NFL 2023: The preseason / predraft thread

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Super Bowl 57: I was entertained!

I'll admit that when Mahomes was limping off the field before halftime, I was bracing myself for a lot of spicy takes: Mahomes is overrated, Reid can't win the big game, the Chiefs' previous Super Bowl win was a fluke, etc etc.

Nope. Mahomes is terrific, and the guy in the header pic is the co-MVP. No shade to the Eagles because they were great, but Mahomes and Reid are a tough out.

(pauses)

OK, so that's over. Time to look ahead to the 2023 season!

Feb 21-March 7: Teams can bust out the franchise tag.

Feb 28-March 6: NFL Scouting Combine (aka the Underwear Olympics) in Indianapolis; this is also when NFL Twitter will become absolutely insufferable

March 15: Official start of the 2023 season. Teams can starting signing (or not) free agents. (The NFL's operations website has more precise language about exactly what happens March 15; maybe Legion can translate for us.)

March 26-29: Annual league meeting in some tax-sheltered venue with weak extradition treaties

April 3: The Panthers and other teams with new HCs can start offseason workout programs; for everyone else, it's April 17.

April 27-29: NFL Draft in Kansas City; here is your draft order

July 26: Training camps begin

Aug 3: Pro Football Hall of Fame Game

Sept 7: WEEK 1!!!!

Dang didn't even wait for a victory parade...

Prediction: Lamar gets tagged. Speculation builds about a holdout and trade. Long term deal gets worked out that no one is happy about.

Stele wrote:

Dang didn't even wait for a victory parade...

The NFL doesn't rest, son, and neither do I. KEEP UP!

PS: The only date I didn't have for the OP was the schedule release date. Looks like it'll be sometime in early/mid May -- May 11 or so.

That is one quality header image.

If this is the offseason thread, the Bucs are about to head down the long slide into the pit of irrelevance and being plain awful, and, well, that's fine; if that's the price for the last three years, everybody will just shrug and move on. The cap situation is a hot mess and a half, and, if I had to put money on it, the preseason QB battle is between Kyle Trask and Disappointing Veteran QB #1. Baker Mayfield? Trevor Sieman? Trying to take some half-ass veteran QB and expect them to actually be able to play will be like the old Jon Gruden days, and, hey, nostalgia.

The NFC South is going to be such a massive garbage fire next year . . .

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

That is one quality header image.

If this is the offseason thread, the Bucs are about to head down the long slide into the pit of irrelevance and being plain awful, and, well, that's fine; if that's the price for the last three years, everybody will just shrug and move on. The cap situation is a hot mess and a half, and, if I had to put money on it, the preseason QB battle is between Kyle Trask and Disappointing Veteran QB #1. Baker Mayfield? Trevor Sieman? Trying to take some half-ass veteran QB and expect them to actually be able to play will be like the old Jon Gruden days, and, hey, nostalgia.

The NFC South is going to be such a massive garbage fire next year . . .

Bigtime.

Two teams are experiencing cap Armageddon. The other two have new coaches and a dearth of talent. This is going to be like watching blind boxers.

Do we see a 7-10 playoff team? A 6 win one?

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

Do we see a 7-10 playoff team? A 6 win one?

With ties, the theoretical minimum is 0, but that is impossibly unlikely. I would be very happy with a 4 win team making the playoffs if for no other reason than to have one more thing to mock Goodell over.

SOUTH

What to know: The NFC South plays the entire AFC South, and one opponent each from the AFC East, NFC East and NFC West, in addition to intradivisional opponents.

Buccaneers

Home: Falcons, Panthers, Saints, Bears, Lions, Jaguars, Titans, Eagles

Away: Falcons, Panthers, Packers, Texans, Colts, Vikings, Saints, 49ers, Bills

Falcons

Home: Panthers, Saints, Buccaneers, Packers, Vikings, Texans, Colts, Eagles

Away: Panthers, Bears, Lions, Jaguars, Saints, Buccaneers, Titans, 49ers, Bills

Panthers

Home: Falcons, Saints, Buccaneers, Packers, Vikings, Texans, Colts, Cowboys

Away: Falcons, Bears, Lions, Jaguars, Saints, Buccaneers, Titans, Seahawks, Dolphins

Saints

Home: Falcons, Panthers, Buccaneers, Bears, Lions, Jaguars, Titans, Giants

Away: Falcons, Panthers, Packers, Texans, Colts, Vikings, Buccaneers, Rams, Patriots

Sadly, there are a lot of winnable games there between teams like the Jets, Texans, Bears, and Lions, but the possibility of a 6 win team winning the division is very, very real.

