Going on a date Friday. **(Updated May 3rd)**

Pages

Alright, let me lay out the situation. I am going to take out a fantastic girl Friday night.

I consider myself fairly up to date on most trends and tend to keep away from them since I like to do my own thing, but I have a conundrum. Besides dinner and a cool little coffee shop afterwards I am looking for ideas for things to do.

I am 34 she is 30 and we don't really get into club scene. I have been separated since last July and I had jumped into that relationship from a previous marriage without "playing the field", so my dating chops are a little rusty.

I have thought about a live music venue since we both love the same kind of music, but I am not sure that is good for a first date, especially since it could make talking to one another a little problematic.

Anyone willing to give up any ideas?

And before you say it, "No, Mex."

Coffee is the best first date. It's not a huge deal, gives you a good chance to talk and get to know each other, and you can end it at any time.

I'd even say dinner might be much for a first date, but it's not going to ruin anything.

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, and was in a long-term relationship before hand, so I totally relate to what you're going through. I was way out of the dating scene, too, and the whole thing feels weird at first. Just be yourself and you'll be cool.

Go to the movies and sit to the right of her, place the bag of popcorn to the left of her. Then sometime during the movie ask for popcorn then move your hand close to her at about chest level for a surprise

I think Coffee is good, sounds like you have it all planned out unless you know a cozy bar to hang at.

Coffee is the best first date.

It's a good first get-together, but can it even really qualify as a "date"? Most girls want the guy to put in some effort, to show they have real interest.

I find a good first date is something that, even if you've used it multiple times before, seemingly shows thought but is also pretty much guaranteed to be interesting whether or not you guys have a ton of chemistry right off the bat. It will also make you stick out in her mind. I'm talking about festivals, views of astronomical events, specialized museum shows. Something that you can experience together, but still allows you to interact (ie: not a movie,) taking a bit of the pressure off by shifting the focus just a bit. Once you've found that you can enjoy something together, then maybe go for the 2 hour solid talk-sesh that is dinner. :p

The best thing you can do on a first date, is be in a situation where you can have a conversation. I've done way too many first dates in my lifetime and the ones where it eventually led to action were the ones in which I had at least a couple hours just talking with the girl.

If you go to a movie or see live music, you have to make quick little comments that don't build the relationship. She's not going to go, "Oh, I like him because we saw this great live band together." I've seen live music on a first date probably 3-4 times and each time it killed any momentum we had going into the live music.

A coffee shop is fantastic for a first date. The other recommendation is a good walking area i.e. boardwalk, park, beach...etc. You can easily have a conversation, plus there will be outside visuals that you can comment on. Also I think better while I'm moving so it made my conversations a bit livelier.

Best of luck.

I have thought about a live music venue since we both love the same kind of music, but I am not sure that is good for a first date, especially since it could make talking to one another a little problematic.

Depends on the venue & the music. Heavy metal concert = bad. Acoustic performers at a beatnik coffee shop = good. Of course, that's just my taste in music.

Check out the entertainment section of your local paper (or their website) and see what else there might be to do. Also, it is winter... chicks dig the whole ice skating/hot cocca/cozy by the fire thing.

If you end up near Southpoint, wandering/strolling the outdoor part of the mall has good atmosphere (soft music, benches, public, sculptures, topic starters) and the fountains are fun to play with (the one by the theatre has controls at the 4 compass points that manipulate how high & when the water shoots). The chocolate & ice cream shops are also fun to stop in when wandering. There is no fear of them turning out the lights with all the restaurants right there.

The NC Museum of Art is open until 9 pm that night.

Next Friday, the NC Museum of Natural History is open until 9 pm, but that doesn't help with this week.

Don't forget the ultimate test:

finger ---> butt

I agree with Morrolan. I would never go to coffee as a first date. You need to show her you put some effort in. If this is someone you're excited about splurge a little take her to a nice dinner. Not Fridays or Chilis or Wingers. Not a chain. Be creative. Buy a bottle of wine. After dinner tell her not to order dessert. You've made separate plans. Bring her to you your favorite dessert place. Where you know they have a killer specialty. Afterwards take her to a quiet cigar bar for some scotch and a great cigar.

