NFL 2017 Week 15 Thread

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Random Thoughts:

Inclement weather in a good football game is a bad thing; a blizzard in the upcoming New England-Pittsburgh game would suck, because I want to see those teams play. Some sort of weird freak high winds causing wildfires and blowing smoke over that Rams-Eagles game would have meant it just wasn't going to be two good teams measuring up against each other, and we'd have been cheated. A hurricane coming along and washing away the New Orleans Saints and Atlanta Falcons would be . . . um . . . sorry, I appear to have lost my train of thought.

Anyhoo . . .

Bad weather makes bad football games AWESOME. There is no way Colts vs. the PeterBills was going to be anything but an endless series of dumpoffs, bad decisions, and trite statements from a low-end announcing team trying desperately to make the game entertaining. It was going to suck in every possible way, and I watched almost all of it. There was something like six inches of snow on the field by the second quarter, and it seemed like every couple plays guys ran across the field with blowers to clear off the yard markers. You had people falling down, balls wobbling through the air, hilariously off-target kicks, and it even went to overtime. Overtime! We got more! Can you imagine being excited by the possibility of overtime for Colts-Bills without a massive snowstorm? I feel like if both teams' records are consistently under .500, snow-making machines from nearby downhill skiing places have to be brought in just to try to make the game interesting. And, yes, I do happen to think blowing snow in Tampa would make the pirate ship look lovely.

- Weirdness in officiating; the aforementioned Bills-Colts game appeared to end on a successful two-point conversion at the end of the game, proving that Pagano apparently has more balls than coaching skill. Everybody celebrated for at least a full minute before someone noticed a flag and the referees conferred; somehow, much later, there was an OPI call, and Vinatieri instead had to make a very long XP that looked like it was going to miss about 10 yards left but curved in. Odd. Also, in Tampa, TE O.J. Howard catches a pass, takes a few steps, and gets hammered, losing the ball. It's ruled an incomplete, plus a 15-yard penalty. Refs discuss it, no penalty, but still incomplete. Jim Caldwell briefly wakes up and challenges, and it's changed to a fumble. Isn't that the kind of judgement call you can't override? Odd.

- At one point in the second half, Tampa had four turnovers, Stafford had five incompletions, and Detroit was winning by a touchdown. Detroit is not a good football team.

- Aaron Rodgers is apparently coming back. This is either going to be a great comeback story, or that collarbone is pulling a Romo and he's going to get broken in half.

- Legion is annoyed I skipped the 49ers game, because he wants to swoon at Jimmy. I didn't choose the game because I just assume the 49ers are terrible. They are, it's just the new QB is TOTES ADORBS.

- New England lost to Miami, essentially making this a must-win game against Pittsburgh in many ways. Jacksonville actually has a viable shot at a first-round bye.

- What the hell did I just write?

- In shocking news, Cleveland fired their GM. Hue Jackson apparently won the world's saddest power struggle.

TEH GAMEZ

MAKE YOUR GAME PICKS HERE

Green Bay Packers at Carolina Panthers: Aaron Rodgers is enough where Green Bay could be great, but the defense still has to stop somebody and not so sure that's happening.

Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills: I feel like Jay Cutler's entire career is a "30 for 30: Ever Wonder What Could Have Happened" in waiting. I'm not sure if Taylor's ready to go for the Bills or Peterman is out of the concussion protocol or I don't care as long as it snows again.

Arizona Cardinals at Washington Football Team: Kirk Cousins has dropped off a bit this year, as if somehow losing his two best WRs is a problem. One of his issues is he doesn't have quite as many choices to select from next year after finally escaping Washington; San Francisco's selected their pretty boy new QB, and Jacksonville is going to be re-signing an improved Blake Bortles to a long-term deal.

Spoiler:

OH GOD PLEASE RE-SIGN BORTLES TO A LONG-TERM DEAL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Los Angeles Rams at Seattle Seahawks: The Rams played the Seahawks tough when they sucked, so, now that they're good, they should win by like 90 or something, right?

