NFL 2020: Week 11

I aspire for these weekly NFL posts to be as glorious and as sublime as this catch. I mean, look at it! It's a modern-day Renaissance painting, of a mortal soaring beyond gravity's pull and plucking a miracle out of the heavens.

IMAGE(https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/25/2020/11/GettyImages-1285859052.jpg)

As you probably guessed, this won't be one of those weeks.

STOCK UP/STOCK DOWN

Stock up: Kyler Murray, everyone's shiny-new-penny pick for MVP because Patrick Mahomes was off last week. Murray's an exciting player, sort of a Brees-sized version of Lamar Jackson (but Murray is a better passer; discuss!). I watched that Hail Murray live, and it was absolutely amazing. Speaking of, Peter King's FMIA takes a deep-dive into that play.

Stock down: Seattle Seahawks, who can't play D and now all of a sudden can't play offense, either. I love watching Russell Wilson play, but he was miserable Sunday. Maybe it was the Rams, who are looking like a pretty decent bet to win the NFC because Aaron Donald and Jalen Ramsey are pretty good. Or maybe Wilson was just pressing because the Seahawks are down to their eight-string RB and Ramsey was on DK Metcalf like last year's jacket before we all put on the Covid 19. Or maybe Russ is just cooked. Whatever it is, it makes me sad.

Stock up: Big plays, and boy howdy were there a bunch this week. Tampa's Ronald Jones ripped off a 98-yard TD run against the Panthers. (Baldy breaks it down here.) Cordarrelle Patterson of the Bears ran back a kick 104 yards for a TD. Carolina's Trenton Cannon returned a kickoff 98 yards but somehow didn't score (because Carolina is cursed). And Keelan Cole of the Jags scored on a 91-yard punt return. Wheeee!

Stock down: Drew Brees. I still can't believe the Saints trotted him out there Sunday with three broken ribs. I'm the last guy to defend that finger-licking midget, but he could have gotten literally killed out there. He's lucky he's home with just five broken ribs and a punctured lung and not in an ICU somewhere. Meanwhile, I agree 100 percent with this take: "I have been hearing (praise for Hill) for too long, and I want it to stop. I want Hill to take every snap for the Saints for the next few games just so that we can all stop being forced to talk and think about his hypothetical abilities."

Stock up: Running out of bounds to seal the win. Apparently it's not a University of Georgia tradition to score when you don't mean to. In any case, Nick Chubb apparently learned from Todd Gurley's dumb example. I'll never get tired of watching this replay:

Stock down: Running out of bounds so your team doesn't cover the spread. Those big Vegas hotels didn't just grow in the desert all by themselves. They were watered with the money of suckers who bet on the Browns.

Stock down: Voting for Comeback Player of the Year. The fact that Alex Smith is walking, much less playing football, is a miracle of sorts and maybe a good reason to give him the award everyone has already decided to give him. But he plays for a sh!t team and a sh!t owner, and he has more INTs (3) than TD passes (1) and wins (0) combined in the three games he has played. Ben Roethlisberger is the Washington Football Team of QBs, but his throwing arm nearly fell off last season, and the dude is balling out this year.

Stock up: Classic uniforms, Dolphins vs Chargers edition. I was a huuuuge Miami fan growing up, and the Dolphins rolled out Sunday with the white-on-white throwbacks that I loved as a kid. (The aqua-on-white was kind of the big game party uniform; white over white meant business.) The Chargers have always had a strong uniform game, and they looked great on Sunday, too. But lost in the haze of jersey nostalgia was the fact that the Dolphins and Chargers played one of the best games -- no lie -- in NFL history.

This was the divisional round of the 1981 season. The pre-Dan Marino Dolphins (led by a 23-year-old David Woodley, who took Miami to a Super Bowl the next season) and the pre-Killer Bs defense were up against a terrifying Air Coryell Chargers team led by Dan Fouts, who threw for an NFL-record-at-the-time 4,802 yards that season to Charlie Joyner and Kellen Winslow. The Chargers went up 24-0 in the first quarter. Woodley was benched after throwing one pick and getting sacked three times. His replacement: career backup Don Strock, a graduate of that cradle of QBs, Virginia Tech. And then the Dolphins started scoring. Miami was down 24-10 with 6 seconds left in the half, and then this happened:

I still get chills when I see that play. And (spoiler alert!) I'm still heartbroken that the Dolphins lost this. Here's the NFL Films version of the game. It's a classic.

SCORIGAMI!

We had one this week: Bucs 46, Panthers 23.

