Parenting Catch-all

16 month old poked me in the eye this morning while I was sleeping. Hell of a way to wake up. Slept another half hour. Then woke up for work, put on my glasses, and I couldn't see out of that eye. And it was throbbing a bit.

Gently wiped glasses.

Furiously cleaned glasses.

Nope still can't see.

f*ck. Emailed boss. Googled eye trauma and read with my good eye. Apparently vision should return in hours to a day. If not seek help. Took some ibuprofen and iced a bit. Lay back in bed with eyes closed. Dozed a bit.

Woke up after noon. Tentatively tried glasses. I can see again!

Whew. Crazy morning. Kids huh?

lunchbox12682 wrote:

One thing our soccer club did was parents who coached got a discount on child registration. Given the lack of volunteers in so many orgs, I'm shocked this isn't more common. As opposed to what is actually more common where as a volunteer you get to spend more of your money along with more of your time.

That's a good idea. I'll suggest it at our next board meeting when we are trying to find parents to ref and coach.

EvilHomer3k wrote:
lunchbox12682 wrote:

One thing our soccer club did was parents who coached got a discount on child registration. Given the lack of volunteers in so many orgs, I'm shocked this isn't more common. As opposed to what is actually more common where as a volunteer you get to spend more of your money along with more of your time.

That's a good idea. I'll suggest it at our next board meeting when we are trying to find parents to ref and coach.

It’s funny, I’ve coached my son’s teams for the last 15 years. He is a senior now and this basketball season is my last. We live in Northern Virginia and we always receive emails from the leagues begging for coaches. The best we had was soccer where the league reached out early to parents and did really good training so that parents had an idea about how to structure practice and sample drills.

I was volunteered into coaching lacrosse- they said that since I coached basketball and soccer, I could coach lacrosse even though I had never even seen a game.

The bottom line is that most parents don’t want to work, they want someone else do the work. But to me, I loved running around with the boys. It’s a decent amount of work but anyone can do it. Another option would be for your league to ask retiring coaches to come back and mentor new coaches so that the parents feel more comfortable

Stele wrote:

16 month old poked me in the eye this morning while I was sleeping. Hell of a way to wake up. Slept another half hour. Then woke up for work, put on my glasses, and I couldn't see out of that eye. And it was throbbing a bit.

Gently wiped glasses.

Furiously cleaned glasses.

Nope still can't see.

f*ck. Emailed boss. Googled eye trauma and read with my good eye. Apparently vision should return in hours to a day. If not seek help. Took some ibuprofen and iced a bit. Lay back in bed with eyes closed. Dozed a bit.

Woke up after noon. Tentatively tried glasses. I can see again!

Whew. Crazy morning. Kids huh? :D

Been there, done that, had the corneal abrasion - I feel your pain. Those tiny fingernails are brutal! Glad to hear your vision is already improved though. Moisturizing eyedrops are definitely your friend if you have lingering discomfort.

Comment, edit...you know the drill.

EvilHomer3k wrote:
lunchbox12682 wrote:

One thing our soccer club did was parents who coached got a discount on child registration. Given the lack of volunteers in so many orgs, I'm shocked this isn't more common. As opposed to what is actually more common where as a volunteer you get to spend more of your money along with more of your time.

That's a good idea. I'll suggest it at our next board meeting when we are trying to find parents to ref and coach.

Wait, you don't pay your refs?

sometimesdee wrote:
EvilHomer3k wrote:
lunchbox12682 wrote:

One thing our soccer club did was parents who coached got a discount on child registration. Given the lack of volunteers in so many orgs, I'm shocked this isn't more common. As opposed to what is actually more common where as a volunteer you get to spend more of your money along with more of your time.

That's a good idea. I'll suggest it at our next board meeting when we are trying to find parents to ref and coach.

Wait, you don't pay your refs?

It might depend on the level. For the youngest kids, I can see not and it's just another volunteer position since it's mostly teaching anyway.
For anything older (roughly 4th grade and up), I hope they are.

sometimesdee wrote:
EvilHomer3k wrote:
lunchbox12682 wrote:

One thing our soccer club did was parents who coached got a discount on child registration. Given the lack of volunteers in so many orgs, I'm shocked this isn't more common. As opposed to what is actually more common where as a volunteer you get to spend more of your money along with more of your time.

