NFL 2020: Week 5

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My work week has sucked @ss, which means you get a lame Week 5 thread. CONGRATULATIONS!

Just a few notes as we hit the quarter pole of the season:

* If the season ended today, here are your playoff teams (in no particular order):

NFC
Division winners: Seahawks, Bucs, Eagles (!), Packers
Wild cards: Rams, Bears and either Niners/Cards/Panthers(!)/Saints (y'all figure out that last spot)

AFC
Division winners: Titans, Bills, Chiefs, Steelers
Wild cards: Colts, Browns, Ravens

... I may be wrong, but that's my best guess. I don't do tiebreakers.

... Oh, my Super Bowl pick out of that mess? Chiefs 98, Seahawks 82 because all the NFL defenses this season are straight out of the Big 12.

* Chiefs 98, Seahawks 82 would be a Scorigami. Speaking of, we had another one in Week 4: Saints 35, Lions 29.

* Stat of the week: Dak Prescott is on pace to throw for 6,760 yards this season. I think that would be a record.

* TV stat of the week: When the Chiefs and Patriots played Monday, the two head coaches (Belichick and Reid) had combined for 485 career coaching wins. The last time two coaches with more wins faced each other was Nov. 22, 1987, when Don Shula's Dolphins beat Tom Landry's Cowboys. Shula (1st), Belichick (3rd), Landry (4th) and Reid (7th) all rank in the top 10 in career coaching wins.

* Related stat: Pete Carroll (third among active coaches, 23rd all time) would have to win 74 more games to catch Reid and 191 to catch Shula. I don't think there's such a thing as an unbreakable record, but Shula's 328 career coaching wins might be the one exception to that rule.

* Can I say a quick word about my Panthers? They don't suck! They won a winnable game against a wonuded Cardinals team, and that's the difference between 3-13 (which they could still do) and 8-8 (which is the team's historic norm and probably their 2020 season).

* Week 5!

Here are your Week 5 coverage maps so you can see what sucky games are on your TV.

National games:

Thursday night: Bucs-Bears. Eh, pass unless you're MMD or a fan of TB12 or BDN.

Sunday early: Most everyone gets Raiders-Chiefs (fun!) or Eagles-Steelers (eh)

Sunday late: Giants-Cowboys (train wreck) for most of the nation

Sunday night: Vikings-Seahawks. (Didn't Schitt's Creek just drop its last season on Netflix?)

Monday: Chargers-Saints (hard hard pass)

... not a great week. But we'll watch because that's what we do, right?

Enix wrote:

Monday: Chargers-Saints (hard hard pass)

Bro, and miss out on Taysom Hill and his... *checks last week's stats*... 3 carries for 6 yards, and 1 catch for 8 yards? He's got 56 yards from scrimmage on the season. A 50 burger bro!

I get Bengals at Balmers and Rams at Football Team.

I think I will clean out the basement.

Ooh I like coverage maps

Well, the Bucs top four WRs were on the injury report, and Chris Godwin and Justin Watson are out, while Mike Evans will be a gametime decision. So, you can watch Brady getting mad at guys you've never heard of when they run the wrong routes.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

So, you can watch Brady getting mad at guys you've never heard of when they run the wrong routes.

I won't lie: That's actually kind of fun to watch.

Meanwhile, there's another positive test among the Titans, and the Titans-Bills game is in jeopardy. Sunday's game might move to Mon or Tues or not played at all, according to Twitter, which could change its collective mind twice more before lunch.

Enix wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

So, you can watch Brady getting mad at guys you've never heard of when they run the wrong routes.

I won't lie: That's actually kind of fun to watch.

So, just like last year.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/SStSJtb.jpg)

Not sure why I would need the two faces

*Legion* wrote:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/SStSJtb.jpg)

Not sure why I would need the two faces

It's Florida, so there's the "watching the Jags game" face and the "meth" face.