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers: The Patriots looked awful last week, and the Steelers offense was great. Don't care; the Patriots usually own the Steelers.

Week 14 Results
TheGameGuru: 5-0
EvilDead: 5-0
cube: 5-0
Vector: 4-1
iaintgotnopants: 4-1
Infyrnos: 4-1
Zaque: 3-2
Torq: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
garion333: 3-2
PorkSmoothie89: 3-2
ballnchained: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
karmajay: 3-2
tboon: 3-2
Oddsmakers: 3-2
LeapingGnome: 2-3
Rat Boy: 2-3
MilkmanDanimal: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
oldmanscene24: 2-3

Season to Date
*Legion*: 46-24
Oddsmakers: 44-26
ballnchained: 43-22
PorkSmoothie89: 42-28
TheGameGuru: 42-28
Infyrnos: 41-29
MilkmanDanimal: 41-29
oldmanscene24: 40-30
Vector: 40-30
iaintgotnopants: 40-30
tboon: 40-25
Rat Boy: 39-31
cube: 37-28
karmajay: 36-34
garion333: 36-24
EvilDead: 36-29
Jayhawker: 34-31
LeapingGnome: 33-37
Torq: 32-28
Zaque: 32-38
kaostheory: 31-24
Abu5217: 30-35
sr_malo: 27-28
UpToIsomorphism: 27-23
Kush15: 15-20
Jowner: 5-5
Minase: 4-1
Nomad: 4-1

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

- Legion is annoyed I skipped the 49ers game, because he wants to swoon at Jimmy. I didn't choose the game because I just assume the 49ers are terrible. They are, it's just the new QB is TOTES ADORBS.

I am annoyed because a 3-10 49ers team is *favored* to win over the 8-5 Titans that currently hold the top wildcard slot in the AFC. Favored to win! That would have been a great pick'em game. It has absolutely nothing to do with how dreamy James Richard Garoppolo is.

James Richard.

Spoiler:

Jimmy Dick.

In other news, Blake Bortles' oh-god-this-is-how-he-ends-up-staying performance against Seattle was played with the flu. Apparently Sick Bortles makes some sick throws, as opposed to healthy Bortles, who makes throws that make everyone else sick.

RG3 says he turned down a contract offer from Arizona this spring, because it wasn't a "good fit".

Michael Bennett isn't the only jackass on the Seattle defensive line.

Kenny Britt apparently also had offers from the Chiefs and Jaguars. I'm sorry, what? Well, thanks Belichick for saving me from that indignity.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers: The Patriots looked awful last week, and the Steelers offense was great. Don't care; the Patriots usually own the Steelers.

Is there a way to hope both teams lose?

Green Bay Packers at Carolina Panthers: Aaron Rodgers. Packers.

Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills: I gotta say that I have absolutely no idea. Tyrod Taylor isn't 100% and Peterman is even worse when he's not hurt, so Cutler for two in a row? Dolphins.

Arizona Cardinals at Washington: Jay Gruden is not a great HC and should likely be fired. McVay is clearly the reason the offense wasn't trash. The Cards are starting Blaine Gabbert though. Washington.

Los Angeles Rams at Seattle Seahawks: Russell Wilson is a f*cking wizard. Seahawks.

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers: I don't think the Steelers are all that, but that WR/RB combo they have is something else so I'll give em the edge at home. Pitt.

ccesarano wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers: The Patriots looked awful last week, and the Steelers offense was great. Don't care; the Patriots usually own the Steelers.

Is there a way to hope both teams lose?

sh*t, and I thought you were new to this. Attaboy!

ccesarano wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers: The Patriots looked awful last week, and the Steelers offense was great. Don't care; the Patriots usually own the Steelers.

Is there a way to hope both teams lose?

If only

McNabb told me they could tie.

LeapingGnome wrote:

McNabb told me they could tie.

