Out of the Closet

It’s not what you think.

To tell the story, let me begin at the beginning: Christmas Day, 1984. I am 11 years old and my first and only brother has just been born. It is the last Christmas of my childhood in many ways, first of all because for this brief part of my life we are wealthy and second of all because I don’t have to share the holiday yet. The acreage under the Christmas Tree is a testament to consumerism, fat — nay, corpulent — with presents of ridiculous proportions and expense. Between the army of Transformers and Star Wars toys that amass to wage imaginary battle, I have hit pay dirt.

But, the final present is the coup de grace, a large box that has been denied me until the very end. I open it with the copper taste on greedy anticipation thick in my mouth, and I am not disappointed. It is an Apple IIC, my first desktop computer. It is a gift that goes on to define me for the next 25 years as a desktop PC gamer.

Now, a quarter of a century later, all that is about to change.

It’s not what you think.

For the past several months I have been hoarding away incrementally large sums of money for a planned upgrade. It’s been a while – like three years a while – and the time has come to give some love to my long PC gaming addiction.

But recently I was struck with an odd realization. I realized that most nights I got the kids off to bed, almost never with liquor or narcotics. My wife then settled down in front of the television to let the day wash away, while I retired to the dim confines of what passes for our office. It’s barely a room these days, more like a closet where detritus collects and holds secret meetings for equal rights under the baleful glare of unloved books and clothes that don't fit any more. And there I would drop headphones over my ears and immerse myself in nazi shooting or murloc killing until bed and sleep demanded their diurnal sacrifice.

Too often, my wife and I were passing ships in the night. A brief and mournful bleat of a horn on the distant horizon and then sequestered into our equal but separate realities. I have over the past few months grown tired of these dim surroundings. I used to think of it as a sanctuary, but now it feels more like a barrier.

So, I have decided to abandon my desktop and transfer wholly to a portable laptop.

This, I am told, is a decision that scholars of the future will not describe as wise. I am assured by people who like to assure me of things when I am wrong that I will find the tool an unwieldy beast that is not nearly as practical as one might hope, particularly if one is a gamer. I am told that it is an expensive option that marginalizes everything a really good desktop can do. I am told that I will be paying twice as much for half the benefit.

It’s not like I’m buying an Apple, people. As I begin pricing even the upper-mid range laptops, I am shocked to discover that they seem not nearly as expensive as I would have imagined. Hell, I can get a decent enough Alienware rig for $1500, which is obviously more expensive by a third than an equivalent desktop from the same proprietor, but that brings me back to the whole issue of a triumphant return to the living.

I won’t lie, it feels blasphemous to even consider dumping the old standby. I have fond memories of desktop gaming that counterpoint at least a quarter of my life, but that room will still be there should I want to escape. Even if I spend half the time sitting in the same familiar chair, drooling mindlessly to the endorphin firing stimuli of World of WarCraft, laptop plugged happily into my monitor and churning away, having at least the option of breaking free is worth something.

I do not imagine myself a future denizen of the Starbucks glitterati, drinking frapamochas or cappuspressos or whatever the hell that stuff is while writing moody blog posts and ignoring important calls on my iPhone. I’ve just been sold on the idea that maybe being a PC gamer doesn’t mean being a indigent hermit.

Maybe it’s just time to come out of the closet and admit that I’m a laptop guy?

Comments

Lemonaid Stand, mofos!

The Apple IIc was my first computer, too. Or rather it was my father's, which he used for business.

I also had a game called Little Computer People. We would later come to know this game as The Sims.

But enough about me. Elysium, good luck with your screenplay.

I also had a game called Little Computer People.

I have fond memories of that game.

I bought a gaming laptop as my first computer out of college. I didn't use the portability as much as I thought I would, but it was still nice. I could put it on my lap and change angles to get more comfortable, or bring it to the couch to watch TV as I committed genocide against Murlocs. There were a couple of great moments of bringing it to a friend's house and clearing a 5-man dungeon all sitting in the same room.

Then came Bioshock. I picked it up on release day, brought it home, installed it and was absolutely in love with the first 5 minutes. Then came the first BSOD. Bioshock required the DirectX 9.0c beta drivers to be playable, without them, I could play for approximately 5 minutes followed by a BSOD (9 times out of 10 it blue screened as you were loading in to Rapture for the first time). Apparently, mobile video cards do not get driver updates. I was prevented from playing Bioshock while ridiculously hyped. I still haven't been able to recapture that enthusiasm and play a game I know will be amazing.

