"Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie" 3 pages

Never had one.

I had one this morning. Now, why aren't I light and fit, damnit?!?

This is the best fanfiction ever.

They ran past the endless row of ticket counters, each one disgorging a stinking, groaning horde of the undead from the luggage loading bays. All around them, other travelers ran screaming, discarding their carry-on bags and John Grisham novels in the attempt to faster flee the shambling apocalypse that followed.

"There!" Vince shouted, and elbowed his way through the panicking mass toward a door marked "Employees only."

"We can't!" she screamed. "We aren't airport personnel! Those facilities are intended to assist in the smooth functioning of the airport and providing an enjoyable travelling experience for all customers! It would be inappropriate to use them for our personal convenience!"

"Did your brains already get eaten, woman?!" Vince screamed, and kicked the door in. Beyond was darkness and the faintly threatening mechanical drone of luggage conveyors. He went in.

"Oh," she moaned as the gnashing zombie mob slowly closed in on her, "I sure could use the sweet burst of healthy energy that a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie provides right about now."

Brennil wrote:

"Did your brains already get eaten, woman?!" Vince screamed, and kicked the door in. Beyond was darkness and the faintly threatening mechanical drone of luggage conveyors. He went in.

"Oh," she moaned as the gnashing zombie mob slowly closed in on her, "I sure could use the sweet burst of healthy energy that a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie provides right about now."

"LaGuardia" thought Vince..."Always with the damn zombies..."

The darkness in the conveyor room swallowed them up as the undead horde slowly staggered forward. "Get on the belt!" he yelled while grabbing the young woman by the waist..."so smooth, so supple..." he thought. it reminded him of an earlier time...that day...breakfast. No time for that now he told himself. Now was a time for action, not pondering the nutritional goodness that coated his nervous belly.

They both jumped on the conveyor belt and rode it as it ascended to the unknown. Just as they were about to clear the flaps, disaster struck. Vince felt the young woman scream, and gasped as he noticed a zombie clinging to her ankle. "Take my hand!" He almost shrieked it. His nerves were coming to a boil. He tried desperately to pull her up, he was just inches from grabbing the entrance to the next room. To safety, at least that was the hope.

Just when Vince thought he couldn't hang on any longer, and started to fell the inevitable slip down the belt. The flaps burst open, letting in a blast of sweet, fresh air...not unlike the blast of sweet fresh fruit he had tasted earlier, when he drank that Dannon lite and fit smoothie. He could see a silhouette through the light as someone yelled "Take my hand!" ...

"You know," Vance said, "I get the feeling we're going to be doing a lot of running from zombies."

"Well, duh...That's what we do. We're the protagonists in a zombie/Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie fetish story."

"I know that's our job, but I don't want to do it. I want to drink Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothies and make sweet creamy love to you, baby. I won't let a little undeath stand in the way of our good time."

"You mean you'd become a zombie just to spend more time with me?" she asked.

"Exactly."

"Do you even know my name?"

Vance paused and looked back through a page and a half of collaborative fanfiction. In three places he had to scrape off crusted up, but still delicious, Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie to read the text underneath. "I don't believe I do. How odd."

"My name is Leni Riefenstahl!" she shouted, confident that the ears of all the zombies in their immediate proximity had already rotted off. "And I will not taint the vital fluids of my species with that of the undead or their collaborators." Then she kicked Vance in the balls repeatedly until he fell over with his head scraping against the unsanitary edge of the conveyor belt for Carousel Eleven and crept off to make her own way through the undead-infested terminal.

I like how Vance turned to Vince, stayed Vince, and turned back to Vance. This guy's like Jack Bauer! A fruitier, smoothier Jack Bauer.

Just thought you guys should know that this guy IMAGE(http://www.sophisticated-sounds.com/pictures/vince4.jpg)
is your protagonist

I warned you all that this was an unholy endeavor, as soon as Vince Vance was involved the world was doomed to the undead.

Dannon Light 'n Smoothie makes a good lubericant. Just saying.

I refuse to contribute to this thread.

But ... but ... you can't kill Vance/Vince! You bastard!

Alien13z wrote:

"You know," Vance said, "I get the feeling we're going to be doing a lot of running from zombies."

