My Life Starts To Sound Like A Movie: Help Me Find a Flight to Greece

For those of you who followed my "getting separated from wife" thread, this may come as much as a shock to you as it did to me, so lemme give you some background. For those who just want to help with the specific thing I need, skip to last paragraph, cause dude I'm verbose.

Of the things that came out now that my wife and I are going through this, was the one tie breaker possible in the "can I still trust her and try to work this out" genre. She told me that she had started to be interested in someone else, but that I would be relieved to know (oh my god could she be more wrong) that it wouldn't happen because this guy was now dating a friend of hers. Hell, I might have been relieved and even forgiving if she had said it was all a terrible, terrible mistake and just cause she's going through a rough time. Not: Well, nothing can happen cause he dissed me. As if I give a s*** about anything other than how she feels about me, as if I am some petty idiot who's happy she got rejected? Bleh. Bleh, and quadruple bleh. For me, I can only open my heart to one person at a time, and hell I even remember that I'm married when I'm dreaming. So I would say my trust is thoroughly broken at this point.

And then I get an email 2 days ago. It's from the woman who was an exchange student from Greece my senior year of high school, who I fell deeply in love with. The one real regret, out of everything I've been through in my life, is that I didn't defer my first year of college and goto Greece. It wasn't the first time I had fallen in love, it was that she's the only person I ever felt was truly my soul mate, in a very real and not just teenager sentimentality way. Seems she got divorced a year ago under very similar circumstances. She had been trying to get in touch with me, however, for the past four years. But when does her email find me? When my wife is gone to her parent's house, and I'm finally dealing with the reality of this whole thing. Just about a day after I had decided that no matter what my wife did, it wouldn't be enough for me to want to spend my life with her and trust her. It's like God held the email in some mystical Inbox until I was ready, and not rebounding, and not flipping out, but actually lucid for the first time in a long time and ready to move on with my life.

So I called her. And it was like a year had passed instead of sixteen. And we're both at similar places in our lives. And we both feel it would be pretty stupid to regret not seeing each other for another sixteen years. So I'm going to Greece. In 2 weeks, assuming I can get my passport renewed by then. Your passport has to be less than fifteen years old to get it renewed, and mine is fourteen years old. I found it in the fifth box I checked. I realized through the first four and a half boxes that I had kept a whole part of my life packed away that didn't fit with my current life. And it's damned sad that it didn't fit. I'm calling her again today to finalize dates of when I'll be going, and when coming back. Although I'd eat the cost of the return ticket and not come back for a while longer if that's...what happens.

My only real contingent at this point is I promised a choir teacher friend of mine that I'd goto a week-long conference in Minnesota, that I really want to go to. I called her last night to give her the heads up that...I just don't know this moment whether I will be going (which would be seriously rude on many levels, since I promised for months we'd do this, and she saved the money, and she would have gone to a different session if I wasn't going...backing out at last minute as we were about to register would be bad). However, that's also a part of this whole "Am I in a movie?" feeling: we were going to register for the conference this week. The conference (with long by car travel time) is July 21st through July 30th. Which means I would be in Greece from ~July 1st, through July 19th. A part of me, a big part actually, wants to just skip the conference and be in Greece from July 1st through maybe August 8th or so. (just in time to get some kind of music teaching job really fast if my interview this week doesn't work out). I would then hopefully get a music job I actually want the following year.

I have no expectations, in that, I don't think I could permanently move to Greece, cause I don't think I could teach choir there, and that's what I want to do with my life. I also don't know if we'll connect, somehow magically pickup where we left off sixteen years ago. I definitely don't know if she's willing to move to the States. But Oh My God, how stupid would it be, how much would I regret it, if I didn't goto Greece and figure all that out?

I'm having a hell of a time trying to find plane tickets. I've seen prices from $500 to $4000, and anything that comes up $1000 or less also says "Sold Out" once I hit their "continue" button. I'm looking for a round trip flight between Metro Detroit Airport (DTW) and Athens, Greece (ATH). The dates will either be July 1st to July 19th, or July 1st to August 8th. Let you know as soon as I can. I would be more than happy to send a nice electronic $50 Amazon or wherever gift certicate to the person who can find me the cheapest round trip tickets, preferrably in that $1000 or less, continually sold out category (only, of course, it would need to be in the "1 ticket left for Roo" category). If you read all of the above, yes, this is nuts. But I'd be nuts not to go. And yes, it feels like I'm in a novel or a movie, with cliched plot twists working out magically right. I wouldn't cry if it did work out that way.

