Hot Dogs -- The Great Debate I Never Knew About

Since the founder of this thread feels so strongly against the obvious superior and somewhat divine flavors of mayonnaise; let me offer this CEJ family classic hot dog treat:

  • cook hot dog and slice in half (length wise)
  • Place on sour dough bread (toasted) prepared with mayo (real; not salad dressing) and mustard
  • Add a slice of mild cheddar cheese
  • Add thinly sliced dill pickle and top slice of sour dough.
  • Eat with chips not french fries.
  • Soda optional. If over 21, beer required.
Hypatian wrote:

Poutine is why I do not go back to Montreal. I would die.

Yes, let's not cloud the discussion of pig lips and assholes with talk of The Perfect Food. Well, perfect if you discount the effect on lifespan.

Funkenpants wrote:
Elysium wrote:

Yes, I'm sorry, I just can't stand for this Mayonaisse slander any further. It is the caulk that holds food together, the spackle that fills in the holes of flavor. I don't always have mayo with a hot dog, but when I don't I feel like I've forgotten something important.

This is why it was ridiculous for someone to claim Americans don't respect mayo. In many parts of the country, when you order a burger or sandwich they ask you what you want on it assuming that whatever you answer is in addition to the mayo.

So ask for your burger with barbecue sauce, you're getting a burger with a little red sauce on top of a huge sloppy pile of mayo.

Mayo makes me want to vomit. It's like adding puss to your sandwich.

Different strokes....

ColdForged wrote:
Hypatian wrote:

Poutine is why I do not go back to Montreal. I would die.

Yes, let's not cloud the discussion of pig lips and assholes with talk of The Perfect Food. Well, perfect if you discount the effect on lifespan.

I wonder if he meant die from cholesterol and morbid obesity.

They often compare poutine to a brick of butter

interstate78 wrote:
ColdForged wrote:
Hypatian wrote:

Poutine is why I do not go back to Montreal. I would die.

Yes, let's not cloud the discussion of pig lips and assholes with talk of The Perfect Food. Well, perfect if you discount the effect on lifespan.

I wonder if he meant die from cholesterol and morbid obesity.

They often compare poutine to a brick of butter

That's precisely what I assumed he meant. I lived in Montreal for 2 months last summer. Were I still there I would be roughly double my current weight. An insidious threat to my waistline!

Catch-up time! (get it? Catch-up? :P)

Minarchist wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
Minarchist wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:

The real debate, however, is cooking methods: Grilled or Deep-Fried. Nothing else will be accepted.

Say hello to broiling. It's like grilling, but upside-down! No flame-ups to char the dog, just a nice, even Maillard brown. (Char is not a valid flavor! It is a carcinogen!)

Flameups mean you either a) don't know how to use a chimney or b) put the meat on the grill too soon. Grill markings from where the skin burned on the rack is accepted, and even required by law in some states.

With most dogs they're somewhat unavoidable on a gas grill; agreed, they're avoidable on a charcoal grill, but you're talking about close to 45 minutes worth of preparation, versus simply turning on your oven for broiling, for very similar results.

45 minutes? Seriously dude, go buy a chimney and some matchlight charcoal. I can get a charcoal grill going faster than gas.

Paleocon wrote:

My wife likes them chopped up and tossed in kimcheejigae.

Oh man, that sounds so good right now. I haven't had good Korean in months ><

Parallax Abstraction wrote:
Agent 86 wrote:

You people and your Chicago Dogs, bleh. I give you the Sonoran Dog:

IMAGE(http://i661.photobucket.com/albums/uu340/hellboy667/sonoran.jpg)

There are many variations, but in general, all Sonoran dogs are wrapped in bacon, placed in a soft Mexican bun and topped with numerous condiments such as beans, mustard, mayonnaise, onions, tomatoes, cheese and jalapenos.

It's...so...beautiful.

Indeed. I almost want that more than good Korean food right now.

Elysium wrote:

Yes, I'm sorry, I just can't stand for this Mayonaisse slander any further. It is the caulk that holds food together, the spackle that fills in the holes of flavor. I don't always have mayo with a hot dog, but when I don't I feel like I've forgotten something important.

