Farscry rides a rollercoaster, Fyedaddy almost dies...

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From laughing at me.

Fyedaddy, me, and our ladies went to Six Flags in Illinois on Saturday. During the course of that fateful day, I ended up riding two roller coasters. And you know what? Those were two of the most terrifying events in my life. I'm never getting on another one of those things again. Keep in mind that I have full-blown acrophobia. However, I love going fast, flying in planes doesn't really bother me much (surprisingly), and I love games like F-Zero (the crazier the track, the better), so I figured I ought to try a roller coaster at least once in my life.

We started me off on the big wooden coaster (the Eagle), figuring that with the lack of loops, rolls, and other crazy contortions, it wouldn't be so bad. Just go up, roll over a few hills, maybe have one big turn, probably about the best first coaster at the park for me. My first warning sign should've been Fye chuckling as we went in line for the red train and I commented "Hey, uh, guys, that sign says this one's the 'high thrill' train.. shouldn't we take the blue one?"

Waiting in line, I started getting a little nervous, but not too bad. Where you line up for the coaster, you can't see the initial hill. The boarding is in a covered "station" and the coasters pull out and curve around towards the big initial hill. As I got onto the coaster, the nerves started really kicking in. When we were locked in and it started moving, I already was getting terrified, because I was stuck until it was done now (I'm honestly getting a little tweaked just reliving through the whole memory to write this recount for you guys). Fye and Katie were in the seat behind me and Debby (That's Alaysha for you fellow Blackhand players ;)), so I got to hear Fye saying "hey, look at that view!" as we're being pulled up this monstrous hill. Two things really hit me then: 1) it was a lot steeper than I anticipated (and I was about to learn that going down was even MORE steep) and 2) it was a lot higher than it looked from the ground...

We near the top, I'm saying "oh god, oh god, oh god" like a mantra, my voice and body completely out of my conscious mind's control at that point. As we crest the hill, I see the track going darn near straight downward (to my perspective; though it is a pretty steep angle after all), and I screw my eyes shut just as the train starts hurtling downward. At that point, a lot of it is a rush of memory, just mainly me screaming (screaming) at the absolute top of my lungs in sheer abject terror, gripping the rail of the car so hard that by the time the ride finished, I had to practically peel my fingers off of it. I actually had my eyes open for a lot of the ride after the first steep drop, so I could at least anticipate what my body was going to endure.

Most of the problem deals with my phobia of heights/falling, and it was honestly unmanageable. Fortunately, it only took me a few minutes after the ride to recover enough to laugh along with the others (hey, since I suffered no actual harm, it was hilarious in retrospect).

I tried another coaster later, the "family" one (the Whizzer), and that was basically almost as bad for me. Fyedaddy is evil; as we're waiting in line I see part of the coaster where as it whips by, it tilts very far to the side. "That's a different coaster" he says, trying to keep me from getting nervous. I'm never forgiving him for that. Didn't get quite as fast as the eagle, but had a lot more harrowing turns and it leaned way too far to the sides for me. We were nearing the top of the initial hill (it corkscrews) and I'm saying "this is a lot higher than it looked!" as Fye's laughing like the Joker, and as we see the rail down apparently (I don't actually remember this) I said "OH sh*t! aaaaAAAAAAUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAGGGHHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!" followed by an entire ride's worth of more terrified screaming at the top of my lungs.

I never got nauseous or dizzy from the coasters, rather they were just too terrifying for me. The whole time we were riding the second one I could hear Fye laughing his &$$ off behind me. I thought it was hilarious too after I recovered again.

That's not "fun" scary for me though, that's just "terror" scary. I won't be riding another one in the future! My throat was hoarse through last night from two or three minutes worth of no-holds-barred screaming on Saturday. I didn't think I could scream that loud...

I'm sticking with the children's caterpillar ride in the future....

