NFL 2017 Week 16 Thread

This was the week of reckoning for the NFL Network, where on-air personalities like Heath Evans, Marshall Faulk, and Ike Taylor were suspended after a series of allegations were made about patently disgusting forms of sexual harassment, and the head of the network resigned this week as well.. The suit also mentions past actions by former NFLN Warren Sapp, who basically started peeing when the woman was in the room working, and, while that’s gross, this might be the first time¬ there have been allegations regarding disgusting behavior with women involving Warren Sapp where he isn’t the most repugnant person in the story.

Similarly, Deadspin did another one of its “No, really, we do real journalism, not just fart jokes” stories with a long article by current Deadspin writer and former NFLN employee Diana Moskowitz, which is worth a read. It illustrates a lot of the issues seen in places like SB Nation and other low-paid “gig economy” jobs in writing and online content production, along with loads of sexism.

Speaking of “disgusting’ and “loads of sexism”, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson “chose” to give up control of the team and will sell in the offseason after reports of racist comments and creepy, harassing, and gross behavior based on either commenting on women’s appearance or doing such “helpful” activities as reaching across their bodies to snap seatbelts and other slimy things. The Panthers, of course, are an organization so committed to morality they insisted their MVP QB wear a tie and act properly, so, as long as the black guy is dressed properly, it’s OK for old guys to more or less sexually assault employees. May Jerry Richardson’s statue sit next to Joe Paterno’s, preferably at the bottom of a port-a-potty several days into Sturgis.

For Christmas this year, I’m having a big box full of “why am I still invested in this sport”.

Other Things

When the ball is fumbled through the end zone, it winds up being a loss of possession and a touchback for the defense. “Some” people feel this is inconsistent with the rest of the rules, but I disagree; when a live ball is downed in some way in the end zone, whether it be by TD or turnover, the ball changes possession. In my mind, the ball going out of bounds in the end zone is consistent with that, and I’m fine with it. Yes, it’s a much more significant event to fumble through the end zone, but, you know what? It’s a much more significant event to get that one yard between the one yard line and end zone than it is to get any other yard. END ZONES ARE MAGICAL PLACES.

I also actually am fine with the catch rule. “Get two feet down” is going to lead to those situations where a player catches and gets hammered and loses the ball, and “football move” is just vague enough it puts the fate of the game even more into the interpretive hands of the Jeff Triplette’s of the world.

And now GG is going to assume I’m on the Patriots payroll ALONG WITH ALL THE REST OF THEM THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

Speaking of the catch rule, there was a Deadspin article on Bert Emanuel, whose Twitter handle is actualy @TheBertEmanuelRule.

Aaron Rodgers has been placed on IR after his one-game comeback against the Panthers resulted in a loss and playoff elimination. Also, I’ve always liked Cam Newton, and his little “Been watching film, huh?” banter with Clay Matthews make me like him even more. He still plays for Carolina, so I do think I’m compelled to hope he gets syphilis or something.

Blake Bortles was ranked as the best QB by DYAR in Football Outsiders’ Quick Reads this week. Recently-benched Eli was second. Brock Osweiler? 7th, five spots ahead of Tom Brady.

The Games:
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Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints: Is it still too soon after Katrina to wish for a hurricane? Asking for a friend.

Cleveland Browns at Chicago Bears: This is it; the final shot. Let’s face it, there is zero chance the Browns are going to be able to beat the Steelers in the last week of the season; the Steelers could start Dan Rooney at QB and still win this game. If the Browns are going to avoid joining the Lions as the only 0-16 team, it happens now, against a banged-up Bears team whose rookie QB could conceivably have trouble against an occasionally not-horrible Browns defense. I’ll admit it; I actually want the Browns to go 0-16 just so their organizational incompetence can be remembered forever, but they’ve been vaguely spunky in recent weeks, and I THINK YOU CAN DO IT GUYS.

Denver Broncos at Washington Football Team: Two games left for Kirk Cousins in a Washington Football Team uniform, and, let’s face it, there’s a non-zero chance he’s going to be wearing a Broncos uniform next year. It actually kind of sucks for Cousins; his numbers are down this year due to his top two WRs moving on plus other issues, and the combination of a strong QB class plus certain other QBs unexpectedly playing well could potentially reduce the job market for him. Speaking of which . . .

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Francisco 49ers: I GIVE YOU THE LEGION BOWL. Jimmy G vs. that good defense, and Blake Bortles? His numbers are GREAT the last few weeks. I want certain people here to know I in no way am looking back to the days when Josh Freeman imploded harder than the forgettable bad guy at the end of Ant-Man and how said certain people seemed to get endless glee out of that, and am thereby hoping Blork plays just well enough to get a contract extension long enough to drag the Jaguars back down to the Eternal Top Five Draft Pick Pit of Hell they’ve been in for years. Because that would be wrong.

Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys: Ezekiel Elliott is back, which means people can start pretending Dak Prescott is actually a good QB again.

Week 15 Results
EvilDead: 5-0
oldmanscene24: 5-0
Oddsmakers: 5-0
karmajay: 4-1
PorkSmoothie89: 4-1
tboon: 4-1
LeapingGnome: 4-1
MilkmanDanimal: 4-1
Vector: 3-2
iaintgotnopants: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
sr_malo: 3-2
Torq: 3-2
ballnchained: 2-3
Rat Boy: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
Infyrnos: 2-3
TheGameGuru: 2-3
Zaque: 2-3
Jayhawker: 2-3
cube: 1-4

Season to Date
*Legion*: 49-26
Oddsmakers: 49-26
PorkSmoothie89: 46-29
ballnchained: 45-25
oldmanscene24: 45-30
MilkmanDanimal: 45-30
tboon: 44-26
TheGameGuru: 44-31
Vector: 43-32
Infyrnos: 43-32
iaintgotnopants: 43-32
Rat Boy: 41-34
EvilDead: 41-29
karmajay: 40-35
cube: 38-32
LeapingGnome: 37-38
garion333: 36-24
Jayhawker: 36-34
Torq: 35-30
Zaque: 34-41
Abu5217: 32-38
kaostheory: 31-24
sr_malo: 30-30
UpToIsomorphism: 27-23
Kush15: 15-20
Jowner: 5-5
Minase: 4-1
Nomad: 4-1