Once, I was an Anti-Mayo. Then I tried it, in concert with sweet relish, mustard, ketchup and cheese. It was a taste explosion in my mouth.

AnimeJ wrote:

It was a taste explosion in my mouth.

Beware of explosions in your mouth.

AnimeJ wrote:
Minarchist wrote:

With most dogs they're somewhat unavoidable on a gas grill; agreed, they're avoidable on a charcoal grill, but you're talking about close to 45 minutes worth of preparation, versus simply turning on your oven for broiling, for very similar results.

45 minutes? Seriously dude, go buy a chimney and some matchlight charcoal. I can get a charcoal grill going faster than gas.

Hey, if you're going to do something, it's worth doing right. I have a chimney, and I use natural lump charcoal. If you wait until the coals are white, for best results, it usually takes 45-60 minutes. Cooking on them while they're still flaming is a recipe for guaranteed flame-ups. And quick-starting briquettes taste....off. I dunno what it is about them, but I can always tell when somebody uses them.

CEJ wrote:

Since the founder of this thread feels so strongly against the obvious superior and somewhat divine flavors of mayonnaise; let me offer this CEJ family classic hot dog treat:

  • cook hot dog and slice in half (length wise)
  • Place on sour dough bread (toasted) prepared with mayo (real; not salad dressing) and mustard
  • Add a slice of mild cheddar cheese
  • Add thinly sliced dill pickle and top slice of sour dough.
  • Eat with chips not french fries.
  • Soda optional. If over 21, beer required.

fixt

1) Cook (all beef) hotdog in microwave for 25 seconds (may vary based on wattage) make long cuts 1/4" deep down top and bottom, and cut off the tips at both ends to even out the cooking
2) Toast hotdog bun or two pieces of sour dough bread until browned
3) Spicy mustard (Guldens is preferred) and ketchup (or catsup, I still dont know which on it is) poured over the top of the hot dog in sufficient quantities give at least a 50% chance some will spill on your shirt
4) Add a slice of real cheddar cheese, never, and this is important, never use American cheese slices of anything under pressure in a can
5) Place a few table spoons of real salsa on the hot dog once it rests nicely in the toasted bun
6) I agree, must be chips, not fries, fries are for hamburgers
7) Optional - pour some chili over the top that is hot enough to melt the cheese and ideally cause a mild burn to your mouth on the first bite.
8) Optional - make two, because you will want another one
9) Soda or beer as prescribed and allowed by local laws
10) Rule of law - If at any professional baseball game, you are required to eat a hot dog, its in the constitution.

The purist in me says: mustard, sweet relish and celery salt are the only acceptable toppings for dogs.

And although I have had ketchup on dogs before, it's a no-no...

Anyways, the best hotdogs I've had are 'NY System Weiners' which are not from NY but from where I grew up-- RI... Steamed bun, case-less weiner, chopped onions and a seasoned meat sauce. Yum. We just call them weiners, but they may also be referred as 'gaggers' or 'bombs'.

I've been to RI. Apparently you have to wash the wieners down with coffee milk.

Catchup should never be anywhere near a hot dog. The correct answer is: chicago style.

The other option is when you're in asia and you get your instant noodles that come with the hotdog, inside the box. They are good in the asian instant noodles because they tend to be very spice (the noodles, not the dog) and the hotdog is a good thing to bite into to get rid of some of the heat of the noodles.

Dr_Awkward wrote:

I've been to RI. Apparently you have to wash the wieners down with coffee milk.

That's...that's an OOC just by itself.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present The Homewrecker (courtesy of http://thisiswhyyourefat.com)

IMAGE(http://21.media.tumblr.com/i2dw5nf19jsa1vpcqNVfVBDPo1_r1_500.jpg)

A fifteen inch deep-fried hot dog topped with jalapeños, habanero chili sauce, coleslaw, diced tomatoes and a mound of cheese.
God bless America. *Wipes away a tear*

This is the Homewrecker that I know.

IMAGE(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/64390933_573f6f18c1.jpg?v=0)

cartoonin99 wrote:

This is the Homewrecker that I know.

WELCOME TO MOE'S!

