There is just no way Borderlands can be worse then Rebel Moon.
There is just no way Borderlands can be worse then Rebel Moon.
Not even close. There is no grain in Borderlands.
Watched Longlegs. It's not the scariest movie of the year, despite what the marketing would tell you, but it is really effectively creepy. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Hell, I was basically in from the first frame.
It wastes no time but doesn’t rush. I was not so impressed by Cuckoo.
Alien Love Gardener wrote:Watched Longlegs. It's not the scariest movie of the year, despite what the marketing would tell you, but it is really effectively creepy. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Hell, I was basically in from the first frame.
It wastes no time but doesn’t rush.
Excellent way to put it. It feels like every shot is such a deliberate choice, and that's a genuinely refreshing way to watch a movie these days.
I saw Twisters (due to my daugher having friends over we just had to go to the cinema a specific night at a specific time, and it was the best choice out of a bad set for my wife and me). It honestly wasn't that bad. I found the main girl a touch bland and the science is bollocks as you'd imagine, but it was fun.
So... Alien Romulus.
I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure what to say.
It's like... a pastiche of things from better Alien movies and completely new ideas that are pretty cool, but don't really add up to a movie.
The production design is flawless. The score is amazing. The actors are great (except one, which I won't spoil). The movie's biggest problem is that it doesn't really have any characters. There are six primary actors in it, but together they make up maybe... 1 1/2 characters? Anyway, I call it a "watch it if your brother is paying for it"
That character thing by the way is not the fault of the actors. Definitely the screenwriter’s fault.
Rebel Moon kept me laughing the whole time, so... 
Points for that, anyway.
It was made to be laughed at.
I pretty thoroughly enjoyed Twisters. It's silly, but pretty well done silliness, and I'm pretty much a Glen Powell fanboy now.
I can't be as unambiguously positive about Alien: Romulus. Its highs are higher - superb set design and cinematography, some strong performances, really suspenseful set pieces and sequences, with clear goals and stakes and proper setups and payoffs. The bones are solid.
But it slathers it in so many pointless callbacks and references - one is especially disastrous and distracting. It's so annoying to see it shoot itself in the foot with all this fanservice bullshit.
The filmcast raving about it got me out to see Blink Twice, and they weren't wrong.
Channing Tatum is a disgraced tech billionaire making an apology tour after having gone to therapy and touched grass on his private island. Naomi Ackie is a waitress at an event for his new charity. She and her friend accepts an invitation to go vacation on his island. And even though the days seem to pass in a blissful haze of champagne and mescalin, it unsurprisingly turns out to have been a very bad idea.
Directed and co-written by Zoë Kravitz, it's a really confident piece of film making, especially for her first movie. She knows how build tension and keep things moving, and how to keep the one location visually interesting. (Granted, it helps that it's a tropical villa.)
Blink Twice. Dumb title, very good movie.
Well, Alien Love Gardener, I believe your opinion of Blink Twice could (have been) best summed up in the form of a limerick. 
So it's a good sit?
Watched Borderlands which was one of the best movies ever made. It had a bunny girl from final fantasy. Nick Fury agent of Shield joined the team. A fire angel or demon with strong cheek bones was great. A star wars droid brought the comedy. Then the best character was a shirtless Jason from Friday the 13th. This multiverse of madness had the perfect balance of horror, comedy, drama, thriller, sexy time, and historical facts.
A lot of people will lie about the movie saying it is bad. Don't listen to them. These people are agents of the evil one, Elon Musk. The director refused to put a tesla as ad placement and now his minions are review bombing the movie. This is a truly holy movie. A man that couldn't walk stood up and started dancing after watching this movie. This movie was played at a pet semetery and all the animals came back to life. I use to lie to people to get them to watch bad movies but after watching this movie I only tell the truth about movies because it was just that good.
Please go see this epic movie. I give this movie 1000 academy awards out of 10. The one thing I didn't understand about the movie is why does Jamie Lee Curtis have a boy's name. The only Jamies I know are boys. Jamie from Outlander. Jamie that has sex with his sister on game of thrones, hot. The actor is hot not the sex with the sister, gross. And basically every Jamie on the planet is a boy. So Jamie Lee Curtis should change her name to Curtis Lee Jamie. Anyone that disagrees with me is racist.
Still... Should I go see it?
Still... Should I go see it?
Only if you're a fan of borderlands 3 and/or it is discounted.
Still... Should I go see it?
Probably not. It has about 10% of the Borderlands (1) trappings. You get people with names that you've seen in the game (Lilith! Roland! Tannis! Claptrap! Marcus!), you get a vault, you get a desert planet with crazy dog things and people wearing masks. There's even a gun that gets shown on screen. They decided to make Lilith a jaded bounty hunter, since vault hunting is stupid. They give us a character who is named Tiny Tina, and she looks like her, and has bombs in teddy bears. They gave her a pet Psycho for some reason. In a world with personal shields, hundreds of bullets will be shot at people, and no one will be in danger. Later, 3 people with guns will shoot dozens of people and there's no blood anywhere! There's a brave sacrifice of a beloved character. Our heroes find the vault and ... win? It's a mess, but it didn't have to be. I liked 75% of the effects and the way the world looked. I didn't hate Kevin Hart as Roland (this was - foolishly - my biggest concern when I heard about the movie). Jack Black's Claptrap is probably the best part of the movie - take that as it sounds. I think it's just over an hour and a half, so if you can get it for 10 dollars (or you can get a bunch of people together with a large amount of alcohol, maybe 20), it's not the worst way to spend some time thinking about what could have been.