"Well, duh...That's what we do. We're the protagonists in a zombie/Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie fetish story."

"I know that's our job, but I don't want to do it. I want to drink Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothies and make sweet creamy love to you, baby. I won't let a little undeath stand in the way of our good time."

"You mean you'd become a zombie just to spend more time with me?" she asked.

"Exactly."

"Do you even know my name?"

Vance paused and looked back through a page and a half of collaborative fanfiction. In three places he had to scrape off crusted up, but still delicious, Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie to read the text underneath. "I don't believe I do. How odd."

"My name is Leni Riefenstahl!" she shouted, confident that the ears of all the zombies in their immediate proximity had already rotted off. "And I will not taint the vital fluids of my species with that of the undead or their collaborators." Then she kicked Vance in the balls repeatedly until he fell over with his head scraping against the unsanitary edge of the conveyor belt for Carousel Eleven and crept off to make her own way through the undead-infested terminal.

Vince snapped out of his deranged reverie as a gloved hand grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him into the baggage area. A group of men, and a woman he had never seen stood before him in military uniform. But where a Unit Crest or a nation's flag would've been, they had the Dannon corporate logo.

"Wh... Who are you?" Vince stuttered?

"My name is Seargeant Apone. This is Corporal Hicks, Private Hudson, Private Vazquez, and Bishop. We've been sent here to save you and Mrs. Harlow from the Zombie infestation, thanks to your continued purchase of fine Dannon-brand products." The man stood tall, ebony-colored, the burning end of a cigar jutting proudly from a face cut from stone. He was manly. Manly in a way that cannot be expressed. Manly in a way that only those who drink Dannon-brand smoothies can achieve.

"This is bad man! Game over man, game over!" Hudson exclaimed.

"Stow it private! Have a Strawberry smoothie and get your sh*t straightened out. We've got people to save."

"Wait, wait, wait..." Vince said, suddenly realizing where he had seen her before. "Ms. Harlow? Like Jean Harlow? The Original Blonde Bombshell?"

"Indeed." Jean said, stepping towards Vince and taking his hand.

"I thought you died decades ago."

"So did hte rest of the world, but the Dannon corporation took me aside, introduced me to their invigorating Smoothies, that have kept me at the peak of my beauty since then. I have lived hidden among the populace, a special smoothie agent, spreading the widsom of Dannon to the masses as best I can. But now... I fear, with this Zombie outbreak, we may not be able to help enough people."

Their hands clasped together, fingers intertwined like the mixture of yogurt and fruit in a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

Suddenly, Hicks yelled, turning and firing his weapon towards a mass of lurching zombies.

"They're coming out of the walls! They're coming outta the goddamn walls, we're f*cked!" Hudson screamed, firing his weapon into the shambling hordes.

Sergeant Apone swung into action, blasting a rifle grenade into the horde of zombies, sending bits of gore and clothing from Filene's flying. "All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Smoothie corps! A day in the Smoothie Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! Every Smoothie helping you create a customized meal and excercise plan and keep you balanced while creating a healthy substitution for favorite temptation! I LOVE the smoothie corps!"

All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Biscuits and Gravy?

fixed for my own amusement.

Jim had just finished a quick workout. He was still swirling in the warm after glow of the surprise over night visit from his wife. His skin still tingled from the touches and caresses from his wife. His heart and soul had been replenished from the few hours they had spent together.

From inside the locker his cell phone started to ring. Dropping the gym towel to floor he struggled to get to his suit pocket and answer.

"Hello"

"Hey Jim, it's me Brian. You gotta sec"

"Year, bare with me though, I'm just getting dressed after my workout."

"Look I need to talk to you, in person, it's important."

"Brian, I really don't have the time, I still have to pick up Kaylee from the sitters"

"Jim, give me 5 minutes. I am just around the corner from the gym, meet me at the yogurt bar"

Click the phone went silent.

Brian finished drying off and pulled his suit back on. He was a little concerned about the phone call he had just received, not that getting a call from his best friend Brian was weird, but there had been a tone, a subtle hint of a problem in Brian's voice.