Kraint wrote:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present The Homewrecker (courtesy of http://thisiswhyyourefat.com)

IMAGE(http://21.media.tumblr.com/i2dw5nf19jsa1vpcqNVfVBDPo1_r1_500.jpg)

A fifteen inch deep-fried hot dog topped with jalapeños, habanero chili sauce, coleslaw, diced tomatoes and a mound of cheese.
God bless America. *Wipes away a tear*

Yeah, saw that on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on the Food network. Looks pretty insane.

Minarchist wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
Minarchist wrote:

With most dogs they're somewhat unavoidable on a gas grill; agreed, they're avoidable on a charcoal grill, but you're talking about close to 45 minutes worth of preparation, versus simply turning on your oven for broiling, for very similar results.

45 minutes? Seriously dude, go buy a chimney and some matchlight charcoal. I can get a charcoal grill going faster than gas.

Hey, if you're going to do something, it's worth doing right. I have a chimney, and I use natural lump charcoal. If you wait until the coals are white, for best results, it usually takes 45-60 minutes. Cooking on them while they're still flaming is a recipe for guaranteed flame-ups. And quick-starting briquettes taste....off. I dunno what it is about them, but I can always tell when somebody uses them.

Ah, ok. Lump Charcoal would do that. As for Matchlight, I use Kingsford's Matchlight with Mesquite, and it is outstanding.

Ranger Rick wrote:
cartoonin99 wrote:

This is the Homewrecker that I know.

WELCOME TO MOE'S!

This is exactly what I was thinking, however Freebird's is WAY better.

After reading seven pages of nothing but talk about hot dogs, french fries, poutine, bacon, and every condiment known to man, I am now not only starving, but on the verge of having a massive coronary.

I love you guys!

Oh, and btw; ketchup, mustard, and onions. The civilized way to eat a hot dog.

VicD714 wrote:

After reading seven pages of nothing but talk about hot dogs, french fries, poutine, bacon, and every condiment known to man, I am now not only starving, but on the verge of having a massive coronary.

That's odd, after skimming through the ingredients and pictures of the last two pages I have entirely lost my appetite and feel mildly ill.

Microwave or griddle. Keep your open flames away from my casings!

Captain_Arrrg wrote:

Microwave or griddle. Keep your open flames away from my casings!

You're a freak of nature, you know that?

Condiments don't matter. Hot dogs are the equivalent of the E mark on your car's fuel gauge. When you look in the fridge and the only thing that looks good are the hot dogs, it's time to go grocery shopping.

Rubb Ed wrote:
Captain_Arrrg wrote:

Microwave or griddle. Keep your open flames away from my casings!

You're a freak of nature, you know that?

I wasn't gonna say anything, but I've gotta back him up on this one.

SommerMatt wrote:

Yeah, saw that on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on the Food network. Looks pretty insane.

Insane? It looks delicious! I just wonder if there is any practical way to eat that thing without resorting to utensils.

Elysium wrote:

Yes, I'm sorry, I just can't stand for this Mayonaisse slander any further. It is the caulk that holds food together, the spackle that fills in the holes of flavor. I don't always have mayo with a hot dog, but when I don't I feel like I've forgotten something important.

I was waiting for you to out yourself. I know your Wisco, Culver's-loving type, and I know that the hippie vegans of Madison and the NPR-lovers of Milwaukee are the only reason WI isn't at the top of the fattest states list every year.

Now come down to Chicago and have a nice, healthy (because it's stuffed with spinach!) slice of deep dish. :*

Minarchist wrote:

And quick-starting briquettes taste....off. I dunno what it is about them, but I can always tell when somebody uses them.

It's kerosene.

Edwin wrote:

Start at about 2 minutes 50 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U89K-...

Think you meant this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ3Xi...

Word, have you been to the third restraunt mentioned on that show, The Publican? Its not quite as cheap as they make it out to be but it has really great food and beer there.

People actually eat hot dogs? I thought they were a vicious prank.

Ulairi wrote:

Catchup should never be anywhere near a hot dog. The correct answer is: chicago style.

I don't know, I find hot dogs taste pretty much the same whether I'm wearing pants or not.