'Need to chat'. *DDT* *Dead as a dodo*

It's not that I'm uncomfortable around women, more than I don't particularly want to have a drawn out conversation about this, that, the other and have to listen to the platitudes that go along with them.

I'm not stuck up, either. As the GWJ people who've met me, or even spoken to me online, know I'm very friendly and good fun to speak to. But I'm not tactile - I don't hug people hello or goodbye or that sort of stuff.

I understand your point about not feeling slighted. I agree completely. If I don't dig someone, or they don't dig me, that's fine ; everyone is into different things.

1Dgaf wrote:

It's not that I'm uncomfortable around women, more than I don't particularly want to have a drawn out conversation about this, that, the other and have to listen to the platitudes that go along with them.

I'm confused. A drawn out conversation with platitudes seems like an integral part of this kind of thread. What are you looking for?

Mex wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:

You appear to need a lesson in ladder theorem.

Here you go

Meh, sounds pretty emo. I'm friends with a few women who I have no interest in f*cking.

Stuff like "The Ladder Theory" just makes it worse for everyone involved. Sure, some girls are never going to have sex with you, but there's no need to feel like they slighted you or offended your honor.

Which is readily explained by ladder theory. A few things to note though:

1. I didn't write it. It's been around forever.
2. Like all theories, and regardless of what that guy says, it doesn't handle all situations. No theory is perfect.
3. Well, that's all I've got.

Ultimately, the one point I agree with ladder theory is that there are women in this world who have guy friends for no other reason to keep them as an 'Intellectual Prostitute'. I've experienced it plenty of times. That girl you like, are friends with, and wouldn't mind dating. But she wants to date outlaw bikers who treat her like dirt all the while complaining to you and wishing she could date someone like you. There's also the girls that give mixed signals, track down mutual acquaintances to get you their number, and string you along letting you think you've got a chance. No, I'm not bitter.

And for the record, I'm not even worried about the sex bit. I'm one of those strange folks who follow the whole abstinance till marriage bit. Weird, I know.

Funkenpants wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

It's not that I'm uncomfortable around women, more than I don't particularly want to have a drawn out conversation about this, that, the other and have to listen to the platitudes that go along with them.

I'm confused. A drawn out conversation with platitudes seems like an integral part of this kind of thread. What are you looking for?

I was looking for other people's horror stories.

A drawn out conversation online I can handle. When it's IRL I just get bored and want to play Gears.

Methinks Mex completely misunderstands the Ladder Theory, possibly because (if his stories are true) he's never needed to.

1D, you are of course a fabulous chum, not a stuck up guy. Except possibly in that way that all particularly intelligent guys are somewhat stuck up in the comfort of their own minds about how smart they are, but assume that other people have no idea that they think such things. You've probably got that by the boatloads, but hey, so do I.

1Dgaf wrote:

I don't particularly want to have a drawn out conversation about this

Well, if you get bored, just say "Yeah, I'm bored. Anything else to talk about? No? Bye!". Unless she has bound you with chains made of kryptonite.

Ah, you're really smart, much smarter than I, you'll figure it out. Just take some risks more often

edit: I think the "Ladder Theory" takes an overt "I'm always the victim" view. There's nothing wrong with being "Just friends" as long as you get something out of the friendly relationship (interesting conversation, entertainment, meeting more of her friends).

But this "Ladder theory" only works if the "Intellectual Prostitute" only acts like a doormat and not a person.

edit 2: Oh god don't remind me my horror stories

Yeah, Mex's only horror stories are about having an embarassment of riches. *shakes fist*

I probably come across as a guy that thinks too much, but that's not a problem with this woman. She's f*cking clever. One of the cleverest people I've met, actually.

Thinking about it, that's probably not a good thing.

What's the female equivalent of young, dumb and full of enthusiasm?

1Dgaf wrote:

Yeah, Mex's only horror stories are about having an embarassment of riches. *shakes fist*

I probably come across as a guy that thinks too much, but that's not a problem with this woman. She's f*cking clever. One of the cleverest people I've met, actually.

Thinking about it, that's probably not a good thing.

What's the female equivalent of young, dumb and full of enthusiasm?

California Blonde girl.

AnimeJ wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

Yeah, Mex's only horror stories are about having an embarassment of riches. *shakes fist*

I probably come across as a guy that thinks too much, but that's not a problem with this woman. She's f*cking clever. One of the cleverest people I've met, actually.

Thinking about it, that's probably not a good thing.

What's the female equivalent of young, dumb and full of enthusiasm?

California Blonde girl.

He said enthusiasm, not silicone.

Hemidal wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

There are plenty of stories of men who stay as friends 'just in case something changes'. I'm not interested in being that kind of guy.

We used to call it, "c*ck in a box." In case of emergency, break glass.

I call it a sad little emo boy. Don't be the sad emo tool, 1D.

bennard wrote:

I think we all know there's only one solution . . .

finger->butt

Verily.

Honestly, it takes some work to get out of or avoid becoming the being the sad sack "c*ck in a box."

And I don't know where the idea that he's stuck up came from, but I think he's just British. It's slightly different.

Mex - I think what you're missing about the Ladder Theory is that it's not really supposed to explain the phenomenon of "just friends" or to belittle it - I think it was clearly designed to give men insight into the female mind. If there's a woman you have no interest in dating (etc.), then you really don't need to bring the Ladder Theory into it.