I hope you find the ticket, or someone here finds it. I say it is fate. Or damn good timing.

Go to a travel agent, tell him you want to go to Greece. They will probably give you an option to "Travel to Italy and then take a boat to Greece" or something, it's not like you can only arrive by plane.

Also, I had a hunch that she was bored of the marriage. Dude, move on.

Go for it Roo, you only live once as they say. As far as the tickets, it would add some hastle, but am pretty sure there are equiviliants to SW airlines in Europe, that are really cheap.. maybe fly into London/Paris/Berlin and catch another flight?

Roo wrote:

She told me that she had started to be interested in someone else, but that I would be relieved to know (oh my god could she be more wrong) that it wouldn't happen because this guy was now dating a friend of hers.

I hope she can see this, because I am doing it as hard as I can. /inignot voice

Also, and now I'm intruding in stuff that you shouldn't care about, but I'd never travel to another country to meet a possible mate. There's plenty of great women hanging nearby, it's just a matter of going out to meet them.

Then again, Greek women are HOT. Except the ones that look like moms.

See if you can get into one of the charter packages that many Agencies or tourist groups will form...

If possible (not sure about your area) see if there is anysort of Greek community...many times (at least in Philly) there will be a Greek run travel agency that organizes packages on charter planes..

As a Greek I can fill you in on more info about Greece/Working in Greece etc if you want to PM me..

My Mom and Dad retired back to Greece and my older Brother moved back several years ago and now is the CFO at a German Bank in Athens..

In spite of your issues with your ex, i must say I'm a bit jealous. Greece is one my favorite places in the world and to be able to explore it with an old/new flame sounds fantastic. Kudos to you for having the sack to make this jump.

As far as plane fair goes, no good leads from me unfortuately. You might try popping your head into a travel agent, you never know they might have a deal lying around.

Where abouts are you heading? Is she from Athens, or you hitting a island, or perhaps the North?

~just sitting here living vicariously.

"I need some space" = "I'm interested in having sex with someone else."

I hadn't realized that women utilized that secret code as well...guess so. Well, sh*t. Good luck getting to Greece, man!

Podunk wrote:

I hadn't realized that women utilized that secret code as well...guess so. Well, sh*t. Good luck getting to Greece, man!

He he... Women do the same crap as men, they always have... They're just smarter at hiding it. : )

Mex wrote:

He he... Women do the same crap as men, they always have... They're just smarter at hiding it. : )

The world is a darker place than I ever imagined.

Let's start a livejournal about this.

Mex wrote:

Let's start a livejournal about this.

We can have Demos set us up a community...

Roo, I hope this works out for you. I've had a very bad experience with a long-distance relationship, and the one piece of advice I can give you (with hindsight) is to clarify at an early enough stage what you want the relationship to be, and whether either of you would be willing to move, and where. I didn't, and it led inevitably to frustration and, eventually, rather painful breakup.

But worry about that when you get there. In the meantime, a temporary change of climate, bundled in with a holiday to Greece, sounds like a very good option for you right now. It gives you the chance to escape the current situation, geographically and emotionally, avoid being confronted with it every day, and gain a bit of distance to come to terms with it.

More practically, cheap European budget airlines:

www.easyjet.com:
They Have a London-Athens flight, and might have other flights. Make sure you book in sufficient time (a few hours) between airports if necessary. I believe the flight is out of Gatwick.

www.ryanair.com (don't fly to Greece AFAIK, but do flights to Italy, you'd need to catch a ferry from there)

Alternatively, check with ebookers or similar - although they don't cover the budget airlines.

You may still end up paying substantially - We're moving into the holiday season, and Greece is a very popular destination this time of the year.

Good luck. We're right behind you. And bring back pics!

Wow, it does sound like a movie.

Sometimes things happen for a reason and this may be one of those times!

I say take a chance and go otherwise you will be thinking about it forever, even if you meet a new girl here.

Roo, I'm sincerely rooting for you. I second (or third or...) the suggestion to go the travel agent route. When you have time to do the planning and research, do-it-yourself online sites may be the way to go but once it gets complicated, leave it to a professional.

Wow. This is the best live-action romance movie in ages! I'm rooting for you, Roo; this kind of sh*t happens for a reason. Here's hoping the reason is the one you're hoping for.

I wish I could help out with the flight, but the 'fly somewhere close and alternate transportation over' sounds like it'll be the best option. Good luck!