IMAGE(http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A9126/91261/300_91261.jpg)
The Griffon (Busch Gardens Williamsburg) stops and holds you suspended for a couple of seconds above a near-vertical drop. It's quite exhilarating.

Wooden coasters can't approach the kind of stuff steel ones can. But you know what? The last wooden coaster I rode (Six Flags Great Adventure in Jersey a few years ago) terrified me because that sh*t was ancient. It rocked and squealed and shook like it was literally ready to fall apart. This was a coaster I rode all throughout my childhood only now it's taken on this extra quality that prevents from even thinking about riding again (not that I'm in Jersey very often).

Ok, so I guess I shouldn't really be posting here, since I love coasters. If you want one of the best wooden coaster experiences, hit up King's Island in Cincinnati, OH. First, ride The Beast. This is the greatest wooden coaster ever built, hands down. Second, ride Son of Beast, the only looping wooden coaster in the world. You could probably end your day at that point, but there are a few other, good coasters in the park.

In Sandusky, OH, resides Cedar Point, practically the roller coaster Mecca for coaster enthusiasts. Home to several record-breakers (though not record-holders anymore, since Sandusky got nervous and put a law on the books that they couldn't go any higher than they already had), my favorite steel coaster lives there, the Millenium Force. 310 foot hill, 80 degree drop, negative G's on corresponding hills, minimalistic restraints. It was a pioneer in coasters, that's for sure. Oh, and there's a speed lift up the first hill that goes about 35 MPH and speeds up at the top to throw you down that first hill. This was not really done as a means to increase thrill, but to make sure a good wind didn't catch the train on the way over the next one and cause it to roll back. Since the park is on a lake, strong winds are pretty common, which affects another record breaker in the park, the Top Thrill Dragster. Just google it, it's too awesome to describe here. But this one frequently hits a wind in just the right way to cause rollback. Then they launch you again.

Good times.

I had a similar starting experience that actually ended way different for me. I too am scared of heights. Every time we head out to an amusement park, it would take my friends lots of convincing for me to do anything and I would normally refuse only the rides I had ridden on as a kid at small town carnivals (scrambler, tilt-a-while- the octopus). However, eventually my friends convinced me to go on the big roller coaster. I was gripping on to the handle with white knuckles and was basically all kinds of freaked out the entire way up the hill. Luckily my friends weren't evil and didn't have me sit in the first seat or anything. As I crested the hill and looked down, I continued to freak out, until we started really moving. I let out a good scream that turned into a laugh, and then turned into cheers of excitement. I was having a blast and was hooked. I think I rode that coaster 20 times that day :). I'm still not the best with heights, but I can put aside that fear to get on a roller coaster and pull some Gs.

Great.. now I want to go to Valley Fair (MN amusement park)

I like roller coasters as long as they don't go upside down.

I'm never convinced the ones that go upside down won't cause me to fall out and die.

Otherwise - I love 'em.

Oh, no worries, I love hearing how people enjoy them. I watched them ride the Superman coaster too, that was crazy. I just figured I'd share the story for laughs, it was a fun weekend. I wish I could enjoy the coasters, it actually sucks that I just couldn't handle it.

We didn't know until later that they take photos of each coaster ride, or we would've had to buy a photo of my terror-stricken face.

I can honestly say, without exaggeration, that watching/hearing Farscry ride those two rollercoasters was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in person. I laughed so hard, so much, for so long, that my stomach still hurts two days later.

The first coaster was "holy crap what a big baby! this is hilarious" until the ride was over and he was physically shaking (and needed to be helped from the cart, down the stairs). That was about 2:30 PM. After he recovered (we walked around, ate a very late lunch, the rest of us went on some rides) from that he eventually worked up the courage to try the starter coaster (five hours later). The results were the same, as he posted, but what he failed to include was that there were several 6-10 year olds in the waiting queue just staring at him in awe when I was pulling his limp carcass from the starter cart. By then those children were nearly as frightened as he was and I'd be willing to bet there was more than one of them that chickened out at the last moment.