A lot of people will lie about the movie saying it is bad. Don't listen to them.
I heard that Claptrap is a try-hard memelord that gets grating almost immediately, so it sounds like they're being true to the games there at least.
Why does every movie have to be "good" or "fun" or "entertaining" Can't it be enough that it lines the pockets of shareholders?
Why does every movie have to be "good" or "fun" or "entertaining" Can't it be enough that it lines the pockets of shareholders?
This is a fair point. Won’t someone think of the accountants and lawyers for once.
Why does every movie have to be "good" or "fun" or "entertaining" Can't it be enough that it lines the pockets of shareholders?
Thoroughly enjoyed your joke there farley, but Captain Realism over here wants to point out that in most cases, you're comparing apples and apples.
Good, fun, entertaining movies tend to line the pockets of shareholders. Bad, lame, tedious movies tend not to.
Now before I get into this, don't get me wrong. If you are a person of faith and you enjoy this kind of movie, more power to you. But...
I found this more than a little bit disturbing. A Christian propaganda film that got 70% RT score (from ten reviewers) and 100% from 2500+ user ratings.
I wonder how many churches promised salvation in exchange for an RT review...
I think I have more faith (pun intended) in the reviewer from the Black Catholic Messenger:
"The Forge” is a Black-presenting Christian film from a group of very conservative White Christian creators about fatherlessness and respectability. I’ll just leave that there.
I wonder how many churches promised salvation in exchange for an RT review...
There’s a small but extremely faithful (pun intended) market for christian movies, there’s even a couple streaming services like PureFlix that only do christian movies.
(I only know this because of the podcast God Awful Movies, which MST3K’s religious/conservative/conspiracy films)
(I only know this because of the podcast God Awful Movies, which MST3K’s religious/conservative/conspiracy films)
Oh I MUST give that a listen. Awesome.
ruhk wrote:(I only know this because of the podcast God Awful Movies, which MST3K’s religious/conservative/conspiracy films)
Oh I MUST give that a listen. Awesome.
It’s not full MST3K because they don’t play even clips of the movies since most of them are extremely protective about copyright, but it’s a good podcast from the same people that do Cognitive Dissonance and Skepticrat. Early episodes are pretty rough so it’s best to start with the more recent ones- any of the ones covering Mike Lindell’s “documentaries” or any Qanon movies are particularly good.
Thinking about it a bit more I guess the reason I find that rotten tomatoes thing so annoying is that there are so few movies centered on non-Christian faiths showing up in mainstream theaters. There are plenty of movies with Jewish themes, but most of them don’t beat the viewer over the head with religion the way that Christian movies do. Wide release movies featuring other faiths are unicorns.
One of the trends noticed in christian movies by the podcast is that nearly all of them either heavily imply or directly state that the only thing keeping nonbelievers from converting to evangelical christianity is because they haven’t heard about the bible/god yet (despite christianity and christian references being extremely common even in secular pop culture) so it makes sense why these movies so aggressively proselytize. The people making them view them as sermons first and entertainment second.
A Christian propaganda film that got 70% RT score (from ten reviewers) and 100% from 2500+ user ratings.
I don't understand what's so remarkable about that score. I'm not going to review a movie I haven't seen, and I can tell from the information available that I don't want to watch this one unless I'm being paid. Conservative Christianity is really good at both of isolating its members from mainstream society and being highly visible. Nobody is watching this thing by mistake.
One of the trends noticed in christian movies by the podcast is that nearly all of them either heavily imply or directly state that the only thing keeping nonbelievers from converting to evangelical christianity is because they haven’t heard about the bible/god yet (despite christianity and christian references being extremely common even in secular pop culture) so it makes sense why these movies so aggressively proselytize. The people making them view them as sermons first and entertainment second.
There are some historical reasons for this.
Christianity is built around a savior (literally a Messiah) and the religion spread throughout the Roman empire via "spreading the Good Word." It is a religion built on the idea that simply sharing the story about this guy from Nazareth will open the eyes of the ignorant; you just need to get out there and tell them. They'll convert.
This base can be seen throughout history in the missionary tradition.
There's this (hilarious?) tension in the Christian tradition once it becomes the empire and dominates everything in the space. Then the emphasis becomes conformity and bureaucracy, and all the normal parts of human institution-running.
This is radically different from the Judaic tradition where a people is literally chosen and there is zero proselytizing (Moses told Pharaoh to free the slaves, not go kosher).
the only thing keeping nonbelievers from converting to evangelical christianity is because they haven’t heard about the bible/god yet
Right. Like no one has heard of John 3:16 before. (sigh)
the only thing keeping nonbelievers from converting to evangelical christianity is because they haven’t heard about the bible/god yetRight. Like no one has heard of John 3:16 before. (sigh)
It gets pretty unintentionally hilarious in some of the movies, with the bible being treated like this rare text that only the faithful have ever touched, and not literally the most printed book in human history. Or where the protoganist has to educate a group of his nonbeliever friends who aren’t even familiar with the general concept of a god. “So you’re saying there’s a guy who can see and do anything, and created the entire world just for us?!” Stuff like that.
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