The Failure of a Sports Father: A One-Act Play

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:

Whenever people in this country say "sports", most of the time they actually mean to say "television".

Exactly. I can't stand to watch sports and couldn't possibly care less about trivia or idol worship. I got in the gamut of sports as a kid but I have no idea who any of these people are that are being mentioned. I will say I'm in better shape than anyone I know who follows sports too.

Tongue-in-cheek either doesn't translate well in text or I am absent of the ability to detect it as such.

But I'm not a big football fan so I'd say it's a fair trade-off.

Wow. I almost want to tell my wife that but she will smash me over the head and make me swear our children will never utter the word "Manning."

Got 3 rugrats here. So far the older two have started going to hockey games at 4 years old, and... that's been it. The two-year-old is prepared. He yells "ICE HOCKEY!" when he sees any kind of sports on TV.

LouZiffer wrote:

Got 3 rugrats here. So far the older two have started going to hockey games at 4 years old, and... that's been it. The two-year-old is prepared. He yells "ICE HOCKEY!" when he sees any kind of sports on TV.

You've just outed yourself as a Yankee!

I used the pictures in Sports Illustrated to teach my kids which sport was which. I owe them at least that much.

LouZiffer wrote:

Got 3 rugrats here. So far the older two have started going to hockey games at 4 years old, and... that's been it. The two-year-old is prepared. He yells "ICE HOCKEY!" when he sees any kind of sports on TV.

I only hope my kids love hockey that much. As of last night it's the only sport that doesn't disappoint in my home town (Pittsburgh)

Actually one way to perhaps increase his knowledge and interest in football is to get him involved in a fantasy football league. It's a game, works off of stats, and it'll really increase his knowledge of the players. Granted, he still might not know what team Manning plays for, but at least he'll know he's a QB. Fantasy football really increased my knowledge of players and the game.

Also, when he grows old enough to enjoy beer, he might develop an interest in watching/attending sports. That helps a lot too.

Nevin73 wrote:

Also, when he grows old enough to enjoy beer, he might develop an interest in watching/attending sports. That helps a lot too.

Or he take the path I did and go to bars to listen to live music and pick up women.

I always find it amusing, particularly in "geek" communities, when people react so excessively negatively to the topic of sports.

It reeks of childhood trauma.

It's a shame football never really cropped up in sci-fi like baseball did in Babylon 5 and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; you could have used that as your gateway drug.

Seth wrote:

I am being very, very serious when I say that, at least in the corporate world I am familiar with, having at the very least a passive knowledge of sports is an unwritten requirement for promotion.

Absolutely, knowledge of sports is a great thing to have in many workplaces. Actually liking sports, that's optional.

Rat Boy wrote:

Deep Space Nine

That could so be the name of a baseball team that's chronically (kronicly?) high.

More proof that I have the world's greatest daughter. She plays Sax, loves Miles Davis and Rush equally. She plays Rock Band, but her favorite song to sing is Still Alive. Reads insane amounts of manga, as well as plenty of other books. She also runs a guild on Gaia Online, role playing different things like Harry Potter and Zelda. She also figure skates, and is in the film club at school. For 12, she is pretty amazing. Oh, and he gets pretty good grades in a magnet school for gifted kids. But she could really care less about sports, but will humor me when the Jayhawks play basketball.

I just called down to her to see if she knew who Peyton Manning was. She knew he was the quarterback of the Colts.

Yep, my kid is cooler than your kid!

And we will never have another one becasue you can only get this lucky once.

Seth wrote:

I am being very, very serious when I say that, at least in the corporate world I am familiar with, having at the very least a passive knowledge of sports is an unwritten requirement for promotion.

Totally agreed on this one. Some sports knowledge is pretty much mandatory for easy bonding with strangers in engineering industries (who are mostly older dudes). Fortunately, I loves me some hockey.

