Metagame

Groggy-eyed and pie-shaped, I blunder into the kitchen. I have eyes only for the blinking red light on the coffee machine. I have not showered. I have not dressed. I am a lumbering arabica-bean detector. By the time I turn around from the counter, the single sip of coffee has returned me to humanity, and I see my daughter sitting at the kitchen table. Or rather, I see who I assume is my daughter -- her head is completely concealed by a book as she absentmindedly slurps Puffins-and-milk.

The book is the Dungeons & Dragons Players Handbook.

It was perhaps the proudest moment of my life as a parent.

My adult life has been a process of delayed gratification. Once upon a time, I thought I'd retire and get caught up on a life of sloth and gluttony. But as it's become clearer and clearer that I will work until I'm dead, I've been trying to figure out how to maximize my escapism, rather than planning a second lifetime of leisure. My life has become a min-maxing exercise in delayed gratification.

My daughter, on the other hand, has seemingly endless resources with which to plumb the depths of the race-class array.

"I'm totally playing a Half-Elven Wizard," she declares.

"Really? Why?" I ask. I've always considered half-elves to be a bit of a pansy choice.

"Half-elves are great. Just ask Elrond."

The logic is irrefutable.

Several days pass. A random trip through Barnes & Noble leaves me with a copy of the Players Handbook 2, which I can now justify as a "gift." She disappeared to her bedroom with it, ignoring bedtime rituals -- no kisses on the hands, no tender bedside moments. Just a hurried 'I love you daddy' and a race for the reading lamp.

Morning. Father, stumbling towards coffee. Daughter, buried in book and cereal. "I changed my mind Daddy," she informs me, with a voice that implies she's renegotiated the Kyoto protocol while I was inconsiderately sleeping.

"About what sweetheart?"

"Gnome Bard. I'm totally playing a Gnome Bard."

"Really? Why?" I ask. I've always considered Gnomes to be a bit of a practical-joke race, and Bards to be be one of those almost-but-not-quite inventions of D&D.

"Well, gnomes are cool -- they can just sort of disappear out from underfoot. And bards can sing people to death."

"Really?" I haven't read the PHB2. I walk behind her and read over her shoulder. It turns out a first level bard in D&D fourth edition can in fact sing someone to death.

"Huh. Cool."

For the next thirty minutes we sit side by side, digging into the important stuff: Law vs. Chaos, the questionable parentage of the Half-Orc, the unspeakable importance of the ten-foot pole. I regale her with the death of my first character at the hands of a hill giant. I sing the praises of the Tomb of Horrors. She's startled to learn that the game has changed at all since I was 11, and seems both saddened that she's not walking directly in my footsteps, and excited that she's on the cutting edge.

Someday soon, we will sit across the long, felt-covered table in the basement. She doesn't know it yet, but the Lich who sits on the onyx throne will come out of hiding from the top shelf in the back corner of my office again. Her first level gnome bard will be no match, but the Lich will have better things to do. He will utter an epithet and depart in a puff of smoke, leaving minions to deal with the minor threat. Perhaps he will torment her for years to come. Or maybe the next day, my little gnome will discover boys or rock-climbing or astronomy or Britney Spears, and I will have to discover if the acquisition of lipstick will truly bar her from re-entering our own, private Narnia.

It won't matter.

Because it's the metagame that's the important part. It's the conversations about playing, about gnomes and bards, about the games of the past, and about the games we hope to play.

"Daddy, can we play right now?" she asks. I look at the clock. 8:05.

"Sorry sweetheart, you have to go to school." She looks despondent. Her eyes drop to the equipment list, where she's been considering the merits of ranged weapons.

"That's ok," she says. She gets up from the table, and puts the book in her school bag. "I can start working on her background in class."

Prodigy.

Comments

You OK! I learned it from watching you. sob sob sob

"That's ok," she says. She gets up from the table, and puts the book in her school bag. "I can start working on her background in class."

Prodigy.

Your wife is very cool to be so supportive, too.

Aww...that is so sweet. I hope I have a conversation like this with my daughter one day, much to the chagrin of my fiance I'm sure.

If I ever have a kid, I want one like yours.

rabbit's little bundle of awesome wrote:

"Gnome Bard."

Good girl.

I've never considered gaming as a kind of heritage, but particularly with PnP gaming, there is a sort of indoctrination that has to occur. Interesting thought.

In any case it's wonderful you've found something that brings you together like this.

That was the way to start the day.

Thanks.

Playing D&D with my 11 year old son has been great. He has a huge Dragon kick going on right now, so he pooled his gift cards and bought himself the Draconomicon. Then, just because he appreciates me running his characters in adventures, he also bought Open Grave for me. It's just so fun having a kid into the things you enjoy.

