NFL 2017 Week 7 Thread

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Let’s talk about the Cleveland Browns. I posited in the prior thread earlier today the Browns might be the worst team in the history of professional sports. I feel like that was an incorrect statement, and I need to apologize for it.

The Cleveland Browns are undeniably and unquestionably the singly worst team in the history of professional sports.

It is stunning how bad the Browns are, have been, and almost undoubtedly will continue to be. Here’s a link to the Browns’ franchise history on Pro Football Reference. It’s patently amazing. If you count the Browns 18 full seasons since their rebirth:

-The Browns have one playoff appearance.

-The Browns have two winning seasons.

-The Browns have finished anywhere other than last in their division FOUR times. FOUR. They have finished last 14 out of 18 possible seasons.

-The Browns have had a positive point differential in only those two winning seasons. They have had triple-digit negative point differential eight times.

-The Browns have had 24 first-round draft picks since 1999, and a combined 18 Pro Bowls between them. Ten of those are Joe Thomas, four more are Alex Mack, two are Joe Haden, and the other 21 players combined have TWO combined (one each for Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow II). Those are not necessarily Pro Bowls while playing for the Browns; that’s counting the entire careers of those 24 players.

-Of the Browns five first-round picks between 2012 and 2014, only two of them are in the league. Trent Richardson, Johnny Manziel, and Justin Gilbert are all out of the league, and the two remaining players are Barkevious Mingo and Brandon Weeden. To repeat; Brandon Weeden has had at worst the second-best career of those five players. BRANDON WEEDEN.

-13 different players have led the Browns in rushing for a season, and 12 receiving. The turnover at RB and WR isn’t as crazy as QB, but it isn’t that far behind.

-The almost-playoffs 1999 team ranked 8th in points scored. The 2002 playoff team was 19th. The next-best was 24th. The Cleveland Browns offense has been so execrably bad, they have ranked between 30 and 32 for points scored nine teams. Again, half of the seasons of their existence, they have been one of the three worst scoring teams in the league.

The Browns QB legacy at this point is legendary, but, even if you ignore how bad Browns quarterbacks have been, they’re still the worst team in the history of professional sports. Granted, the QB issues reflect into all of the above, but it’s such a tiny subset of the organizational incompetence that it honestly gets over-emphasized in how bad that team has been.

Random Thoughts:
The Bears are a complete joke. The Vikings are riding Case Keenum as far as he can take them. The Packers are trying to win with zero offensive line and Brett Hundley. The Lions defense has regressed to the mean/utter garbage, and Stafford is injured. We have entered Upside Down, and the NFC North is becoming the AFC South.

Speaking of the Packers, Aaron Rodgers breaking his collarbone, ODB breaking his ankle, and J.J. Watt having his own injury means almost every commercial I’m forced to watch during games features a player probably out for the year. It’s like the Madden curse, but hocking crap I don’t want.

Jacksonville appears to have a legitimately excellent defense and a legitimately existing Blake Bortles.

The 49ers lost their first game by 20. They have lost their next six games by 13. COMBINED. I can’t recall ever seeing that, and it certainly implies the 49ers are far better than their record. Which, to be fair, at 0-7 isn’t notably difficult. I will say that C.J. Beathard looks like he’s going to be the next guy to really continue the great legacy of QBs from the University of Iowa.

Spoiler:

There aren’t any great, average, or even marginal QBs from the University of Iowa. The only QBs drafted from Iowa with actual game stats are Ricky Stanzi, Mark Vlasic, Chuck Long, and somebody named Randy Duncan who was the first overall pick in 1959 and played 14 games total.

17-0 is the new 28-3. Have to love the Falcons and their ability to implode like nobody else.

GAME PICKS
Standard weekly reminder, your two lowest weeks will be dropped. MAKE YOUR WEEKLY GAME PICKS HERE.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Buffalo Bills: I am perfectly aware I should probably be picking Buffalo here, but if I’m stupid enough to be a Bucs fan everything else is pretty much already on the table, right? I’d say this would be a big revenge game with Ryan Fitzpatrick potentially playing (depending on Winston’s shoulder) and returning to face his old team, but he’s basically been on half the team’s in the league at this point so there’s not much motivation that can be spread around to that many teams. By the way, did you know Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard? Because he went to Harvard. At Harvard. Incidentally, do you know where Cameron Brate went to school? Also, I'm somewhat tired of hearing the word "Harvard".