It is an eventuality you need to be prepared for. There will come a day when you want, nay need to upgrade and you will be left, alone, quietly weeping in a corner as everyone around you goes on and on about the most amazing game you will never get to experience the same way.

I've been a laptop gamer for 10 months now. Forced away from my desktop by a long trip, I went large. My "laptop" is way too heavy and hot for any lap, but it is portable. Battery life non-existent but the only time I'm without a wall socket is on a plane and that's what my iPhone is for.

I have a Dell XPS M1730. 17" wide screen, 1920 x 1200 resolution. 2.8 GHz CPU, 3 Gb memory and SLI 8800M GTX give me the oomph to run FPS. I'm enjoying Fallout 3 right now...

I play most of the time with headphones next to my girlfriend while she watches a movie. What's really nice is the couch or bed is so much more comfortable than the office chair.

I'm seriously thinking about canning my desktop when I get back home.

I'd be interested to hear how you solve the whole mouse/desk issue. I had my computer hooked up to my TV so I could play on the couch, and my biggest gripe was the mouse. It's just made for a desk.

Weird. My wife and I just had that conversation last week, as we both felt like we each went off to do our own thing as soon as the baby went to bed. I suppose some things are universal.

Maybe it’s just time to come out of the closet and admit that I’m a lapdance guy?

Fixed?

Elysium, Elysium, Elysium...... Ely, what are we going to do with you? Eh? I guess at some point we just have to let go and let you make your own choices and mistakes.

But enough about me. Elysium, good luck with your screenplay.

Almost did a spit take, nice one.

This, I am told, is a decision that scholars of the future will not describe as wise. I am assured by people who like to assure me of things when I am wrong that I will find the tool an unwieldy beast that is not nearly as practical as one might hope, particularly if one is a gamer. I am told that it is an expensive option that marginalizes everything a really good desktop can do. I am told that I will be paying twice as much for half the benefit.

I can't imagine who you could possibly be referring to. I just don't consider "quality time with the misses" to be sitting on the couch next to her, playing WoW and burning my nuts off as the laptop heat levels approach the critical mass.

Ask Rob how often he plays games outside of his room on that fancy 3D gaming laptop of his. Hint: NEVER.

If I couldn't have my desktop set up close to my own lovely lady, I would invest in a laptop too. Good call, Elysium!

In our new place, it's roomy enough in the living room that we have the desktops off on one side, and the couch/tv stuff in the main part of the room. Whether we're both on our pc's, or one of us is on the couch reading/tv-watching/console-gaming/whatever and the other is on a pc, when we're doing things apart we're still together. It's a great setup where we can talk while doing whatever.

And at the risk of getting too sappy/Oprah-ey for the discussion, it also ensures we're within physical proximity of one another. In a relationship, it can't be understated how valuable it is to take moments when moving through the room to be able to stop and join your significant other briefly in what they're doing, even if you're only putting a hand on their shoulder while checking out whatever they're reading or watching, and talking to them while doing so if it won't interrupt them too terribly.

I’ve just been sold on the idea that maybe being a PC gamer doesn’t mean being a indigent hermit.

It doesn't - but like Pyro said, its really hard to play games where tight mouse control is essential without a mouse/desk combo.

I have the best of both worlds - my office is connected by french doors into the living room. The french doors are almost always open - so when the girlfriend retires to the living room to watch some buffy and I pop onto the old PC, I often play with the sound off and listen to the show along with her, even if I can't see the tv screen. We'll chat about the show and I'll often pause the game and pop over and watch a minute or two with her. It's just as good as having a laptop on the couch, with all the full-featured goodness of a desktop.

We don't need laptops to stop being hermits. We just need desktop PC's to be allowed to leave the confines of the murky basement or some dim tiny office in a broom closet, and allow your office/PC to be in a more central space in your house. An attractive hardware setup, a nice desk, and a clean space goes a long way in having a PC gaming space that you're not ashamed to show people who come visit.