He exited the change room and walked over to the yogurt and fresh fruit bar, around him the patrons of the gym were sipping all natural, green wheat sprout, puréed smoothies. Jim sat down an ordered a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

A minute later Brian entered the bar and sat down beside Jim, he had a haunted pained look to his face, his cheek muscles drawn, and an angry set to his jaw line.

"Hey buddy", Jim said.

Brian looked at his old University dorm-mate. He was angry, bitter and sad all at the same time, sad at knowing he was about to shatter his best friends world, bitter that he was the one who had to deliver the message, angry at what he had seen.

Brian looked straight into his friends face, "Jim, I'll get straight to the point, I am not going to sugar coat this at all. Last month, before your wife left I happened to see her at that new hip yogurt shop over on the other side of town"

"Big deal" said Jim, "she goes there all the time. It is the best place in town to get a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothies."

Brian looked down at his shoes for a moment, paused for a moment "Yeah I know, look this is going to be hard on you, but when I saw her there she was drinking a Yop".

And in that moment Jim's life crashing down, crashing and splattering across the hard tiled floor of reality, just like the bottle of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie that had just slipped from his grasp.

My name is Vance.

Thursday was a good day. At first. I was on my way to Seattle for a meeting with a client. A big client. My big client. I was finally making it to the big leagues. My promotion would be waiting for me back at home, all tied up with a corner office and a company car, wrapped up in a bow.

I was waiting for my plane to start boarding. I'd just eaten a Clif Bar and was poring over my charts, making sure all the "I"s were dotted, "T"s crossed, when I saw her.

She was pretty hot. Her hair was light and her clothes fit her like she was born in them. She had that "FF" look, like she'd just come to the airport from a tryst with a lover. Make that husband, I corrected myself as I spotted the ring on her finger. For some reason that gold band made her even hotter. I had to have her.

I sidled over to her, made some meaningless chit-chat about breakfast and we were off. It didn't take me long to win her heart, but then I've always been a fast closer. We were in the early stages of "making it official" when the zombies came.

Yeah, that's right. Zombies. I could barely believe it myself. Lost my cool, in fact. The living dead were feasting on flesh all around me and I panicked. I didn't want the girl to see it though. I mean, the world was coming to an end, but I felt sure I could bag her if we found some place quiet.

I took off for the baggage area and the girl followed me. But something happened in there. She wasn't who I thought she was. She was stronger than I was. The zombies, I dunno, maybe that awoke something inside of her. Maybe a mother thing. Who the hell knows. All I know for sure is that the second before she kicked me in the face, striking off to face the hordes of undead on her own, she'd become more desirable than any woman I'd ever known. I wanted to have her more than before. More than I'd ever wanted any girl. In fact, I wanted her to have me. Own me. Dominate me.

Now she's gone and I'm in a truck with a bunch of characters who look like they fell out of a science fiction movie. They claim to be commandos, working for a yogurt company. Yeah, this story just keeps getting crazier. But it's my story. And no matter what these jackoffs think, we're not hunting zombies. We're hunting her. I just wish I could remember her name.

**edited: post coffee realizations.

Lobo wrote:

It was then that the zombies chose to attack.

You rock on toast.

Greetings! My name is Phillip Scuderi, and I am a member of a website community called Gamers With Jobs, located at http://www.gamerswithjobs.com. Gamers With Jobs is a community-based website with a very lively forum section. I just thought I'd mention to you fine folks at Dannon that some of our members, myself included, have jointly composed a fan-written fiction ("fanfic" in 'Net parlance) concerning one of your product lines, that being the Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie. The following hyperlink will take you to the first page of the fanfic, which is interspersed amid continuing discussion of Dannon's market ventures: http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/node/2...

The origin of the fanfic is this: it turns out some of our community members really like southern biscuits with homemade sausage gravy. And when I say they "like" them, what I mean is that several of them have gone on record as claiming that they would rather have biscuits and gravy in the morning than bacon and eggs. That should give you an idea of just how serious we Gamers With Jobs can be when it comes to our breakfast foods! In any case, it turns out that a select few Gamers With Jobs enjoy a delicious Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie in the mornings, instead of a plate full of saturated animal fats. At their insistence, we have endeavored to give Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie the kind of fanfic recognition it deserves.