To go even further, I try to keep at least a little informed about current TV/celebrity gossip despite having no interest in it. It makes party small talk a whoooole lot easier.

Jayhawker wrote:

More proof that I have the world's greatest daughter. She plays Sax, loves Miles Davis and Rush equally. She plays Rock Band, but her favorite song to sing is Still Alive. Reads insane amounts of manga, as well as plenty of other books. She also runs a guild on Gaia Online, role playing different things like Harry Potter and Zelda. She also figure skates, and is in the film club at school. For 12, she is pretty amazing. Oh, and he gets pretty good grades in a magnet school for gifted kids. But she could really care less about sports, but will humor me when the Jayhawks play basketball.

I just called down to her to see if she knew who Peyton Manning was. She knew he was the quarterback of the Colts.

Yep, my kid is cooler than your kid!

And we will never have another one becasue you can only get this lucky once.

No offense, but I'm pretty sure that you also just described Lisa Simpson.

Sums it up i guess...

Enix wrote:
LouZiffer wrote:

Got 3 rugrats here. So far the older two have started going to hockey games at 4 years old, and... that's been it. The two-year-old is prepared. He yells "ICE HOCKEY!" when he sees any kind of sports on TV.

You've just outed yourself as a Yankee!

I used the pictures in Sports Illustrated to teach my kids which sport was which. I owe them at least that much.

More like the worst born and raised North Carolinian ever, at least from a sports perspective. My love for hockey started in 1980. I've never cared for much else except for (occasionally) college basketball, which is unavoidable given where I'm from.

I do surprise my neighbors in Cary when I tell them I'm a native, though. This place is awash with fellow hockey lovers from up north.

SpyNavy wrote:

Please, oh please tell me you are a resident of some Eastern European nation or maybe Canada.

Hey, don't pin this on us. If someone doesn't like hockey here we send them to the US.

LouZiffer wrote:
Enix wrote:
LouZiffer wrote:

Got 3 rugrats here. So far the older two have started going to hockey games at 4 years old, and... that's been it. The two-year-old is prepared. He yells "ICE HOCKEY!" when he sees any kind of sports on TV.

You've just outed yourself as a Yankee!

I used the pictures in Sports Illustrated to teach my kids which sport was which. I owe them at least that much.

More like the worst born and raised North Carolinian ever, at least from a sports perspective. My love for hockey started in 1980. I've never cared for much else except for (occasionally) college basketball, which is unavoidable given where I'm from.

I do surprise my neighbors in Cary when I tell them I'm a native, though. This place is awash with fellow hockey lovers from up north.

I like you. You're a good guy. We should hang out more.

Your kid sounds like my bro-in-law from ten years ago. He's going almost eight years strong now as a goalie and team coach for rec-league hockey teams. He can list stats, individual players, and scores of many many NHL teams and games. All it took was a good friend recommending that he come out and give actually playing it a try, and lo, over time he got hooked and hooked hard. With time, professional sports details came pretty naturally. He got my sister in on it, and now she's housing two future hockey players in her belly while working as a scorekeeper until they're born so she can get back out on the ice. If you'd told me this ten years ago, I would have laughed pretty hard trying to picture those two geeks getting off their PC's to do such intense physical activity.

His not observing the sports teams you're into observing at this moment doesn't make anyone a failure. Perhaps he just hasn't seen a sport that he considers interesting, yet. Plenty of them are pretty boring to many people without any personal, direct involvement to back it up. Who knows what'll cross his path in the next 10 years that'll turn him into a competitive weightlifter, lacrosse player, or UFC champion.

Each will come into their own. Or not.

LouZiffer wrote:

More like the worst born and raised North Carolinian ever, at least from a sports perspective. My love for hockey started in 1980. I've never cared for much else except for (occasionally) college basketball, which is unavoidable given where I'm from.

I do surprise my neighbors in Cary when I tell them I'm a native, though. This place is awash with fellow hockey lovers from up north.

