Case Keenum has won eight games total the last three years as a starter. Three of those wins are against Tampa, and he has averaged 794 yards and 14 TDs per game against the Bucs. I don’t know why this is. I just want it to stop. Of Tampa’s 11 starters in week two, 3 didn’t start in Minnesota due to injury. Of the other 8, 7 went out for at least one play, meaning only one of the opening day starters remained uninjured and kept playing at his normal “high” level. Who would that be?
Detroit got screwed out of a win by an absolutely correct call, yet again. That’s two Calvin Johnson Rule losses and then this one, at least that I can recall. I feel like a Lions-Chargers game would be an inevitable tie, as it would wind up being an endless contest of each time trying to find creative new ways to lose in hilarious fashion.
Cam Newton looks broken at this point, and just isn’t healthy enough to carry a team lacking Greg Olsen and Jabba Benjamin on what remains of his shoulders. The Saints had given up more than a thousand yards in their first two games, yet basically shut the Panthers down. Cam has clearly played a style of game that caused him to take a lot of hits, but this is all pretty sudden. I like Cam, divisional rivalries notwithstanding, and hope he gets healthy again.
Last week’s TNF game with the Rams and 49ers was by far the most entertaining game of the year. Between their new teenaged coach and the acquisition of some actual offense players (hey, surprise, Sammy Watkins got dinged up), the Rams put up loads of points, and made just enough stupid mistakes to repeatedly give Brian Hoyer a chance to get the team down the field. It was INSANELY entertaining.
There was a point on Sunday when the top five fantasy QBs were Jared Goff, Case Keenum, Brian Hoyer, Blake Bortles, and Josh McCown.
Bill O’Brien, up two points, against a far superior team, with a couple minutes left, facing a 4th and 1, chose to kick the field goal and give Tom Brady a chance to beat them (which, of course, happened). Bill O’Brien is a moron.
So . . . the Jaguars are 2-1. Bortles threw four TDs when not behind. Fun mental exercise; what would it take for you to actually start believing Blake Bortles was a good QB? Like, to the point where you might say, “Man, I wish Blake Bortles was my team’s starting QB.”
THIS WEEK’S GAMES:
Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings:
Case Keenum yet again proved he’s a solid QB against one team in the league. This is not that team. Also, I’m picking the Lions out of pure spite. @#$!! Case Keenum.
Cincinnati Bad Football Team at Cleveland Bad Football Team:
Neither of these teams actually deserves a name at this point. I might think about Cleveland with a healthy pass rush considering Cincinnati’s awful offensive line, but, well, this game pretty much comes down to a “I guess Cincinnati has some offensive guys who could do exciting stuff” and the Browns are still the Browns.
Los Angeles Rams at Dallas Cowboys:
If Jared Goff turns into an actual, real QB, it’s going to utterly annihilate any reputation Jeff Fisher ever had as an NFL coach. You can argue his mediocre record was at least partially due to some bad ownership or terrible drafting, but Goff was historically awful last year, and . . . is he really maybe not terrible? But, hey, it’s in Dallas.
Philadelphia Eagles at Los Angeles Chargers:
There are already rumors that the NFL would prefer to have the Chargers move back to San Diego, which would be tragic for the tens of fans who show up at their soccer stadium.
New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers:
LEARN TO THROW THE @#$!!! DEEP BALL JAMEIS.
A reminder, your two lowest weeks are dropped, so feel free to join in anytime.
Week 3 Results
Rat Boy: 2-3
Season to Date
Rat Boy: 8-7