Please, for the love of all things Holy, stop posting on the Creepy Spider thread

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I'm not too proud to admit it: I'm a grown man who's deathly afraid of spiders. It's such a primal fear and revulsion that I swear I can feel my DNA cringe every time I see one of them.

Personally, I blame seeing The Incredible Shrinking Man as a young child and watching that poor sap use a straight pin to battle it out with a big, nasty, hairy...oh, God I can't even finish this sentence.

I accidentally clicked on that thread the other day and caught a teeny glimpse of that spider covered in thousands of squirming baby spiders. That evil image was seared into my brain. The horror, the horror.

Now every time I see Creepy Spider thread on the first page that vision of what Hell and eternal torment is surely like pops up in my mind.

So I'm asking--nay, begging--for the love of all things Holy, please stop posting in that thread. Let it die like all things arachnid should--fast and, preferably, painfully. At the very least, rename it to "Cute Puppy Dogs and Kittens" or something less traumatizing to a big wussy like me.

Yes, the man speaks the truth. Spiders=horrible

If I was a slightly meaner person I would put a picture of the spider in this thread.

Wouldn't that be even worse if it was named puppies and kittens? At least with the spider thread theres a warning, right there in the title!

Back when I was going to school in Texas, a friend of mine got bitten by a Brown Recluse in bed. Half his face started to rot. So... there's something to think about when you're trying to sleep.

Don't sleep in Texas?

I sleep in TEXAS!!!!!

By the way!
IMAGE(http://www.white-hat-web-design.co.uk/images/spider.jpg)

Friendly Spider thread now!

Pfft, that's no arachnid. That's an arthropod if I've ever seen one.

Switchbreak wrote:

Back when I was going to school in Texas, a friend of mine got bitten by a Brown Recluse in bed. Half his face started to rot. So... there's something to think about when you're trying to sleep.

You evil, evil man.

How about this? Kitten or Spider?

Love the spiders, for they are all that keep the bedbugs from sucking you dry of blood whilst you blissfully sleep...

Switchbreak wrote:

Back when I was going to school in Texas, a friend of mine got bitten by a Brown Recluse in bed. Half his face started to rot. So... there's something to think about when you're trying to sleep.

I'm pretty sure my arachnophobia stems from having a brown recluse bite do a really nasty number on the sole of my foot as a very small child.

The doctor misdiagnosed it at first, so the bite continued to worsen. Then, when they finally started treating it, the necrosis was eating into the meat. That was a very unpleasant few weeks, I assure you.

IMAGE(http://www.chinesejetpilot.com/images/ks/s60.jpg)

That is low man. Really, really low.

IMAGE(http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/5364/2558580036554a033531vw5.jpg)

That's the cutest terrifying spider I've ever seen. Maybe it's wearing the chipmunk corpse as a disguise? You barely notice the extra legs.

Ok - Never going to Texas 0_0

Or Australia for that matter - they may as well just jab a needle of poison in your arm coming off the airplane >_<
(note: may be an exaggeration :P)

Got to say, spiders don't really bother me that much (although of course I live in a country where all the spiders are of the non-poisonous variety, so the odds are rather more in my favour :D).

Wasps though....brrr.....

Damn! Those chipmunks will hump anything.

Well, since Pharacon already breached the bastard barrier:
IMAGE(http://www.chinesejetpilot.com/images/ks/s8.jpg)

I'm keeping a list, you bastards...

Never got the whole spider phobia. Candiru, otoh, terrify me.

And while we're in the business of combining animals, try this one: Bombardier Candiru.

Paleocon wrote:

Never got the whole spider phobia. Candiru, otoh, terrify me.

And rightly so.

This fish is also known to attack humans and animals and swim into an orifice (the vulva, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra).] Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery. Though there have been documented candiru attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. The danger for the person lies more in the infection and shock that results from having the organism lodged there for an extended period of time than from physical damage done by the actual fish itself.

The fish locates its human targets when people urinate near the fish. *the candiru is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat.* They are also probably not attracted to pure urine. However they are capable of jumping and entering the urethra of a man standing *next to water and urinating. They are also probably only able to enter a human urethra when it is expanded during urination.

Just try not to think of all the spiders that could be on the underside of your desk.

OG_slinger wrote:

I'm keeping a list, you bastards...

Did you really expect any less from this crowd?

VicD714 wrote:
OG_slinger wrote:

I'm keeping a list, you bastards...

Did you really expect any less from this crowd? :D

Agreed. This thread had: "go ahead, I dare you" all over it.

Orb spiders in Nebraska. The suckers get as large as CDs in some cases. And, during a drought, aggressive.

Podunk wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

Never got the whole spider phobia. Candiru, otoh, terrify me.

And rightly so.

This fish is also known to attack humans and animals and swim into an orifice (the vulva, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra).] Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery. Though there have been documented candiru attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. The danger for the person lies more in the infection and shock that results from having the organism lodged there for an extended period of time than from physical damage done by the actual fish itself.

The fish locates its human targets when people urinate near the fish. *the candiru is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat.* They are also probably not attracted to pure urine. However they are capable of jumping and entering the urethra of a man standing *next to water and urinating. They are also probably only able to enter a human urethra when it is expanded during urination.

:shock:

You know what? F*ck the banana. The banana is not the atheists' nightmare, it's this goddamned fish. The candiru is absolute proof that God exists and that he's a sadistic bastard.

Podunk wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

Never got the whole spider phobia. Candiru, otoh, terrify me.

And rightly so.

This fish is also known to attack humans and animals and swim into an orifice (the vulva, anus, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra).] Because of spines protruding from the fish, it is almost impossible to remove except through surgery. Though there have been documented candiru attacks on humans, there is no evidence the fish can survive once inside a human. The danger for the person lies more in the infection and shock that results from having the organism lodged there for an extended period of time than from physical damage done by the actual fish itself.

The fish locates its human targets when people urinate near the fish. *the candiru is capable of swimming up the stream of urine in mid-air to a victim standing on shore or a boat.* They are also probably not attracted to pure urine. However they are capable of jumping and entering the urethra of a man standing *next to water and urinating. They are also probably only able to enter a human urethra when it is expanded during urination.

:shock:

I'm never peeing again. Ever. Even without the male bits these fish seem to prefer.

mateo wrote:
VicD714 wrote:
OG_slinger wrote:

I'm keeping a list, you bastards...

Did you really expect any less from this crowd? :D

Agreed. This thread had: "go ahead, I dare you" all over it.

QFT

Cramps wrote:

Pfft, that's no arachnid. That's an arthropod if I've ever seen one.

DON'T YOU JUDGE FRIENDLY SPIDER!

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