The problem with laptop gaming isn't the initial cost, which can indeed be quite reasonable when compared to buying a new pc. It's the non-upgradeability. Upgrading my PC with smart purchasing decisions (buying on sale at the best price/value spots) is a relatively small investment - upgrading a laptop means buying a new laptop. To keep up with modern games, that's a lot of money every 3 years.

Certis wrote:

I just don't consider "quality time with the misses" to be sitting on the couch next to her, playing WoW and burning my nuts off as the laptop heat levels approach the critical mass.

Also, this.

The problem with laptop gaming isn't the initial cost, which can indeed be quite reasonable when compared to buying a new pc. It's the non-upgradeability.

I'm terrible at upgrading, in that I just never do it. I built my own desktop twice now specifically to be upgradable, and each time I have not changed one piece of equipment in the entire machine for its life. I just don't want to go fiddling about the fiddly bits.

We just need desktop PC's to be allowed to leave the confines of the murky basement or some dim tiny office in a broom closet, and allow your office/PC to be in a more central space in your house.

With a five-year-old and a nearly one-year-old this turns out to be entirely impractical.

PyromanFO wrote:

I'd be interested to hear how you solve the whole mouse/desk issue.

IMAGE(http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/33510000/33514827.JPG)

Maple Wood Lap Desk with Brown Embossed Pillow

Best accessory purchase I've made in years.

Dysplastic wrote:

...I often play with the sound off and listen to the show along with her, even if I can't see the tv screen. We'll chat about the show and I'll often pause the game and pop over and watch a minute or two with her.

In my house we call this "the back of your head" watching TV since the computer desk is in the opposite corner from the TV. My wife will tease "did the back of your head like that show?" when she's done watching.

My wife and I both have laptops now and I'm rather jealous of my brother's new ASUS gaming laptop. It's definitely meatier and its video chipset is much better for gaming than my early 2008 Thinkpad's chipset, but much like other laptops you are at the mercy of the laptop manufacturer when it comes to upgrading drivers, not the video chipset maker.

I don't think I'd ever go back to a full desktop for myself, but I also think my next laptop in 1.5 years or more will be a gaming machine. There's just too much lost without having that extra ability. As for the mouse problem, I wouldn't want to game on anything but a tabletop or a desk surface. The Lapinator and Mousitizer I have works great for productivity stuff keeping the machine on my lap and not searing me but nothing's good enough for gaming.

Oh and I hate glass tables. The place I stayed at on vacation had a glass dining room table and I had no mouse pad, so I was forced to play Majesty with the thumb-stick (which I prefer to touch pads).

I had thought a bit about a gaming laptop, but like Certis pointed out, spending time with the wife-- far more often than not-- does not involve gaming. At least not PC gaming. We choose to interact with each other when we spend time together (insert cougar growl here), or at the very least she would watch when I play console games with good stories like Mass Effect or BioShock. Essentially, she would watch the "movie" of which I had control over. However, if I ever have my nose buried in the screen of a laptop while she sits on the couch next to me flipping through channels, chances are she would shove the computer out of my lap and start punching me to gain my attention.

{edited for clarity}

To me, the best part about PC gaming in the last two years has been the fact that my PC is silent, by virtue of being in another room separated by 30 feet of cables. Other than that, the distinction between laptop and desktop just doesn't matter so much right now.

I highly recommend the Sager NP5797 that I got my job to buy for me as my work machine.

IMAGE(http://www.lowlaptops.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/sager-np5797.jpg)

GeForce GTX 280M GPU. Very important.

Or, if you want something smaller than 17", go with the 15" Sager NP8662, which has the GTX 260M.

I can completely relate. My wife and I experienced the same sort of passing-each-other-in-the-halls dip in our marriage. And I fell on the same solution - a gaming laptop. I ended buying the Dell XPS M1710, a large, heavy gaming rig. I've spent a lot of time loving it, but lately I'm cursing it. In general, gaming laptops perform well. But there are some issues:

- Gaming laptops do not handle heat well. The biggest problem with mine (which I bought in 2006) is that my video card is overheating and needs to be replaced. I can almost buy a (non-gaming) laptop for what the repair will cost me. And I can't just plug in a different card, just about every component is proprietary to that design. Really the only thing you can upgrade is memory.