Here are a couple of choice excerpts from our ever-growing fanfic:

"She had silently come into the apartment; slipping her clothes off as she approached the bed, making just enough noise to wake me up. As I opened my eyes I thought it was just a dream as the moonlight cascaded across her skin, as soft and pale as a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie." (Garrad)

"But a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie is not dyspeptic, and my wife, her gastrointestinal tract riddled by six weeks of nervous tension, a foreign diet, and an assemblage of microbes hitherto unknown to her pale Canadian sensibility, was. The dream rapidly devolved into a nightmare. A sticky brown triple-orifice-evacuating vomitorium of a nightmare." (Alien13z)

"She sighed and melted into his embrace. The two became one. Like yogurt mixing with milk in a bottle of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie." (Fletcher)

"She looked down at the stomach. Its thick membrane had been punctured by gnashing teeth, allowing the contents to spill out. Oozing out of the bloody sack was a viscous, white sludge, and suspended in it were dainty pieces of delectable fruit; Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie, set loose from its digestive confines by the eager maw of a dead man." (Lobo; that's me, by the way!)

"He imagined her bringing it to her lips, tasting the first drips of Strawberry on her tongue. She would consume all of its daily value of Riboflavin, Vitamin C and Potassium, before finally finishing it off, tossing the empty, discarded bottle aside, dabbing a spot of smoothie from the side of her lips." (Prederick)

And there's much more to be seen! We hope that you are pleased by your customers' enthusiasm for your product. In addition, should there be any aspiring writers on your staff, we at Gamers With Jobs would welcome any constructive criticism you may have. Registration at Gamers With Jobs is free and open to everybody.

Thank you for your time,

--Phillip Scuderi

I'll let you all know if I hear back.

Like most humans, Vance had his own complex array of irrational fears. When he was young he had set a bait trap for an unsuspecting bird - trapping the helpless creature under a box rigged to fall with a calm snap of his wrist. He remembered the way the cardboard box which had once housed Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothies had shuffled about on its own as if possessed. Since that time, he had always wondered if some other creature was just waiting to bait him, and watch him struggle, trapped in a box. Haunted by this fear, Vance had always avoided narrow and closed spaces - the developing claustrophobia had even lost him a job as a mechnanic when he was a teenager.

The thing about irrational fears is that once they take hold of you there is little reason can do to disaude you from a course of further irrationality. Vance realized, as he looked about the airport, that he had finally been trapped in his long expected box. His Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie box. And it was filled with zombies.

Sitting in the back of the truck with a squad of yogurt-commandos sat Vance. He plunged his head into his hands as he realized that without her his life was now empty, as empty as a discarded Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie container. As he raised his head to cry out in agony to the heavens he saw it. Immediately Vance realized how to win back the love of his life. He leaped out of the back of the moving truck and sprinted through the doorway of his salvation.

The lady behind the counter could sense that there was something wrong with this man who had just barreled through the door. She timidly asked him, "Can I help you?"

Vance, with all the desperation of a man who had spent three weeks in the desert without a Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie anywhere in site, replied, "Give me twenty orders of biscuits and gravy. To go."

A short while later, Vance exited the diner, pressing his bag of breakfast deliverance against his chest like he had earlier done with what's-her-name. Part one of his plan was now in place, but now, transportation back to the airport was the problem. On the verge of abandoning all hope, he spied the airport shuttle, unlocked with the keys in the ignition. Vance hopped in the drivers seat and sped back toward the airport. He saw her even before he had come to a complete stop.

There she was at the baggage carousel and she was almost out of time. Four zombies had trapped her between the carousel and the wall. She was inches from becoming an appetizer. Vance sprinted into the terminal and shouted, "Eat Southern death, you zombie bastards!" and hurled two sausage-gravy covered buttermilk biscuits at two of the undead. The zombies, who were clearly of Canadian origin, and had never been exposed to a breakfast such as this, thereby having no immunity to it, immediately dissolved upon impact. In the same fashion, Vance quickly disposed of the two remaining walking dead surrounding the love of his life, whatever her name is.

Vance approached the woman, still amazed by her beauty, despite being assaulted by zombies. He gently stroked her cheek and said, "You're safe now."

"This doesn't change anything!" she countered. "You still don't remember my name!"

