NFL 2021: The Week 15 thread

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In a perfect world, I'd channel by inner MMD and lead off the weekly post with something highly amusing. But on a day HEY DARNOLD came off of injured reserve this week AND MIGHT PLAY IN AN NFL GAME THIS SEASON and because Urban Meyer is kicking his kickers (wide right, mostly likely) there is absolutely nothing I can write in this space that will be as funny as either of those two developments.

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Teddy B gets me.

GIF OF THE WEEK

From the Week 14 thread:

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Legion will have to explain it. All I see is the Jags running a pass play exactly as Urban Meyer drew it up.

Also:

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Nothing screams Flyover County like printing out things from the internet.

COACH OF THE YEAR WATCH

I can't believe no one commented on my HOT TAKE from last week's thread, and that Belichick is probably deserving of Coach of the Year honors. Anyway, we need something to argue about this week, and that's as good a topic as any.

SCORIGAMI WATCH

We had another one this week: Chiefs 48, Raiders 9. Hard to believe they keep coming but they do.

POWER RANKINGS

Via NFL.com this week:

1. Packers (1st last week)
2. Bucs (3)
3. Cardinals (2)
4. Chiefs (5)
5. Patriots (4)

Biggest gainer: Falcons +4 to 24th (which is an awful lot of credit to give for beating a team coached by Matt Rhule)

Biggest loser: Ravens (16th) and Raiders (25th) dropped four spots this week.

Fab five: Panthers (28), Jets (29), Lions (30), Texans (31), Jags (32). Woof.

IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY ...

AFC seeds (in order): Patriots (9-4), Titans (9-4), Chiefs (9-4), Ravens (8-5); Chargers (8-5), Colts (7-6), Bills (7-6)

AFC bubble teams: Browns (7-6), Bengals (7-6), Broncos (7-6)

NFC seeds (in order): Packers (10-3), Bucs (10-3), Cards (10-3), Cowboys (9-4); Rams (9-4), Niners (7-6), Footballers (6-7)

NFC bubble teams: Vikings, Eagles, Falcons and Saints are all a miserable 6-7. Show of hands for the NFC playoffs to include only six teams this year?

WEEK 15 SCHEDULE

With coverage maps.

Thursday night: *Chiefs at Chargers* (Fox, NFL, Amazon)

Saturday!!!: Raiders at Browns (4:30p), *Patriots at Colts* (815p); both on NFL

Sunday early: Cowboys at Giants, Texans at Jags (GARBAGE BOWL), Titans at Steelers, Jets at Dolphins, Footballers at Eagles, Cardinals at Lions, Panthers at Panthers North (aka Bills)

Sunday late: Bengals at Broncos, Falcons at Niners, Seahawks at Rams, Packers at Ravens (GOTW)

Sunday night: Saints at Bucs

Monday night: Vikings at Bears

Bye: None; we're done with that nonsense

BEFORE WE GO

In this blast from the past, here's Dick Butkus catching a PAT. Dude didn't get a flag for taunting because he's Dick Freakin Butkus and would have probably eaten the ref.

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Look at that big beautiful Jimmy G face in the banner. Enix taking good care of me with the Jimmy and Deebo banners while I suffer through Urban burning down the Jaguars organization.

Enix wrote:

Show of hands for the NFC playoffs to include only six teams this year?

Every damn year, please. There will be garbage teams every year now.

If Keenum looks good and they beat the Raiders, do they keep playing an injured Baker once he comes back from the covids?

Rat Boy in last week's thread wrote:

There may very well be conversations in the Khan camp about "How can we Al Davis our way out of this?"

Circling back around to this thought: they may have just found it. Assaulting a player may have thrown the door wide open for firing with cause. That's gonna fall on the wrong side of pretty much any standard conduct language in a contract.

A prominent Jags leaker simply tweeted "Hold on to your butts". So we'll see.

Paleocon wrote:

If Keenum looks good and they beat the Raiders, do they keep playing an injured Baker once he comes back from the covids?

No but it's the Browns so yes?

*Legion* wrote:

Look at that big beautiful Jimmy G face in the banner. Enix taking good care of me with the Jimmy and Deebo banners while I suffer through Urban burning down the Jaguars organization.

Gross. Not everything is about you, #Legion". Enix is merely spreading the holiday cheer by posting happy pics! It has nothing to do with you.

Ex-Jacksonville Jaguars player Josh Lambo alleges Urban Meyer kicked him; Trevor Lawrence says drama has to stop for team to win,

Just hours after Lawrence made that comment in his weekly news conference, a report surfaced from the Tampa Bay Times in which former Jaguars kicker Josh Lambo alleged that coach Urban Meyer kicked him in the leg while stretching in warm-ups before a practice during the week of the final preseason game.

Lambo said Meyer told him, "Hey Dips---, make your f---ing kicks!" and then kicked him in the leg. Lambo characterized the kick as a five out of 10 and then told the Tampa Bay Times he told Meyer: "Don't you ever f---ing kick me again!" Lambo said Meyer told him, "I'm the head ball coach. I'll kick you whenever the f--- I want.

