NFL 2017 Week 17 Thread

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THE TOTALLY OFFICIAL AND HEAVILY RESEARCHED AND NOT JUST BASICALLY MADE UP ON THE SPOT YEARLY AWARDS

Meh, why not.

MVP: It’s Tom Brady. Whether or not you hate him, it’s Tom Brady. He’s #1 in Football Outsider’s DYAR and DVOA ranking. He throws a TD on 5.5% of his passes, and his INT% is a patently ridiculous 1.5%. He’s got crackpot ideas about health and is trying to shill a stupid health and workout program that rises to potential criminal levels of fraud and he whines when he’s hit and everybody is sick of him but he’s the best QB in the game, and the best QB in the history of the league. I don’t even know how this could be an arguable point.

Offensive Player of the Year: Let’s face it; MVP is the “Best QB of the Year Unless Something Amazing Happens” award, and OPOY is the best WR/MVP/maybe TE if Gronk stays healthy award. It’s just how it goes. So, the best non-QB this year is Antonio Brown, who runs away with this. Fun stat; Jarvis Landry leads the league with 103 receptions, and Brown is second with 101. Landry is averaging an exciting 8.7 yards per catch, which is a number so low even Art Monk would laugh at it (OK, to be fair, Art Monk averaged a respectable 13.5 yards/catch in his career) . Antonio Brown is averaging 15.2, and his yards/game of 109.5 is a patently ridiculous 17.6 more yards/game than DeAndre Hopkins 91.9 (though, to be fair, Hopkins has basically been catching balls from buckets of moldy cheese all year). Antonio Brown does all this while being 5’10”, 180 pounds, and playing outside. He’s ridiculous.

Defensive Player of the Year: Aaron Donald of the Rams. As an interior lineman, 11 sacks, 5 forced fumbles, and constant wrecking of offensive lines.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Stupid Kareem Hunt couldn’t keep it up, unlike the rest of the Chiefs offense (heyoooooo), so, (insert heavy sigh here), it’s Alvin Kamara of the Saints. Because having had to watch Drew Brees with a fast RB who can both run and catch is something I’ve never had to witness before.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. Marshon Lattimore. Of the Saints. How is it my least favorite team in the league winds up with the two best rookies? Lattimore has been phenomenal from week one, and will be depressing me for years to come.

Coach of the Year: Sean McVay, of the Rams. Taking that eternally awful and underwhelming team and spinning them into an offensive near juggernaut is mind-boggling. Jared Goff was one of the singly-worst rookie QBs ever last year, and now he’s an excellent young player. The Rams turned cast-offs like Robert Woods into threats, got production out of a healthy Sammy Watkins, revitalized Todd Gurley, and put together a real offensive line. I would have bet huge sums of money against the Rams winning six games this year. I also would have bet against the Jets winning a game, Case Keenum being a viable QB, and Jacksonville winning double-digit games, so I am clearly knowledgeable enough about football that I should be running this thread.

Most Disappointing Team of the Year: Is there anyone who doesn’t think this is the Bucs? This isn’t just my homerism; I wasn’t expecting playoffs for Tampa this year, regardless of how common that prediction was, but some decent play and a .500 or so record was a reasonable expectation. Instead, they’re 4-11, half the offense is injured, and CHRIS CONTE STILL HAS A JOB. While I think the Giants have a solid case for this, Tampa “wins”. While the offense has improved and Jameis Winston has been better in all sorts of ways that involve playing and not anything off the field (FYI HE’S A MORON), the pass rush and secondary have been utter garbage. It’s OK; it’s not like the NFL is a pass-focused league and those things are at all important.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I literally laughed out loud when James Harrison signed with the Patriots, and the fact his former teammates are bashing him for signing with a good team is idiotic. Hey, Maurkice Pouncey and friends, try bashing your own team for cutting your franchise’s all-time sack leader at the end of the season. Harrison signing with the Patriots makes perfect sense for him.

Jameis Winston ran onto the field after it was ruled he fumbled at the end of the game, and basically knocked over somebody trying to stop him. To add to the fun, Desean Jackson’s wrecked car was found with pot in it. So, basically, situation normal in Tampa.

Nick Foles looked good in his first action after the Wentz injury. This past Sunday was not his first action. The Eagles are screwed.

The Vikings shut out the Packers in Lambeau on Sunday, the second time the Packers have been shut out this year at home. Brett Hundley is bad at the football.

