Do you like what you do? If not, how do you cope?

I worked at a soul sucking job once for three years, CSR at an inbound call center for a bank, and it got to the point where I was pretty depressed and always sick. One day during a weekly meeting with my team leader he asked me what my goals were and where I wanted to see myself in the future. At this point I think it was at my lowest of the low and said anywhere but here. So he said alright, where do you want to be and how can we work on getting you there. It was an eye opening moment for me and changed my life for the better. Over the next month or so he helped me set goals, checked to make sure I accomplished them and before too long I started making some noticeable progress in achieving my ultimate goal which was getting the hell out there. In fact just working on getting myself in a position to get out of there started making me feel better on a daily basis. Then one day I just up and quit and never looked back.

Now it's not like my career took off and everything turned out great, but for a while I was able to support myself doing what I loved. I was Acting professionally and living off of what I made! Even though I wasn't able to keep it that way I learned something really important. That I never, ever want to get stuck working at a job I hate. Thankfully with the help of family and friends I have managed to do just that.

So while I had things easier not having a family to support I think there is something you can take away from my story. If you hate your work and you want out, you have to put some effort into finding a way out. I am not talking about a lot of effort, in fact too much can hurt more than help, but some effort. Think of what it is you would rather be doing and start taking steps towards it. If it helps, find someone who will help keep you on track. Before long you'll find you will have accomplished your goal and you'll feel great about it.

As for having low energy at the end of the work day, so much so you feel like you got nothing left for the rest of the day. I would highly suggest some sort of physical activity and outdoors if you can manage it. Just like 1/2 an hour is all you need and you'll find that not only will your mental health improve but you will have more energy for the rest of the day. It truly does work.

I've always said there's really two types of people: Those who live to work, and those who work to live. The truth is that most people fluctuate between those two definitions for most of their lives. Some days you just want the paycheck so you can spend it on your family. Other days, you can't wait to get in the office and accomplish something. The real secret is just getting enough peace in your life so that you can bear the hard times, and still have energy to work to make it better. Never doubt, it can always be better, you just gotta find that energy to work for it.

A certain poem by Antonio Machado keeps popping up, last week and now today. I just realized the refrain might make a decent mantra for some of the folks in this thread. Roughly translated, the refrain is "Traveller, there is no road. You make your path as you walk."

Usually it's "take the road less traveled" or "walk softly and leave the world a better place." I like Machado's version because it speaks a little more to darkness and doubt and the unique challenges each individual faces, rather than just which of the preformed paths I should take.

I'm in the same field as you, ArtofScience, I think. I just finished my residency in physical medicine and rehabilitation and will be starting a job in a hospital next month, taking care of people with strokes, traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injuries, etc. Its a rewarding job, but stressful - dealing with families, with administrators, with nursing staff. As a resident, you could always defer to the attending doctor, but come next month, that will be me! I'm terrified.

I'm looking forward to starting, but there's a nagging doubt that after all this training and preparation, I won't enjoy my career. And with this kind of a job, if I'm not enjoying this, I'm going to burn out quick. It'll easily be a 60 hour a week job, with many weekends thrown in. There'll be a lot of paperwork, and calls at night, and time-wasting meetings. There will be the added stress of dealing with whatever cuts are going to be made with medicare funding.

It's a prestigious job, it pays well. But I know that it's going to decimate the time I spend with leisure activities (like gaming). And I particularly worry that I won't get to see my wife and 14 month old daughter as much as I would like. I can already hear "The Cat's in the Cradle" running through my head...

I just remember that I have 304 days left in my soul sucking job.

I've always worked in jobs I wanted.

When I couldn't find anything, I lived on unemployment benefits for a year, aware that if I took on any old job, I would very likely become stuck with it for a long time. I had no savings and we were poor. Often I felt that I've had enough, that's it, I'm going to take any job to make at least some money. I finally did apply for a bunch of low entry threshold jobs, but thankfully they wouldn't take me because of my education and history in office jobs.