IMAGE(http://djh9ptucay4fu.cloudfront.net/c.1116312/site/oyoji/images/NegativeOYOJIproduct.jpg)

I think this would work for most fan bases, except maybe the Chiefs and a couple of others.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Well, the Bucs top four WRs were on the injury report, and Chris Godwin and Justin Watson are out, while Mike Evans will be a gametime decision. So, you can watch Brady getting mad at guys you've never heard of when they run the wrong routes.

IT'S TYLER JOHNSON TIME!

iaintgotnopants wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Well, the Bucs top four WRs were on the injury report, and Chris Godwin and Justin Watson are out, while Mike Evans will be a gametime decision. So, you can watch Brady getting mad at guys you've never heard of when they run the wrong routes.

IT'S TYLER JOHNSON TIME!

Sure, him and, uh . . . Cyril Grayson. Combined, their career statistics are 1 catch for 3 yards, but, to be fair, Grayson caught the one pass he was thrown last year, so they've got a combined catch rate of 100%, so some solid hands between the both of them.

*Legion* wrote:

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/SStSJtb.jpg)

Not sure why I would need the two faces

Well for a couple quarters in 2017 the smiley face was appropriate until the refs once again saved the Patriots.

TheGameguru wrote:

Well for a couple quarters in 2017 the smiley face was appropriate until the refs once again saved the Patriots.

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/6XwIH5z.gif)

FORFEIT FORFEIT.

I guess the problem here is the NFL wants that tv revenue.

Essentially bending over backwards to not lose a game being aired.

Pats - Broncos pushed to Monday.

jowner wrote:

FORFEIT FORFEIT.

I guess the problem here is the NFL wants that tv revenue.

Essentially bending over backwards to not lose a game being aired.

This feels like the potential end of the season right here. The Titans have continued to have new positive test results, and the players were apparently working out together despite facilities being closed, so given the incubation period, it's entirely possible someone who plays on Tuesday will be contagious but asymptomatic, and then both teams turn around 5 days later and play again, an amount of time that would also allow for contagious but asymptomatic players.

What a mess. Forcing them to forfeit is the best solution and most likely one to help the season continue.

Man, the Bucs have Suh and Pierre-Paul on D and Brady and Gronk on the other side.

IMAGE(https://wwwcache.wralsportsfan.com/asset/voices/2017/09/14/16948406/what_year_is_it-DMID1-5c3t4izyb-512x384.gif)

IT'S TYLER JOHNSON TIME!

iaintgotnopants wrote:

IT'S TYLER JOHNSON TIME!

Apparently. That was quite the catch/spin; apparently this Gopher-Buccaneers pipeline is quite the thing.

Has Allen Robinson ever had a legit NFL QB throwing balls to him?

JFC; a Bears WR was wide open by 4-5 yards and completely behind the defense, and Foles missed him by a solid 5-6 yards. He looks freaking terrible. The good news is Allen Robinson bounced a ball right into the CB's hands and the Bears secondary can't tackle, but, other than that, they're looking great.

Tyler Johnson is balling tonight.

Donovan Smith has the yips.

garion333 wrote:

Has Allen Robinson ever had a legit NFL QB throwing balls to him?

Does Christian Hackenberg count?

AC/DC has a new album?

iaintgotnopants wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Has Allen Robinson ever had a legit NFL QB throwing balls to him?

Does Christian Hackenberg count?

Yes, if you're making a list of non-legit NFL QBs who have thrown balls to Allen Robinson.

Foles looking like an NFL QB for a few throws, confusing everyone who watched the prior hour of football.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
iaintgotnopants wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Has Allen Robinson ever had a legit NFL QB throwing balls to him?

Does Christian Hackenberg count?

Yes, if you're making a list of non-legit NFL QBs who have thrown balls to Allen Robinson.

Imagine catching passes from three 1st and 2nd round QBs, and the best of the group was probably Blake Bortles.

Did somebody flip a "Suck/Don't Suck" switch on Foles' back about halfway through the 2nd quarter? Before that, I was wondering how the Bears had even scored this year considering how they looked, then Foles was suddenly money on every throw.

That was a bogus PI.

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