"Sorry sweetheart, you have to go to school." She looks despond ent.

"despond ent" Typo? Or clever Tolkien reference?

I, too, hope my two year-old daughter grows up a geek and a gamer. My wife is not a natural geek, but finds it amusing/fun to play along. I send her links to your posts like this to prove that I am not alone in my wishes for a geeky girl. Thanks for writing them.

Atras wrote:

Playing D&D with my 11 year old son has been great. He has a huge Dragon kick going on right now, so he pooled his gift cards and bought himself the Draconomicon. Then, just because he appreciates me running his characters in adventures, he also bought Open Grave for me. It's just so fun having a kid into the things you enjoy.

I'd love to hear what you're running him through.

IgnominiousD wrote:

Your wife is very cool to be so supportive, too.

I wonder about this. I believe from your previous writing that Ms. Rabbit is not a gamer, but is supportive of your geeky endeavors down in the Rabbit hole, but how does she truly feel about you indoctrinating your daughter in the ways of D&D nerdom? After all what will the neighbors think?

stupidhaiku wrote:
rabbit's little bundle of awesome wrote:

"Gnome Bard."

Good girl.

I've never considered gaming as a kind of heritage, but particularly with PnP gaming, there is a sort of indoctrination that has to occur. Interesting thought.

In any case it's wonderful you've found something that brings you together like this.

I was just thinking the other day about how closely Christian evangelism strategies apply to getting people to join your D&D group.

"I promise, it won't be weird!"

This post reminded me a little bit of space-nerd Wil Wheaton's escapades DM'ing his kid's campaign.

rabbit wrote:
Atras wrote:

Playing D&D with my 11 year old son has been great.

I'd love to hear what you're running him through.

We started out with him playing a Swordmage and a Ranger and me playing a Cleric with some random battles until those characters were level 2. Then he added a Barbarian to his characters and we started "Keep On the Shadowfell". He's not much into the role playing part, yet, but I think he's coming around on that. Until we hit level 2, he even took a turn at setting up an encounter and he really enjoyed that. When we get my youngest (4 years old) son's attention, I let him roll the dice for my monsters, which he loves - plus he rolls better than I do, which makes the battle much scarier.

Atras wrote:

When we get my youngest (4 years old) son's attention, I let him roll the dice for my monsters, which he loves - plus he rolls better than I do, which makes the battle much scarier.

And lo, out of the hands of infants shall roll critical hits... confirmed. And the PCs shall wail and gnash their teethums.

Ugh. Tomb of Horrors? We went through the revised one they had for 2nd edition ages ago and all we got for our efforts were some note that said, 'Hit the skull,' ignore the swirling dust storm (You know letters from dead people given to you by the GM are sacred liturgy -- except in this case). Two paladin strikes at the thing later, half the party is dead from laser beams out of the things head where we get no save. In order to salvage the situation, my thief was going to run in and attempt to steal what was needed from the chamber, only to roll the possibly worst initiative I ever could and get beaten out by the two elementals our cleric had happily summoned... who proceeded to pound the &*%#^& skull twice more, killing myself and the mage in the process. Lovely. I've detested Gary Gygax's 'flashes of brilliance' since then.

As a response to your family and daughter.. that's wonderful. There are few better teaching tools that can be utilized that allows you to have so much fun while inadvertantly learning all kinds of stuff about the world. Wanna learn mythology? Math? Reading Comprehesion? Solve puzzles and use your grey matter? I swear, nearly everything historical I've learned came through gaming. Learned about the American west, Carribean pirates, WW2, and I can point out on a map where Poitiou, Mercia, Anjou, Brittany, Saxony, and the like are on a map.

Its awesome for you and her that she's so interested!

Letting your child play a gnome is akin to child abuse! Though to be fair, I haven't read the PHB2 and I hear they've change the basic concept of the gnome race.

Still... gnomes! GRRR.

Tomb of Horrors was the first thing I thought of upon reading the word 'Lich' too.

I have the original one sitting in storage somewhere. It was designed not for adventuring, but 'sudden party death' as far as I remember.

What you were saying about the Meta-game reminded me sharply of my brother. I've spent a lot of time over the years listening to my brother geek out - explaining the history of his fantasy worlds, the layout of the city he made for Changeling, the plot of True Blood. Usually I just listen, and throw in the odd comment. For me, it's not about what he's saying, it's about the meta-game. It's about a moment where I can just be there for my brother, listening to him.

It's interesting that D&D fathers don't really need story books, because they have their own tales of derring do.