When I did get into my first real job, I did hate it at times. The customers were difficult, I didn't get along with the management and the pay was lousy, but I did love my team. I learned a lot (a lot) with the company, though. I moved on to fly solo in the same field (marketing), which was much more satisfying, but I found that it had been about my team all along - my heart just wasn't in making people want things they don't need. It was not easy to move along, as the career was very promising and I was good in what I did. My wife wasn't very happy about the loss of security I had before, but we're very much about doing what we want in life. I mean, she studies Egyptology at the university.

Then the opportunity arose to get into videogames, using my professional and hobbyist skillset fully, engaged in something I love. I haven't looked back.

I wouldn't be here if I didn't lay myself a couple of goals when I was about to graduate from college (5 and 10 year visions). I have now fulfilled one of those and am well on my way towards the second.

Well, I'm on my way to take a math test this morning. So there is a plan to deal with the career I found myself in.

But I've tried very hard (maybe I should take the next step and meditate?) to live in manner that Certis mentioned. My happiness is directly tied to me, the decisions I make, and how I choose to perceive the world. Two books really hammered this home.

Seven Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey
The Art of Happiness by The Dalia Lama

I wish i could say that I pull off what these guys preach 100% of the time, but they are great places to go back to when I am feeling down.

I actually love my job, but the hour long commute into work is soulcrushing.

The low energy thing after work is really a matter of mental attitude. I find that, within reasonable limits of course, you have the amount of energy you allow yourself to have and it expands to meet your demands. I have boxing classed three nights/week and run with a group twice/week. This pretty much forces me to find the energy after work. Sure, it cuts into my tv watching or game playing time, but it makes actual living a lot more pleasurable.

I am not really happy at my job. In fact, the worst part of my day is when I enter the building and the best part is when I leave. But, I worked so hard to get here that I kind of feel like I have to at least try to make the best of it.

Most nights, I don't leave the office until after midnight, I'm back at work by 8:30 the next morning, and I work pretty much almost every weekend. I want to find something else but there isn't a lot out there. I kind of also want to start my own firm but I need more experience for that. Hell, I even thought about going back and getting a degree in accounting so I can get into consulting/auditing for one of the big firms.

I think the advice people are offering on being physically active after work is really good advice. I took it to heart yesterday and dragged my wife out to the tennis courts for a casual set and it felt good. I was in a pretty pissy mood yesterday as evidenced by my initial post.

Running around and whacking the sh*t out of a tennis ball was blissfully cathartic. Moreso than getting my ass whupped by Seth 20 times in a row on SF4.

And when we got home since we were already all sweaty....*ahem*

Anyway...my mood definately improved.

I sit in front of a PC too much. Taking a break and getting out to nature is a necessary thing that I sometimes forget that I need. (not to mention the exercise)

I used to enjoy my job a lot. I thought I chose my dream career. Lately I'm not so sure I did. I'm unhappy with the way they're screwing with my hours and I have to deal with people more often than the animals. I also don't feel like I'm doing a whole lot of good. I'm not saving lives. I just collect information and if I'm lucky, monitor during surgery. It's become fairly dull. I just hope it's the crap schedule that's making me feel like I've just wasted three years of schooling and thinking this was my life calling.

Coldstream wrote:

I absolutely love what I'm doing. I'm in medical school, on track to become a trauma surgeon treating our troops. I'm currently in officer school. I marched in my Whites on the 4th of July, and got cheered for three solid miles. Girls smile at me, people walk up to thank me for serving, and I go to sleep every night knowing that I'm exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to be doing.

But getting here took ten years of busting my butt when other folks were kicking back in the evenings and just doing enough to get by. I'm not lucky; I took risks and worked hard. Others chose a spouse and kids, with a safe house. I've chosen uncertain adventure.

Long term, who'll be happier? No idea. But today...I love my job.

