This thread is for the discussion of current events relating to trans rights, for discussion of the lives of trans people and difficulties they face, and for basic questions about the lives and experiences of trans people. (If basic questions become dominant we'll look at making a Q&A thread at that time.)
SallyNasty wrote:There is nothing magical about a penis(my own excluded)
Slight derail, but we all just glossed over the fact that Sally has a magic penis. Carry on.
That's nasty!
nel e nel wrote:SallyNasty wrote:There is nothing magical about a penis(my own excluded)
Slight derail, but we all just glossed over the fact that Sally has a magic penis. Carry on.
That's nasty!
That's why it's magical.
Living in Greece has provided many culture shocks. One is that the American view of bodies and nudity...is somewhere between Puritanical and obsessively sexualized. Kids change swim suits on the beach here, out in the open, til age 10. Girls don't wear tops until puberty has just begun. Many men's swimsuits are...revealing or barely exist.
I explain to my students that while you can see 3d close ups of bullets going through brains on primetime tv, you won't see the top of one butt crack, so to speak. They don't really believe me.
tl;dr maybe Republicans should stop obsessing/scoping penises.
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:nel e nel wrote:SallyNasty wrote:There is nothing magical about a penis(my own excluded)
Slight derail, but we all just glossed over the fact that Sally has a magic penis. Carry on.
For most of us, it's common knowledge.
A rather, er, friendly fellow, I gather?
One of our friendliest members.
cheeze_pavilion wrote:edit: eh, on second thought, I really shouldn't play Parent's Advocate in this place.
Thanks for that. As much as we make fun of you for it, I do love when people self-edit.
Thanks. I understand this place has to be a bubble to some extent because there are too few places that feel safe so when you find one, you don't let it go.
and like I said, *I'm* going to start defending parents? Even for me, that's a client too far.
(Or to quote Anatole France: "In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets and steal loaves of bread.")
I love this quote, it gets to the heart of explaining while equal under the law leaves a whole lot of room to not be equal.
MattDaddy's whole premise is bullsh*t.. just like back in the day when they segregated black people to separate bathrooms and sections on public transport etc..Some of the same bullsh*t excuses to keep black people from enjoying the same rights as whites is now being used on the LGBTQ peeps.
Again the marginalized are forced to tolerate the intolerance of others.. that's not how this works.
MattDaddy's whole premise is bullsh*t.. just like back in the day when they segregated black people to separate bathrooms and sections on public transport etc..Some of the same bullsh*t excuses to keep black people from enjoying the same rights as whites is now being used on the LGBTQ peeps.
Again the marginalized are forced to tolerate the intolerance of others.. that's not how this works.
I can't believe in 2016 there are actual suggestions of separate bathrooms as an acceptable compromise. I expect the same bigoted BS from the one side but "separate but equal" middle ground confuses me to no end.
I'd prefer not to drag up posts that have since been moved on from, but I would like to say that the discussion helped shed light on the topic of anatomy and gender. I was born and raised in a society that determines gender based on which reproductive organs an individual has. Men have a penis. Women have a vagina. For a lot of people everything aligns with that designation just fine. With no diverse friends or family to challenge that teaching it's difficult to grasp anything in contrast. A man with a vagina. A woman with a penis. Prior to becoming part of this community that would have been nonsense to me. Now I understand it is possible. Anatomy can defy gender.
Upon reading one view or another it led me to think if I was to have a vagina instead of a penis, simple anatomical chance, that I'd still be exactly who I am now and present myself in the same way, as a man. Believe it or not, I had never considered this. It was like a glass wall shattered to allow me to walk through and into a better understanding. Better. Not complete.
The next leap is to have a female body entirely, but be exactly the same person inside. This confuses me a little between my simply being a lesbian in that instance as oppose to becoming a transgender man. What is it other than which gender one wishes to partner with that determines the difference? Maybe it's impossible to grasp without living it. Something gender related that simply feels completely wrong. I may not realise how much I need to portray myself as a man until I was unable to.
