Human Touch

I attended PAX East this last weekend, where I had a phenomenal time meeting phenomenal people who do phenomenal things. This is, to be honest, not a particularly unique kind of experience to have at PAX. The convention — dare I say conclave — naturally engenders a sense of community, and one would have to be stone-hearted and obstinately withdrawn not to at least get an inkling of connection to something greater.

For example, I met Jim Smith (whose name, just to be clear, is not actually Jim Smith). “Jim” is someone I met through podcasty-friend and bon vivant Julian “Rabbit” Murdoch, whose faculties for being a conduit to meeting people are legen— wait for it —dary. I played a rather long board game with Jim, had some great conversations with Jim, made some stupid jokes with Jim and basically made the kind of connection with him that I made with any number of other people at the convention.

The thing about Jim, though, is that he was lead designer on Video-Game-I-Really-Like (again, not an actual name). This was information that I wasn’t able to connect in my head upon introduction, due in equal parts to convention fatigue, alcohol haze and fundamental stupidity, and only realized almost a day after I had been hanging around with Jim. “Not possible,” my internal dialogue exclaimed. “He’s just some dude who’s cool to play board games and make funny voices with.”

And that’s the whole point.

I don’t know a ton of people in the industry, but over the years I’ve managed to accumulate a few connections. And, yes, some of those connections are people who you might recognize by name and whose accomplishments are relatively impressive. Others might not be the sort of person you’d name-drop to get into secret places at E3, but are certainly people whose work and amazing creativity are highly regarded. And of these people whom I now count at least as reasonable acquaintances — with whom I could share a beer and conversation — in not one case did I build that relationship by fawning over their accomplishments and elevating them onto a pedestal.

I bring this all up not just to flaunt what cool circles I run in, but because I am reminded again and again that it’s this humanity that gets lost in the gaming/gamers dialogue. The humanity gets lost not only when we are raking their names through the mud as though they should be hung from their toes for perceived videogame crimes against humanity, but even when we are proclaiming their praises as paragons of gaming. We are, in both cases, turning them into people they are not. In almost all cases, that person you were ranting against last week, month or year as a toxic miasma of gaming failure is actually just some dude trying to do a job.

And, I don’t think we, being either the gaming press or the gaming populace, do a very good job of remembering that. We live in a culture of celebrity, and I guess we want to feel like we’re close to celebrity by making just about anyone who has a remotely public face into one whether they like it or not. But by doing so, we also lose sight of the fact that they are people who take out the trash in their underwear in the middle of the night or sniff the milk jug and make a judgment call on whether it’s spoiled before taking a big swig right out of the carton. I wonder, if we did hold those pedestrian images in our heads when we passed down lofty judgments in either direction, would we be quite so quick to either vilify or deify?

Don’t get me wrong: Everyone likes being recognized and congratulated for their work. There were several people who were kind enough to take a moment and tell me about how much they enjoyed the site, the podcast or even the panel we conducted, and if you don’t think I walked around with an embarrassingly inflated ego for a few days, then you really don’t get me at all. But the thing is, I also feel like I’m never able to really connect with someone who starts the conversation with how great they think this or that thing I did was, because in reality they’re immediately talking to the constructed version of me that is defined by the site, article or episode. They aren’t talking to the version of me that sings “Rain King” on the way to work in my Camry or gets crabby when he can’t find his keys that he totally left right freaking here!

I talked a few weeks ago about how my perceptions, and to some degree my capacity for fiery pulpit thumpers, have changed over the years, and I think this may be part of the reason why. It’s one thing to run some anonymous guy out of town on a rail because the ending of his game completely blows, but it’s another when you know he’s a guy who doesn’t get a lot of sleep because his kid’s got an ear infection, or that he stubs his toe in the middle of the night on that damn ottoman, just like everyone else. The moment you know those things, and you think of people in those contexts, and realize that writing Big Game 5 is just the job he does to keep the fridge stocked and pay the mortgage, it gets a lot harder to feel like you’ve been deeply wounded by some perceived catastrophic failure of talent.

Maybe it means that I’m too close to some of these people now, and maybe there is a damn good reason to keep a distance and judge exclusively on results. But I think we already have more than enough people dispassionately talking as though games were the product of robots. I actually feel the other way, like there aren’t enough people thinking of game designers, developers, programmers, managers and, yes, even PR people as no different from you or I except for chosen profession.

After all, for the most part, they’re just some guy or girl, doing a job.

Comments

Big Game 5 for GotY. I'm calling it now.

Seriously though, another great, timely article.

Except for lumping in PR people. They are evil.

I keed, I keed.

I think a lot of companies would do well by placing a personable face in front of all their PR. Curt Schilling is a great example, especially for me, because before Kingdoms of Amalur, I wouldn't have known him from a bar of soap. But you can tell he's just a guy who really enjoying playing, and now making games.