I give the farscry many kudos for trying the first coaster and then having the courage to try the second. I'll never expect him to ride another one ever again... and he should also never expect us to stop laughing at him for those few minutes of pure entertainment.

P.S. - The new 'The Dark Knight' ride (Six Flags - Chicago) is possibly the worst "roller coaster" I've ever sat through. That ride was 30 seconds of my life that I will never get back. I would tell anyone to avoid it like the plague and treat it as a complete waste of time. Had we not been able to use the Flash Pass for it (esentially not waiting in line more than five minutes) and had been one of the poor saps that waited in line for 3 hours... I might had to have been escorted from the park.

Your kind are an endless source of fun at amusement parks! I went to a corporate event at Six Flags, during which there was a test opening of Tatsu, which I couldn't find a good picture for, but is one of those coasters where you climb in, sit down, and the thing rotates forward 90 degrees so that you feel like you're dangling in space. This lady in front of my little group was there with her kid, and she was obviously not too keen on the idea of going on this ride. The kid is all excited and chattery and she's standing quietly and giving monosyllabic replies to everything the kid is saying.

So I decide to have a little fun. I wink to my friends and start describing how we probably shouldn't be doing this, since they're still working the kinks out on this ride and how that Superman flying coaster just killed that guy over in Illinois, and so forth. I can tell she's listening, because now she's gone completely silent and is breathing much faster. We wind our way to the head of the queue, and the kid is adamant about sitting in front (perfect!), so I get right behind them and follow them up. The harnesses pull up, they climb on, my friend and I climb on, and we all strap in. Then the thing rotates forward, she literally starts whimpering, and I start moaning in mock terror. We take the long clanking ride to the top and I'm yelling like crazy. Then the ride paused at the top of the slope, and she tossed her cookies right there, just before the car released.

I don't think she rode it a second time.

nsmike wrote:

Second, ride Son of Beast, the only looping wooden coaster in the world. You could probably end your day at that point, but there are a few other, good coasters in the park.

I was curious to see how the wooden loop was constructed, so I looked it up and it seems the loop was removed last year because of an accident the year prior that sent several dozen to the hospital. That'll help alleviate Farscry's phobia!

wonderpug wrote:
nsmike wrote:

Second, ride Son of Beast, the only looping wooden coaster in the world. You could probably end your day at that point, but there are a few other, good coasters in the park.

I was curious to see how the wooden loop was constructed, so I looked it up and it seems the loop was removed last year because of an accident the year prior that sent several dozen to the hospital. That'll help alleviate Farscry's phobia! ;)

Ah, yes, I'd forgotten about that accident. I heard about it. Didn't realize they removed the loop, though. That's a bit of a shame, but not a great loss, the coaster is good otherwise, too.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Wooden coasters can't approach the kind of stuff steel ones can. But you know what? The last wooden coaster I rode (Six Flags Great Adventure in Jersey a few years ago) terrified me because that sh*t was ancient. It rocked and squealed and shook like it was literally ready to fall apart. This was a coaster I rode all throughout my childhood only now it's taken on this extra quality that prevents from even thinking about riding again (not that I'm in Jersey very often).

If you're in the NY-Metro, it's time to get on this ancient one. 81 years of omfug:

IMAGE(http://www.crownheights.info/media/4/20061130-cyclone.jpg)

If the link holds, this image is awesome- the first drop:

IMAGE(http://www.geocities.com/buddychai2/Brooklyn/Cyclone/cyclone2.jpg)

I'm curious of how after you were completely terrified from the first roller-coaster, they got you to go on a second? Mad props for conning you on that one

I remember tricking a couple of people into riding the same one several times because "they were on the steeper track", "they were in the front, which is worse than the back" or "they were in the back, which is worse than the front". Just awesome how much hatred a person can gain after pulling that off

I hate roller coasters.

Your first problem was riding The American Eagle. That is the only roller coaster that has ever scared me, and like Quintin, it has nothing to do with speed or drops, but the fear that it's going to shake itself apart.