This is about the boat I'll be in a month or so. I love getting up in the morning. I love wearing the uniform. I love knowing that right now, regardless of how much right now may suck, I am doing a thing that I love. I love knowing that when it's all said and done, what I do matters. Even when I didn't enjoy my day to day function at work, I still loved what I do. I consider myself very lucky that I'm about to have all of it; enjoyment of day to day functions AND the overall satisfaction that comes with my profession.

Ultimately, it's down to what we make of it. Sitting around, being miserable, that breeds more misery. Get out, play tennis with the wife, run, jog, walk, date your wife(sounds counterintuitive, but it works), cook foods using open flames and hot coals. If none of that is your cup of tea, then find what is and DO IT. It'll make you happy, which will make work sufferable, knowing there's a light at the end of each day making it all worthwhile.

AnimeJ wrote:

Ultimately, it's down to what we make of it. Sitting around, being miserable, that breeds more misery. Get out, play tennis with the wife, run, jog, walk, date your wife(sounds counterintuitive, but it works), cook foods using open flames and hot coals. If none of that is your cup of tea, then find what is and DO IT. It'll make you happy, which will make work sufferable, knowing there's a light at the end of each day making it all worthwhile.

A wise bartender I worked with, who was a father back in school gettng a degree in economics, gave me his view on the matter. He works so that he can enjoy his time off, not so he can enjoy his time at work.

You really need to make your off time something that enriches your life in the way your desire. The thing yu have to be careful of, and this goes double for Goodjers, is escapist activities. Video games can very easily fall into that category, along with drinking, TV, and surfing the net all day (Guilty of all of the above!). Getting out and doing something recharges you in a much healthier way.

I hate my job. I just wish I worked at an office where people talked to each other. Where people could question authority without fear of immediate termination.

You can't love what you do so much that it becomes your identity. You must separate your job from who you are, or else you'll become too invested and just endure a constant string of disappointments when things don't work out.

Sorry if someone said that already, I'm a filthy skimmer.

I have a feeling this thread is going to lead up to the Great Goodjer Call-Off of '09. I'm already getting that itch.

I like what I do, I just wish it was going somewhere like it does for the crooked people I used to work for.

I've done on-site computer support in one form or another for ten years. I have worked for decent companies I just didn't gel with and other companies that were just plain crooked but succeeded in spite of themselves. Stylez and I decided to start up a business doing the same thing but with honesty and integrity. We have steadfastly held to that and everyone we do work for is happy in the end but we still have long dead periods and can't seem to find a marketing method that works as well for us as it does for everyone else that tries it. We continue to grow but not fast enough and when I move in two weeks, I'll have about four months of reserves before I'll have to find another job, unless our volume goes up several fold and stays there. This is a good motivator in some ways but just plain terrifying in others.

The greatest driving factors right now are continuing to see the customers we do service made happy and the number of times we hear from people that they'd never use anyone else. Computers and technology are my main hobbies and that I get to do that for a living is still awesome. I am confident that we have a great idea and a great method and that if we can just get volume, that we'll quickly establish ourselves as the best at what we do in this city. We just need the calls before we're out of money. At the end of the day though, despite all these challenges, I've always been more happy doing this for myself than for others.

Do I like what I do for my job? Most of the time.

Does it involve sitting in a cube and pecking at a keyboard and/or talking into a phone like Dilbert for hours at a time? Yes. (but I have a window)

Do I have to deal with incompetent idiots? Sometimes.

Is it stressful? Sometimes.

Do I like the people I work with? They are the best co-workers imaginable. We belch and fart like we're family (politely--but always recognizing the "good ones"), we get along, and we help each other selflessly when needed without asking.

Can I explain what I do to you and is it overly technical? Yes and YES.

Will you go into a coma if I do? Most assuredly.