With Wil Wheaton talking about his kids and D&D and now this, it really makes me look forward to having little nerds of my own. I really do hope that my kids follow in my footsteps and get that excited over D&D and things of that nature. I can't wait to experience sharing something I love with my kids and watching them experience it for the first time. Great article.

Badferret wrote:
IgnominiousD wrote:

Your wife is very cool to be so supportive, too.

I wonder about this. I believe from your previous writing that Ms. Rabbit is not a gamer, but is supportive of your geeky endeavors down in the Rabbit hole, but how does she truly feel about you indoctrinating your daughter in the ways of D&D nerdom? After all what will the neighbors think?

Okay, finally delurking...

I am much more of a social gamer - and am quite happy to watch others play rather than participate myself. That being said, I'm a little jealous. I tried to get college friends to teach me D&D, but the idea of letting a girl into their group scared them a bit, I think.

Beyond that, I think it is so important for kids and their parents to find things to do together - especially as kids start entering the pre-teen and teen years - that I can't be anything but happy our daughter is excited about D&D.

Besides, we're planning on recruiting the neighbors soon!

JessicaRabbit wrote:

Okay, finally delurking...

Whoa... Welcome to the club (even though you've already been here for some time)!

Bards have always been awesome, especially if the player really takes to the role. Can't wait to hear stories about the adventures you two will have together.

Demiurge wrote:

Bards have always been awesome, especially if the player really takes to the role. Can't wait to hear stories about the adventures you two will have together.

In a Western Game, set in the 1860s-1880s using Phoenix Command system, I played a journalist/writer who traveled with a band of gunslingers (the rest of the party) and I wrote exciting adventures about their deeds and sent them to my publisher back East. It got to be really funny every time I took a mundane or normal action they did and exploded it into something larger than life for sensation and to sell books. Though I did use a pistol from time to time, I don't think I ever hit a thing with it and it was me usually bunkered down behind heavy objects furiously scribbling notes about the fights and adventures rather than firing back at whomever the group had a disagreement with. And they had a lot of disagreements. One of the best was when they chased after Jim Bridger.

Great fun. I was a lot like a D&D bard without the froo-froo magic skills.

I never got in to D&D, not because I was too cool I assure you. Full fledged geek here, just never happened into it. But I enjoyed the read; it’s nice when parents and children find a common interest.

JessicaRabbit wrote:
Badferret wrote:
IgnominiousD wrote:

Your wife is very cool to be so supportive, too.

I wonder about this. I believe from your previous writing that Ms. Rabbit is not a gamer, but is supportive of your geeky endeavors down in the Rabbit hole, but how does she truly feel about you indoctrinating your daughter in the ways of D&D nerdom? After all what will the neighbors think?

Okay, finally delurking...

I am much more of a social gamer - and am quite happy to watch others play rather than participate myself. That being said, I'm a little jealous. I tried to get college friends to teach me D&D, but the idea of letting a girl into their group scared them a bit, I think.

Beyond that, I think it is so important for kids and their parents to find things to do together - especially as kids start entering the pre-teen and teen years - that I can't be anything but happy our daughter is excited about D&D.

Besides, we're planning on recruiting the neighbors soon!

Very underrated Romulan ability, delurking is.

Ms. Ferret and I have yet to decide if we will have a baby ferret [We are the yuppy couple from Idiocracy] but I daydream of molding a son or daughter into some strange lefty-commy, college sports loving uber-board/card/computer gaming prodigy all the while deferring to my wife the responsibility of insuring said child is not a social outcast. A boy can dream can't he.

Btw, anyone else think that the next Rabbitcon should feature a no holds barred pillow-death match between JessicaRabbit and Silly Rabbit? The under card could be Elysium v Lady Elysium.

JessicaRabbit wrote:

Beyond that, I think it is so important for kids and their parents to find things to do together - especially as kids start entering the pre-teen and teen years - that I can't be anything but happy our daughter is excited about D&D.

One of my childhood regrets is that my parents and I didn't find many things that we could do together. I'm really happy that your daughter has found something that helps her to connect with you and Rabbit, and I hope that you keep finding things like that. It's amazing how much a little common ground can do for a relationship.

God, not a bard.

Sweet story, rabbit. It makes me want to have children of my own so I can corrupt them with Agricola.

Troy Goodfellow wrote:

God, not a bard.

Sweet story, rabbit. It makes me want to have children of my own so I can corrupt them with Agricola.

How does one corrupt anyone with Agricola? That's about the most wholesome board game since Candyland. Agricola needs some sexing up. Maybe some explosions.

How's your subsistence farming going now that I've planted nukes in your field!? Muahaha!