A lot of the reason I ended up getting Amalur was because of his presence on the forums and his great attitude overall. Cynically, you could argue he's just really good at marketing, but I think it's a lot more genuine than that. It's impossible to not associate the game with him, and it makes it easier to excuse any small foibles.

It makes me wonder, if Bioware had a Curt Schilling of their own, would the Ending Incident of 2012 have been as bad?

I need to put "some dude trying to do a job" on my next business card.

I take the opposite approach. Instead of trying to think of someone great as a normal person on my level, I try to think of myself as an awesome/amazing person on their level. It has varying results. Oh, great article by the way!

Connecting people to products can be a tough position to put yourself in. As a regular consumer, my comments of "this game sucks" or "that game rocks" go relatively unnoticed. But as a member of the gaming media, it must be tough to separate the review from personal feelings.

I know at least 5 guys I used to work with that are now at Bioware Edmonton. I sat through the credits to see their names show up (don't get me wrong, I sit through the credits for every game I finish out of respect for the teams, but this one has special meaning). And I enjoyed the game... quite a lot. The final "pick a hallway" ending kinda sucked, but taken as a whole, the game tells a fantastic story, and I liked that it had a definitive ending to it. I sit through Bioware games and always find myself saying "Man, I wish this was a movie"... In fact, I did the same thing with SW:TOR. I played it to level 50, cancelled my account, said "Cool story" and walked away.

I guess, really, all you can do is be honest with yourself. If a game isn't up to your standards, you have to do what your job requires, and call it out. I may not be in the gaming media, but I'm a game geek/nerd/whatever... I have news readers collecting articles from every game site, I follow a ton of games personalities on twitter, and I have a bunch of friends that ask my opinion on every game that comes out. I would feel terrible if I suggested a game based on a relationship (such as my connection to Bioware) to friends, and they went and blew $60 on a piece of garbage...

-SysErr

Thanks Sean. I think you've summed up why I love GWJ so much in a nutshell. In a sense, I see that as the goal of this place -- connecting people as people, who happen to just dig games. It's why I spend most of my "gaming journo" time actually just trying to connect people I think will enjoy each other's company. As always, you end up being way more articulate about this stuff than I am.

MeatMan wrote:

Big Game 5 for GotY. I'm calling it now.

Journey was robbed!

Redwing wrote:

A lot of the reason I ended up getting Amalur was because of his presence on the forums and his great attitude overall.

Didn't David Gaider (sp?) give an epic level smackdown on the Bioware Social forums a while back when people got out of hand over the crisis du jour? Anyways, I agree that there is something special when the developers are involved in the community on a day to day basis.

Well said, sir.

I totally had my celebrity moment with a GWJ podcast guy - Pyroman (sorry).

It was at Penguincon 2011. I realized that this bearded dude (you had a beard right?) was one of the tiny little voices that come out of my little magic machine. At first I thought how did this tiny person escape my magic machine? Then it came to me. He's THAT GUY.

I've talked to the leader of my country and have met one or two celebrities in my job but I had this image in my head of this guy (like I do of the rest of the podcast gang). And there he was, standing in front of me. I totally gushed and said I love his work (his writing and later his beer making). I think he was confused a little bit, said something, and went back to one of several conversations he was having.

I'm not embarrassed by my reaction. I tend to get excited. I just hope he wasn't too weirded out is all.

NOTE: He was also a gracious dude. At Penguincon 2011 we violated 18 fire codes by blocking a hallway by setting up the Arkham Horror board game. I hung out and asked if there was a free spot but was told it was all full up. Pyroman (sorry I'm blanking on his real name as I write this) asked something and I told him I've been reading about this game since it came out. I never played it before so he gave up his spot so I could sit in.

Well, you're certainly not going to get page views with that attitude, pal. At the very least, I hope you flipped the board over mid-game while lambasting Jim for the sloppy controls in the driving section of Big Game 4.

I feel this, we are all just people, lots of people. I have enjoyed meeting more and more of the goodjer community both the forum goers and the writers/podcasters. I will say my son was very interested in Certis's beard. It is nice to put faces to name, it makes people more real. It is also funny how far off I was in what I thought the people I have only heard looked like.

It's definitely the #1 thing that's changed about my relationship to GWJ and gaming in general over the years. Meeting real people at various cons has turned this from "intellectual conversation" to relationships with real human beings. That's changed me far more than any internet conversation ever could.

Making that connection in your brain between "forum account" and "human being" is far more worthwhile than all the interviews, early betas and cosplay combined. PAX exists for that reason (as does Rabbitcon, Penguincon, and all the S&Ts).

la_Rapiere wrote:

Connecting people to products can be a tough position to put yourself in. As a regular consumer, my comments of "this game sucks" or "that game rocks" go relatively unnoticed. But as a member of the gaming media, it must be tough to separate the review from personal feelings.
...
I guess, really, all you can do is be honest with yourself. If a game isn't up to your standards, you have to do what your job requires, and call it out.