Speaking of bad at the football, Joe Flacco wins the Official GWJ NFL Thread 2017 award. Flacco’s YPA of 5.9 is the third-worst in the league, behind DeShonze Kizer and Brett Hundley (the worst), and all are far behind Tom Brady’s 8.1. Flacco “wins” just because of how up and down he’s been and how he’s dragging down a really good defense; Flacco’s YPA has been 5.02 or lower in six different games, and the team only won one of those. And it was against the Texans, so it doesn’t count anyways.

MAKE YOUR GAME PICKS HERE

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts: The Colts have arguably had the best QB on the field in only three prior games this year; against the Browns, the Beathard 49ers, and Savage Texans (SUCH A BETTER TEAM NAME, GUYS). The Colts have, not coincidentally, won three games this year. This is game #4 when Jacoby Brissett is likely the best QB on either team; that statement is not a compliment to anyone.

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers: Sure, it’s theoretically a gimme. The Steelers are locked into at-worst the #2 seed and, if they win and the Patriots lose to the Jets, they move up to #1. Pittsburgh therefore has a reason to actually try to win this game, at least for a while, and, let’s face it, the Browns are 0-15 for a reason. Well, lots of reasons. A huge, massive, almost endless and incredibly-sad list of reasons. That being said, this is their last opportunity to avoid being placed into history as a shining light of athletic incompetence, and I expect the Cleveland Browns players to play their hardest and do their utmost to get that one, single win. I mean, it won’t matter and they’re going to get stomped, but at least they’ll try. It seemed appropriate to commemorate the Browns in the header pic this week.

San Francisco 49ers at Los Angeles Rams: The Rams are apparently sitting Jared Goff, Todd Gurley, and Aaron Donald. The 49ers late-season campaign has basically been a giant marketing campaign for free agents who just want to stare at Jimmy G’s dreamy face. Only one team cares here.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans: The Titans more or less need to win to get in, but Mariota is in the midst of a really disappointing year, the running game has been off, and the Titans have lost three straight. Jacksonville has nothing to play for and will likely rest a bunch of starters, and they’ll still win, because Tennessee just doesn’t seem to care.

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons: This is simple; the Falcons win at home in week 17, they make the playoffs. My personal and not at all petty and childish hope is they build up a multi-touchdown lead, and wind up losing the game when Matt Ryan literally craps himself and the ball slips out of his slimy hands and bounds into the end zone, where Julius Peppers recovers for a TD. And then vomits, because poop and all.

RESULTS:
A reminder; your two lowest weeks will be dropped, and that is not calculated here. So, you’ll have to wait a few days for your final standings and see how much Legion won by this year. These are the things that happen when Certis chooses to skip the football thread. Thanks a lot, Wentz.

Week 16 Results
karmajay: 4-1
LeapingGnome: 4-1
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
iaintgotnopants: 3-2
sr_malo: 3-2
Torq: 3-2
Rat Boy: 3-2
garion333: 3-2
EvilDead: 3-2
Abu5217: 3-2
Zaque: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 3-2
PorkSmoothie89: 3-2
tboon: 3-2
Infyrnos: 3-2
Oddsmakers: 3-2
Vector: 2-3
oldmanscene24: 2-3

Season to Date
*Legion*: 52-28
Oddsmakers: 52-28
PorkSmoothie89: 49-31
MilkmanDanimal: 48-32
tboon: 47-28
oldmanscene24: 47-33
TheGameGuru: 47-33
iaintgotnopants: 46-34
Infyrnos: 46-34
Vector: 45-35
ballnchained: 45-25
Rat Boy: 44-36
karmajay: 44-36
EvilDead: 44-31
LeapingGnome: 41-39
cube: 39-36
garion333: 39-26
Torq: 38-32
Jayhawker: 38-37
Zaque: 37-43
Abu5217: 35-40
sr_malo: 33-32
kaostheory: 31-24
UpToIsomorphism: 27-23
Kush15: 15-20
Jowner: 5-5
Minase: 4-1
Nomad: 4-1
Jayhawker: 2-3
cube: 1-4

Gurley for MVP. Dude has over 2,000 AP yards and 19 TDs.

Or, frankly, Marshon Lattimore.

Regular season MVP awards are bad luck. Don't want.