If you couldn't handle the whizzer, I wouldn't recommend any of the others at Six Flags, but Raging Bull and Batman are two of my favorite coasters.

I have to second Fye's comments on The Dark Knight (coaster, not movie). It is absolute sh*t. When I went, it rained that day, and the line for TDK is indoors, so we didn't mind too much the 2 hour wait, but it is something like 1 minute 13 seconds (one friend counted as the ride after him went). It is boring and crappy, and the seats are incredibly poorly designed. The ride can be summed up as such: Left Testicle smashed, right testicle smashed, left testicle smashed, right testicle smashed and don't forget the big climax BOTH TESTICLES SMASHED!

Zablocki19 wrote:

I'm curious of how after you were completely terrified from the first roller-coaster, they got you to go on a second? Mad props for conning you on that one ;)

Debby was actually telling me I shouldn't ride another, she was really scared I was going to pass out or something during the first one.

I never got ill from riding either (and honestly, having ridden those two, I think you'd have to be fairly susceptible to motion sickness in order to have a roller coaster make you vomit), rather, the stress of the experience due to my phobia put my body through the wringer, leaving me exhausted after each one for a few minutes.

I wasn't planning on giving a coaster a second shot (Fyedaddy will attest to that), but I wanted to experience a mild one that would give me a real-world thrill sort of like what the F-Zero video games do in a virtual environment. I thought the second coaster was milder than the first, and figured "what the hell, I'll give this whole 'roller coaster' thing one last shot". To Fye's credit, he wasn't really pushing me much to get on another one after the first experience. It was mostly me wanting to see if I could enjoy one.

I thought it was funny that they all thought I was exaggerating about my phobia until they saw the results in action.

kaostheory wrote:

The ride can be summed up as such: Left Testicle smashed, right testicle smashed, left testicle smashed, right testicle smashed and don't forget the big climax BOTH TESTICLES SMASHED!

Marriage: THE RIDE!

I loathe wooden 'coasters. 220lbs of inertia being violently thrown around the little unpadded car is not pleasant.

Properly designed steel coasters on the other hand can be quite fun. Especially if you treat them like a plane ride.

Farscry wrote:

I never got ill from riding either (and honestly, having ridden those two, I think you'd have to be fairly susceptible to motion sickness in order to have a roller coaster make you vomit)...

Perhaps you should have. Especially if Fyedaddy was sitting behind you. And he was laughing hard with his mouth opened.

Yeah, I've ridden the American Eagle, and it's really not at all fun.

Honestly farscry, I think you'd have a better time (less horrifying time) on the metal coasters, that has all those scary LOOKING twists and turns, and flips.

I have ridden a lot of roller coasters and the one and only one that scared the c*ap out of me was a old wooden roller coaster at Six Flags in MD (or was it NJ...).
I was so terrified of the ride because:

1) it screeched and whined the whole time, on top of that, the carts would shake and rattle controllably.... For the whole ride, before every turn, I would imagine the cart flying off the rails and crash...

2) I was pretty small back then, and the hand rail really doesn't fit me too well. So for the whole ride I thought I was going to fly off the cart if I didn't somehow fuse my hands with the hand rail...

Now all the other fancy and scary looking coasters are much much more secure. So the sense of imminent doom won't be with you the whole time.

Actually that reminds me. There was one other ride that I thought was pretty scary, but actually fun as opposed to terrifying, was a water ride that I took (I think in the six flags in MD).

The ride is pretty slow in speed since your boat speed is determined by the speed of the water current. And there are some drops and sharp turns. What made it scary was the fact that the majority of the ride take place in a completely dark "cave." You can't see anything at all.

Unless you've rode the ride many times already, you would have no idea what is coming up next.

Oh and at the end, just when you see the "light at the end of the tunnel" you find out that the light leads you to a sharp and fairly high drop into rails soaked in water, fun times

You couldn't pay me enough to get on a roller coaster.