As she turned to leave, Vance was blessed with the revelation of his life and shouted, "Your name is Leni Riefenstahl!"

Leni turned toward him and silently stared for what seemed like an eternity. She then leaped into his arms and kissed him with unbridled passion.

Coming up for air, Vance suggested, "My love, let's go get a couple of Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothies."

Far, far way from Vance, someone else was in the middle of his own nightmare.

Tired, broken, emotionally exhausted - the young man knew he was going to die. He couldn't fight his any longer, his weapon was gone and he was losing blood quickly. Trying to keep himself steady just made things worse.

Was this it? Would it all end here? What about his old teacher? What about her? It was too late. Unless he complied - unless he betrayed his own people, he was going to die.

So. Death it had to be. He thought back to happier times - laughing with his parents in the sun, hunting his with friend. He thought of the what had been taken from him - that loss with had encompassed his life: the day his Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie had been taken from him.

His tormentor loomed over him. Gigantic, oppressive. Implacable. And he spoke.

"No Luke - I am your smoothie!"

Coming up for air, Vance suggested, "My love, let's go get a couple of Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothies."

"Not so fast!" Vince shouted.

Vance spun around, fury in his eyes. "So, you've returned, my especially evil twin."

"Yes!" Vince's hands were behind his back and he slowly brought one around to show Vance what he held. "And I have your Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie!"

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!"

oldmanscene24 wrote:

Leni turned toward him and silently stared for what seemed like an eternity. She then leaped into his arms and kissed him with unbridled passion.

Coming up for air, Vance suggested, "My love, let's go get a couple of Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothies."

====================

Well, that was twenty years and 7 kids ago, and if that don't take the culture out of your Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothies, I don't know what will.

We moved to Reno, she changed her name, and we got married by a justice of the peace who'd just finished a three-martini lunch to wash down his 5-beer breakfast. We didn't have much; just a bunch of memories we didn't want and a passion that burned hotter'n a still on Sundays. We wallowed in each other, and for a time, that was enough. It wasn't all smooth, though; we started to hit rough spots like a surprise whole strawberry in your smoothie. More and more we grated instead of clicking, until it seemed we run out of yogurt and hit pure fruit on the bottom.

We were dumb; we were kids - and I didn't need to say that twice. We figured, like so many young couples before us, that babies would make the difference, that bringing in a new life would fix the old ones we had, and it worked, for a time. Things'd be good between us again, and when they'd go sour, well, we'd have us another kid. The good times got shorter, though, and the rough times got harder. I think the breaking point hit last Tuesday after I got home from shift.

I walked into the kitchen, and she was drinking another man's Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

Damn, Chump. Something you want to tell us?

he's in denial. for years I kept telling him those were yogurt stains on her blouse, yogurt stains on her dresses, but no, he kept arguing... she just dripped some cream cheese from her bagel. No it was sour cream from her nachos at lunch.

And that time we found her in the backroom with the Janitor, yeah sure she was just holding his Dannon, she never actually drank any...

he refused to see the truth.

Chumpy wrote:

I walked into the kitchen, and she was drinking another man's Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

A cold breeze ruffled my salt-and-pepper hair, but it was the Smoothie, not the cool air, which chilled me to the bone.

"No..." My breath left me slowly as I took in the situation. "This can't be..." I stuttered.

She looked so innocent holding his Smoothie that my anger almost melted away and I thought back to that time twenty years ago when we...the realization hit me like a ten-ton Smoothie. Twenty years ago! I could still make it different if only...

My thoughts in a flurry I burst into the basement, leaving Leni stunned in shock. Here, in the basement, was my secret life's work. Why, having just completed it so recently must surely be a sign that this path was the one Fate had put aside for me.

Locking the Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie into the placeholder at the core of the machine, I sat down into the old armchair and waited. The probes tickled the yogurt, and I felt the hair on my arms stand on end. Would it work, I thought curiously?

The room fell away from me. The blood rushed to my head along with my stomach. The machine had done something. As abruptly as it had begun, the sensation ceased. I had succeeded. I was at the airport...twenty years ago.

