NFL 2021: The Week 18 (!!!) thread

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Hard to believe I'm writing "the Week 18 thread" instead of "the Wild Card thread" or "the Playoffs thread." It feels weird and unnatural and downright icky, sort of like knowing that HEY DARNOLD will be your team's starting QB not just this week but next year as well.

PS: I probably should have put a trigger warning on the header pic. But if you watched Eagle fans nearly fall to their deaths at WFT's sewage-filled stadium or saw an obviously messed up Antonio Brown have a very public third-quarter meltdown, you can handle a photo of a proud city celebrating a two-time (ALLEGED!) rapist and an overall miserable pr!ck. Don't bash ol' Ben for being immature and making a few mistakes.

QAaron is a jackass, too. Oh, and AB is still on the Bucs' roster because the Bucs are deep into CYA mode over the whole thing.

Sometimes I wonder why I watch this f**king sport. I really do.

Anyway ...

PLAYOFF WATCH

This week's big ON THE FIELD story is the playoffs.

Who's in:

NFC: Packers*, Rams, Bucs*, Cowboys*, Cardinals and Eagles

AFC: Titans*, Chiefs*, Bengals*, Bills and Patriots

(* = clinched division title)

Lots of things still to be decided:

Two more AFC playoff teams: Colts are in if they beat the Jags, and the winner of the Chargers-Raiders game is in. The Steelers and Ravens also have a shot (but only if the Colts lose, I think; this sh!t is confusing).

The seventh NFC playoff team: Niners get in the playoffs if they beat the Rams OR if the Saints lose to the Falcons. The Saints get in if they win AND the Niners lose. (Go Niners! Go Falcons!)

AFC's home-field advantage: It's the Titans' to lose. If they beat the Texans, the Titans have home field throughout. If they lose, well, it gets complicated again and involves multiple good teams (Chiefs, Bengals, Patriots) all losing for the Titans to keep the top seed. The Packers already have bagged the NFC's home-field advantage.

NFC West: Rams win it if they beat the Niners OR if the Cardinals lose to the Seahawks. The Cards win it if they win AND the Rams lose.

AFC East: Bills win the division if they beat the Jets. If the Bills lose, the Patriots get it if they beat the Dolphins.

Click here if you want more who's in/who's out stuff.

Looking ahead, FiveThirtyEight's NFL prediction machine is forecasting a Packers-Chiefs Super Bowl and gives the Packers a 28 percent chance of winning the damn thing.

POWER RANKINGS

Via ESPN this week:

1. Packers (2 last week)
2. Chiefs (1)
3. Buccaneers (4)
4. Rams (5)
5. Titans (8)

Biggest gainers: Cards (8th) and Raiders (14th) are both +3 for the week.

Biggest loser: Colts (-6 to 12th)

IMAGE OF THE WEEK #1

Via Next Gen Stats, here's the animation of the Bengals' Ja'Marr Chase catching a 72-yard TD from Joe Burrow.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/d0SKAZl.jpg)

Chase is the dot with the ball. He's surrounded by 1, 2, 3, 4 .... 25! TWENTY-FIVE CHIEFS PLAYERS! AT LEAST!!! No shade on the Chiefs D, but Chase is unbelievable (and untouchable). Here's the animation, and here's a video compilation of Chase's monster day on Sunday.

IMAGE OF THE WEEK #2

Chill dude is chill:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/9wB4vPb.png)

More here, including video of the railing giving way right as Jalen Hurts strolls by.

STATS OF THE WEEK

1. According to Warren Sharp, the Giants are the only NFL team in the past five years to have not been above .500. It looks like they were 2-2 in 2019 but never managed to get into .501 or better territory.

Even the Panthers have had a winning record at some point in the past five years. That said, the Panthers lost to this sorry franchise this year by three touchdowns. I hate this game.

2. Speaking of the Giants, the Giants in Sunday's game had the lowest net passing yards THIS CENTURY.

The Giants managed just negative 10 passing yards in their 29-3 loss to the Bears. (24 passing yards minus 34 yards lost on sacks = minus 10 passing yards)

Your Giants QB in Sunday's game was none other than Mike Glennon, beloved for his neck and celebrated in this Hall of Fame GIF:

IMAGE(https://ftw.usatoday.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/90/2013/12/glennon1.gif)

The low-water mark? It's held by the Chargers, who had minus 19 net passing yards in a 1998 game. Ryan Leaf (of course) went 1 for 15.