Don't sleep on the Jets!

Aaron Rodgers is hopefully seeing planes, sky scrapers and beautiful commutes to New Jersey (the garden state) on his vision quest.

[quote="Paleocon"]

Panthers

Home: Falcons, Saints, Buccaneers, Packers, Vikings, Texans, Colts, Cowboys

Away: Falcons, Bears, Lions, Jaguars, Saints, Buccaneers, Titans, Seahawks, Dolphins

That's really only six home games for Carolina. Packers and Cowboys fans will take over the stadium.

Meanwhile, Carolina isn't so much devoid of talent as lacking a starting-caliber QB. The three-headed monster of Baker/PJ/Bearded Darnold was worth seven wins, ffs. I'm going to remain optimistic until Carolina fails to trade up in the draft and/or signs Carson Wentz or Matt Ryan. Even then, seven wins might be enough to win the NFC South. It almost was this season!

The Panthers were a helmet celebration penalty from the playoffs, despite their dysfunction last season.

You're telling me that division is going to be worse?

Stele wrote:

The Panthers were a helmet celebration penalty from the playoffs, despite their dysfunction last season.

You're telling me that division is going to be worse?

Pay attention to the two bottom spots.

So, if all the teams in a division split their division games and lose all their other games, there would be a four-way tie at 3-14, right? What would the tie breaker be in that situation to determine the division winner? Strength of schedule? Total points scored? Would they just say "f*ck you, we're giving your spot to another wild card team"?

iaintgotnopants wrote:

So, if all the teams in a division split their division games and lose all their other games, there would be a four-way tie at 3-14, right? What would the tie breaker be in that situation to determine the division winner? Strength of schedule? Total points scored? Would they just say "f*ck you, we're giving your spot to another wild card team"?

It is even theoretically possible for them to actually TIE all of their division games for a possible 0-14-3 record. And yes, I think it would come down to strength of schedule.

Here's the Jim Caldwell we all know and love:

IMAGE(https://library.sportingnews.com/styles/crop_style_16_9_desktop/s3/2021-08/caldwell-jim-08062015-us-news-getty-ftr_w627amx8ijzj1t846tn5fxbzs.jpg?itok=g1lSTSEy)

And here's Jim Caldwell after accepting a coaching job from the Panthers:

IMAGE(http://t3.gstatic.com/licensed-image?q=tbn:ANd9GcQOSWo2vg5Zl0Y9NqX-6ulRhTYmWlZwIvVfY31imEVkveKWPrNwqjYbBphdSWoI3b30AGhBn5CF99vq08g)

OH YEAH

I'll give David Tepper some credit: He is learning from his first dumb HC hire and is hiring dudes with serious NFL cred. Dom Capers (Carolina's first HC) is on the staff, as is Duce Staley.

Colts hire Shane Steichen as their head coach. He's probably going to get a quarterback twice Jalen Hurts' age forced on him by Jim Irsay.

Todd Monken to the Ravens.

Hard to believe Todd Monken wanted to go to Baltimore, one of the most stable organizations around, instead of Tampa, where there's a solid chance he'd be coaching Kyle Trask through a year of cap hell and very possibly getting fired next year when Bowles is booted out the door. I, for one, am shocked.

Cards hire Jonathan Gannon as HC. Now begins the search for the missing pieces of the Triforce of Wisdom.

It’s ridiculous that two Eagles Assistants got coaching jobs before some other more deserving candidates. Oh wait I’m being told they are both young white dudes.

According to Schefter, Derek Carr is now a free agent.

TheGameguru wrote:

It’s ridiculous that two Eagles Assistants got coaching jobs before some other more deserving candidates. Oh wait I’m being told they are both young white dudes.

White head coaches get coaching trees even if they lose the Super Bowl if they have white assistant head coaches.

Glares in Eric Bieniemy

Between that terrible flag, Roger’s outlandish behavior with the Chiefs Players during the post game celebrations, and now Bieniemy getting passed over by the very inexperienced assistant coaches he literally just beat, it does make me wonder if we are watching a scripted TV series where white people are given more opportunities just like in Hollywood.

What did Goodell do at the celebration?

I saw Bradshaw being a dick to Andy but what'd Roger do?

Got very huggy with some Chiefs players after the game. Like veeeery huggy. Kinda weird.

Beat me to it. Insane, it's the exact same voice.

Prederick wrote:

Beat me to it. Insane, it's the exact same voice.

Someone needs to take it to the next level. Dub Kenny Powers lines over Kermit the Frog.

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