Before or after he got suspended by ESPN? Also, he was on ESPN, apparently.

Despite my horrible ability to pick a winner here, I'm actually having a good year in the sportsbook. Maybe next year we could play ATS?

Spoiler:

Make things a little "interesting"?

"Inclement weather in a good football game is a bad thing"

This is just wrong! Good football teams can play in bad weather. Being a NE fan the first game that came to mind was that Patriots - Broncos game played a few years ago in the wind storm. It was a run heavy game in one direction and pass heavy in the other. The game went into OT and both teams scored in the 30s. The Patriots gambled and chose to receive in OT. I say dome games have more predictable play calling and are boring!

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

A hurricane coming along and washing away the New Orleans Saints and Atlanta Falcons would be . . .

Good for humanity?

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

- Aaron Rodgers is apparently coming back. This is either going to be a great comeback story, or that collarbone is pulling a Romo and he's going to get broken in half.

True fact: Romo re-broke his collarbone (and missed the rest of the 2015 season) against ... the Panthers.

Hello, Thomas Davis!

IMAGE(http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2447984.1448583624!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_1200/aptopix-panthers-cowboys-football.jpg)

Lastly, here's the Stat of the Day:

Cam Newton is the only player in the NFL with at least five rushing touchdowns in each of the last seven seasons. (source)

That says more about the sorry state of RB play in the NFL than it does about Cam, honestly.

Josh McCown underwent season-ending hand surgery after breaking it this past weekend.

Meaning, for the Jets, it's Bryce Petty time! (Because it's never going to be Christian Hackenberg time.)

Todd Bowles on Wednesday said has no plans "right now" to play Christian Hackenberg this season

I'd like to think that when the reporter asked the question, Bowles gave him his biggest "are you f*cking kidding me?" face.

sr_malo wrote:

Despite my horrible ability to pick a winner here, I'm actually having a good year in the sportsbook. Maybe next year we could play ATS?

Spoiler:

Make things a little "interesting"?

I’ve asked for this for years but seriously it’s enough work for someone to just do the thread and picks as it is to then also pick a time for freezing the Vegas lines and then going with that.

TheGameguru wrote:
sr_malo wrote:

Despite my horrible ability to pick a winner here, I'm actually having a good year in the sportsbook. Maybe next year we could play ATS?

Spoiler:

Make things a little "interesting"?

I’ve asked for this for years but seriously it’s enough work for someone to just do the thread and picks as it is to then also pick a time for freezing the Vegas lines and then going with that.

I imagine we'd get even less participation simply from the confusion over spreads and everything.

Ah, garbage Thursday night football, you are back with a vengeance.

garion333 wrote:
TheGameguru wrote:
sr_malo wrote:

Despite my horrible ability to pick a winner here, I'm actually having a good year in the sportsbook. Maybe next year we could play ATS?

Spoiler:

Make things a little "interesting"?

I’ve asked for this for years but seriously it’s enough work for someone to just do the thread and picks as it is to then also pick a time for freezing the Vegas lines and then going with that.

I imagine we'd get even less participation simply from the confusion over spreads and everything.

Yep. Participation rates are the biggest concern.

The logistical issues are solvable problems, but it's not worth it if only a handful or so actually want to play that way and keep up with it.

Thought I would mention that I have a thread up for the college bowl pick-em if anyone wants to sign up. The more the merrier.

NCAA Football Bowl Pick'em - Starts Saturday, Dec. 16th!

Okay, let's get this rolling. We have three choices this year.

One Entry to Rule Them All

Why Not Two Entries?

One Entry, But Ranked by Confidence

Passwords are all stan. All three are hosted on ESPN, so I hope that works for all.

I'm in for the single entry and the confidence. Multiple entries are for losers!

Spread the word and lets get folks signed up. We don't have much time.

Also, Netflix's The Crown Season 2 is really good, y'all...

...what?

