NFL 2022: The preseason thread

I try to avoid conspiracy theories as much as I can, but it's impossible to at least not raise an eyebrow at the coincidence that the Kaep workout happened on the day the NFL failed to dismiss the Gruden lawsuit or even send it to arbitration.

Stuff around Lamar Jackson continues to be weird.

He's now skipping OTAs, which is the kind of move a player makes in a contract dispute, but Lamar's the one refusing to negotiate a contract extension right now. So what are you protesting by not showing up?

It's like he's determined to just be backwards on everything this offseason.

Maybe he's constipated. Everybody knows he can't play if he has to poop.

*Legion* wrote:

Stuff around Lamar Jackson continues to be weird.

He's now skipping OTAs, which is the kind of move a player makes in a contract dispute, but Lamar's the one refusing to negotiate a contract extension right now. So what are you protesting by not showing up?

It's like he's determined to just be backwards on everything this offseason.

Yeah. This is distressing.

*Legion* wrote:

If only they hired Leftwich, they could've been up to 3.

And we would both be happier. Instead, you are stuck with BAAAAAAlke and Jimmy G on the bench, and I am stuck as an NFL nomad.

The Panthers' owner fired his football coach!

Ha, ha, no, not Matt Rhule. The other football coach.

Halfway through his first season, too. Must have been the lack of Temple players because the guy had already won five games which seemed to be the threshold for staying employed.

Only 1 spot out of playoffs at mid season? That seems ridiculous

If you like WORDLE but think, "this isn't football enough, also words are dumb", then allow me to introduce you to WEDDLE.

My first guess was Sam Darnold. If it had been right, I would have considered the game won and never played it again.

iaintgotnopants wrote:

My first guess was Sam Darnold. If it had been right, I would have considered the game won and never played it again.

My opener is Jimmy G until he's no longer a 49er.

My guesses today:

Spoiler:

Jimmy G -> nope it's an AFC player -> James Robinson -> OK an AFC running back that's short and young -> Devin Singletary -> OK not quite that short but yes to the AFC East -> Michael Carter

I haven't tried Hard mode yet, which does all positions. Normal mode is skill positions only. Not sure how well I'll fare remembering the defensive tackles and linebackers on every team.

Stele wrote:

Only 1 spot out of playoffs at mid season? That seems ridiculous

Still lasted longer than Eddie Firmani.

*Legion* wrote:
iaintgotnopants wrote:

My first guess was Sam Darnold. If it had been right, I would have considered the game won and never played it again.

My opener is Jimmy G until he's no longer a 49er.

My guesses today:

Spoiler:

Jimmy G -> nope it's an AFC player -> James Robinson -> OK an AFC running back that's short and young -> Devin Singletary -> OK not quite that short but yes to the AFC East -> Michael Carter

I haven't tried Hard mode yet, which does all positions. Normal mode is skill positions only. Not sure how well I'll fare remembering the defensive tackles and linebackers on every team.

I didn't understand what the visual cues were at first so I wasted one guess

Spoiler:

of Justin Jefferson after starting with Thielen, but then made my way to Antonio Gibson, Dobbins, then Carter for the win.

I got sacked by today's Weddle.

Spoiler:

I'm not exactly up on 4-foot-tall running backs who play for the Jets. Hell, I'm not sure I could name a single Jets player other their QB, Zack, uh, Whatshisname. The guy who Sam Darnold beat in the season opener last year.

Enix wrote:
Spoiler:

I'm not exactly up on 4-foot-tall running backs who play for the Jets.

Spoiler:

This one played for UNC though! Granted, his backfield teammate Javonte Williams was drafted earlier - round 2 vs. round 4. Still though, Tar Heel.

Deshaun Watson is already accumulating stats in 2022.

He's picked up another lawsuit. A 23rd accuser has joined the fray, stating that they changed their mind about filing suit after watching the HBO Real Sports piece on Watson that aired last week.