That's a good idea. I'll suggest it at our next board meeting when we are trying to find parents to ref and coach.

Wait, you don't pay your refs?

Much of that is that the national organization (AYSO.org), is founded on being an all volunteer organization. Different regions can handle things slightly differently but the general idea is that everyone is a volunteer to keep costs as low as possible. How low?

A full year of soccer in my region is $87 not including uniform. Uniforms are used for a minimum of 3 years and are $40 for a set (home/away). So, for a new player, the cost is $127. That includes fall and spring soccer as well as playoff week for 10U and above. In all, it's about 25 games. And for kids who can't afford that, we offer assistance with the fees. I don't know the exact percentage but the vast majority of the costs go to fees for renting game fields.

I'm intrigued by the idea of paying refs but I'm not sure it's feasible while still keeping the costs at an absolute minimum.

There is also an AYSO United club program that pays coaches and refs but the cost for that is $750 per year plus travel expenses and other fees. We also have a few other club organizations that are $1000 or more.

EvilHomer3k wrote:
sometimesdee wrote:
EvilHomer3k wrote:
lunchbox12682 wrote:

One thing our soccer club did was parents who coached got a discount on child registration. Given the lack of volunteers in so many orgs, I'm shocked this isn't more common. As opposed to what is actually more common where as a volunteer you get to spend more of your money along with more of your time.

That's a good idea. I'll suggest it at our next board meeting when we are trying to find parents to ref and coach.

Wait, you don't pay your refs?

Much of that is that the national organization (AYSO.org), is founded on being an all volunteer organization. Different regions can handle things slightly differently but the general idea is that everyone is a volunteer to keep costs as low as possible. How low?

A full year of soccer in my region is $87 not including uniform. Uniforms are used for a minimum of 3 years and are $40 for a set (home/away). So, for a new player, the cost is $127. That includes fall and spring soccer as well as playoff week for 10U and above. In all, it's about 25 games. And for kids who can't afford that, we offer assistance with the fees. I don't know the exact percentage but the vast majority of the costs go to fees for renting game fields.

I'm intrigued by the idea of paying refs but I'm not sure it's feasible while still keeping the costs at an absolute minimum.

There is also an AYSO United club program that pays coaches and refs but the cost for that is $750 per year plus travel expenses and other fees. We also have a few other club organizations that are $1000 or more.

Ignoring the travel/club teams since those go nuts, we do pay our refs (soccer and other sports) since it's usually high school or college kids depending on the level of play. But I understand the goal of AYSO.

I mean, it's not a *lot* of money, but I've seen refs get a couple hundred bucks a season (by "seen," I mean I've done their tax returns). I'm not sure which organization it was from, though.

A few months ago, time has no meaning anymore, my daughter's kindergarten teacher sent home a small project for us parents to do. All it was for us to take either email or send a picture of something special we do as a family. It could be a holiday, tradition, or something specific to us. My daughter's class is pretty culturally mixed and she's half-Japanese. We looked through our photos, picked some pictures of us celebrating Setsubun last year, and wrote up a short email explaining when the holiday is celebrated (Feb. 3rd) and what's it about*.

Well, our daughter came home yesterday and told us her teacher celebrated Setsubun! She gave each of the children a cup of beans, made an oni masked, and had the kids throw the beans at her outside. I'm blown away. So happy to have her as our little girl's teacher.

*short explanation is that it's harvest about scaring away evil spirits of the past. This is represented by an adult in the household dressing up as an oni and terrorizing the children while the kids throw beans to ward off the oni. It's great fun.

My 9-year-old's Scout den held their annual Pinewood Derby today. All good fun, except... I couldn't help noticing that most of the best cars (and the top two, in particular) were designed and constructed identically. Wonder why?

Well, I know why: because they must have Googled "how to build the fastest Pinewood Derby car" and followed the same online tutorial to the letter. And when I say "they", I mean "their dads."

Probably petty on my part, but it annoyed me. The way I see it, the Pinewood Derby is a chance for the kids to use their creativity and build something unique and fun. What's the point of following a soulless step-by-step, that you haven't come up with yourself, just so you can win?