Not to defame kickers too much (F*ck Roberto Aguayo, sorry, habit), but the idea that the almighty Urban Meyer could be tossed aside and lose tens of millions of dollars because he was a dick to a kicker . . . that would absolutely and utterly be:

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garion333 wrote:

Gross. Not everything is about you, #Legion". Enix is merely spreading the holiday cheer by posting happy pics!

You're right. Of course the rest of you want to see stud Niners pics. I'm glad we're all on the same page about which team should be occupying the weekly banners.

*Legion* wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Gross. Not everything is about you, #Legion". Enix is merely spreading the holiday cheer by posting happy pics!

You're right. Of course the rest of you want to see stud Niners pics. I'm glad we're all on the same page about which team should be occupying the weekly banners.

... They're 7-6. Let's not get carried away here.

While coaches kicking kickers is getting all the attention right now, there's still that little matter of Daniel Snyder allegedly interfering in the NFL's investigation into WFT and now Goodell's trying to downplay it.

garion333 wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Look at that big beautiful Jimmy G face in the banner. Enix taking good care of me with the Jimmy and Deebo banners while I suffer through Urban burning down the Jaguars organization.

Gross. Not everything is about you, #Legion". Enix is merely spreading the holiday cheer by posting happy pics! It has nothing to do with you.

This is mostly the right answer. If we have to look at the header pic for a week, I want to highlight a good photo, preferably of a nice moment because that's why we watch -- to see great athletes doing great things. The fact that it was a Niner and specifically Jimmy G was a bonus.

Next week I'll try to find fail just to keep y'all on your toes.

Moving right along to even happier news, this FO piece starts out by praising ATL DC Dean Pees (who was sharp on Sunday) and ends by laying the wood on the Panthers HC:

Football Outsiders wrote:

Rhule has also mismanaged the quarterback situation to an extent that might be beyond repair. Continuing to rotate in quarterbacks during the game like a college scheme isn't viable at the NFL level. Quarterbacks need to be able to get into a rhythm, and Rhule rotating in Newton and Walker within quarters as if they were playing a preseason game is poor roster management. Above all, I think the biggest thing is Rhule has shown an arrogance and pride in how he thinks the NFL works without any results to show for it.

No lies here!

Rat Boy wrote:

While coaches kicking kickers is getting all the attention right now, there's still that little matter of Daniel Snyder allegedly interfering in the NFL's investigation into WFT and now Goodell's trying to downplay it.

It's amazing how totally unequipped Urbz is to be a coach who doesn't have absolute power or absorb the kind of losing that just comes with being a NFL coach, especially at a rebuilding franchise like the Jaguars.

garion333 wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Look at that big beautiful Jimmy G face in the banner. Enix taking good care of me with the Jimmy and Deebo banners while I suffer through Urban burning down the Jaguars organization.

Gross. Not everything is about you, #Legion". Enix is merely spreading the holiday cheer by posting happy pics! It has nothing to do with you.

Yeah some of it's about me. Teddy!

Saturday games!

Dammit

The only 3 games I want to watch are all late Sunday. Ravens, Broncos, Niners.

Stele wrote:

Saturday games!

Dammit

The only 3 games I want to watch are all late Sunday. Ravens, Broncos, Niners.

I don't get that. Given records, injuries, and trends there is a good chance that the most competitive games could be played before Sunday. It starts tomorrow!

Just saying my team (Niners) and my guys (Teddy and Lamar) are all playing in the same window. One on TV and one on each monitor I guess.

Stele wrote:

The only 3 games I want to watch are all late Sunday. Ravens, Broncos, Niners.

That's more late games on Sunday than I usually want to watch.

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@Kofie wrote:

You know how bad you gotta be at your job to get fired at Nick at Nite hours?

the background noise to this dude's firing was a 25-year-old rerun of The Nanny

JOSH LAMBO ISN'T EVEN ON THE JAGUARS ROSTER ANYMORE AND HE JUST KICKED THEIR BIGGEST GAME WINNER OF THE SEASON

Current mood:

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Rat Boy wrote:
Stele wrote:

The only 3 games I want to watch are all late Sunday. Ravens, Broncos, Niners.

That's more late games on Sunday than I usually want to watch.

Hell some Sunday late windows only have TWO games.

Bye, Felicia

*Legion* wrote:

JOSH LAMBO ISN'T EVEN ON THE JAGUARS ROSTER ANYMORE AND HE JUST KICKED THEIR BIGGEST GAME WINNER OF THE SEASON

CLUTCH

I never thought I could be this happy to hear the words "Darrell Bevell is now your head coach".

So, do the Jags put Josh Lambo in their Ring of Honor on Sunday, or do they wait a few weeks to pretend to be respectful?

A few weeks ago, I hypothesized that the Jags/Texans game could be a coach Thunderdome situation, with whichever team that loses to the other pathetic 2-11 team dumping their coach.

If only I could go back and tell my slightly younger self that URBAN WON'T MAKE IT THAT FAR

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