Random thing you loathe right now.

Hang in there. I got "soft diagnosed" with ADD last summer to go along with my depression. My therapist is pretty confident in the diagnosis, and referred me to a prescriber in the same org that was comfortable prescribing meds without going through the full formal diagnosis process. That would've cost ~$2000 (boo US healthcare), and I don't really need the official diagnosis right now, so we just did that.

The meds have absolutely made a difference. Going back as long as I can remember, I've never been any good at long term goals or projects, and would constantly wait until the absolute last second to do anything. More recently, I felt like it was having a negative impact on my work, because I'd forget everything, and focusing on anything took a huge amount of effort and stuff like hiding in a corner of the office, with white noise on headphones, and closing literally every window on the screen besides what I was working on.

Now, I'm doing much better. I still forget things, but I've gotten much better at taking notes, making to do lists, and sticking to those. It's been great. And it was also great to be able to have an explanation for what I always thought were personal failings.

Around when we first started talking about me potentially being ADD, I found this article and this book very helpful in an "it me!" way:
- 4 Annoying Misconceptions About Adults With ADHD (yes, it's a listicle, but I promise it's good)
- You Mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?

I also have ADHD + depression. My daughter has it as well. Mine wasn’t identified until age 40. I’m 49 now. The meds have helped me.

Uni,
If you had your doctors write a note to give to your school would that help?

I can chime in to say that theses are hard enough without ADHD! Written three in my time, and having no real direction in how to go about it is incredibly difficult. I don't know how things work in Australian universities, but here we have an office for disability support whose job is to help you get accommodations in line with the ADA. It might be helpful to talk to your advisor and see if they can help you figure out how to eat the elephant - break it down into more manageable chunks and set smaller deadlines, if that helps how you need to work. (Again, I don't have ADHD - just anxiety and depression, so if this is all nonsense, ignore me!)

I also feel you on avoiding a presentation you need to do. I've been anxious about prepping lectures for class and putting off designing homework sets. I find that it's usually fear that motivates this and sometimes you just have to face it head on. I know I'll feel worse about myself if I do a bad job on the presentation, so I just have to do the work. Perhaps you can shake up where you are working? I went to a coffee shop the other day and had the most productive hour and a half of my workweek.

Best of luck to you. It's hard, but it feels so good to turn in the final product and get the degree. You can do it!

Unicycle: Sorry to hear, buddy. I am hoping for the best.

ActualDragon wrote:

It might be helpful to talk to your advisor and see if they can help you figure out how to eat the elephant - break it down into more manageable chunks and set smaller deadlines, if that helps how you need to work.

^^^ This.

Is there a such thing as an "academic coach" that helps with these sorts of things?

Thankyou all <3

I never know how to reply to these things, but you each are heard and appreciated!

My 5 year old daughter broke her arm 2 weeks ago. At her follow up X-Ray yesterday, they realized they had missed something, and her elbow was actually dislocated as part of the break. Now that it's been 2 weeks, it has partially healed improperly, so they have to perform surgery tomorrow. They're going to put her under, re-break the arm, clean up the scar tissue, then reset the elbow and cast her back up. I am basically a stressed out mess of nerves.

That's super rough. I hope she heals properly and quickly this time around.

Likewise! Hope she is able to put it behind her fast.

Work travel. I'm ready to go home the minute I step out my front door.

*Legion* wrote:

Work travel. I'm ready to go home the minute I step out my front door.

Yuuup. I flew to JFK every other week for years but have never really visited New York City. Work trips are so often just hotel -> office -> some food -> office -> hotel and repeat.

Insomnia caused by pain related to potential plantar faciitis/arthritis. That and dreaming in code and decision trees because my brain is trying to resolve something from class last night so it won't shut up while I'm sleeping.

Bad news from family members.

*Legion* wrote:

Work travel. I'm ready to go home the minute I step out my front door.

So you’re a Hobbit! I am too.

Good luck ThatGuy42- my wife had something similar done on her leg when she was a kid and turned out fine. She does say to be prepared for last-minute fear; she even had that at 12. But kids are resilient as heck; my 8yo broke a leg when he was 2 and spent a few weeks in a body (spica) cast with no lasting harm. So here's hoping she bounces back quickly.