I hate when parents do stuff like that. Teaching their kid all the wrong lessons.

Tasty Pudding wrote:

My 9-year-old's Scout den held their annual Pinewood Derby today. All good fun, except... I couldn't help noticing that most of the best cars (and the top two, in particular) were designed and constructed identically. Wonder why?

Well, I know why: because they must have Googled "how to build the fastest Pinewood Derby car" and followed the same online tutorial to the letter. And when I say "they", I mean "their dads."

Probably petty on my part, but it annoyed me. The way I see it, the Pinewood Derby is a chance for the kids to use their creativity and build something unique and fun. What's the point of following a soulless step-by-step, that you haven't come up with yourself, just so you can win?

Insert long rant about scouting here. I have several dead horses I have been wailing on lately.
With that off my chest, yup.
Both for PWD, in particular, and everything else in general where a kid should be working on a project.
We had ours last night. It went well. My daughter once again got best "not a car". She doesn't care how fast it goes, just how it looks. She loves designing it.
My son was a little more disheartened that his wasn't faster. He did win fastest in his den... of 1. It wasn't bad overall, but there's no way he's getting the speed of those others.
I have them make their own with limited help and limitations on what tools they are allowed to use. It's definitely obvious that others do not hold to those same limitations

We definitely don't check how closely each car adheres to the rules other than weight. Did your pack?

lunchbox12682 wrote:

We definitely don't check how closely each car adheres to the rules other than weight. Did your pack?

They weighed the cars and made sure they were narrow enough to fit on the track, and that was all.

Possibly my annoyance today was amplified by the fact that I really don't like the Scouts as an organization. I've tried, but all the uniform-wearing and the saluting and the "respecting the flag"... well, let's just say it's not my thing. Not really my son's thing, either, but a lot of his friend are in it, and he enjoys the social aspect, so... whatever.

LeapingGnome wrote:

I hate when parents do stuff like that. Teaching their kid all the wrong lessons.

Yeah, teaching kids you can just Google the answers to questions and copy the results is how we wind up with software developers.

stupidhaiku wrote:
LeapingGnome wrote:

I hate when parents do stuff like that. Teaching their kid all the wrong lessons.

Yeah, teaching kids you can just Google the answers to questions and copy the results is how we wind up with software developers.

Your parents giving you everything is how we get CEOs.

Tasty Pudding wrote:
lunchbox12682 wrote:

We definitely don't check how closely each car adheres to the rules other than weight. Did your pack?

They weighed the cars and made sure they were narrow enough to fit on the track, and that was all.

Possibly my annoyance today was amplified by the fact that I really don't like the Scouts as an organization. I've tried, but all the uniform-wearing and the saluting and the "respecting the flag"... well, let's just say it's not my thing. Not really my son's thing, either, but a lot of his friend are in it, and he enjoys the social aspect, so... whatever.

As a former scout (albeit in Australia), that stuff didn't really rub off on much, if they have your kid doing a good portion of camping/outdoor exploring/knots/badge earning I'd say it's worth it.

Also Vector, that teacher sounds rad, Japanese traditions are pretty awesome, especially Setsubun, gotta be the pick if the bunch that came back to class with the kids, I'm not surprised.

I'm coming back to this thread since I don't think there's a better one.
Sort of following up to my earlier rant, coaching and kids...
5th and 6th grade boys are such aholes.
I likely have to boot (either explicitly or implicitly if they don't like the outcome) from my basketball team.
The kids can just be so sh*tty to each other.

Ok, new rant over.

I remember one time on 7th grade basketball team a guy got ganged up on and duct taped in the locker room before practice. Like fully wrapped around his arms. Just one of many season long things that happened but that one stood out.

I felt sh*tty for not stopping it but I didn't want those jerks picking on me. I think there was one main instigator and if we could have got rid of him the bullying would have mostly stopped.

Good luck

Yep with kids definitely one bad apple can cause lots of problems.

How do you all handle underachievement in education with your children?

Report cards came home and let's just say there was no way to score lower on the standardized test, as in, might not have even out their name down. Performance on this test is massively lower than past exams.

N=1, BUT.

Am scheduling time with teacher to get more context.

Very interested in those with more experience.

Top_Shelf wrote:

How do you all handle underachievement in education with your children?