Does your wife know what your doing and why? I'd say that should pretty much be the deathblow to your marriage. Do you still consider her your best friend?

I'm not saying don't do it, I'm just thinking that this is a pretty drastic change from your recent state of mind. I don't remember you stating in the previous thread that you were going to throw away any chance at saving the relationship by flying off to Greece to meet some chick you had a crush on. Sure, your wife is also guilty but she didn't act on her urges ... and you are about to.

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh. I realize I don't know enough about your situation to give meaningful advice. Just food for thought I guess. Good luck Roo.

karmajay wrote:

Wow, it does sound like a movie.

How Roo Got His Groove Back

Podunk wrote:
karmajay wrote:

Wow, it does sound like a movie.

How Roo Got His Groove Back

:D

We don't watch crappy cry-flicks like that around here. It has to be something like "Hot Greek 20-Somethings Gone Wild - Featuring Roo"

Sure, your wife is also guilty but she didn't act on her urges ... and you are about to.

It sounded like he pronounced the relationship dead to him when she said, "I really wanted to nail this guy, but you'll be happy to know that I'm not because he's going out with a friend of mine." Then again, that's strictly how I interpreted it and could definitely be way off the mark.

Go to Greece, Roo!

JimmDogg wrote:
Roo wrote:

She told me that she had started to be interested in someone else, but that I would be relieved to know (oh my god could she be more wrong) that it wouldn't happen because this guy was now dating a friend of hers.

Geez, no kidding. I don't think you can get any more insensitive or wrapped up in yourself any more than that.

Good luck, Roo.

buzzvang wrote:

Go to Greece, Roo! :)

/signed

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone.. and their twin sister

Edit -- For all of us who've been burned in relationships.

Ooooo.. Burn! NSFWife/Work

Prederick wrote:

We don't watch crappy cry-flicks like that around here. It has to be something like "Hot Greek 20-Somethings Gone Wild - Featuring Roo"

My Big Fat Greek Orgy

Don't forget to take care of you current business before you go. Go ahead and do all that stuff we told you in the other thread (lawyer, splitting assests, etc if you are goign that route) then make sure to take lots of pictures.

Podunk wrote:
Prederick wrote:

We don't watch crappy cry-flicks like that around here. It has to be something like "Hot Greek 20-Somethings Gone Wild - Featuring Roo"

My Big Fat Greek Orgy

Dr. Roo-love : How I learned to stop worrying and love the Weiner Bomb.

Go for it Roo! At the very least you went to Greece!

Have you seen any recent pictures of her? Personally, I'd want to make sure "she" isn't a "he" now before I bought my tickets.

I've been doing the grieving process thing since maybe two weeks before I wrote that other thread. With my wife gone for a week and a half at her parents I've had time to sit and think, to have all this stuff go through my head way more times than I want. I think my wife is trying to find every kind and many not kind ways of ending things. And no matter what we could "work out"...I don't think she can be what I want, for the rest of our lives. Not to mention just the next year or so. My trust is gone. My loyalty is gone. My willingness to accept far less than I want in my life.

Getting that email just told me a great many things. How far along the grieving process I already am. My wife has been pretty emotionally absent for good long time now. We do lots of stuff together. It's not the same as being together. I have no animosity, just this great sadness, of loss and disappointment. But that stuff I mentioned above...that really ended it for me, on many emotional levels. It's not the physical thing, it's the coveting thing. Thall shalt not, and stay married to Roo.

So I got my passport photos, got my money order to cover passport renewal and expediting fees (had to have it in cash...can't find my atm card, did lots of rooting around the house, almost paid in quarters), and went to post office to have it express mailed along with enclosed return express mail thingie. I called a local travel agency that's been owned by a Greek family for the past 30 years. Seemed like a good thing. The guy should be calling me back shortly, as I just returned his phone call and he was out on a break or busy or something.

I know who I am. I'm ready to have the life I want, even if nothing works out in Greece. I have no regrets for what I did during my marriage, I was me, and somedays that's great, and some days less so. My wife is one of my best friends, but...I'll be calling her tonight.

I'm not ending things to goto Greece. Things ended. And as a bonus, Fate, God, and an amazing woman I know in Greece stepped in to let me know...life moves on and you might as well grab a ticket and take the full ride.

We'll see about pics...

Once again, I think I'm closer to my GWJ family than any other family I've got. You guys I pick. The rest I got saddled with.

Go Roo!

Have no regrets, bud.