Quote USA Today:

The new lawsuit states that the woman did not want to do a third massage on Watson after her first two encounters with him in Houston. But she could not refuse Watson as a client because her boss at the massage spa, Dionne Louis, wanted Watson as a client, according to the lawsuit filed in Harris County, Texas. The woman learned Watson paid Louis $5,000 for Louis’s “work,” and the lawsuit includes an exhibit of the apparent Cash App receipt. Other plaintiffs also have been associated with Louis.

The national average for a 90-minute sports massage session is supposedly around $100-200. Whatever could Watson have had in mind when dropping $5000?

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:
Spoiler:

I'm not exactly up on 4-foot-tall running backs who play for the Jets.

Spoiler:

This one played for UNC though! Granted, his backfield teammate Javonte Williams was drafted earlier - round 2 vs. round 4. Still though, Tar Heel.

Spoiler:

I know, right? I've stopped paying attention to college football until it's time for the NFL draft. Between NFL (3 days a week) and rugby, I'm maxxed out on full-contact sports.

Weddle 74 - 2/8
-------
BBBBBBB

I'm not going to flood this thread with Weddle scores but I thought this was hilarious.

Spoiler:

Gardner Minshew straight into Travis Kelce.

*Legion* wrote:

Deshaun Watson is already accumulating stats in 2022.

He's picked up another lawsuit. A 23rd accuser has joined the fray, stating that they changed their mind about filing suit after watching the HBO Real Sports piece on Watson that aired last week.

Quote USA Today:

The new lawsuit states that the woman did not want to do a third massage on Watson after her first two encounters with him in Houston. But she could not refuse Watson as a client because her boss at the massage spa, Dionne Louis, wanted Watson as a client, according to the lawsuit filed in Harris County, Texas. The woman learned Watson paid Louis $5,000 for Louis’s “work,” and the lawsuit includes an exhibit of the apparent Cash App receipt. Other plaintiffs also have been associated with Louis.

The national average for a 90-minute sports massage session is supposedly around $100-200. Whatever could Watson have had in mind when dropping $5000?

Well, I am glad the Browns assigned him 22 like I wanted, by the time the season starts he may need to be the first player with a 3-digit number.

I hate football right now.

iaintgotnopants wrote:

Weddle 74 - 2/8
-------
BBBBBBB

I'm not going to flood this thread with Weddle scores but I thought this was hilarious.

Spoiler:

Gardner Minshew straight into Travis Kelce.

lol

Spoiler:

I did the same thing but with Garoppolo as the opener, which gave me one yellow box (age).

Not a lot of over-30 skill position guys that are above 6'2", in the AFC, and aren't quarterbacks. I almost guessed Marcedes Lewis but he's NFC, and he was too much older than Garoppolo for the age box to be yellow.

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

Well, I am glad the Browns assigned him 22 like I wanted, by the time the season starts he may need to be the first player with a 3-digit number.

One more accuser, and he'll be up to Nick Chubb's jersey number.

Four more and it's Kareem Hunt's number. They can be sh*tbags together.

There's a little less magick in the NFL today.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is retiring.

With 9 NFL teams to his name, Fitz comes in just shy of J.T. O'Sullivan's record of 11. Though Fitz actually started games for all 9 teams.

How did he not play for the Cleveland Browns?

He was an adult and he didn't molest anyone.

I wish he had been able to play a full last season in 2021. A great career nonetheless.

The helmet throw (Dolphins-Raiders, Dec 2020) was peak Fitzmagic.

I don't know why I stayed up and watched that particular game -- I'm old and can barely make it to halftime of the TNF/SNF/MNF games -- but I'm glad I did.

*Legion* wrote:

He was an adult and he didn't molest anyone.

IMAGE(https://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/turnbuckle.gif)

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

He was an adult and he didn't molest anyone.

IMAGE(https://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/turnbuckle.gif)

I almost spit my drink out when I read that.

This would hurt me if I was still a Browns fan.

Deshaun Watson's lawyer contends a "happy ending" is not a crime. Whether or not that is true is not relevant as much as the fact that, if you were to make a list of "Incredibly Dumb Things I Could Say As Deshaun Watson's Lawyer", that statement would be quite high up on the list.