That's just one idea. Use the outline and plug in your/her interests to ensure you're putting together a creative date that she will remember.

If you take her to a coffee shop, or the movies, or PF Changs...congratulations so did her last 10 dates. Separate yourself from the pack.

FINGER-->BUTT

Hey, someone had to say it.

edit: and clearly that someone was Rat Boy. Curse you, Rat!

By all means avoid anything where you can't hear each other. I also prefer, venues that will not have a ton of foot traffic as I tend to people watch while holding on a conversation. There should be nothing to distract you two from each other. Makes keeping conversation going that much easier, and in my opinion more effective. With no distractions, you really only have each other to ask about so you really get to know the other person.

This isn't some tweeny you're trying to impress, so I would stay away from the flashy, noisy, distracting stuff. At this stage in life it should be all about personality, personality, personality. The Coffee shop is a great idea in my opinion. Make it a place that serves some decent sammiches so you're not rushed to take off if you get hungry.

Also... I consider myself horrible at 'dating.' But I am really good at one on one interacting. Play to your strengths. Entertaining a bored date at a 2 hour concert is harder than maintaining a deep conversation until closing time... to be continued over some fresh-brewed coffee on your Looooveseat.

Edit... Nearly forgot! Have a pack of cards on hand! Learn to play King's Corner. Casually hint at a strip version.

Take her to a bookstore. It has TONS of conversation starters. You can be together but not have to feel the pressure of talking every second of the date. There is usually a coffee place to sit and talk. You can stay there for ever or just drop in for a little while. You can also get dinner afterward and finish any conversations you started in the bookstore. If she finds a book she likes you have two options: 1. Buy it for her then (best if it looks like she is going to buy it for herself anyway). 2. Remember it and send it to her a few days later (shows you really were paying attention to her). Either way, you look like a stud who supports her interests.

edit: All of a sudden, I see why Wordy and I are dating. ::self-identified book dork::

Listen to Rezzy - a first date is about good conversation, not throwing her a three-ring circus. Either she's gonna think you're a neat guy or she's not. Save the fancy dinners and wine for when you're ready to be serious. Just have fun, be yourself, and get to know her a little.

Good luck!

Would be a good idea. I plan to have Logan sit in for me when I am on my honeymoon.

- Legion, taking "keeping it in the family" to a whole new level.

Xbox Live: Fedaykin98

And before you say it, "No, Mex."

Aww, do you have something against rohypnol or what?

Wait as long as possible to introduce them to your Rock Band friends to avoid scaring her away.

Take her to a local sporting event.

Trophy Husband wrote:

Afterwards take her to a quiet cigar bar for some scotch and a great cigar.

If you can hook up with a woman who enjoys that ... well that's just a notch below being as cool if she was a gamer. If you get both, be careful with the rest of your life. Because you just used as much luck most folks get in a lifetime.

Other than that, my own experience tells me that there is no fool proof plan for a first date. Too much depends on what kind of person she is. There are of course, many sound principles to guide you. As already mentioned in this thread. An environment that promotes conversation is great. Money-wise, don't crack into the piggy bank for the first date.

EDIT: good luck!

E Hunnie wrote:

Take her to a bookstore. It has TONS of conversation starters. You can be together but not have to feel the pressure of talking every second of the date. There is usually a coffee place to sit and talk. You can stay there for ever or just drop in for a little while. You can also get dinner afterward and finish any conversations you started in the bookstore. If she finds a book she likes you have two options: 1. Buy it for her then (best if it looks like she is going to buy it for herself anyway). 2. Remember it and send it to her a few days later (shows you really were paying attention to her). Either way, you look like a stud who supports her interests.

edit: All of a sudden, I see why Wordy and I are dating. ::self-identified book dork::

Wasn't this the recommendation in the 40 year old virgin?
Normally I meet the chicas at parties and then end up going to one of the small restaurants around campus with them. Usually doesn't pan out so meh.

