NFL 2018 Draft Thread

The report says surveillance video shows Bortles’ wallet being intercepted by the thief who rummaged through the quarterback’s unlocked truck at a house party at Linder’s home. The keys to the truck were also there for the taking, but the uninvited party guest was boxed in by other cars and couldn’t steal the truck.

Just to circle back to that, Bortles left both his keys and his wallet inside his unlocked truck.

What do you call it when something is simultaneously both hard to believe and so completely in character that it could not possibly be any other way?

Bortles

*Legion* wrote:
The report says surveillance video shows Bortles’ wallet being intercepted by the thief who rummaged through the quarterback’s unlocked truck at a house party at Linder’s home. The keys to the truck were also there for the taking, but the uninvited party guest was boxed in by other cars and couldn’t steal the truck.

Just to circle back to that, Bortles left both his keys and his wallet inside his unlocked truck.

What do you call it when something is simultaneously both hard to believe and so completely in character that it could not possibly be any other way?

What $18 million/year buys you?

Is there any more boring NFL news than draft picks getting signed?

That's all PFT has been for the past few days. It used to be boring except for 1st rounder contract numbers and holdout threats, but now even those are essentially extinct.

The "Dead Zone" is after minicamps and OTAs, but this is like a pre-Dead Zone, right before minicamps.

Could Carolina at least go sign another free agent running back or something?

We put Fozzy on IR. That was something.

Which means, of course, yep, you guessed it ... another RB signing coming right up!

I dunno, this was awesome:

Rams want to wear blue and yellow uniforms more often, but NFL says no

That's some quality reporting.

The NFL requires notice before changing uniforms for good reason. Fans ought one able to count on the jersey they paid way too much for to be representative of the team from year to year. and moreover, vendors want the chance to keep selling jerseys that bdidn'sell the year before. Teams can change helmets all they want. But vendors really need a warning so they don't buy up too many soon to be obsolete jerseys.

The Rams are just a mess. At first, they wanted the whites and blues, like the old Ram uniforms, which, honestly, would be pretty cool. That is why their uniforms look so wonky, as they have their old jerseys and white and blue helmets. But they had to wait X number of years to change, and they never went through the proper procedure.

And this is why. Now they have decided that no one shows up to their games because they want the old, and really ugly, bright blue and yellow jerseys. So again, they have to restart the clock to let the NFL know.

Jayhawker wrote:

At first, they wanted the whites and blues, like the old Ram uniforms, which, honestly, would be pretty cool.

And is the correct choice.

Now they have decided that no one shows up to their games because they want the old, and really ugly, bright blue and yellow jerseys. So again, they have to restart the clock to let the NFL know.

They just need to finish the transition to the blue and whites, and use the '80s unis as throwbacks (throw-forwards?), and be done with it.

Clickbait article is clickbait.

Chad Kelly readying to compete for Broncos' backup job

“I’ve been proud of Chad overall,” Broncos coach Vance Joseph said Saturday, via Nicki Jhabvala of The Athletic. “He’s been here every day. He’s worked his butt off and . . . he’s changed his body. Last year, he was a little tubby kid. He’s really lean now; he’s eating right; he’s working hard. He’s definitely put the work in, and he’s throwing the ball really well now.”

Meanwhile, Vance Joseph has said that Paxton Lynch can relax and learn from Case Keenum.

Yeah, you relax while $wag is out there ballin' out, gonna take your job and your girl.

Enix wrote:

We put Fozzy on IR. That was something.

Which means, of course, yep, you guessed it ... another RB signing coming right up!

It actually happened. The Panthers signed Kenjon Barner, formerly of the Eagles. True fact: the Panthers drafted Barner in 2013. He barely played because of the 15 other RBs ahead of him on the depth chart.

*Legion* wrote:

Chad Kelly readying to compete for Broncos' backup job

“I’ve been proud of Chad overall,” Broncos coach Vance Joseph said Saturday, via Nicki Jhabvala of The Athletic. “He’s been here every day. He’s worked his butt off and . . . he’s changed his body. Last year, he was a little tubby kid. He’s really lean now; he’s eating right; he’s working hard. He’s definitely put the work in, and he’s throwing the ball really well now.”

Meanwhile, Vance Joseph has said that Paxton Lynch can relax and learn from Case Keenum.

Yeah, you relax while $wag is out there ballin' out, gonna take your job and your girl.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xF9vVInNI6KAlG/giphy.gif)

Paxton Lynch is toast. He needs to be the guy who is putting the work in, but instead he's the guy who can relax. As in, relax you ain't ever starting.