You're definitely in the right place to be a hockey fan, seeing as Cary is a containment area.

If you lived in, say, Fuquay-Varina or Rocky Mount, you'd have to wear Dale Jr. gear over your hockey stuff just to be able to walk around in public.

Nevin73 wrote:

No offense, but I'm pretty sure that you also just described Lisa Simpson.

You just made my daughter's day, as she is also a big Simpson's fan. She has a standing Tivo subscription for the two episodes that air in the afternoon everyday over the last several years.

But sports is not really her thing, so we've had her in dance and then figure skating classes. We did make her play some soccer, but she is not into team sports at all. Luckily band has provided the same teamwork skills we wanted her to get out of team sports.

My father-in-law told me a long time ago that our kids grow up in spite of us. We can screw up, and they turn out fine, or we can do everything right and the kid can be a mess. The best you can do is provide opportunities for them and support them in the things they have an interest in.

KingGorilla wrote:

Doesn't like sports? What does he watch while he drinks?

I was thinking the same thing!

But then, he is only 17. I never really got into following any sports until I was more or less of legal drinking age. Then I discovered baseball, and its incredible symbiotic relationship with beer!

I watch some sports and enjoy drinking beer, but I can't fault anyone for not liking to watch or follow football or any other game. It's a largely passive experience in which the viewer has no control over the outcome. For some reason, this is supposed to be the one thing that all American males are obsessed about. Craziness. Sports are fun to watch if you like watching sports, but your son shouldn't feel bad if he's not interested in sports at all.

Amoebic wrote:

Who knows what'll cross his path in the next 10 years that'll turn him into a competitive weightlifter, lacrosse playerhippie, or UFC champion.

Edit!

GioClark wrote:

My son went to his first A's game in-utero.

Just chiming in. I don't really have an opinion on this. I can't name more than 10 people on the Raiders' current roster and I'm a lifelong fan.

As long as he's not rooting for a division rival, I think you're good.

No worries Gio, noone pays attention to the Raiders

As for your lack of Basketball knowledge, well....errr....hmmmmm, maybe nope...hmmm, crap, I got nothin

LouZiffer wrote:
Enix wrote:
LouZiffer wrote:

Got 3 rugrats here. So far the older two have started going to hockey games at 4 years old, and... that's been it. The two-year-old is prepared. He yells "ICE HOCKEY!" when he sees any kind of sports on TV.

You've just outed yourself as a Yankee!

I used the pictures in Sports Illustrated to teach my kids which sport was which. I owe them at least that much.

More like the worst born and raised North Carolinian ever, at least from a sports perspective. My love for hockey started in 1980. I've never cared for much else except for (occasionally) college basketball, which is unavoidable given where I'm from.

I do surprise my neighbors in Cary when I tell them I'm a native, though. This place is awash with fellow hockey lovers from up north.

My 6-year-old daughter relishes explaining icing calls to visiting fans when we go see the Hurricanes, still holds a torch for Mike Commodore and gets excited when we see the Blue Jackets on TV, and often yells "open your Goddamned eyes, Van Massenhoven!" though admittedly sometimes he's not officiating.

Spoiler:

Alright maybe 1 out of 3. I can't tell you the number of times I've explained icing to that girl. Open your ears, ya knob!

It's interesting how sports are often stereotyped as "Dumb people interest", I think they're an important part of any person's development =(

I'll probably be disowned by GWJ but if I had to choose between my sports and gaming, I'd go with my sports =P

Mex wrote:

It's interesting how sports are often stereotyped as "Dumb people interest", I think they're an important part of any person's development =(

I'll probably be disowned by GWJ but if I had to choose between my sports and gaming, I'd go with my sports =P

Do you play, or are we talking about just watching. Watching other people play sports is extremely boring to me, but playing them is fun.

Stengah wrote:

Do you play, or are we talking about just watching. Watching other people play sports is extremely boring to me, but playing them is fun.

Bingo.