NFL 2017 Week 2 Thread

Pages

Well, week one is in the books, and the title of that book is “Awful Football Games I Have Watched”. Seriously. What the hell was that? The only reasonably exciting game of the bunch was a late Monday game that most people didn’t even watch.

Highlights (and I use that term very loosely):

-Jacksonville beating the snot out of Houston. Jacksonville really hasn’t had a QB for years, and Houston gave them the opportunity to not need one.

-DeShone Kizer, not looking . . . completely terrible. Just pretty bad. Seems like one of those guys who could succeed in a place like Dallas with a great line, excellent running game, good skill position players, all that. Instead, he’s in Cleveland, and he’s going to get sacked 10 times a game because he won’t get rid of the ball.

-Tampa didn’t give up a yard in week one. DOMINANT DEFENSE.

-Adrian Peterson being awful and pissy for the Saints is something we can all enjoy for three more weeks until he’s cut by the Saints. If he wants to go after Sean Payton with a switch, I would say that would be a bad thing to do if I were under oath. It does look like the Saints are going to continue their tradition of having the worst defense in the league, which is always entertaining.

-The Bengals lost 20-0 to the Ravens. The Texans lost 29-7 to the Jaguars. Guess what Thursday Night Football is this week?

-At one point Josh McCown was 16/22. For 112 yards. Completion percentage is the singly-most misleading stat in the NFL, except for, of course, QB WINZ.

Make your week 2 picks here!

Tennessee at Jacksonville: The Titans are probably the best team in the AFC South, which is pretty much like being the least syphilis-riddled prostitute on an unpopular corner in a bad part of Detroit.

Pittsburgh at Minnesota: I think the Vikings are genuinely and impressively average, and this game is an opportunity to prove it’s much harder to play football when you aren’t playing the Saints.

Miami at Chargers: Miami gets a home win after escaping major damage from Irma, and teammates celebrate while Jay Cutler takes a nap at the 50.

Washington at Rams: The best player on the Rams’ offense last weekend was Scott Tolzien. I know Jared Goff was actually good, but, you know, the Colts are bad, and Jared Goff was so bad last year even the Jaguars wouldn’t have started him for more than like a season and a half, maybe two seasons. SO BAD.

Dallas at Denver: Hey, look, a genuinely interesting game. Think Denver basically has enough defense to slow down Dallas’ offense, and make it interesting. Kind of a toss-up for me.

Week 1 Results
tboon: 5-0
Infyrnos: 5-0
garion333: 5-0
oldmanscene24: 4-1
sr_malo: 4-1
UpToIsomorphism: 4-1
kaostheory: 4-1
Torq: 4-1
Minase: 4-1
PorkSmoothie89: 4-1
Oddsmakers: 4-1
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
ballnchained: 3-2
TheGameGuru: 3-2
LeapingGnome: 3-2
Zaque: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
karmajay: 3-2
cube: 3-2
Rat Boy: 2-3
EvilDead: 2-3
iaintgotnopants: 2-3
Kush15: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
Vector: 2-3

Yeah whoops I forgot to pick last week.

Good job on getting this up on Wednesday again.

Houston and Cincy are the Thursday night game? Even more reason to ignore the sh*tty Thursday games!

Tough picks this week. I'm waffling over pretty much all of them.

Tennessee at Jacksonville: Well, well, well. I'm only gonna do this once, but before I do I've gotta ask: Did Tennessee even play last weekend? I feel like I heard jack sh*t about their game. And they lost? Why? I have no idea because the Titans are one of the most forgotten teams. I'm going to say Jags for just this one time because you know they're gonna f*ck us all over by losing. Jacksonville. I feel dirty.

Pittsburgh at Minnesota: Minny OL went up against the Saints and looked pretty decent. That's not gonna happen against Pitt. Steelers gonna sack the sh*t out of Bradford. Pittsburgh.

Chargers at Miami: It's actually Miami in LA. I guess the Chargers at "home"? Los Angeles.

Rams at Washington: This is another one that's listed wrong. It's Washington in Los Angeles. Goddamit. Stupid Los Angeles has 35 NFL teams atm. Stupid empty stadium games. The Rams said they'd wait a few weeks to put in Aaron Donald, but now they expect him to play this week. Sorry, but Washington is likely to get eaten alive. Goff for MVP! Los Angeles.

Dallas at Denver: Altitude sickness for 100, Alex. Denver.

I apparently refuse to recognize the NFL has returned to Los Angeles. Then again, based on the attendance, it appears a pretty significant portion of L.A. feels the same. Updated.

Also, I'm thinking the weekly game picks should allow everyone's worst week or two to be dropped, sent a note to Legion about that. So, if you missed a week, join in anyways and it'll all work out.

Wait so Pick'em site is wrong and the LA teams are at home?

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I apparently refuse to recognize the NFL has returned to Los Angeles. Then again, based on the attendance, it appears a pretty significant portion of L.A. feels the same.

Refs, too.

tboon wrote:

Wait so Pick'em site is wrong and the LA teams are at home?

Correct

garion333 wrote:
tboon wrote:

Wait so Pick'em site is wrong and the LA teams are at home?

Correct

OK, thanks. Close games with teams traveling from the opposite coast, seems like it would make a difference.

tboon wrote:
garion333 wrote:
tboon wrote:

Wait so Pick'em site is wrong and the LA teams are at home?

Correct

OK, thanks. Close games with teams traveling from the opposite coast, seems like it would make a difference.