The first thing I came to realise back when, was that transgender individuals are not the stereotypes they are made out to be, by media. It was ingrained that these people were dishonest and probably a sexual predator. I'm ashamed to say I bought into that. I had no one and no where to learn otherwise from. It completely skewed my point of view.
Getting to know ClockworkHouse, even just a little, really smashed through the misconceptions. Reading her posts across various threads had me saying "She could be me, if not someone I'd have been great friends with..." and it hit hard upon discovery that she is transgender. I wasn't anything like the portrayals and neither was she. That was important, because I am not transgender. She is. Yet we are, in parts, very similar. Now she is much more intelligent and better educated, but in upbringing, interests, humour, age, and the like, I saw parts of myself. Irrespective of that she is someone I respect and trust, oddly, for not being that close. The point is the issue was suddenly humanised and made somewhat personal. This had never been the case. It wasn't supposed to be the case according to media representation.
I see parts of myself then, in others now. People can change for the better. Being uneducated on the subject and having opinions formed on lies, deceit, and misunderstanding, doesn't mean someone is a lost cause or a horrible person. I'm sure some folks may have written me off. Maybe worse. It would have been a fair assessment at the time. I think I'm a better human being now, who can somewhat help eradicate misinformation where possible, and offer support when possible. I highly doubt anyone would have predicted that.
The burden of responsibility to learn the error of my ways was on me. I was helped by those who didn't look to attack, though. That's no doubt incredibly difficult and tiring. Nevertheless, it's so much more effective than aggression or condescension. Without these people, these heroes, we're left with ignorance or friction. Keep doing what you're doing. It makes a huge difference for the better.
I don't particularly like the concept of gender as I feel that it restricts us into various cultural roles that otherwise wouldn't exist. Outside of societal brainwashing, I wouldn't be any different inside regardless of whatever "parts" I was physically born with. It's interesting how when I play MMO's, and I have both male and female characters, how differently they are sometimes treated based on the gender people perceive them (and the real life person) to be, and yet they are all controlled by the same "me". The idea of male and female doesn't make a lot of sense to me outside of the physical (and even those physical aspects are challenged) so why do we even have, or need, gender? What useful purpose does it really serve?
Yes, you're so right about how we seem to insist on categorizing and putting people into boxes. Even if it turned out that eliminating gender was "the answer," I have very strong doubts that we would be capable of doing it even if we wanted to. I would really love to see what gender would be like without discrimination. Would I still feel bothered in some ways by the concept of it? Or would I view it as simply another aspect of a person that makes that person unique? I also just think I have a lot of trouble figuring out what it is exactly that makes one gender different from another gender. It is a lot easier for me to think of each person as an individual made up of a bunch of different things than it is for me to think in broader terms of gender.
I suppose it also may be more difficult for me too because I don't really strongly feel a gender on the inside or even really know what it means. I could easily adapt to whatever body I was put into and behave accordingly per any required social masks. It generally surprises me when people admit to feeling uncomfortable with this type of idea, like for example women who only play female characters in games because it would "feel weird" playing as a male and so they never do. I've just never had that "feel weird" feeling. Sometimes I "feel weird" not having it.
With you there, folks. I don't label myself as man or woman, but to me self-labeling is fine. Labeling others and expecting them to play the roles we have in our heads is what leads to trouble.
Maybe it' even more accurate if instead of calling it self-labeling, we should call it something more like "believing people when they tell you the label they wound up with through the same indelible process you wound up with your label"?
I mean, something shorter and catchier than that, but along those lines?
Maybe it' even more accurate if instead of calling it self-labeling, we should call it something more like "believing people when they tell you the label they wound up with through the same indelible process you wound up with your label"?
I mean, something shorter and catchier than that, but along those lines?
I agree. 'Self-labeling' might imply an element of choice that I'm not intending. What I mean by it is closer to self-identification as in, "If you're looking to call me something, call me this as it's closest to where I naturally fit."
A friend offered to make me a bug-out bag, y'all. I thought about turning him down, but I said yes.
Still kind of processing that.
A friend offered to make me a bug-out bag, y'all. I thought about turning him down, but I said yes.
Still kind of processing that.
