Dante's Inferno Catch-All

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Huh. Y'know, I studied Inferno. I don't recall the giant blue demon woman squirting blade-armed demon babies out of her putrid nipples while Dante kicks ass with some whirling death chain thing.

I'm all for raising awareness of the classics but isn't this a little like Romeo tearing his way through Verona, screaming "JULIET!" while blasting away the Capulet Ninja Assassin Squad with a pair of machine guns?

LobsterMobster wrote:

I'm all for raising awareness of the classics but isn't this a little like Romeo tearing his way through Verona, screaming "JULIET!" while blasting away the Capulet Ninja Assassin Squad with a pair of machine guns?

Do you have any idea how much longer War and Peace will be if they add bullet time?

Oh wow. I would just love to see my wife's face if she walked in on me fighting that boss.

LobsterMobster wrote:

I'm all for raising awareness of the classics but isn't this a little like Romeo tearing his way through Verona, screaming "JULIET!" while blasting away the Capulet Ninja Assassin Squad with a pair of machine guns?

Are you suggesting that a company isn't working on that right now?

Did I see a Triforce tattoo on the hands of one of the people playing it in the video?

LobsterMobster wrote:

I'm all for raising awareness of the classics but isn't this a little like Romeo tearing his way through Verona, screaming "JULIET!" while blasting away the Capulet Ninja Assassin Squad with a pair of machine guns?

Little off with the machine guns, but close enough:

IMAGE(http://www.channel4.com/film/media/images/Channel4/film/R/romeo_juliet_1996_xl_05--film-A.jpg)IMAGE(http://zurvas.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/romeojuliet.jpg)

Alright....well....say hi to your mother for me.

Please let this be the Dante's Inferno catch-all, the thread title sums it all up.

What the... Great, now I can't unsee it.

It's like they asked a bunch of 12 year olds to define lust. Phallic symbols and breasts? Obviously, but that's not enough. Let's give her the ability to produce milk and minions from the same organ. Woo!

It doesn't come off as a twisted, hellish place. It's like some dude's bad dream.

"Oh man! I had the craziest dream last night. I was Dante from Dante's Inferno and I was fighting some evil dudes from Hell in this tower that DIDN'T END MAN. It just kept going up! And then this giant chick was flying up the tower with me. So I killed a bunch of these guys and then the elevator stopped. Then she totally FREAKED and busted a hole in the wall. But that's not the worse part... The enemies were coming out of her boobs! Yeah I know! It was SICK!"

FSeven wrote:
LobsterMobster wrote:

I'm all for raising awareness of the classics but isn't this a little like Romeo tearing his way through Verona, screaming "JULIET!" while blasting away the Capulet Ninja Assassin Squad with a pair of machine guns?

Little off with the machine guns, but close enough:

IMAGE(http://www.channel4.com/film/media/images/Channel4/film/R/romeo_juliet_1996_xl_05--film-A.jpg)IMAGE(http://zurvas.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/romeojuliet.jpg)

Alright....well....say hi to your mother for me.

Close but I think this is closer. There are machine guns AND ninjas!

- edit -

Gravey wrote:

Please let this be the Dante's Inferno catch-all, the thread title sums it all up.

I heartily agree with this sentiment.

February is a perfect time to release this game. Winter blues got you feeling gothic and desperate?

But Lobster, I have to say that video actually has me wanting to rent the game now just to see what crazy a$$ crap the literature "inspired" them to come up with.

Doh! Someone beat me to it!

TheArtOfScience wrote:
Gravey wrote:

Please let this be the Dante's Inferno catch-all, the thread title sums it all up.

I heartily agree with this sentiment.

Thirded!

What is the ESRB going to think of that boss?

Mystic Violet wrote:

It's like they asked a bunch of 12 year olds to define lust.

It's pretty much exactly the level of thought I'd expect from a studio called "Visceral Games."

Wow.....just..Wow.

I'm sorry...EA expect this game to get an M rating? Good luck with that guys.

LobsterMobster wrote:

Huh. Y'know, I studied Inferno. I don't recall the giant blue demon woman squirting blade-armed demon babies out of her putrid nipples while Dante kicks ass with some whirling death chain thing.

Oh please, how else would you interpret "Amor, ch'a nullo amato amar perdona"? It's a metaphor. Duh.

Spoiler:

Translation: Love, that releases no beloved from loving.

I'm all for raising awareness of the classics but isn't this a little like Romeo tearing his way through Verona, screaming "JULIET!" while blasting away the Capulet Ninja Assassin Squad with a pair of machine guns?

That actually sounds fun.

...I think I need more sleep.

Rallick wrote:
TheArtOfScience wrote:
Gravey wrote:

Please let this be the Dante's Inferno catch-all, the thread title sums it all up.

I heartily agree with this sentiment.

Thirded!

Fourthed!

Has this game done anything right since day one? I don't think so. The same pr people must be making those Marilyn Manson Dragon Age vids.

Wait, her name is Cleopatra and there are what? Babies? In her nipples?

See what happens when you only teach abstinence to kids in school?!

If I had a 360 or PS3, I would buy this game. I think this is hilarious.

I'm definitely going to rent it. It looks like like it should be worth a few hours of laughter combined with a serviceable clone of God of War's gameplay.

While demoing it at PAX, I just used everything I'd ever learned from God of War 1. This game is just more gratuitous and over-the-top.

I'm starting to think even Devil May Cry is a more respectful and accurate retelling. It does look like it'd be a fun rental. It's good and healthy, every now and then, to be completely baffled.

Gotta say, the game looks infinitely more interresting and engaging than the book.

I think Dante's Inferno would be better suited as a survival horror game. Cleopatra is the type of enemy you'd see hanging out with Pyramid Head and faceless nurses.

PR dude's shirt is [size=30]awesome[/size].

I am SO sick of the shock-schlock marketing on this game.

I'll try just about anything, I like God of War, I'm not squeamish, I feel like I'm squarely in the target demo. for this product...

But they're actively making me NOT want to give them my money here.

I think it's actually a very reasonable rendition of "Hey, let's turn Dante's Inferno into a shlocky beat 'em up!"

This game was always going to be about more marketing than substance, it was never going to be some genre-defining innovator or flagbearer for a bold new form of interactive narrative. It's basically Clive Barker's Jericho with a bit more polish on there. And in that context it looks damn good.

garion333 wrote:
Rallick wrote:
TheArtOfScience wrote:
Gravey wrote:

Please let this be the Dante's Inferno catch-all, the thread title sums it all up.

I heartily agree with this sentiment.

Thirded!

Fourthed!

Has this game done anything right since day one? I don't think so. The same pr people must be making those Marilyn Manson Dragon Age vids.

5th.

I really wonder how it's going to sell. I hear that the gameplay is actually enjoyable. There are a lot of people, myself included, who would love to see this game fail in principle. The people behind this game seem obnoxious (in interviews, accounts from other people, etc).

With that said, they really do know how to nail Lust. After watching babies crawl from a dead woman's nipples I'm not even able to stand up, talk about hot.

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