On the other hand, the Ladder Theory gives a man some practical guidance for succeeding with the women that he's attracted to. Namely,

1. Get money/power.
2. Groom yourself.
3. Somehow separate yourself from the pack. Be different.
4. If you're interested, make sure you don't act too interested.
5. If you have some time on your hands and are bored out of your mind, you could cultivate a sense of humor and good conversation. If you wanted to.

1Dgaf wrote:

Yeah, Mex's only horror stories are about having an embarassment of riches. *shakes fist*

Like that time he lost his camera.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Like that time he lost his camera.

I knew posting in this forum would come back to haunt me someday. And I didn't even post my worst stories =P

Moving on...

I think you give too much credit to this "ladder theory", but I'll skip a philosophical debate about it, maybe someday we'll agree

Damn, 1D. How many threads about soft meat are you going to start today?

Dr_Awkward wrote:

Damn, 1D. How many threads about soft meat are you going to start today?

Zing!

I have to admit it's been almost two decades since I've been dating, but I don't remember the ladder theory. Whatever happened to just sleeping with skanky girls when you get the horny? Do young people still do that?

FP wrote:

I have to admit it's been almost two decades since I've been dating, but I don't remember the ladder theory. Whatever happened to just sleeping with skanky girls when you get the horny? Do young people still do that?

Ask Swampy's Mom.

JimmDogg wrote:

Ask Swampy's Mom.

Down at the Ramrod Club?

Always pretend that she has totally hot friends that she's hook you up with if you are cool enough.

Funkenpants wrote:

I have to admit it's been almost two decades since I've been dating, but I don't remember the ladder theory. Whatever happened to just sleeping with skanky girls when you get the horny? Do young people still do that?

Oh, that's covered under Ladder Theory, which says that there are 4 types of women:

1) Women you're into when you're stone cold sober.
2) Women you'd be interested in when drunk, and admit it later.
3) Women you'd be interested in when drunk, and not admit to later.
4) Women you'd gnaw your own arm off to get away from.

And that's basically what a man's ladder looks like.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

Yeah, Mex's only horror stories are about having an embarassment of riches. *shakes fist*

Like that time he lost his camera.

I thought that was his cell phone, we are talking about the police/transvestite incident right?

Nosferatu wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

Yeah, Mex's only horror stories are about having an embarassment of riches. *shakes fist*

Like that time he lost his camera.

I thought that was his cell phone, we are talking about the police/transvestite incident right?

Yeah, I thought that was his camera. Mex did the transvetite steal your phone or camera? Also, I'm bored. Tell us some more stories.

Mex wrote:

I think the "Ladder Theory" takes an overt "I'm always the victim" view.

That's easy to say when you're at the top of the ladder. Mex, you pimp.

Seriously, though, the Ladder Theory is clearly the creation of a jaded guy; though it does nicely quantify many aspects of the male/female cosmic dance.

1D, I'd like to quote the great artistic achievement that is the movie Road Trip:

Old Dude wrote:

You're too much brains, not enough c*ck-n-balls!

Most girls like a nice balance of the two. Depending on the girl, the balance can tip either way. But the important thing is to remember that for almost all of them, it's always somewhere between the two extremes.

To quote another great movie:

Jefe wrote:

Why don't you just take her?

When you want cattle,
you take the cattle.

When you want food,
you take the food.

When you want a woman...

You just *take* the woman.

I don't know about brains, but I'm too much indecision. Now I'm questioning whether I should have asked her out in the first place.

I really don't understand me. I've driven down motorways with my eyes closed, but I'm still scared of returning things to shops.

I'm really, really messy but if I buy a book I'll go examine several copies on the shelf, so I can find one without imperfections or minor creases on the cover.

I need a f*cking hypnotist.

1Dgaf wrote:

I don't know about brains, but I'm too much indecision. Now I'm questioning whether I should have asked her out in the first place.

I really don't understand me. I've driven down motorways with my eyes closed, but I'm still scared of returning things to shops.

I'm really, really messy but if I buy a book I'll go examine several copies on the shelf, so I can find one without imperfections or minor creases on the cover.

I need a f*cking hypnotist.

I do these too (minus driving with my eyes closed, you crazy bastard!)
Normally there's no reason to talk about it.

Dating is just weird, is prone to cause indecision and extreme overanalysis. You sounds like you're second guessing yourself now something fierce - I'd just take a step back from the whole situation. You seemd quite friendly the few times I've played with you (HL2, Gears).
Take a moment and talk with her again when you're feeling composed.

I'm sharing with the group. And I've not mentioned my women's underwear fetish yet.

You're going to sing "Sit on my face" the next time we play Gears, aren't you?

1Dgaf wrote:

I'm sharing with the group. And I've not mentioned my women's underwear fetish yet.

It's not a fetish if you like it on women.

Just give her a call 1D. If you have nothing to say in reply just be silent.

Like in sales, when you get a silence the first person to talk loses.

If you want to cancel the dinner after the conversation be honest and say "I don't think I want to come over tonight. We'll catch up soon."

Either way, settle on whether or not you want to pursue her after this. If you do, do. If you don't, don't. But be civil and stay friendly. A girl friend has other girl friends that could become your girlfriend.

Hemidal wrote:

You're going to sing "Sit on my face" the next time we play Gears, aren't you? :)

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.. I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too...