Speaking of, if I'm reading the Scorigami chart correctly, the final score recorded most often in NFL history (267 times) is 20-17.

STAT OF THE WEEK NO. 1

Before Ronald Jones ran for a 98-yard TD because Carolina can't play g*ddamn defense, only three NFL players had done that previously. Those three: Tony Dorsett (who scored from 99 yards), Ahman Green and Derrick Henry (just two years ago).

The Dorsett run was ridiculous:

STAT OF THE WEEK NO. 2

Until the Vikings won one of the worst MNF games in recent memory, Kirk Cousins was a historically bad and all-time worst 0-9 on Monday night. Other winless QBs: Joe Namath and Archie Manning, who were both 0-6 on Monday night.

WEEK 11 SCHEDULE
(and your coverage maps, as usual)

Thursday: Cardinals at Seahawks (Fox, NFL, Amazon). Yes, please!

Sunday early: CIN-WFT, ATL-NO, PIT-JAX, NE-HOU, PHI-CLE, DET-CAR and TEN-BAL.
... Boy, that's a lousy bunch of games. I'll be watching the Panthers, of course, but probably not if Teddy isn't playing. (His backups are PJ Walker or Will Grier, depending on whether Matt Rhule wears the black smock or the blue smock.) The rest of y'all? Titans-Ravens.

Sunday late: Packers-Colts is clearly the best of a bad bunch, which is why it's game of the week.
... Also: Jets-Chargers, Dolphins-Broncos (which might be entertaining), Cowboys-Vikings

Sunday night: Chiefs-Raiders. This'll be fun.

Monday night: Rams-Bucs. Another good game.

Byes: Niners, New York Football Giants, IMAGE(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaaANll8h18), Bills

No Lamar on my coverage maps this week. Boo.

Love the throwback clips.

Every time I see a clip of the Falcons from this year I'm still stunned by the ATL. Dumbest thing on a jersey in a long, long time.

Bengals at WFT, Eagles at Browns, or clean out the basement. I know what I am doing 1-4 on Sunday

tboon wrote:

Bengals at WFT, Eagles at Browns, or clean out the basement. I know what I am doing 1-4 on Sunday

I read that as Bengals at WTF?
It still works.

sr_malo wrote:
tboon wrote:

Bengals at WFT, Eagles at Browns, or clean out the basement. I know what I am doing 1-4 on Sunday

I read that as Bengals at WTF?
It still works.

That's what I typed the first time. Should have just left it because you are right.

Really, the Washington WTFs would be a pretty great name considering how that franchise has been run.

Arizona (Phoenix) vs Seattle being a good game to watch would have meant to have your head checked out back in the 90's!

tboon wrote:
sr_malo wrote:
tboon wrote:

Bengals at WFT, Eagles at Browns, or clean out the basement. I know what I am doing 1-4 on Sunday

I read that as Bengals at WTF?
It still works.

That's what I typed the first time. Should have just left it because you are right.

Same. Tbh, WTF applies to most things that have happened this season.

tboon wrote:

Bengals at WFT, Eagles at Browns, or clean out the basement. I know what I am doing 1-4 on Sunday

Now that there's probably a 50-50 chance that neither Matthew "Matt" Stafford or Teddy Bridgewater will play Sunday, I suspect I might be available to help you w that basement, tboon

Enix wrote:
tboon wrote:

Bengals at WFT, Eagles at Browns, or clean out the basement. I know what I am doing 1-4 on Sunday

Now that there's probably a 50-50 chance that neither Matthew "Matt" Stafford or Teddy Bridgewater will play Sunday, I suspect I might be available to help you w that basement, tboon

Cool, I could use the help.

I can't wait to watch the Chiefs play against the Raiders defensive 3rd stringers.

From the last thread:

Rat Boy wrote:

There was a wild rumor going around earlier that Columbo got in a fistfight with Judge and was fired on the spot.

Well, about that...

*Legion* wrote:

From the last thread:

Rat Boy wrote:

There was a wild rumor going around earlier that Columbo got in a fistfight with Judge and was fired on the spot.

Well, about that...

Winning comment:

I can see where Judge would have gotten tired of the "Just one more thing" schtick.
*Legion* wrote:

From the last thread:

Rat Boy wrote:

There was a wild rumor going around earlier that Columbo got in a fistfight with Judge and was fired on the spot.

Well, about that...

What a low life dingus

Seachickens still the dirtiest f*ckers in the league. Pete can go to hell.

I have to humble brag on my Dad’s behalf.