Speaking of Ryan Leaf, some have called him "easily the greatest quarterback of all time" who had fewer career incompletions, interceptions, sacks and lost fumbles than the guy picked ahead of him, Peyton something-or-other.

Here's video proof of Leaf's greatness, by god:

See if you can find the taunting penalty, the horse collar tackle and the baseball infield! The late 20th century was wild, y'all.

PANTHERS PLAY OF THE WEEK

Me on Sunday realizing the Panthers game is about to come on:

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/LPUNCIh6y2vTpUT07T/giphy.gif)

I skipped it. It's bad enough having to watch Taysom Hill. But watching Hill *and* a QB who hasn't scored a TD (by running or passing) for TWENTY ONE STRAIGHT QUARTERS? Hard pass (pun intended because it's hard to watch those two jerks try to pass the ball and life, like Drew Brees, is too short).

WEEK 18 SCHEDULE

(Click here for coverage maps)

Thursday night: No games!

Saturday: Chiefs at Broncos (4:30p, ESPN), Cowboys at Eagles (8:15p, ESPN)

Sunday early: Packers at Lions, Colts at Duuuuuuval (in the Clown Out Bowl), Footbrawlers at Giants, Bears at Vikings, Titans at Texans, *Steelers at Ravens*, Bengals at Browns (The No Baker No Burrow Bowl)

Sunday late: *Niners at Rams*, Panthers (boooooo) at Buccaneers, Seahawks at Cardinals,
Patriots at Dolphins, Saints at Falcons, Jets at Bills

Sunday night: **Chargers at Raiders** (NBC)

* end of the regular season! *

BONUS GAME: Alabama vs Georgia for the CFB championship, 8p Monday (ESPN)
... not technically an NFL game, but half these guys will be on NFL rosters within the next couple of years so it might as well be.

PS: This week's NFL schedule isn't filled with MAXIMUM DRAMA by accident. Chargers-Raiders got the Sunday night drama spot because it's the only game where both teams are playing a win-and-you're-in game. For more details on how the Week 18 games got slotted, check out this Sports Business Journal story.

BEFORE WE GO

The Delaware Clams, ladies and gentlemen!

"As coach of the Clams, I know it may take us a decade to get ready ..." ZING

Hey I get to watch Denver, Baltimore, and SF all on TV in NC this week. Nice coverage maps for once.

Well too late for Denver and Teddy still out probably. But maybe Lamar returns and the Jags make a miracle happen.

Good grief it's messier than I thought. Must be some SoS tiebreakers in there.

Baltimore Ravens

What to know: The Ravens' playoff hopes are dim after falling to the Rams. Baltimore is 11th in the conference, and needs a Week 18 win with some help in order to make the playoffs.

The Ravens can clinch a playoff berth with a win, plus losses by the Colts, Browns, Chargers and Dolphins.

I just wanted to point out the scenario where, if the Colts lose, the Chargers and the Raiders both make the playoffs if they tie. The LV-LAC game is SNF so they will know the result of the Colts game. I don't think they would ever do it on purpose but I would love to see it happen just because ties can happen.

Yeah you wouldn't see anybody going for 2 scoring in the last minute... just play for OT

You know, that Glennon gif really bothered me back in the days before Jameis was throwing pick-sixes five times a game. Now? Ah, I remember those days.

Also, I still think AB is just being held onto long enough to keep some WR-desperate team from taking a flyer on him in the playoffs. Not sure anybody would do that, but, well, you never know how badly some defensive coordinator might want some insight into whatever part of the playbook AB actually looked at.

Enix wrote:

(Go Niners! Go Falcons!)

I know this is only to spite the Saints, but I feel the solidarity anyway.

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:

(Go Niners! Go Falcons!)

Spoiler:

(SUCK IT SAINTS!!)

I know this is only to spite the Saints, but I feel the solidarity anyway.

Edited to include hidden text that Legion saw straightway

He also released screenshots of a conversation with Arians where Arians wanted him to be ready to play, AB said his ankle was sore, and Arians said let's talk about it, as if that was damning in some way? The best part is where he posted an exchange with Alex Guerrero where he demanded his money back, Guerrero said he'd send it back in a very nice a polite manner . . . and AB posted his routing number/bank account in the screenshots. So, he's still doing great.

Get Carr and sign Davante Adams and rebuild the Browns using the power of FRESNO STATE

TheGameguru wrote:

Joe Judge the Comedian?

https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/...