Nick Foles looked good in his first action after the Wentz injury. This past Sunday was not his first action. The Eagles are screwed.

The outcome of all of your Eagles predictions has been the opposite, so thank you for securing The Eagles a spot in the Super Bowl.

In all seriousness, this would be a "big" game for a lot of folks because Cowboys, but man, I just want to see the team finally got its sh*t together without Wentz.

Y'know what? f*ck it. This is all because the fans started calling him Saint Nick. When the f*ck will this city learn?

Woohoo I clawed my way above .500 for the first time this year!

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Most Disappointing Team of the Year: Is there anyone who doesn’t think this is the Bucs?

Yes.

Spoiler:

The Oakland Raiders.

Rat Boy posted exactly what I was going to. Tampa was 9-7 last year, Oakland was 12-4.

Granted, Tampa will probably finish 2 wins below Oakland, but Oakland still the biggest disappointment.

Reuben Foster has a higher PFF grade than Lattimore and should have very serious DROY consideration, but Lattimore's team is playoff bound and he's playing the more premium position.

Also, most *valuable* player is clearly Jimmy Dick Garoppolo. Instantly turned a 1-10 team into a playoff caliber team (based on the fact they just beat two teams currently holding playoff spots). Also most handsomest player. JimmyG wired, Brady tired.

Also, is Sean McVay actually an awesome coach, or just the guy that came along after the franchise was liberated from the gigantic Jeff Fisher weight holding it down?

I reported this thread because you made us pick that Texans-Colts "game".

Uh something’s wrong with the standings... I know I put in last week...

*Legion* wrote:

Also, is Sean McVay actually an awesome coach, or just the guy that came along after the franchise was liberated from the gigantic Jeff Fisher weight holding it down?

We won't know for a number of years or his next gig, but it's clear he's an effective offensive coach based on his work with Cousins and Goff.

He's certainly a better HC than what the ego maniac McDaniels did with Cutler and Co.

Yay last week

Eh the Raiders lost their starting QB to a back injury for multiple weeks and a lot of people think he is still suffering, so I think that takes them out of the running for most disappointing since it is expected they would drop off.

I blame the "We told everyone we're moving but still playing in the old city" curse.

cube wrote:

Uh something’s wrong with the standings... I know I put in last week...

I'm still out of town for Christmas, reasing this on my phone, but did the Season to Date totals for you change from last week?

LeapingGnome wrote:

Eh the Raiders lost their starting QB to a back injury for multiple weeks and a lot of people think he is still suffering, so I think that takes them out of the running for most disappointing since it is expected they would drop off.

Some of the dropoff was players underperforming though. Like Amari Cooper looks, uhm, not great.

The defense played poorly under Ken Norton Jr., and started cranking the aggressiveness up again after he was fired and replaced with John Pagano.

I'm giving Carr a bit of a pass for returning so fast from back injury. He won't be 100% until he's had an offseason to recuperate. But a lot of other phases of the team have dropped the ball.

I am excited to throw Dallas into the most disappointing conversation. 13-3 to probable 8-8. Now 8-8 is no probable 6-10 but Dallas was considered a pre-season legit SB contender in some quarters, something I did not hear much about for the Raiders.

Nice interview with Chris Borland here.

https://www.theringer.com/2017/12/28...

Don't listen if Bill Simmons triggers you. But Chris has a lot of interesting things to say.

How can someone talk about the most disappointing team and not mention the one that has zero wins?

Because they were expected to have 0-2 wins...

*Legion* wrote:
LeapingGnome wrote:

Eh the Raiders lost their starting QB to a back injury for multiple weeks and a lot of people think he is still suffering, so I think that takes them out of the running for most disappointing since it is expected they would drop off.

Some of the dropoff was players underperforming though. Like Amari Cooper looks, uhm, not great.

The defense played poorly under Ken Norton Jr., and started cranking the aggressiveness up again after he was fired and replaced with John Pagano.

I'm giving Carr a bit of a pass for returning so fast from back injury. He won't be 100% until he's had an offseason to recuperate. But a lot of other phases of the team have dropped the ball.

Yeah, Oakland is easily my top pick for disappointment.

The Giants were bad, but mostly due to injury. The Raiders underperformed on both sides of the ball and most of it was from people not playing as well as they did last year. Derek Carr gets a pass, Cooper doesn't and the entire defense doesn't either.

tboon wrote:

I am excited to throw Dallas into the most disappointing conversation. 13-3 to probable 8-8. Now 8-8 is no probable 6-10 but Dallas was considered a pre-season legit SB contender in some quarters, something I did not hear much about for the Raiders.