Does it pay the bills? Not really...and that's the problem. But it's about the only major gripe. I could find more to gripe about or continue to gripe about this some more but it wouldn't help my situation any nor anyone else's. I'm just struck by the irony of how my pay is dependent on people I don't know doing God-knows-what. But I am thankful to have a job.

Post-work physical activity helps a lot: yard work, bicycling, martial arts, etc. with the martial arts being the clear winner here. Nothing helps relieve stress like a good kata or intense--but friendly--kumite (sparring) session. Gaming also helps (duh) but is significantly less physically intensive so its benefits are mainly mental. Unfortunately, my time to do so is limited by family commitments and the number of hours in the day and I only allow myself the luxury of gaming after "the work" is done--being a husband and parent comes first.

And, yes, I have a red Swingline stapler.

lunabean wrote:

I used to enjoy my job a lot. I thought I chose my dream career. Lately I'm not so sure I did. I'm unhappy with the way they're screwing with my hours and I have to deal with people more often than the animals. I also don't feel like I'm doing a whole lot of good. I'm not saving lives. I just collect information and if I'm lucky, monitor during surgery. It's become fairly dull. I just hope it's the crap schedule that's making me feel like I've just wasted three years of schooling and thinking this was my life calling.

Sounds like you like the job fine, it's just that the place you work at isn't letting you do it.

I actually don't mind my job. I liked being an inbound callcenter tech, just wasn't happy with where I was working. (The decision to leave was made for me, which works well enough for me.)

So, I'm currently a CSR, working directly for the company I was working as a contractor for. I have no doubts this job will suck horribly. However, if I kick ass at it for 6 months (Which I can do.), I'll go back to being a tier 2 tech. And the better I do, the faster I'll get to doing what I really want to.

Plus, the company is fun to work for, and I get some pretty shiny extra benefits for it, too.

I love what I do. I have tried other things while avoiding the schooling I needed to do. I caved, went to school and haven't looked back since. One of the joys of what I do is that it can be different everyday.

Ulairi wrote:

I am not really happy at my job. In fact, the worst part of my day is when I enter the building and the best part is when I leave. But, I worked so hard to get here that I kind of feel like I have to at least try to make the best of it.

I had something of the same experience as a lawyer, but things might get better as you go further in your career. The early years of finance-related professions are filled with long, mind-numbingly boring hours. Then again, I got out of law and can't imagine I'd have ended up happy if I stuck with it. Or maybe I would have. Who knows? It's a tough situation to be in and you'll likely second guess your decision no matter what you do.

On the broader question of coping, I find that whenever work is frustrating I sit down for a good hour of Lockup on MSNBC and think about what it would be like to be in prison. Anything seems better than spending time lockup up with so many a-holes.

I spent 10 years waffling about and not knowing what I wanted to do until I found my childhood dream job of a railway freight conductor. A year later, I got laid off because of the recession and low shipping volume.

It's a little bit frustrating to know that there's a job out there that I love going in to work every day for, pays quite well and gives me variety, but I'm unable to do it for now. Especially after the long path it took to find it.

I get to do something that I would do as a hobby on my own anyways. Which is very nice. But, companies are money making institutions. They don't exist to make me happy or to help me enjoy my work. I was recently laid off and I'm looking for work. And I know that I'll end up back in the same situation most likely. Most places you interview at aren't going to really tell you how they feel about quality of work or if they agree with your philosophy on how your job should be done. Sadly, I end up working places where my personal servers, websites, email, etc are all up more reliably than the companies.

I'm not going to start my own company. So I have to deal with the devil to pay the bills. I just hang out with my woman, have fun with my friends, play D&D, L4D, watch some TV and try to find the funding to finally blow up the Sun.

My father grew up wanting to be a Marine. That's basically all what he ever wanted to do. But 4 tours in Vietnam later, he decided enough was enough, and he left the service. When I asked him why, he told me, "I realized I was a 24 year old man doing what a 17 year old boy had decided."