We entered a Pick’Em league this year for all of Canada because fantasy football kind of sucks now so at least picking all the games gives you something to watch for. Long story short, I’ve not been great, bet the Bengals to win too many times and forgot a couple of weeks (leading to the auto pick of Jets over KC, shoot me), so I’m 1200th in a league of 6,600.

But my Dad is 5th!!!!!!! As of the Seahawks win he’s 5th out of 6,600 having gone 106-55 in his picks so far. Pretty darn cool (and lucky, so of course I’ve now cursed him)

That is so cool! Hope he maintains the momentum!

*BREAKING*

Jameis isn't starting Sunday, which is a hell of an indictment of him.

I'm upgrading Saints-Falcons from WHO CARES to MUST WATCH.

PS: We're all Falcons fans Sunday, as much as that pains me to type.

IMAGE(https://media2.giphy.com/media/5mBE2MiMVFITS/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952qu9y9d6uhf73ccyjncmbv3zv3dov3c5h9x9kscbo&rid=giphy.gif)

Enix wrote:

*BREAKING*

Jameis isn't starting Sunday, which is a hell of an indictment of him.

I love that the guy threw 30 picks last year including IIRC SEVEN pick-sixes, and *this* is what counts as an indictment of him.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
Enix wrote:

*BREAKING*

Jameis isn't starting Sunday, which is a hell of an indictment of him.

I love that the guy threw 30 picks last year including IIRC SEVEN pick-sixes, and *this* is what counts as an indictment of him.

If Jameis is good at something, it's avoiding indictments.

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:
Enix wrote:

*BREAKING*

Jameis isn't starting Sunday, which is a hell of an indictment of him.

I love that the guy threw 30 picks last year including IIRC SEVEN pick-sixes, and *this* is what counts as an indictment of him.

If James is good at something, it's avoiding indictments.

IMAGE(https://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/drum.gif)

Jameis Winston going 30 and 30 last year was probably the last time we collectively felt joy in this community and shame on New Orleans for trying to deny us even a tenth of that feeling again.

So how long before Jameis IS the QB in NOLA? Two weeks? One? Halftime?

Or does Payton stubbornly stick with nevermind I already knew this was the correct answer before I finished the sentence.

*Legion* wrote:

So how long before Jameis IS the QB in NOLA? Two weeks? One? Halftime?

Or does Payton stubbornly stick with nevermind I already knew this was the correct answer before I finished the sentence.

I guess it's his . . . Hill to die on?

IMAGE(https://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/drum.gif)

Stele wrote:

Seachickens still the dirtiest f*ckers in the league. Pete can go to hell.

This is 'Merica -- if you're not cheating, you're not trying. That said, if that defense is cheating constantly and they're still the worst defense I've ever watched, they should really work on cheating better.

The Niners claimed pass rusher Takk McKinley off waivers, but he failed his physical and was cut. So now players are dying before they even get on the Niners roster.

And hey, Brandon Aiyuk and Trent Williams are back on the COVID list. Because even a bye week can't get starters back onto the field.

PFT throwing shade on the Lions:

PFT wrote:

QB Matthew Stafford (right thumb) practiced the last two days and the Lions have listed him as questionable. If he does play, he won’t have WR Danny Amendola (hip), WR Kenny Golladay (hip), and RB D'Andre Swift (concussion) with him on offense.

So this game will be unwatchable, in other words, even if Teddy B plays (which he might not, because he's questionable, too).

Meanwhile, speaking of questionable decisions, the Saints put Drew Brees on the three-week IR, which means the Taysom Hill era (error?) will go through at least through Week 13.

I don't understand why Hill's starting either. The only explanation that makes sense to me (and it's not my idea; can't recall the source) is that Sean Payton is envious of the other Kool Kids who have running QBs. Also, too, he might be tired of an offense that's nothing but quick slants and screens.

Enix wrote:

Also, too, he might be tired of an offense that's nothing but quick slants and screens.

I'm pretty sure a Taysom Hill passing game is mostly going to be that, though.

Jameis is the guy that can make throws to every level of the field. Sometimes to his own team even!

*Legion* wrote:
Enix wrote:

Also, too, he might be tired of an offense that's nothing but quick slants and screens.

I'm pretty sure a Taysom Hill passing game is mostly going to be that, though.

Jameis is the guy that can make throws to every level of the field. Sometimes to his own team even!

Yeah, one thing is Jameis can make every throw, whether or not it's a good idea. Jameis ruining a Sean Payton season would be perfection.