I love the "players calling me telling me they wish they were still Giants" bit.

I feel like there's an unspoken, "this new team actually expects things from me!" element going on there.

Raheem Mostert's 3-year-old son had to be rushed to the hospital after contracting COVID and developing a 103.5 degree fever.

Mostert himself is vaccinated (and showed himself getting the shot on Instagram, something we haven't seen enough from athletes), but obviously his kid is still too young to get the vaccine himself.

Fortunately, little Mostert is out of the hospital and recovering back at home.

One party in this dispute is definitely less credible than the other.

*Legion* wrote:

One party in this dispute is definitely less credible than the other.

Is it the toilet seat? I bet it's the toilet seat.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

One party in this dispute is definitely less credible than the other.

Is it the toilet seat? I bet it's the toilet seat.

She licked the toilet seat for a COVID challenge. Oh by the way, she has COVID.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

One party in this dispute is definitely less credible than the other.

Is it the toilet seat? I bet it's the toilet seat.

Absolutely the toilet seat has more credibility than AB and an influencer.

It's a shame the Draw Play didn't wait a day longer to do a comic on the subject.

Rat Boy wrote:

It's a shame the Draw Play didn't wait a day longer to do a comic on the subject.

How long can he wait? Today was post bank account numbers and bang toilet seat woman, and I kind of feel this saga is far from complete.

If the Ravens had been eliminated from the playoffs I'm pretty sure Lamar would be on IR. He's still not practicing.

garion333 wrote:

If the Ravens had been eliminated from the playoffs I'm pretty sure Lamar would be on IR. He's still not practicing.

Yup. And he probably should be regardless. He is just stuck in the contract year trap. He really should have gotten an agent to lock him up in the preseason. Even if he didn't get the contract he wanted, it would have better protected his interests. The really rotten injury luck the Ravens had this year really screwed them and him.

There were a couple things I didn't know despite living here. I knew exactly how much of a sh*tshow FedEx Field is, but I wasn't aware that the Cooke family put it in Landover to spite Biscotti or that Snyder changed the name of the town back to sh*t on the Cookes. Both are hilarious fails.

Snyder promising that he will build a new stadium by 2027 seems like an empty promise. I mean, who is he going be able to extort to fund it? Maryland and VA will probably tell him to gfh and DC doesn't have that kind of cash. Even threatening to move the team will likely get a laugh considering how truly dysfunctional that head office is. And there is nfw he is going to pony up the funds to build his own Jerryworld.

The only hope of the Reskins getting a new stadium is if Snyder gets hit by a runaway golf cart and a new owner cleans house and begs someplace like Chantilly for the money.

Paleocon wrote:

The only hope of the Reskins getting a new stadium is if Snyder gets hit by a runaway golf cart and a new owner cleans house and begs someplace like Chantilly for the money.

You bite your tongue, traffic out this way sucks bad enough without that sh*tshow. Put it down in Woodbridge, they deserve it.

Paleocon wrote:

Snyder promising that he will build a new stadium by 2027 seems like an empty promise. I mean, who is he going be able to extort to fund it? Maryland and VA will probably tell him to gfh and DC doesn't have that kind of cash. Even threatening to move the team will likely get a laugh considering how truly dysfunctional that head office is. And there is nfw he is going to pony up the funds to build his own Jerryworld.

I live locally and the last I had heard was that Prince William County was in the lead for building a small-ish stadium along with a large "mixed-use" area of shopping/hotels, etc around it. Seems funny to have a team called Washington play in Maryland and then move to Virginia, ha. At least Landover is still inside the beltway with DC. Prince William County is like 30 miles away.

ukickmydog wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

Snyder promising that he will build a new stadium by 2027 seems like an empty promise. I mean, who is he going be able to extort to fund it? Maryland and VA will probably tell him to gfh and DC doesn't have that kind of cash. Even threatening to move the team will likely get a laugh considering how truly dysfunctional that head office is. And there is nfw he is going to pony up the funds to build his own Jerryworld.

I live locally and the last I had heard was that Prince William County was in the lead for building a small-ish stadium along with a large "mixed-use" area of shopping/hotels, etc around it. Seems funny to have a team called Washington play in Maryland and then move to Virginia, ha. At least Landover is still inside the beltway with DC. Prince William County is like 30 miles away.

Meh. Not any stranger than both NYC teams playing in NJ.

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