New Orleans Saints at Green Bay Packers: No, no, hear me out. I’m picking the Packers. The Saints are remarkably worse on the road on natural turf, and, while the weather isn’t terrible yet, it’s certainly going to be cooler than in the dome. The Saints horrible defense may actually make Hundley feel vaguely terrible, and the Packers actually occasionally have something resembling a defense. In the Superdome, the Saints would win by about 50, but, outdoors in Green Bay? WHAT THE HELL.

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins: Taking the Josh McCown-led Jets on the road. I need a drink.

Denver Broncos at Los Angeles Chargers: Home game for the Broncos. Effectively. There has to be some kind of “OH MY GOD THAT WAS HUMILIATING” bounce-back from that Broncos defense, and the seven people in that soccer stadium are going to get to watch the wrath of Von Miller.

Atlanta Falcons at New England Patriots: The over-under on “28-3” signs in the audience is currently set on 13,400. Bet the over.

Week 6 Results
iaintgotnopants: 4-1
LeapingGnome: 4-1
Vector: 4-1
Torq: 3-2
sr_malo: 3-2
karmajay: 3-2
ballnchained: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 3-2
garion333: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
Abu5217: 2-3
EvilDead: 2-3
Kush15: 2-3
MilkmanDanimal: 2-3
Zaque: 2-3
tboon: 2-3
oldmanscene24: 2-3
PorkSmoothie89: 2-3
cube: 2-3
Oddsmakers: 2-3
UpToIsomorphism: 1-4
Rat Boy: 1-4
Infyrnos: 1-4

Season to Date
ballnchained: 21-9
*Legion*: 20-10
oldmanscene24: 20-10
TheGameGuru: 19-11
UpToIsomorphism: 18-12
PorkSmoothie89: 17-13
Jayhawker: 16-14
Vector: 16-14
karmajay: 16-14
MilkmanDanimal: 16-14
garion333: 16-9
Infyrnos: 15-15
Rat Boy: 15-15
sr_malo: 15-15
LeapingGnome: 15-15
Oddsmakers: 15-15
Torq: 14-16
tboon: 13-17
Zaque: 13-17
Abu5217: 13-17
iaintgotnopants: 13-17
EvilDead: 12-13
cube: 12-18
kaostheory: 10-10
Kush15: 10-15
Jowner: 4-1
Nomad: 4-1
Minase: 4-1

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins: Taking the Josh McCown-led Jets on the road. I need a drink.

Pretty sure you already had a couple...

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Jacksonville appears to have a legitimately excellent defense and a legitimately existing Blake Bortles.

Also a special teams that needs a kick in the ass. In a game that they lost by 10, they gave up two special teams TDs and missed two FGs.

The 49ers lost their first game by 20. They have lost their next six games by 13. COMBINED. I can’t recall ever seeing that, and it certainly implies the 49ers are far better than their record. Which, to be fair, at 0-7 isn’t notably difficult.

They're really kind of like Jaguars-lite - a good start to a defense (still WIP, but not unlike last year's Jags that had a bunch of the young pieces with some gaps to fill next year), a strong running game, and nothing at QB.

Until...

I will say that C.J. Beathard looks like he’s going to be the next guy to really continue the great legacy of QBs from the University of Iowa.

There aren’t any great, average, or even marginal QBs from the University of Iowa. The only QBs drafted from Iowa with actual game stats are Ricky Stanzi, Mark Vlasic, Chuck Long, and somebody named Randy Duncan who was the first overall pick in 1959 and played 14 games total.[

Beat Hard is to Iowa what Aaron Rodgers was to Tedford QBs. They all suck... until the chosen one appears.