- Get a lapdesk or something you place the laptop on while it is sitting on your lap. Otherwise the aforementioned heat will take the decision of having more kids out of your hands.

- Get a mouse, 'cause trackpads don't cut it for gaming.

- I've traveled extensively for my job and I love bringing my gaming rig with me. But these laptops are generally so big and heavy that you can't whip it out on a plane. It does build some muscle carrying it around, however.

Having said this, I love being back in the same room with my wife. It's worth the extra expense of the machine. I also much prefer relaxing in a recliner for my gaming sessions over sitting in an office chair.

My next machine upgrade is just over the horizon and I've been thinking about what I'll do next. Instead of getting another laptop, I'm thinking that I might purchase a 40-50" LCD TV that I could use as a TV and as a computer monitor and then simply use a wireless keyboard/mouse from my recliner. Of course that doesn't solve the problem of who gets to use the TV, the wife for her movie or me for my games. Guess we'll have to do Rock-Paper-Scissors for that.

Good luck with your decision!

I had thought a bit about a gaming laptop, but like Certis pointed out, spending time with the wife-- far more often than not-- does not involve gaming. At least not PC gaming. We choose to interact with each other when we spend time together (insert cougar growl here), or at the very least she would watch when I play console games with good stories like Mass Effect or BioShock. Essentially, she would watch the "movie" of which I had control over. However, if I ever have my nose buried in the screen of a laptop while she sits on the couch next to me flipping through channels, chances are she would shove the computer out of my lap and start punching me to gain my attention.

I think it's fair to assume that different relationships interact differently. Often my wife is doing freelance work on her laptop after the kids are asleep while I'm in a different room tooling around in WoW. We'd like to chat while doing our respective work, but there are walls and doors. And, as pointed above, there is something much more connecting about just physical proximity.

I didn't think I cared about weight when I bought my laptop years ago. I wanted that bigger screen dammit. In the end, though, I more or less lost the ability to use the laptop in my lap, as others have said. I wish I had gone with a smaller screen and just hooked it into a monitor when using it on a desk. Avoid my mistake.

And in two years, enjoy another $1,500 expense.

I have been seriously considering a gaming laptop myself. So far Gateway seems to make the best priced gaming laptops out there by far. The construction quality is supposed to be pretty good and the battery life, when not gaming, is about 3 hours, which is stellar. I like the fact that they keep the screen resolution low as well. Makes the thing a bit more future proof.

Laptop gaming is a nice luxury. Years ago I decided I would move entirely to a laptop, and I stuck to that for a while. You can always hook the thing up to your desktop display and peripherals when you want the full game cave experience.

Ultimately, it comes down to how much you're willing to spend. The laptop not only costs more up front, but it also demands more frequent, more expensive hardware refreshes. If you're OK with spending $1500 every two years or so on a whole new system (or resigning yourself to only playing older titles), it's a great choice.

I wish you luck in your journey out of the den. For my wife and I roles are somewhat reversed in that she is on her computer almost every evening doing grading or preparing for the next day's lesson (anyone who tells you that teachers don't work hard isn't married to one ;)). She has this little roller desk which she picked up cheap at Office Max. She rolls it out and works away on her laptop while half watching whatever I have on TV (which these days is the new Batman game). I would think the same kind of setup would work fine for those cases where mouse control is important.

Although we are both semi-absorbed in what we are doing, it is nice to be in the same room so that we can stop and connect from time to time. Also keeps me from forgetting what time it is and playing until 2AM (which I tend to do on those nights when I'm in the den playing a PC game). Like those above have said though you do have to be prepared for the fact that laptops seem to have a shorter lifespan when it comes to gaming (I'd peg it at 1 to 2 years vs. 3+ for a desktop rig) and it has more to do with drivers than it does hardware upgrades.

As long as you know that you pay more and get less in laptop form, I don't see a problem with it. You're not interested anymore in maximizing your gaming per dollar; you want gaming that fits into your marriage.

You're now solving a different problem, so the standard advice doesn't really apply anymore.

When I made the jump from PC to Mac, I also made the jump from a desktop to a laptop. I've never once regretted it.

WipEout wrote:

However, if I ever have my nose buried in the screen of a laptop while she sits on the couch next to me flipping through channels, chances are she would shove the computer out of my lap and start punching me to gain my attention.