That has always stuck with me, and it factored heavily into my decision to become a writer. When I left for college, the 17 year old me had decided to become a scientist. But the 17 year old me was kind of an idiot, and didn't really want to admit a lot of things to herself (namely, that she didn't really like science). Had I stuck with what she thought she wanted then, I'd be pretty damn miserable now.

I love my job--now more than I ever have--but I don't have any illusions that I'll want to be a writer forever. Yes, I've wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl, and yes, if I could spend the next 50 years writing, I think I'd be happy. But maybe one day I'll wake up, and the drive, the desire or the talent will be gone. If it is, then I'll have to find something else to do.

I think as a culture, we're still stuck in this 1950's era mindset that once you pick your career, that's it, you're done. No switching industries, maybe never even switching employers, and absolutely no changing your mind. But that mindset is obsolete in an era where the average American has 15 jobs in their lifetime. We have to allow ourselves the flexibility to change without guilt or fear, and I don't think we're there yet.

So I guess what I'm saying is that TAOS, it's okay to be unhappy, and it's okay to change your mind about what you want to do for a living. Don't let yourself be a 24 year old, a 44 year old, even a 64 year old doing what a 17 year old decided.

All that said: Even in a "dream job", you'll have days where you wake up grumbling and unenthused about the workday ahead.

KaterinLHC wrote:

When I left for college, the 17 year old me had decided to become a mad scientist. But the 17 year old me was kind of an idiot, and didn't really want to admit a lot of things to herself (namely, that she didn't really like world domination). Had I stuck with what she thought she wanted then, I'd be pretty damn invincible on several different planes of existence now.

Just add a dash of crazy for quality results.

Clemenstation wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

When I left for college, the 17 year old me had decided to become a mad scientist. But the 17 year old me was kind of an idiot, and didn't really want to admit a lot of things to herself (namely, that she didn't really like world domination). Had I stuck with what she thought she wanted then, I'd be pretty damn invincible on several different planes of existence now.

Just add a dash of crazy for quality results.

Well, also I realized there are easier and more subtle methods of world domination. Not to mention ones with better hairstyles.

I learned from the military to move around in your job about every 2 years. I stay in the same field (usually), and mostly with the same company (5 yrs with the 1st, 5 yrs with the 2nd, about to move to the third soon, hopefully). This helps me keep things fresh and interesting because each position has its ups, downs, and challenges (good and bad). If I stayed in the same job position for 10 years I'd go insane. They say you've learned everything your going to learn from most job positions in 2 years anyway. After that it's just repitition.

Also, I always move for something just a bit better. Not always a payraise, but maybe another little resume bullet or that step towards the "next level" in my professional growth. At the core, I like my profession. You have to like your profession, or its time to get a new one. After 2 years I am usually bored with the tasks a certain position has, and I need something new to do. I may also be sick of my boss or coworkers (or they might be sick of me).

The move around every two years concept was something else the military really seems to just have gotten right, whether by design or luck (likely the latter).

KaterinLHC wrote:
Clemenstation wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

When I left for college, the 17 year old me had decided to become a mad scientist. But the 17 year old me was kind of an idiot, and didn't really want to admit a lot of things to herself (namely, that she didn't really like world domination). Had I stuck with what she thought she wanted then, I'd be pretty damn invincible on several different planes of existence now.

Just add a dash of crazy for quality results.

Well, also I realized there are easier and more subtle methods of world domination. Not to mention ones with better hairstyles.

Ahhh yes, the old backdoor-through-the-Plane-of-Luscious-Golden-Manes method... my paperwork is still jammed up in customs.

I agree that writing for a living seems much more awesomesauce than scientific rigor and non-falsifiable hypotheses. Especially because writing is a largely transferable skill! You can be a marketer one day, a P.R. weasel the next, a technical writer on Friday, and a sex columnist during Leap Years.

Wait.

You can make money writing?

WHY WAS I NOT TOLD OF THIS?