J O E M O N T A N A = 10 letters
S T E V E Y O U N G = 10 letters
J O H N B R O D I E = 10 letters
J E F F G A R C I A = 10 letters

C J B E A T H A R D = 10 letters

Confirmed next 49ers Pro Bowl starting QB. #10letters

Season to Date
ballnchained: 21-9
*Legion*: 20-10

Of course the year that I'm killing it, Certis is nowhere to be found. That asshole. Got a dog and a cat and now he's forgotten all about me.

*Legion* wrote:

Of course the year that I'm killing it, Certis is nowhere to be found. That asshole. Got a dog and a cat and now he's forgotten all about me.

I thought he was busy being a QB?

Also, Milkman, this thread's title is missing its year.

I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.

That was an excellent post about the Browns, MMD.

But enough about Cleveland. So is Fitzmagic going to start for Tampa this week? Isn't he the guy who went to HARVARD? I think I heard that somewhere.

Spoiler:

Btw, nice job on these threads. I've already forgotten about what's-his-name who used to do these things.

Enix wrote:

But enough about Cleveland. So is Fitzmagic going to start for Tampa this week? Isn't he the guy who went to HARVARD? I think I heard that somewhere.

Maybe he'll go start for the Chicago Bulls since he has experience in taking over for someone got their jaw broke in a blue-on-blue scrum.

Enix wrote:

Btw, nice job on these threads. I've already forgotten about what's-his-name who used to do these things.

IMAGE(https://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/cam-newton-jumps-back-after-fumbling.gif)

Savage

Abu5217 wrote:

Savage

Tom Savage? Wasn't he benched?

I will say, while I don't know much about the other teams, listening to people discuss this season is fascinating in that everyone that should be good is awful and typically stellar divisions are full of gangrenous rot.

That's the impression folks give me, at least.

ccesarano wrote:

I will say, while I don't know much about the other teams, listening to people discuss this season is fascinating in that everyone that should be good is awful and typically stellar divisions are full of gangrenous rot.

That's the impression folks give me, at least.

Everyone sucks this year. Even the 5-1 teams, KC and Philly, aren't teams that feel like world beaters (though Wentz is on a roll). The whole damn league is 3-3. San Francisco is 0-6 and they were like 3 plays away from going 3-3 themselves. It's just a big pile of mediocrity.

Sometime will emerge from the muck, but with the way injuries are going, it may just be the team that survives.

While we're talking about why the Browns are the worst franchise in sports, let's not forget the fact that they took a classic timeless jersey design and replaced it with this:

IMAGE(http://media.cleveland.com/plain-dealer/photo/2015/04/15/-e6b802e520310350.jpg)

Which, it turns out, the team already hates, and likely plans to change again as soon as they are able.

*Legion* wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

I will say, while I don't know much about the other teams, listening to people discuss this season is fascinating in that everyone that should be good is awful and typically stellar divisions are full of gangrenous rot.

That's the impression folks give me, at least.

Everyone sucks this year. Even the 5-1 teams, KC and Philly, aren't teams that feel like world beaters (though Wentz is on a roll). The whole damn league is 3-3. San Francisco is 0-6 and they were like 3 plays away from going 3-3 themselves. It's just a big pile of mediocrity.

Sometime will emerge from the muck, but with the way injuries are going, it may just be the team that survives.

So the Pats are going to win the super bowl....

*sobs uncontrollably*

Wait, a team took a simple, classic, timeless jersey and ruined it with something godawfully ugly?

IMAGE(http://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/BucsAlarm.gif)

Whatever would that be like.

Update on Andrew Luck:

Andrew Luck needed a steroid injection to address inflammation in his shoulder this week. Though Luck's rehab and recovery have progressed more slowly than hoped, this is the first known setback in the process. But this isn't a new issue. Luck didn't wake up on Wednesday, report new soreness, and have a cortisone injection on the same day. This issue has been present for days, and possibly weeks.