Aaaand they lost. Apparently they've blown seven halftime leads this year. Record is eight. That's on the coaches more than the players imho. Poor adjustments means poor coaching. Pagano is going to be gone.

garion333 wrote:

Aaaand they lost. Apparently they've blown seven halftime leads this year. Record is eight. That's on the coaches more than the players imho. Poor adjustments means poor coaching. Pagano is going to be gone.

One can only hope. He makes a MUCH better DC than HC. I hope he replaces Pees.

The irony is, they had their head coach when Pagano was out fighting leukemia.

Should never have let Bruce Arians get away.

I still have a lot of respect for the work their offensive staff is doing. Jacoby Brissett is not a starting QB. Everything that's wrong with him right now was written all over his draft scouting reports. He is who we thought he was. And then to acquire him after the season's started and stick him right into the lineup is, well, not Plan A. But Chud and Brian Schottenheimer have polished that flawed gem more than anyone could have reasonably hoped for.

That Brissett is functional at all is impressive. That he's got an 81.7 passer rating is miraculous. That's only good for 26th in the league, but given the circumstances, that's amazing.

Also, they're squeezing every last drop of production out of Frank Gore, because, well, that positional cupboard has been bare since ol' Grigson went all in with Trent Richardson. A 4th round pick spent on Marlon Mack isn't enough to fix that.

But of course, they're near the bottom of the league in both pass and run defense again, so they can only do so much.

Schottenheimer ended up back in college football for a year after his 3-year stint as the Rams offensive coordinator damaged his stock (23rd, 30th, and 28th in total offense). But given that the Rams sunk straight to 32nd in offense for two straight years after he left, just maybe it wasn't on him.

Maybe Chud gets another shot at HC! Still feel bad for him being fired and all.

Reading exactly what he said makes it sound so much worse.

Trent Brown headed to IR. Had been playing with a torn labrum. Still ranked 19th out of 81 tackles in PFF grading.

Oh great, Zane Beadles is gonna get Jimmy Dick killed.

garion333 wrote:

Maybe Chud gets another shot at HC! Still feel bad for him being fired and all.

The new Browns have only been ranked in the top 20 in offense two times. One of Romeo Crennel's years (the magic Derek Anderson season), and Chud's one year.

So we're now 3 games away from an 0-16 season in Cleveland. Left on their schedule:

* (home) a 7-6 Ravens team that has gotten hot (or at least warm) and back into the playoff picture
* (road) a 4-9 Bears team whose rookie QB is coming off his first real "good" game, and could be starting to point their arrow up
* (road) an 11-2 Steelers team who could only tank week 17 if they stay 2 games ahead of Jacksonville going into the game, else a loss and Jags win would lose their first round bye. And whose backups are better than Cleveland anyway

The Bears is the obvious best chance to win one, though if the Cincinnati game wasn't a fluke, Trubisky might be putting a few things together. If Pittsburgh doesn't lose either of the next two games, then maybe against their backups.

John Dorsey went on a radio interview and ripped the previous regime, saying they "didn't get real players".

Oh boy this will be fun.

Panthers owner Jerry Richardson under investigation for workplace misconduct. Under investigation by the team he owns, mind you.

Rat Boy wrote:

Panthers owner Jerry Richardson under investigation for workplace misconduct. Under investigation by the team he owns, mind you.

I have no idea what's happening (and wouldn't have reason to), and Panthers Twitter doesn't either.

Update: "Race-related" seems to have taken an early lead.

Getting a "Something went wrong" error on the site. Picks this week:
Green Bay
Dolphins
Cardinals
Rams
Steelers

Enix wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Panthers owner Jerry Richardson under investigation for workplace misconduct. Under investigation by the team he owns, mind you.

I have no idea what's happening (and wouldn't have reason to), and Panthers Twitter doesn't either.

Update: "Race-related" seems to have taken an early lead.

PFT is wondering why the team he owns is doing the investigation, and not the NFL:

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com...

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