I think this is sorta the opposite of what Ely's talking about. It's not about being honest about games, it's about being realistic about the people who created them. If Big Game 5 really does suck, by all means say it, sing it, shout it from the rooftops. Don't, though, disparage Jim Smith because of your feelings about Big Game 5.

Can I propose that we post this in the Mass Effect 3 Spoiler thread?

Strangeblades wrote:

I totally had my celebrity moment with a GWJ podcast guy - Pyroman (sorry).

... Then it came to me. He's THAT GUY.

Oh yeah. Pyro is totally that guy.

Having been lucky enough to review games and interview developers for the last few years has really changed my perspective on what's important in gaming. The vast majority of devs I've met are intelligent, humble, friendly people who are genuinely excited to share their work, but also realistic about its strengths and flaws. I really hope journalists continue to push for more human interest stories, because dehumanizing is something that happens far too often in this industry. Thanks for emphasizing that point, Sean.

That said,

in not one case did I build that relationship by fawning over their accomplishments and elevating them onto a pedestal.

I'm still a little disappointed I didn't get this treatment. What gives?

nel e nel wrote:

Can I propose that we post this in the Mass Effect 3 Spoiler thread?

I don't think anyone was calling out specific developers until the Bioware post at PA which pointed out that the whole writing team did not get input on the ending debacle... and that post called out who was responsible for those parts.

Stele wrote:

I don't think anyone was calling out specific developers

Tangentially we had the whole debacle with Jennifer Hepler getting harassed over Twitter etc. a few weeks before release...

Michael Zenke wrote:

And sometimes says bad words to kittens. He's a monster.

Saying bad words to kittens doesn't make you a monster, it just means you've lived with one.

I think I'm slowly learning in this department. When I meet people from the Internet, I have trouble knowing what to do or say. But when they're someone I admire, then it's 100% guaranteed stupid will come out of my mouth.

I started to learn this year that such is not the way to go about things, though, especially since my greatest desire is just to sit and talk with these people as if they were normal human beings. One of my favorite PAX moments was sitting next to an Irrational Games QA guy and just talking about video games. I don't remember everything that was discussed, and I'm pretty sure there was enough alcohol in me that I was probably dominating the conversation, but I do know that he said, with a hint of shame, that it was Resident Evil that got him into video games, and I enthusiastically defended him. Then we talked about Resident Evil for a bit.

But I honestly don't remember what was said.

I do know I enjoyed the conversation, though. I just hope he enjoyed it, too.

Don't believe anything Strangle said above. I have it on good authority Allen does not like puppies. And sometimes says bad words to kittens. He's a monster.

ccesarano wrote:

I think I'm slowly learning in this department. When I meet people from the Internet, I have trouble knowing what to do or say. But when they're someone I admire, then it's 100% guaranteed stupid will come out of my mouth.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Yup. I do as well.

At least I didn't scream like a 15-year-old tween girl begging to have Pyroman's baby or something. THAT would have been awkward fer sure.

Strangeblades wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

I think I'm slowly learning in this department. When I meet people from the Internet, I have trouble knowing what to do or say. But when they're someone I admire, then it's 100% guaranteed stupid will come out of my mouth.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Yup. I do as well.

At least I didn't scream like a 15-year-old tween girl begging to have Pyroman's baby or something. THAT would have been awkward fer sure.

I think he'd prefer it if you just dress seductively and talk sexy, but that could just be me.

LarryC wrote:
Strangeblades wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

I think I'm slowly learning in this department. When I meet people from the Internet, I have trouble knowing what to do or say. But when they're someone I admire, then it's 100% guaranteed stupid will come out of my mouth.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Yup. I do as well.

At least I didn't scream like a 15-year-old tween girl begging to have Pyroman's baby or something. THAT would have been awkward fer sure.

I think he'd prefer it if you just dress seductively and talk sexy, but that could just be me.

*scribbles notes*

It's funny how some entertainment industries are so welcoming of fans and others aren't. The big name devs I've met at PAX Prime have for the most part always been pleasant to meet. I'd like to contrast this with my experience working at the Experience Music Project in downtown Seattle. There I met plenty of big name musicians. Some pop stars I met thought they were gods walking among mortals and wanted to keep as much distance from the fans as possible. What was even more more incredible were all the rude members of the "entourage" who thought they were entitled to royal treatment because they went to grade school with the lead singer in a boy band.

Great post Sean! Conventions and get-togethers like PAX are the highlight of my year and I cherish the opportunity to meet all the amazing people that are part of the gaming community. It's a shame there's so few conventions like it.

- Jon

P.S. One day we shall quetht again!

Shalalm baskur, Sean. Shalalm baskur.

jim is the best

TheFox wrote:

jim is the best

No, Fox, you're the best.