The walking dead lurched about, and I saw young Leni surrounded by the ravenous corpses. Turning slightly I saw myself - how strange! Like looking into a mirror which transmitted through time and space, I almost raised my left hand to see if my young counterpart would respond with his right. Of course, it didn't matter. Coming up behind the distracted young me I snapped his neck like a twig. I wouldn't allow him to make the same mistakes I had. Twenty years I had prepared, and my muscles were tone, and my martial arts skills perfected. I tore the zombies limb from limb as they tried feebly to turn carnivorous jaws on me. I grabbed young Leni by the hand (oh, how beautiful and soft she was back then) and pulled her to her feet.

"Come with me if you want to live."

Now If Vance killed his young self, would not he have winked out of exsitance at that very moment? Or would he just shift to being Vince and carry on?

Badferret wrote:

Now If Vance killed his young self, would not he have winked out of exsitance at that very moment? Or would he just shift to being Vince and carry on?

Old Vance wrote:

Suck on that, Causality!

Badferret wrote:

Now If Vance killed his young self, would not he have winked out of exsitance at that very moment? Or would he just shift to being Vince and carry on?

Such is the capacity of a Dannon Light n' Fit Smoothy, my friend. Let alone the accumulated power of two decades worth!

Dr_Awkward wrote:

Such is the capacity of a Dannon Light n' Fit Smoothy, my friend. Let alone the accumulated power of two decades worth!

The amount of D LnF S in his body over that period protected him from the destabilizing effects of the grandfather paradox...or a version of it anyways.

I don't mean to be a buzzkill to all of this fun, but I just saw this on CNN and thought it was related:

Bush, Merkel united on Iran's Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie threat
They ask other nations to join opposition

(CNN) -- President Bush and German Chancellor Angela Merkel called on nations around the world Friday to join in opposition to Iran's Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie activities.

"Iran armed with a Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie poses a grave threat to the security of the world," said Bush at a joint appearance with Merkel at the White House.

The EU-3 nations of Britain, France and Germany -- which have negotiated with Iran in hopes of reaching a resolution -- together with the United States must work to persuade other nations to join their stance, said Merkel.

"And we will certainly not be intimidated by a country such as Iran," she said.

Bush said their meeting was part of a "proactive" diplomatic effort to determine how best to confront Iran over its fledgling Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie program and "lay the foundation for peace."

Sidestepping a question about whether he favored sanctions, Bush said, "I'm not going to prejudge what the U.N. Security Council should do. But I recognize that it's logical that a country which has rejected diplomatic entreaties be sent to the United Nations Security Council."

"The current president of Iran has announced that the destruction of Israel is an important part of their agenda, and that's unacceptable," Bush said. "And the development of a Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie, it seems to me, would make him a step closer to achieving that objective."

On Friday the British Foreign Office said all five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council, along with Germany, will meet Monday and Tuesday to discuss the Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie standoff with Iran.

Senior officials from the EU-3 nations will attend the meeting along with representatives of the United States, China and Russia, the foreign office said in a written statement. All but Germany have veto power over any resolutions.

The meeting will focus on the language of a Security Council resolution that would not draw a Russian or Chinese veto, the statement said.

The United States has welcomed the EU-3's call for the International Athletic Energy Agency, the U.N. Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie watchdog, to refer the issue to the Security Council.

In response Friday, Tehran threatened to block inspections of its Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie sites and stop working with the IAEA, if such a scenario occurs, Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki said.

The move reflects a law passed by Iran last year.

Frustration with Iran builds

The meeting between Merkel and Bush coincided with Russia's appeals to Iran to resume its moratorium on Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie activities and cooperation with the IAEA.

As well as possible economic sanctions, there have been calls for cultural and sports boycotts, including banning Iran from soccer's 2006 World Cup in Germany.

France said Friday that it favored a step-by-step approach over Iran's contested Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie program and that any sanctions request at this stage would be premature.

Despite the threat of U.N. referral, Iran has vowed to press ahead.

"Unfortunately, a group of bullies allows itself to deprive nations of their legal and natural rights," The Associated Press quoted President Ahmadinejad as saying.

"I tell those superpowers that, with strength and prudence, Iran will pave the way to achieving peaceful Dannon Light "˜n Fit Smoothie energy," he said. "The Iranian nation is not frightened by the powers and their noise."