Cracker Jack prizes just aren't what they used to be.

Rainsmercy wrote:

Insomnia caused by pain related to potential plantar faciitis/arthritis. That and dreaming in code and decision trees because my brain is trying to resolve something from class last night so it won't shut up while I'm sleeping.

I've got really bad sort of "general" insomnia. Went to my doc a year ago, who said it's probably anxiety-related, maybe try seeing a therapist. So I did, but it didn't really help. Went back to doc a few weeks ago, and he gave me some practical things to try (go to bed and get up at basically the same time every night, no electronics in bed before trying to sleep, etc). It's still not working. I just wake up multiple times a night, every night, and I'm tired all the time. I'm always awake before my alarm goes off, and that's at 6 AM. Don't know what to do. Brain never turns off.

d4m0 wrote:
Rainsmercy wrote:

Insomnia caused by pain related to potential plantar faciitis/arthritis. That and dreaming in code and decision trees because my brain is trying to resolve something from class last night so it won't shut up while I'm sleeping.

I've got really bad sort of "general" insomnia. Went to my doc a year ago, who said it's probably anxiety-related, maybe try seeing a therapist. So I did, but it didn't really help. Went back to doc a few weeks ago, and he gave me some practical things to try (go to bed and get up at basically the same time every night, no electronics in bed before trying to sleep, etc). It's still not working. I just wake up multiple times a night, every night, and I'm tired all the time. I'm always awake before my alarm goes off, and that's at 6 AM. Don't know what to do. Brain never turns off.

Dunno if it'll work for you, but my quality of sleep tracks 1:1 with how physically active I am. Back in my triathlon days, I slept like a baby.

Coming at it from the opposite direction, booze destroys my sleep-quality. Even a couple beers of an evening materially affects it.

We should start an insomnia thread. I both suffer from it and have some valuable learnings that have made my life demonstrably better. Weighted blankets, meditation, diet, timing of food, electronics, etc.

DSGamer wrote:

We should start an insomnia thread. I both suffer from it and have some valuable learnings that have made my life demonstrably better. Weighted blankets, meditation, diet, timing of food, electronics, etc.

Agreed!

Jonman, I have tried removing booze from my diet but it didn't affect anything. I normally have a single beer after work most days, but before the last visit to the doc I decided to give a try to not having anything. I know it helps a lot of people, but didn't change my sleep patterns at all (and my doc said one beer shouldn't really affect it). I jog a couple times a week, only a mile or two, nothing like triathlon distances (!), but those nights are no different from nights when I don't do that exercise. I have coffee, but only one a day and it's done by 9:30 most mornings. Maybe I should stop drinking that altogether.

Weighted blankets are an interesting idea. Maybe I give that a shot. Meditation might do it, but really, the times I've tried it, all that ends up happening is that it gets my brain chugging even more than usual.

Is pot legal in MA?

d4m0 wrote:

I just wake up multiple times a night, every night, and I'm tired all the time

Have you ever been tested for sleep apnea?

Weed sure is legal here, and I do have it. I'd say it helps better than anything else, like a small piece of special chocolate a couple hours before bed works more than everything else I've tried. I still wake up during the night, but not as much.

muttonchop wrote:
d4m0 wrote:

I just wake up multiple times a night, every night, and I'm tired all the time

Have you ever been tested for sleep apnea?

I haven't. And it does run in my family. However, when I visited the doc a few weeks ago he checked out my throat and said I don't have any of the physical qualities, or other symptoms, that go with sleep apnea. If this keeps going another few weeks I'm going to go back to the doc again and likely doing a sleep study to find out what might really be going on.

Jonman wrote:

Is pot legal in MA?

I would second this. Part of what I figured out for myself is that super low THC / high CBD stuff helps me with sleep. Usually my pattern is I go to sleep, sleep pretty well for 4 or 5 hours. I take some CBD and go back to sleep and zonk out for another 3 to 4 hours of REALLY good sleep.