Yeah, the Chargers coming to Miami is definitely diff than the Fins heading to California.

I've corrected the home/away status of the LA games.

Also, Milkman, A+ thread banner.

Yeah, sorry about flipping the games; it's been a long week.

Yeah, sorry about flipping the games; it's been a long week.

Long enough to double post about it.

We get it. You are sorry.

Double post because Bortles sucks.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Double post because Bortles sucks.

Bortles 2017 win percentage: 100%
Winston 2017 win percentage: 0%

IMAGE(https://i.imgur.com/lR4yeKl.png)

Ouch

IMAGE(http://u.cubeupload.com/MilkmanDanimal/batbam.gif)

This game is... wow.

Even the worst games are palatable though when you place a bet thats in play.

Ah, almost halftime and I haven't really missed much.

I enjoy bad football games for humor value but I have my limits. Ugh.

Football Outsiders trashed Bill O'Brien and running a QB-unfriendly offense with QBs not prepared to run any such thing:

A lot has been written these past few days about Bill O'Brien's management of his quarterback situation. He gave all the first-team reps this offseason to Tom Savage, got one look at Tom Savage in an actual NFL game, and immediately switched to Deshaun Watson. This does not come as a surprise to the writer, who wrote this offseason in Football Outsiders Almanac 2017 (still available!) that the highlight of Savage's career would probably be his unquestioned No. 1 status in this training camp. Savage is a slow-processing, slow-footed quarterback who was built to look great in training camp practices and preseason games where he wouldn't be pressured by the defense. He basically threw Houston's No. 1 and No. 2 tight ends into concussions, and got DeAndre Hopkins slammed around to boot.

(...)

And, perhaps most importantly, Houston's offense under O'Brien continues to do absolutely nothing to open up players outside of the structure of the offense. Once Watson was put in, Jacksonville teed off with aplomb knowing that there were no quick throws for the rookie to go to.

(...)

It's very easy to get lost in bad players and raw quarterbacks and assume that things can't be better because the talent is low. That story is, verbatim, what we constantly hear about Houston's offense under O'Brien. "He's doing the best he can with Bryom FitzHoyerSavWeiler!"

But good offenses find the easy yards that they can to buffer these kinds of things. Just last year, the Bills had the 18th-best pass offense with half a season of Sammy Watkins and Robert Woods as their main receivers. The Bengals finished with the 11th-best passing offense with a half-season of A.J. Green and loved their skill players so much they immediately drafted John Ross in the top 10.

O'Brien made a big show of firing his offensive coordinator, hiring nobody this year, and making sure the media knew that the heat was on him. Well, it's here Bill. No more scapegoats. Your offense doesn't work as presently constructed with this personnel. You haven't corrected it. Fix it or this season will hit the bricks.

Bortles nearing 100 consecutive pass attempts without an INT

Since Marrone has been in charge, Bortles has completed 63.3 percent of his passes (62 of 98) for 751 yards with three touchdowns and no interceptions (though he did lose two fumbles).

More importantly, Bortles is 2-1 in those games

Marrone fixed BORTLESMANIA! BORTLES WORLD TOUR 2017: THE AWAKENING marches on!

Spoiler:

It was all Gus's fault all along!

*Legion* wrote:

Bortles nearing 100 consecutive pass attempts without an INT

Since Marrone has been in charge, Bortles has completed 63.3 percent of his passes (62 of 98) for 751 yards with three touchdowns and no interceptions (though he did lose two fumbles).

More importantly, Bortles is 2-1 in those games

Marrone fixed BORTLESMANIA! BORTLES WORLD TOUR 2017: THE AWAKENING marches on!

Spoiler:

It was all Gus's fault all along!

Congrats, Bort! You finally have more wins than pick sixes! Just what everyone aims to have in their fourth year starting!

I didn't even get to see the final play of the Texans/Bengals game because the stupid local channel cut out to the news while the officials were deciding whether or not to put one second back on the clock. Probably the only really interesting play of the game and they cut the feed. And the video in the link above doesn't work for me for some reason. Bah.

*Legion* wrote:

Bortles nearing 100 consecutive pass attempts without an INT

Since Marrone has been in charge, Bortles has completed 63.3 percent of his passes (62 of 98) for 751 yards with three touchdowns and no interceptions (though he did lose two fumbles).

More importantly, Bortles is 2-1 in those games

Marrone fixed BORTLESMANIA! BORTLES WORLD TOUR 2017: THE AWAKENING marches on!

Spoiler:

It was all Gus's fault all along!

I'm sure all of us are looking forward to Bortles being just good enough this year to get a Stafford-esque new contract before going back to being King Garbageman in the future.

bighoppa wrote:

I didn't even get to see the final play of the Texans/Bengals game because the stupid local channel cut out to the news while the officials were deciding whether or not to put one second back on the clock. Probably the only really interesting play of the game and they cut the feed. And the video in the link above doesn't work for me for some reason. Bah.

If you drop out the the https session (remove the s from the link) the video works.

Abu5217 wrote:

If you drop out the the https session (remove the s from the link) the video works.

Yep, that worked. Nope, wasn't that interesting. Thanks, Abu.

I will say Watson looks leagues better than Savage, but anyone with one cataract-clouded eye could see that. I still don't know how they went with Savage to start the season. Football Outsiders seems pretty spot on.

It's pretty clear that Bill O'Brien sucks as a HC/OC.

Pages