It's a significant setback for his chances of playing this season. He was arguably 2-3 weeks from playing before today's news. He'll now need at least one week, and likely two weeks, of rest while the medical staff re-evaluates his progress after the injection. He'll then step back to where he was two weeks ago with a slow progression of return to practice. Do the math and Luck's earliest possible return could be six weeks from now. And that's if he progresses smoothly from today's treatment.

Realistically, I think Luck is a longshot to return in 2017. For months, the Colts have refused to put a timetable on Luck's recovery. I find it odd that Chris Ballard continued to say Luck has no timetable for return -- but told reporters definitively that injured reserve was not a consideration. All involved have been very cautious through this process. I see no reason to rush by a week or two at the end of the season. If Luck's recovery progresses perfectly from this point and if the Colts remain in contention and if Jacoby Brissett has an unexpected hiccup along the way -- we could see Luck after Week 14. More likely, the team decides to continue the strengthening program during the offseason.

There are two other important questions still unanswered here. Why does Luck have inflammation in the shoulder joint? What's the likelihood Luck will return to his pre-injury form in 2018? Those questions are outside the scope of today's feature. I'll address them in depth in next Monday's injury rounds feature. The short version is this: While there's still a chance Luck can return to form, there is reason for concern that this is more than routine post-operative soreness and Luck isn't guaranteed a full recovery.

Jameis Winston appears on track to recover well, but he's being considered questionable for this week's game if only out of caution.

I don't watch the games but I still like reading the threads about football. I felt bad last year slapping *Legion* around with gut instinct and moxy alone.

*Legion* wrote:

Of course the year that I'm killing it

*Legion* wrote:

Everyone sucks this year.

I was at the barber shop and a bears fan gave me crap about my Ravens. I replied by saying the entire game was like watching two blind boxers on ice.

I’m picking all of the away teams this week.

That can’t go wrong, right?

Ever feel like you're getting a bit piled on...

IMAGE(http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/56e1a81c910584cc5e8b555f-1200-600/ap_847291207125.jpg)

Seems redundant. I'd think being a Cleveland Browns fan is already enough of a sign you need help.

cube wrote:

I’m picking all of the away teams this week.

That can’t go wrong, right?

I went all home teams. =p

I sent the Cleveland commentary part of the original post to my friend from Cleveland. He addressed the part about first round draft picks by saying "We have ruined the lives of so many fine, talented young men".

Reddit's NFL page has a thread going, "what NFL fact sounds like complete bullsh*t but is actually true?"

A couple of my favorites:

All time list of receptions after the age of 40:
* Jerry Rice: 161
* Brett Favre: 1
* Everyone else in NFL history: 0
Carson Palmer has more career solo tackles than Vernon Gholston
Adam Vinatieri ran down and tackled Herschel Walker.
If Tom Brady has a 12-4 season, his career win percentage goes down.

For poor ganged-up on Iso:

The Browns do not have the longest playoff win drought.

For Enix because of that whats-his-name comment:

The Carolina Panthers have never had back to back winning seasons.

And a bonus for all the NFC South fans:

Spoiler:
The Atlanta Falcons choked a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl

Herschel Walker worked for Donald Trump.

muraii wrote:

Herschel Walker worked for Donald Trump.

You mean: "Donald Trump destroyed Herschel Walker's job."

Why, yes,I did do a Legion-esque ninja edit long after posting originally to fix a typo or two, why do you ask.

Anyhooo . . . to continue piling on the Browns more, I just noticed this over on Football Outsiders; it's their calculated playoff odds based on DVOA, future strength of schedule, and other factors. Well, not just playoffs, though they still rank KC's odds incredibly good for both playoffs and comparably for the Super Bowl itself. Here's a pic of that table:

IMAGE(http://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/image001.png)

For a moment, everybody but Jayhawker ignore those first two columns, and instead look at the last one. FO rates 0-6 SF as having about a 17% chance for the first overall pick. 0-6 Cleveland?

70.2%.

After six games.

Over 70%.

Wow.

Bring in Kaep and how would that change?

The most insane part about the Browns so far is how poorly their upgraded OL is playing.

Why would you want to at this point?

FINALLY getting Cooper involved. Hope this shakes his drops BS.

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