My understanding is that it used to be fairly normal for people to get their 8 - 10 hours of sleep a night in two chunks. Before the electric light we'd all just fall asleep at 8 or whatever and then sleep in multiple chunks. I think not being afraid of that has helped me. And that light sleep aid for the second half makes sure I get both chunks of sleep.

I have had many, many problems with insomnia and had a full sleep study done up. Slept in the hospital with a net on my head and multiple monitors, the whole nine yards. What they found was that my REM patterns, light sleep, and deep sleep were simply different than the norm, and by altering my schedule, I get much better rest.

It turns out the result of that study was that I can't get 8 hours of sleep. I need 6. If I get more than 6 I'm overtired and a waste. But if I get 3 hours or 6 hours, those fit my rhythm and I'm a happy camper. When I wake up in the middle of the night, it's almost always at the 3 hour mark where I'm awake and alert. So I get up, busy myself for an hour with doing something, then I go back down for 3 more hours and I'm perfect. Bottom line, if you can go through the trouble of a full review and study, do it. They may find a secret to your rhythm that solves your issue.

ThatGuy42 wrote:

It turns out the result of that study was that I can't get 8 hours of sleep. I need 6. If I get more than 6 I'm overtired and a waste. But if I get 3 hours or 6 hours, those fit my rhythm and I'm a happy camper. When I wake up in the middle of the night, it's almost always at the 3 hour mark where I'm awake and alert. So I get up, busy myself for an hour with doing something, then I go back down for 3 more hours and I'm perfect. Bottom line, if you can go through the trouble of a full review and study, do it. They may find a secret to your rhythm that solves your issue.

That's interesting. I wonder if I fall into a category like that. I typically sleep in two chunks. I fought it for a long time, but once I embraced it I slept better.

I've had plenty of studies, because I have sleep apnea. None of them, however, indicated what time of the day I should be sleeping.

d4m0 wrote:

I haven't. And it does run in my family. However, when I visited the doc a few weeks ago he checked out my throat and said I don't have any of the physical qualities, or other symptoms, that go with sleep apnea. If this keeps going another few weeks I'm going to go back to the doc again and likely doing a sleep study to find out what might really be going on.

It's harder to test for sleep apnea from physical measurements if you don't fit a particular profile. If you can see a specialist and have a full-fledged sleep study done they can get a much more accurate picture of whether you have sleep apnea than anything your primary care doctor can do.

I am on a cpap machine, still will wake up 4 am ish, then alarm goes off at 5. Then some days I sleep 7-8 hours, get up to take dog out, then go right back to bed.

Rainsmercy wrote:

I am on a cpap machine, still will wake up 4 am ish, then alarm goes off at 5. Then some days I sleep 7-8 hours, get up to take dog out, then go right back to bed.

Exactly. I've been on a CPAP for 21 years. The CPAP makes it less likely I'll have a heart attack in my sleep and I wake up fresher. I still deal with my sleep cycle being broken.

My wife's grandmother died this morning. Not unexpectedly but still sucks.

The funeral is next Tuesday. My mother-in-law is already low-key feuding with her brothers (my wife's uncles) over the funeral arrangements and the care decisions that preceded Grammie's passing. And because booking a round trip flight for my wife and I on this short notice would cost us more than a mortgage payment on our house, we're now going to have to drive for 10+ hours Monday to attend the funeral and then drive 10+ hours back on Wednesday.

My wife was already skipping a family reunion this month because so many people at her work are on vacation, and my work (which I loathe always) is ramping back up at the worst possible moment with people vacationing or departing. Both my wife and I have been sick in the past week, and I'm still not fully recovered. On Tuesday I had an unexpected interview for another job I applied which I somehow got through without throwing up or passing out, but between that and us briefly thinking on Monday my wife might be pregnant I was already emotionally and physically exhausted before the week was half over. My wife still has to work both days this weekend, and I was supposed to be off but now I have to go do a bunch of stuff to get ready for the funeral trip (OK it's actually like 2-3 things but that's infinity percent more than the 0 things I was looking forward to doing).