They lost their secondary, so whoever thought they're be a SB contender was smoking something. Their OL also regressed by losing talent.

Oakland had a young, exciting offense that suddenly looked broken. Dallas looked much the same, except when Tyron Smith and Zeke were out and the offense died.

garion333 wrote:
tboon wrote:

I am excited to throw Dallas into the most disappointing conversation. 13-3 to probable 8-8. Now 8-8 is no probable 6-10 but Dallas was considered a pre-season legit SB contender in some quarters, something I did not hear much about for the Raiders.

They lost their secondary, so whoever thought they're be a SB contender was smoking something. Their OL also regressed by losing talent.

...

Dallas looked much the same, except when Tyron Smith and Zeke were out and the offense died.

Yeah it was pretty great to watch wasn't it?

Regarding my choosing of Tampa over Oakland, there are several factors here:

  1. Pure homerism. I'll openly admit it.
  2. Oakland didn't really do much in the offseason to improve that team as well outside of signing a few eternal disappointments in Cordarelle Patterson and Jared Cook, plus whatever whiffs of life remained on Marshawn Lynch. The Bucs addressed several really significant needs in Desean Jackson as a deep threat, plus T.J. Ward at safety. The Bucs' rookie draft class was also pretty impressive on paper (and, really, has been on the field). The Raiders didn't do much.
  3. I expected some fallback from the Raiders anyways. I recall hearing last year that they'd won an unsustainably high number of close games and I just looked it up on PFR; they went 12-4 and only outscored opponents by 31 points on the season total. The Broncos went 9-7 and were at 36 points. The Raiders won three games all last year by more than a one-score game. At some point, the wheel of regression spins back around. Also, Derek Carr was good last year, but he was good on lots of shorter passes, so not shocked opponents shortened up the defense and made him try to win on longer stuff. Couple that with Amari Cooper doing whatever the holy hell happened to him this year, well, harder to throw.
  4. Also, homerism.

Dan, it's simple, the rest of us expect Tampa to kinda suck and they generally oblige. Nothing surprising there, nothing disappointing.

Dave Gettleman to the Giants as GM.

Jets extend contracts of coach Todd Bowles, G.M. Mike Maccagnan (as damn well they should after this past season, seriously).

Hue Jackson still has a job. I expect him to be fired regardless of what has been said.

The Jon Gruden rumors are annual and usually pretty weak, but the ones suggesting he could come back to Tampa seem stronger than usual.

It sounds like he's been putting out feelers to other coaches that could potentially build out his staff.

garion333 wrote:

Dan, it's simple, the rest of us expect Tampa to kinda suck and they generally oblige. Nothing surprising there, nothing disappointing.

From 2003 (the year after they met in the SB and both started sucking) through 2016:
Oakland: 75-149
Tampa: 90-134

*Legion* wrote:

The Jon Gruden rumors are annual and usually pretty weak, but the ones suggesting he could come back to Tampa seem stronger than usual.

It sounds like he's been putting out feelers to other coaches that could potentially build out his staff.

IMAGE(http://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/nope.gif)

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Dan, it's simple, the rest of us expect Tampa to kinda suck and they generally oblige. Nothing surprising there, nothing disappointing.

From 2003 (the year after they met in the SB and both started sucking) through 2016:
Oakland: 75-149
Tampa: 90-134

Fair enough. Tampa wasn't terribly good last year though. They had a winning record and all, but had a - 15 point differential.

Historically, the Bucs suck in general. The Raiders had Crypt Keeper Al Davis for a number of years there that explained their suckitude. The Bucs were one step above the (modern) Browns for most of their history.

Gruden never had a good QB though in those years after Brad Johnson's arm fell off.

Historically, the Bucs suck in general. The Raiders had Crypt Keeper Al Davis for a number of years there that explained their suckitude. The Bucs were one step above the (modern) Browns for most of their history.

Most teams have sucked almost their entire time in the league or for huge swaths of time. (Cowboys living off the early 90s anyone?)

Bucs did have a good reason they sucked until the 90s. Hugh Culverhouse. Read up on it sometime flyboy.

Davante Adams signs an extension.

Now just need teams to stop trying to take his head off.

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