What's the greatest thing you've ever said to the opposite sex?

What doesn't kill you....

...obviously needs to be made stronger.

Some people are incapable of taking a hint. More direct methods are needed to get your point clearly across.

Whisper "Shhh...It'll all be over soon..."

Preferably said in bed, staring someone straight in the eyes, with your hand over their mouth. Only tried once, with someone who'd heard it come up in conversation earlier in the day. She thought it was hilarious.

"I only f*cked her because you f*cked him!"

"I only f*cked her because you f*cked him!"

Now you tell me! I never f*cked him, but I should have!

...and thus concludes this production of "A Comedy of Errors"

"65 Toss Power Trap"

"I love you, but if you so much as consider putting that [ Lindsay Lohan ] CD in, we're going to have problems."

*Legion* wrote:

"65 Toss Power Trap"

OK, that one threw me until I did a little Google-Fu: Link

They did it with the "65 toss power trap," the play that Mike Garrett ran in from the 5-yard line for the Chiefs' first touchdown. Stram made the play famous by yelling "Sixty-five toss power trap, it ought to bust wide open, boys," and when it worked he cheered, "Sixty-five toss power trap, ha ha ha, yeah!"

When asked:

"Would you still love me if I was fat?"

I replied:

"We could still be friends."

Him: You need to start calling me Lord and Master.

Me: What? I need to start calling you Little Bastard?

Well, since this thread has gotten WAY off course, thought I'd chime in with one of the most inappropriate, and therefore funny, comments I knew about.
One of my best friends was taking a Women's History course our senior year in college, and was one of 3 males in the class. He is the picture of the modern man: gentlemanly, sensitive, etc, etc. Also a football player, so he carried it off well. Anyway, at the end of the term, the professor gave them their exam the last week of class, so that they could have a little party during the actual exam week. The party was slowing down, and my friend was the last male left, among about 15 women. He said his goodbyes, gathered his stuff, walked to the door, and before exiting, turned around, looked nonchalantly at several classmates, and said, "why don't you girls clean up in here before you go."
And of course walked briskly away to an absolutely stunned silence.

Marsman wrote:

OK, that one threw me until I did a little Google-Fu: Link

The girl that understands the playcall gets a big ring.

Jakobedlam wrote:

my friend was the last male left, among about 15 women. He said his goodbyes, gathered his stuff, walked to the door, and before exiting, turned around, looked nonchalantly at several classmates, and said, "why don't you girls clean up in here before you go."
And of course walked briskly away to an absolutely stunned silence.

Lost. Opportunity. In my mind that scenario simply screams "let's make a manwich."

Women's History
manwich

No, no, no. Wrong. The man made the right choice. Only fat chicks take courses like Women's History.

"why don't you girls clean up in here before you go."

The most awesome quote in this thread. It's just perfect.

Morrolan wrote:

Only fat chicks take courses like Women's History.

"Fat chicks need love too... but they got to pay."

Rat Boy wrote:

"Fat chicks need love too... but they got to pay."

"My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggiydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry."

Nice earrings! Must be very expensive, no?

Lester_King wrote:

When asked:

"Would you still love me if I was fat?"

I replied:

"We could still be friends."

Thanks, I used this this weekend when my wife said "what would you do if I ever got that fat?" It got a good laugh.

That why you've been living in the car the last couple of days, belt?

And fang better feel damn lucky that Certis didn't bust out the ban stick for that "yub yub" line. I wouldn't have protested. No sir.

I think I've said something cool to a girl from Taiwan: Are you from China because I've be china get in your pants!

"Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaica me crazy"

(C) Weird Al Yankowitz

He also had another cool one in that same song:

"My love for you is just like diarrhea
-- I just can't hold it in"