Take her somewhere where's live music. A jazz cafe or something like that, ideally. You can have cofee there as well.

Hey, a CDT!

I'm with the crowd on this one, coffee is great. Dining is great. Wandering around looking at art is great. Outdoorsy activities like hiking, snowboarding, and horseback riding also make excellent dates, if you're into that sort of thing. Plus, cold winter weather encourages cozyness.

Good luck, have fun!

I'll go ahead and say it:
* Strip Club, take her to the strip club...
This has multiple advantages:
1) It shows you've seen a woman before
2) It is probably not someplace she has been taken on a first date before
3) If you can keep your eyes on her and not droll all over the "performers" it will show her you are interested in her.
4) If it turns out to not work out, well you're in a tittie bar, I'm sure you'll find something to occupy your attention while your heart heals.

[size=1]*the poster takes no responsibility whatsoever for the contact with the woman in question after taking this obviously humorously intended advice, unless it works, then I deserve the recognition for the genius that I am[/size]

Choose a restaurant or bar, but make it one slightly off-kilter or exotic. I've tried a thai place where you have to sit on those cushions, an Ethiopian restaurant that had good reviews, a "gourmet burger" joint with a hundred different options, and a place well-known for a wide variety of martinis. If you feel like following that up, find some local event, museum, etc. or an outside walk to a different store that you always wanted to check out but never did because nobody else you knew never wanted to go. This accomplishes many things:

1) It shows her that you're into trying out new things and keep an open mind.

2) It lets her know that you have interests and passions outside of work.

3) It automatically gives you a starting point and a fallback to avoid uncomfortable silences (this worked especially well at the Ethiopian restaurant because we both had a kind of food we've never had before to talk to each other about.)

Go camping and bring mushrooms, and not the kind you buy at the grocery store. Or have the date online over xbox live.

Good advice peeps. I do appreciate it.

Except you Mex If they have a version of Jerry Springer down there I wouldn't be surprised if you haven't already been a "guest".

We are going to a cool restaurant that serves Japanese and Thai food, afterwards we are hitting a bookstore, grabbing some coffee and perusing the selections. I entertained the idea of going to the NC museum of art, but I need someplace to take her if there is a second date.

@RedJen:
That mall idea is a good one. I will have to do something like that when it gets warmer again.

@Quintin:
She already knows about you guys. I texted her while we were there last night.

Again, thanks to everyone. I do like ideas for unique places. I definitely like to stand out in a crowd and have had decent luck in the past, but it has been a few years. Heh.

Bring her home and have her watch while you play CoD4 with us online. That'll get 'er hotter than Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute could!

i avoid meals as dates.

Coffee is a good idea , regardless of what others have said. Frankly you don't want to do anything special for her because she's not special yet, she's just someone you met and you MIGHT like. Sitting around a coffee shop talking is the best way to spend a first date because you can find out if you want to bother with a second or third.

cartoonin99 wrote:

I need someplace to take her on the second date.

Jedi Mind-trick fix

kuddles wrote:

an Ethiopian restaurant that had good reviews

They have food at Ethiopian restaurants?

kuddles wrote:

a "gourmet burger" joint with a hundred different options

For the love of God, no. Unless you're comfortable ordering for her. You'll spend the first hour of the date discussing what burger to get. I can't think of a more boring conversation.

Read any and all DDT's, study them, make sure not to do anything Demos has done.

As far as first dates go, I have no clue, in a few weeks, it will be 8 years I have been married/11 years together, so I don't know the first thing about dating any more.

Good luck!

I've had exceptionally good first dates at book stores. You can kinda show off what each of you is into, make recommendations, hit the current events with the periodicals. And you get the quiet areas of the store, the sitting areas of the store, yet more coffee if you need it. It's a very dynamic space.

And, if it's going to hell in there you can get out quick and try something else. It's not like a concert or anything.

It's like special ops in that you have to plan your escape route ahead of time.

Pages