It sucks to think you could need one for the reason that I'm assuming it was suggested. But! You never know! It may come in handy for a totally unrelated incident such as armageddon. It pays to be prepared. *thinks* I should really get me one of those.
I had to Google "bug-out bag" to figure out what it was.
Sucks that you even have to consider it, but we have been, too. It's the reason I started buying Altoids last week.
If things got that bad, I'd just off myself. Life is already miserable enough without it being fascist or apocalyptic nightmare.
Freyja wrote:A friend offered to make me a bug-out bag, y'all. I thought about turning him down, but I said yes.
Still kind of processing that.
It sucks to think you could need one for the reason that I'm assuming it was suggested. But! You never know! It may come in handy for a totally unrelated incident such as armageddon. It pays to be prepared. *thinks* I should really get me one of those.
I had to Google "bug-out bag" to figure out what it was. :P
+1. I'm sorry for the reason, but it's not a bad idea to have a 72-hour survival kit anyway. Most of the supplies can be bought directly from the Red Cross, so it's pretty easy to assemble one. Which means I don't have any excuse not to have finished mine already before the mega-quake hits, but I'm getting there.
I too as of yesterday have a bug out bag. I mean, I had a get home bag but it's more serious now.
So about all that 'fear mongering' I've been up to, according to some:
https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-...
Also, given I was also told that conscience in healthcare doesn't mean people are able to refuse me healthcare for being trans:
SEC. 3. PROTECTION OF THE FREE EXERCISE OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AND MORAL CONVICTIONS.(b) Discriminatory Action Defined.—As used in subsection (a), a discriminatory action means any action taken by the Federal Government to—
*snip*
(5) otherwise discriminate against such person.
So...that's horrifically vague enough to be interpreted in any number of ways In fact pretty much the whole thing is to be honest.
I'm guessing this will only apply to Christians, of course.
This makes me so angry and I fear for that kid's well being in the future if she's stuck with her scumbag father....
Canadian mother calls for gender identity training after court ruling
A Canadian mother has called for lawyers and judges to receive better training on gender identity after two judges in the province of Alberta ordered her four-year-old child to stop wearing girls’ clothing in public.
In February, a second judge upheld the ruling, and also granted the father primary custody of the child, with Smith allowed limited access.In September, a third provincial judge overturned the clothing restriction after consulting with a parenting expert. The child, said the judge, must now be provided with male and female clothing options and then can choose from these options.
Smith said the consecutive orders – all issued within a nine-month span – have taken a toll on the child, who is now five. “When my child was removed and placed with Dad, they internalised it and took it like they did something wrong. They were being bad because the judge doesn’t like them to be a girl.”
Smith said her complaint – and the remedy she’s demanding – will do little to help her in her ongoing court battle to regain custody of her child. But she hopes it will prevent other families from experiencing what she and her child have been through in the past year. “This has been so hard on my kid,” she said, her voice shaking as she fought back tears.“My kid then started talking about dying. At four, they didn’t feel that the world wanted them to be a girl. That they were no good,” she said. “My kid was asking me, mom, does it hurt to die, how can I die, where would I go when I die? Mom now that you know, when I die, grow me in your belly but grow me as a girl, not with a penis. Because now you know.”
We have so many crap judges, especially on the Prairies. The problem everywhere is they go from their privileged lifestyles in expensive cars directly into enclosed garages, then scuttle through a habitrail before confronting the rest of humanity. Christ, at least send them to Burning Man so they can get some exposure to different lifestyles.
Apologies if this got caught by the early iteration of the thread, but Canada's first transgender judge was sworn in earlier this year.
Oh Pyxi, the bolded part literally made me cry. My eldest son just turned five and if he could talk, if he said those things.... my heart would just break in a billion pieces. I can't begin to imagine what that child has been through. Just heartbreaking.
So tomorrow (the 20th) is trans day of remembrance, in this post Trump-era I'm really worried about any gathered minority groups, even if they're doing so in mourning, but to not do so would be to allow fear to win.
May our fallen siblings know peace and our living ones survive to see things get back on track.
It's TDoR.
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