, I've got an interview on Monday with a good-looking prospect, and I dislike idiots. So we'll see what happens there, thanks though.

That pic is especially for you, Mr.Green. But especially for everyone else.

--edit--
And it's a golfer's tan, you fools!

Razorgrin wrote:

Yo, Kat! Are you going to pry DS away from CivIV for ten seconds so he can respond to that challenge?

Only if you trade me 20 gold/turn!

So wait, scrawny? I've never heard myself described as such, what with my ample Dim Sum belly and all

Don't worry bagga, I got your back on this...your naked, pale...skirt wearing....back...uggghh.

Mr.Green wrote:

Like CF said, you have balls the size of a small planet...

...for going that near an open flame wearing a grass skirt.

For some reason I read the end of answer #5 as "like a total clown torso". I thought that was an oddly specific, and disturbing, figure of speech.

Oh...Bagga...you sexy, sexy nipple...er...devil.

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:
I've got pictures of me playing guitar, drunk in my boxers. Nobody wants that. Ask Katerin!

Well, actually, we insist!!

Seconded!