This is exactly how it went down in my house when I tried gaming on a laptop. It seemed like a great idea. Get a laptop and be able to spend time out of my cave. I got a lap desk, a nice bluetooth mouse, and a wireless headset so I didn't have to worry about random wires being in my way if I needed to get up.

I quickly found out that if I were sitting on the couch, generally playing some variation of mmo.... Ok, playing wow. That it was not enough that I wanted to come out and be with my wife. Since I was in the room, I was suddenly expected to comment on whatever crap she was watching on TV.

Needless to say, I didn't really care about what E! News was reporting.

Anyways, it wasn't long before I realized that I couldn't really "game" on the couch. I couldn't actually focus on anything for any length of time before being interrupted. So I packed up my laptop and plugged it into the monitor and returned to the cave. That lasted about a month, then I sold the laptop and built a new desktop tower.

I decided that my living room gaming time would be better spent on console games. I generally play more multi-player internet games on my PC, so the console game allows me to pause and respond without feeling as though the rest of the people I'm playing with are waiting on me. I've started playing more console games as a result. My wife sits happily and resumes her other career of stalking people on facebook and we're both generally happier than when I was trying to play PC games on the couch.

Recently, she has begun to be annoyed by the lack of TV watching so I told her my next idea, two TVs in the room. We'll see how that goes...

I have been gaming with a laptop for almost 2 years now and I have to say I'm going back to the desktop. The laptop was nice but it has zero upgrade possibilities and in the summer months unless your in a air conditioned room the laptop gets too hot to put your hands on the keyboard. Also there are times I would like to play on a much bigger screen.

I hope it works out for you! With all my previous-gen consoles hooked up in our rumpus room, it's often tempting for me, too, to nip back and grind through my backlog every night.

A solution that worked well for me, a non-PC-gamer: most DS and PSP games play just fine without sound. I can sit on the couch with her, absorb a little of what she's watching, pause and have conversations... she gets Gossip Girl, I get my game on, and we enjoy a little physical intimacy.

Of course since she's gotten into some geek television (Doctor Who and True Blood) suddenly we have more viewing interests in common, too!

One important question, though: can you sit comfortably on your couch with your hat on backwards?

If you are left handed, laptop gaming is a pain when you're trying to use a standard WASD setup. I spent a year with both my hands to the left of center and finally bought an external keyboard I could keep to the right of the laptop. At that point, I basically had a tiny desktop that ran too hot.

Does everyone really believe that current laptops will be obsolete in 2 years? It seems to me that video game makers are trying to make their games more accessible, pushing the graphical envelope less, and that system reqs have leveled off somewhat. With the desire to make games cross-platform they have to make sure the 360 and PS3 can handle whatever they're putting together.

Maybe it's wishful thinking (I plan to buy a gaming laptop when Dragon Age comes out) but I imagine a modern laptop will play any game coming out in the next 3-4 years.

Also, as the father of a 1 year old, I'm happy to bring the laptop out on the couch so I can at least have one eye on the little one as we're both playing. That's harder to do if you're stuck in your office.

I've been gaming exclusively on laptops for 3 years now, and I definitely prefer it. I'm using one which is high-end enough for both gaming and other high-end computing, but still portable. I do use the thing in different locations at home, work, and at friends' places. With HDMI outputs, it's even easy to run a big screen and sound system at high quality if you so desire. I've never tried gaming in more public places. I'm generally with other people or doing other things when I go out.

There are certainly problems with the cost (though I see very nice gaming laptops for $1300-$1400 these days), but the other issues aren't so large as they used to be. Heat issues have gotten a lot better, and my latest laptop (ASUS G50) vents enough out the left side that it doesn't bother me. I use a plastic lap-desk for long periods of heavy usage or when I need a surface for a mouse, but the top never gets more than warm.

Driver issues have been a long-standing problem for me, particularly with laptops, but they've gotten better. A couple of years ago it was worse because you generally got old and buggy (at least for newer games) drivers from the manufacturer and they wouldn't update as the chipset provider released drivers. You typically had to go and get hacked versions of the latest ATI or NVIDIA drivers which would install on the mobility version. However, I know NVIDIA at least is now offering official drivers which work with mobility video cards, at least for most laptops (see their readmes). This had made things a lot easier for me.