NFL 2018: Week 8

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We're at the halfway point for some teams, so naturally some of the early week rust has shaken off and we're seeing more of what we expected. The Bills have a terrible offense. The Vikings have a good to great defense. Bortles borking. Gruden ... Gruden-ing. Speaking of that:

Jerry Jones making a trade for Amari Cooper is the worst thing to happen to my Dynasty team. Now I have to root for the Cowboys, sorta. I hate that.

But! I no longer have any reason to consider rooting for the Raiders because I actually don't know anyone else left on the team. Marshawn has a groin injury and will be sitting out for a while leaving Derek Carr and .......... seriously, no idea.

Let's see here. The Saints are good enough on defense again to be considered a top team. Especially now that they added a CB in Eli Apple. Apple might not be a *great* CB but he's an upgrade. I still don't think they're a match for the Rams, but who is?

Btw, is anyone trading legit offensive linemen? It's pretty clear that Josh Rosen is on the David Carr track and will likely have PTSD the rest of his life. His performance on Thursday night was on par with another former Arizona QB. Hopefully the in-season OC firing will help Rosen follow in the Goff path.

That's it from me for this week. Hopefully your team is looking good, but probably not if they're in the AFC South.

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Sounds like he may have been hammered and strolled into the wrong home.

As far as the NFL is concerned, he better hope it was just alcohol and not something else.

I legit thought it was Thursday evening when I saw this thread available.

I wish!

garion333 wrote:

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Bless you for digging up this gif. I scoured (not really) the interwebs yesterday and found only stills.

*Legion* wrote:

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I'm assuming they're talking about a part of a vacuum cleaner but I'm still picturing a guy reaching into a giant 1950's computer, pulling out a vacuum tube and whipping it at Kelly.

iaintgotnopants wrote:

I'm assuming they're talking about a part of a vacuum cleaner but I'm still picturing a guy reaching into a giant 1950's computer, pulling out a vacuum tube and whipping it at Kelly.

I gotta admit that's the first place my head went with "vacuum tube" too.

*Legion* wrote:

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Sounds like he may have been hammered and strolled into the wrong home.

As far as the NFL is concerned, he better hope it was just alcohol and not something else.

This is amazing.

*Legion* wrote:
iaintgotnopants wrote:

I'm assuming they're talking about a part of a vacuum cleaner but I'm still picturing a guy reaching into a giant 1950's computer, pulling out a vacuum tube and whipping it at Kelly.

I gotta admit that's the first place my head went with "vacuum tube" too.

Swag Kelly? More like SWAC Kelly!

I'll see myself out.

The story gets better.

Let me just quote the headline from that link:

Chad Kelly arrested on trespassing charge while in cowboy costume following Broncos Halloween party

Uh, so, apparently the guy in the story said that the house was locked. Yeah, like Swag was in a state to break into someone's house. Guy in the house is also ten years older than the girl. Comments to the Twitter with the images from the police report suggest the girl was having an affair with Mr. Kelly. The guy who lived there is pressing charges, which is odd to me. Either Swag was getting his groove on or this was a setup.

Edit: BAC was 0

CHAD WAS FRAMED

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This might or might not have any bearing on the Chad Kelly story, but he's originally from ... Buffalo!

That town, man.

John Ross continues down that 1st round WR bust career path, will now miss multiple weeks after re-aggravating his groin injury.

Have we not talked about how Rae Carruth was just released from prison?

Wow.

*Legion* wrote:

John Ross continues down that 1st round WR bust career path, will now miss multiple weeks after re-aggravating his groin injury.

He was already on this path when he was drafted. You gotta believe the Bengals only expected to have him for 10-12 games a year, max. He's falling below that, but...yeah.

Wait, does that mean he's Breshad Perriman 2.0?

Giants got a 4th and a 2020 7th for Other Eli.

Niners put Pierre Garcon on the trade block.

*Legion* wrote:
iaintgotnopants wrote:

I'm assuming they're talking about a part of a vacuum cleaner but I'm still picturing a guy reaching into a giant 1950's computer, pulling out a vacuum tube and whipping it at Kelly.

I gotta admit that's the first place my head went with "vacuum tube" too.

Yeah, same here.

Funny thing is that I actually held a vacuum tube in my hand last weekend. I found it while we were cleaning out my father-in-law's house.

Swag has a court date, November 8th.

Remember when I was posting screenshots of the notifications Google News sent me about Kelly? That was no joke, and it has not stopped.

I don't know what the parameters are that the Google News app uses to decide what to send push notifications about (it is selective about them, does not just spam them all day), but it seems to have "the most egregious stuff Trump does" and "any news story at all about Chad Kelly" on equal ground for the top priority.

Bortles? The Niners? Fresno State? Local news? All running a very distant third or worse.

Jon Gruden losing the locker room? It's all part of his cunning ser-pen-tine strategy!

Rat Boy wrote:

Jon Gruden losing the locker room? It's all part of his cunning ser-pen-tine strategy!

Trade everyone away, get all new players, boom, problem solved.

You know who will be loyal to you Gruden? Bortles. He's never disgruntled. Carr to Jags for Bortles and Dareus.

You sign a defensive minded coach in Wilks who then turns around and uses his top defensive player in the wrong way? I feel bad for Wilks, but he's clearly on the one year track. Let's hope the offense gets a boost with the new OC as that'll help the D quite a bit.

Giants continue to sell off their defense, trade Damon Harrison to the Lions for a 5th.

*Legion* wrote:

Have we not talked about how Rae Carruth was just released from prison?

The Charlotte Observer recently published a seven-part series, plus podcast, on that whole horrible episode.

Meanwhile, some folks thought it would be FUNNY to put Carruth's name on the back of a jersey.

Unrelated: Broncos cut Chad Kelly. Five bucks says the Bills pick him up!

Enix wrote:

Unrelated: Broncos cut Chad Kelly. Five bucks says the Bills pick him up!

Edit: Honestly, can't help but think about self-sabotage as it relates to addicts. He's done this over and over again.

Enix wrote:

Meanwhile, some folks thought it would be FUNNY to put Carruth's name on the back of a jersey.

WTF

God damn Swag, you were so close.

You haven't made it onto the field yet, you don't get Josh Gordon number of chances if you haven't produced in games.

Enix wrote:

Meanwhile, some folks thought it would be FUNNY to put Carruth's name on the back of a jersey.

Because I'm the absolute filth of humanity, the part that stood out to me was:

Other names on the NFL's jersey blacklist -- Aaron Hernandez and O.J. Simpson. Harambe the gorilla was on the list, but that name is now allowable.

Also, cces and Guru, this is for you:

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That's pretty funny.