One great thing from the Kelly article that PFT referenced is that it said even Vance Joseph calls him "Swag" sometimes.

Man, are Bills fans gonna be pissed when Josh Allen throws 40% while nephew is out in Denver becoming a star.

This is the only thing I care to watch this preseason.

Ah, the dead part of the year, when "Chad Kelly vs. Paxton Lynch" is the highlight of your NFL news day.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Ah, the dead part of the year, when "Chad Kelly vs. Paxton Lynch" is the highlight of your NFL news day.

I'm pretty sure Legion considers Chad Kelly news to be a highlight year round.

iaintgotnopants wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Ah, the dead part of the year, when "Chad Kelly vs. Paxton Lynch" is the highlight of your NFL news day.

I'm pretty sure Legion considers Chad Kelly news to be a highlight year round.

^^^ this guy understands.

Slow news? How about an article about ... Greg Little. Apparently he's trying out for the Cardinals.

garion333 wrote:

Slow news? How about an article about ... Greg Little. Apparently he's trying out for the Cardinals.

Highlight of my football news day is going to be the 30 seconds I spent trying to remember who Greg Little was, and getting "WR, 2nd round, Browns" all correct. Very possibly the most football-related enjoyment Little has ever given to an NFL fan.

I remember being very excited about Little before a preseason game. I think I even picked him up as a late-round flyer in a ffl. And then I remembered he was a Brown, and I am a Browns fan, and there was no way that this would go well.

He has skills.

Unfortunately, catching balls isn't one of them.

The Browns drafted three 2nd round WRs in that general time frame, and Little was the most productive of the three.

He edged out Mohamed Massaquoi, and handily beat Brian Robiskie.

Texans claim QB Stephen Morris off waivers.

Now there's some news that makes the Greg Little stuff seem exciting by comparison

*Legion* wrote:

Texans claim QB Stephen Morris off waivers.

Now there's some news that makes the Greg Little stuff seem exciting by comparison

I don't think I've ever even heard his name before.

The other news is Eli Manning settled his fraudulent memorabilia lawsuit. Woo. Hoo.

The Panthers are apparently officially being sold today, to somebody who's probably going to be about 15% less asshat than Jerry Richardson.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

The Panthers are apparently officially being sold today, to somebody who's probably going to be about 15% less asshat than Jerry Richardson.

Looking forward to watching the Los Angeles Panthers.

Paleocon wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

The Panthers are apparently officially being sold today, to somebody who's probably going to be about 15% less asshat than Jerry Richardson.

Looking forward to watching the London Panthers.

FTFY

Short term, the new guy isn't going to move the Panthers anywhere. That's the buzz, anyway.

BUT he has no ties to the area and the stadium dates back to 1996. So, yeah, it could happen eventually.

I think one of the smaller market franchises (Jax, Buffalo) would move first. Charlotte's a big city and growing; some smaller cities aren't.

Or the NFL's QB Robot experiment finally succeeds and they'll expand the league by a few teams.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

The Panthers are apparently officially being sold today, to somebody who's probably going to be about 15% less asshat than Jerry Richardson.

I think you misspelled "the same amount of asshattery."

Tepper has a pair of brass testicles. Cartoonishly huge and grotesquely veiny, they are affixed to a plaque inscribed with the words THE MOST VALUABLE SET OF ALL TIME and are not at all out of place in Appaloosa’s offices, which resemble a high-end sports bar—all polished mahogany and flat-screen TVs and black-and-gold Steelers paraphernalia—or a wealthy frat house. (“We had this client, they make breast implants,” says a former employee. “He loved to keep them on the desk, he’d love to throw them around.”) Appaloosa is staffed almost entirely by men. ..

By all accounts, Tepper’s personal volatility is as up and down as his returns. “He’s an asshole, to say the least,” says someone who worked with him. “I had stuff thrown at me. He can be a nice guy off the desk, in the kitchen or walking to the car. It’s almost like Jekyll and Hyde, you didn’t know any given day who was going to walk through the door.” This is not merely someone with a grudge. When Tepper coached elementary-school kids in softball, Phil Glassman says, he could be heard screaming all the way down the block.

Tepper admits he can be difficult. “I used to be worse,” he says over the phone. “When I was at Goldman, I’d say things to people like, ‘Do you know what a schmuck is? Go look in the mirror.’ Now I’m kinder and gentler. Aren’t I kinder and gentler?” he asks his employees.

In the background there’s silence.

“Aren’t I kinder and gentler?”

At least Jerry Richardson had the decency to keep his damn mouth shut. JFC

Huh, sounds exactly like the type of guy they owners would sell to as he clearly fits in with them.