Report cards came home and let's just say there was no way to score lower on the standardized test, as in, might not have even out their name down. Performance on this test is massively lower than past exams.

N=1, BUT.

Am scheduling time with teacher to get more context.

Very interested in those with more experience.

Is it a single test or multiple points within one set of results?
Bad days happen, but it's good to dig into why.
I haven't run into the same specifics, but even when my kids get any wrong I try to dig in and understand why (confusion of material, the test question oddly worded, other things at school, etc.).

Good luck.

Top_Shelf wrote:

How do you all handle underachievement in education with your children?

Report cards came home and let's just say there was no way to score lower on the standardized test, as in, might not have even out their name down. Performance on this test is massively lower than past exams.

N=1, BUT.

Am scheduling time with teacher to get more context.

Very interested in those with more experience.

Was this iReady, by chance?

No, it's the common core stuff elementary school kids are doing here on WA state. Third grade reading/math assessment.

Top_Shelf wrote:

How do you all handle underachievement in education with your children?

Report cards came home and let's just say there was no way to score lower on the standardized test, as in, might not have even out their name down. Performance on this test is massively lower than past exams.

N=1, BUT.

Am scheduling time with teacher to get more context.

Very interested in those with more experience.

Can they see the board?

Have they been tested for dyslexia (or one of it's varieties)?

How about ADHD or anxiety?

Did something happen that morning/afternoon at school prior to the test?

If it's just a one-off, I would lean towards something happening the morning of that threw them off, but I wouldn't rule out something medical.

Top_Shelf wrote:

No, it's the common core stuff elementary school kids are doing here on WA state. Third grade reading/math assessment.

I'm in WA as well, thought maybe your kid was using the same diagnostic platform our district is using, which is terrible. I wouldn't put a seconds-worth of thought into whatever iReady spits out. My son said it got so boring he would just put in random answers sometimes because it didn't seem to affect the level of difficulty of questions it gave him, despite it supposedly adjusting in real time.

mudbunny wrote:
Top_Shelf wrote:

How do you all handle underachievement in education with your children?

Report cards came home and let's just say there was no way to score lower on the standardized test, as in, might not have even out their name down. Performance on this test is massively lower than past exams.

N=1, BUT.

Am scheduling time with teacher to get more context.

Very interested in those with more experience.

Can they see the board?

Have they been tested for dyslexia (or one of it's varieties)?

How about ADHD or anxiety?

Did something happen that morning/afternoon at school prior to the test?

If it's just a one-off, I would lean towards something happening the morning of that threw them off, but I wouldn't rule out something medical.

This is a good call out. His teacher (new in last few weeks after parental leave) says he's seemed sad in the classroom, attributes it to the toll of Covid. I've observed behavior issues at home since holidays (peak work season for my wife so I'm 100% on parenting duties and I've got plenty of work stress), and he's likely overburdened on after school stuff (has even said he feels too busy).

So. Those are all things to look at.

Top_Shelf wrote:
mudbunny wrote:
Top_Shelf wrote:

How do you all handle underachievement in education with your children?

Report cards came home and let's just say there was no way to score lower on the standardized test, as in, might not have even out their name down. Performance on this test is massively lower than past exams.

N=1, BUT.

Am scheduling time with teacher to get more context.

Very interested in those with more experience.

Can they see the board?

Have they been tested for dyslexia (or one of it's varieties)?

How about ADHD or anxiety?

Did something happen that morning/afternoon at school prior to the test?

If it's just a one-off, I would lean towards something happening the morning of that threw them off, but I wouldn't rule out something medical.

This is a good call out. His teacher (new in last few weeks after parental leave) says he's seemed sad in the classroom, attributes it to the toll of Covid. I've observed behavior issues at home since holidays (peak work season for my wife so I'm 100% on parenting duties and I've got plenty of work stress), and he's likely overburdened on after school stuff (has even said he feels too busy).

So. Those are all things to look at.

If you don't mind saying, what age/grade?
While each age has its issues, some seem to really double down on emotional stress of the kids. For example, 5th graders are insane while 2nd graders are just a bit nuts.

New teacher might be an issue too. Not a problem exactly but the change. Maybe really liked the temp/sub?