MaxShrek wrote:

If you're in the NY-Metro, it's time to get on this ancient one. 81 years of omfug:

Yeah, the Cyclone is legendary, but I have never ridden. I was never really impressed by it's appearance. The Thunderbolt in Kennywood is said to be better.

MoonDragon wrote:

Perhaps you should have. Especially if Fyedaddy was sitting behind you. And he was laughing hard with his mouth opened.

That thought crossed my mind several times during both coaster rides and I still couldn't stop laughing long enough to keep my mouth shut.

If its testicular bruising you are looking for, then make a bee-line straight towards Iron Wolf. Stand up roller coasters were a baaaaaad idea.

Ranger Rick wrote:

Yeah, I've ridden the American Eagle, and it's really not at all fun.

I rode it maybe 6 or so years ago and it wasn't too bad.. It wasn't fun (I've never really liked it, Viper is a far better wooden coaster), but riding it again this summer was hell. And to top it off, the damn thing stole my hat.

Grenn wrote:

If its testicular bruising you are looking for, then make a bee-line straight towards Iron Wolf. Stand up roller coasters were a baaaaaad idea.

Oh god. The Mantis, a stand-up coaster at Cedar Point, actually put me out of commission. It was the first time I really got sick (I should say, just nauseated, as many people, for some reason, take "getting sick" to mean vomiting, and I've always considered "getting sick" to just be a general feeling of malaise) and suffered pain on a coaster. If the damn thing had had seats, I would've been fine. Never again.

Farscry, I didn't see it mentioned anywhere, so I gotta ask. You did ride in the front car, right? The unobstructed view is always more fun.

VicD714 wrote:

Farscry, I didn't see it mentioned anywhere, so I gotta ask. You did ride in the front car, right? The unobstructed view is always more fun.

I got the impression that even had he been in the front car, his view would have been obstructed by his eyelids.

nsmike wrote:
MaxShrek wrote:

If you're in the NY-Metro, it's time to get on this ancient one. 81 years of omfug:

Yeah, the Cyclone is legendary, but I have never ridden. I was never really impressed by it's appearance. The Thunderbolt in Kennywood is said to be better.

It's deceiving, the first drop is a butt-pucker.

Several years ago I saw someone have an even worse reaction. The ride was "Jet Scream" at Canada's Wonderland just outside of Toronto. The ride is a reasonably tame rocking pirate ship style ride shaped like a space shuttle. The catch is that it does a full 360 loop. Half the riders face one way the rest sit across facing them. I liked the 2 center rows so I could face people and freak them out when I rode with no hands. (You cant move with harness anyway.)

I got on and 3 girls got on the other side facing me. The middle one clearly did not want to go on. The other 2 tricked her. They were telling her it only rocks. It doesn't go all the way around. Ha! As the ride started she was so tense from fear and started whimpering. The higher it rocked the more freaked she was getting and the more the other 2 laughed.

As we were nearly upside down she was screaming and the other 2 continued to laugh. When it went fully upside down the screaming instantly stopped. I looked straight across. She was OUT! I pointed that out to her laughing friends. Now they were freaking out and shouting to stop the ride. (It was nearly done anyway.) Park attendants called EMS and they carried her off the ride! With friends like that who needs enemies?

VicD714 wrote:

Farscry, I didn't see it mentioned anywhere, so I gotta ask. You did ride in the front car, right? The unobstructed view is always more fun.

Oh HELL no. They would've never been able to get me on the first car. After the first big drop on the Eagle, I actually was able to keep my eyes open for the most part.

My second (and last) coaster was actually one of the smoother steel ones, the Whizzer. I couldn't handle the twisty leaning (and sharp) turns. Too much for me.

If there's one thing I can be happy about, it's that I didn't get motion sick at all. And that as Fyedaddy noted (I never actually saw this) I terrified the sh*t out of those little kids on the second coaster.

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