Post a news story, entertain me!

Yah, f*ck him and Wholefoods

Whole Foods CEO John Mackey: The ‘best solution’ is to not need health care and for Americans to change how they eat and live

“I mean, honestly, we talk about health care. The best solution is not to need health care,” Mackey told Freakonomics Radio host Stephen Dubner in an episode released on Nov. 4.

This just in, car accidents can be solved by eating less gluten.

Apparently rice cakes are the best vaccine against COVID, guess we don't need those shots after all.

John Mackey: "Look, if you inherited a congenital disease, you've only got yourself to blame for not picking parents with better genetics."

Jonman wrote:

John Mackey: "Look, if you inherited a congenital disease, you've only got yourself to blame for not picking parents with better genetics diets."

Let's stay on topic here.

The article fails to mention Mackey is a libertarian, which clearly shows. Also when the only factor affecting your sleep is this:

Mackey, 67, himself is a vegan who meditates daily and monitors his own behaviors to make healthful changes.

“I see how long I slept. I see the quality of my sleep. I see what my pulse rate was for the whole night,” Mackey told Dubner. “Any time I drink any alcohol at all, my deep sleep almost completely disappears, I don’t sleep as long, my pulse rate goes up. So, my body is trying to metabolize this alcohol. And I had no idea.”

You might just be part of the problem.

As a thought exercise, let's try doing some mad-lib-style comparisons here:

“I see how long I slept. I see the quality of my sleep. I see what my pulse rate was for the whole night,” Mackey told Dubner. “Any time I run out of food, my deep sleep almost completely disappears, I don’t sleep as long, my pulse rate goes up. So, my body is starving itself to death. And I had no idea.”

...

“I see how long I slept. I see the quality of my sleep. I see what my pulse rate was for the whole night,” Mackey told Dubner. “Any time I have to choose between electricity and rent, my deep sleep almost completely disappears, I don’t sleep as long, my pulse rate goes up. So, my body is freaking out about whether I'll have a roof over my head tomorrow. And I had no idea.”

Spin baby spin

The Sperm Kings Have a Problem: Too Much Demand

Many people want a pandemic baby, but some sperm banks are running low. So women are joining unregulated Facebook groups to find willing donors, no middleman required.

Botched Autopsy Brings Murder Victim Back To Life

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SANTA MARIA, CA—Leaving local community members shocked and heartbroken, a botched autopsy performed at Marian Regional Medical Center Wednesday had reportedly brought a murder victim back to life. “I realized his heart had started beating, and I knew I had made a terrible mistake,” said pathologist Dr. Kenneth Lepp, who expressed deep remorse as he described how the routine autopsy had gone completely off the rails. “I failed, and I acknowledge that it’s my fault this person is alive. I’m so sorry. I promise I did everything I could to stop it. I tried to reduce his oxygen levels, drain his blood, cut off his head—but nothing worked. I accept the fact this will probably cost me my license. And, of course, eventually I’ll have to face the patient’s family. I know they’re furious.” At press time, Dr. Lepp had added that although he wasn’t exactly sure how it happened, he vowed he would do everything in his power to make sure it never happened again.
Spoiler:

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This only confirms my suspicions that human children are secretly cuttlefish.

ruhk wrote:

This only confirms my suspicions that human children are secretly cuttlefish.

So I can stop feeling shame about how hungry my children make me?

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My daughter has recently relearned what a cuttlefish is and I find her hiding in the corner of the bathtub with her eyes closed asking if I can see her. She's done nothing to camouflage herself. Cuttlefish are FAR smarter than children.

My toddler is more of a cuddlebug.

Wait.... What?
By thefixer25

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On the subject of ship captains now seeking employment:

Behold the container ship Evergreen

Ship traffic:

IMAGE(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ExNYQXZUYAIKmSr?format=jpg&name=medium)

Probably easier for Mother Earth to recover from us just dying out than from nuclear war.

Nevin73 wrote:

Probably easier for Mother Earth to recover from us just dying out than from nuclear war.

Depends on how much plastic we pump into her before those same plastics do us in.

Eh global warming or plastic poison... addiction to oil is going to screw us one way or the other.

All this has happened before and will happen again