Are you set up enough to Skype with your wife DS?
Just to get that connection going again and a regular, scheduled meet time to add regularity to a new environment/schedule.
Sorry to hear you had a bad one, DSG. Yesterday was one of my personal worst ever as well.
Stay strong, bro! Seek out people who support you.
Moving always adds stress and causes anxiety in everyone, I wouldn't sweat it and I bet it is better in a few days when the house is together and you settle in.
Not that you need my approval, but from all you've said, I think it's a very good idea to go back and be with your family. It sounds like you know what's best, so I think you should go ahead and give yourself permission to make this change of plans and go where you feel safest.
Don't try to boil the ocean, DS. Each thing you're trying to change is inducing stress. It's okay to do some and put others off until you've made some progress. Triage and pick a few things that are most important to you, maybe, and give yourself some slack on the others. If you need family time, take it. The world is not going to stop because you took some time to feel better.
The fact that you've gone through all these moves and other changes and stresses, with the background anxiety and everything else, and you're still here... That means you're *stronger* than most people. Probably much stronger, and you should stop to be thankful for that every now and then. Don't lose track of the big picture in that regard. Once you get settled somewhere again, the tools you've developed will allow you to just ride easily over what to most people would be crushing stress.
It gets better.
Yeah if you think a few more weeks with family would help, go back. What do you have to lose! The house will wait for you.
Robear wrote:Don't try to boil the ocean, DS. Each thing you're trying to change is inducing stress. It's okay to do some and put others off until you've made some progress. Triage and pick a few things that are most important to you, maybe, and give yourself some slack on the others. If you need family time, take it. The world is not going to stop because you took some time to feel better.
That's where I finally landed. I've pushed so hard for so much of my life to try to outrun my parents' fate and in the process I've neglected opportunities to stop and deal with my mental health in a more substantial way. I've done well enough for someone built like me, but I just need to take a break and try to get well.
I'm glad for you that this is where you've come down. I don't have depression or anxiety and what you've been through the last few years has been stressing me out. If I was going through it I'd be a wreck.
Eat the elephant slowly. And you're doing great.
It seems they weren't really equipped to help with your medical issues.
We still have Cory Bernardi, Pauline Hanson and David Leyonhjelm. The One Nation party gained 3 plus seats, I forget. Sorry to shatter the dream.
I somehow missed the November 9-10th discussion. Good luck, DSG!
Good luck! Get the place all fancified for your wife's welcome home.
I hope you find home to be a comforting, welcoming place!
Things have gone pretty well since getting home. We mostly moved in, I put up Christmas light and we're enjoying being back together. I have no clue what to do with myself right now. We can't afford for me to not be working. But I'm kind of scared to take a job because I don't know how my brain and my nervous system will respond. I restart therapy on Tuesday. Hopefully she can help answer some of those questions. I need a path forward. I feel stuck.
Can you do "something else"?
I came off a pretty epic downward spiral 5-6 years ago. I'd been a graphic designer for over 25 years, and I was becoming the stay-at-home parent, with a view to do that part time/freelance from home.
It all got too difficult, the medication I was on was numbing my brain to the point of disconnection, and we were getting into a bad place financially.
I eventually applied to be a "night filler" at my local supermarket (Woolies), just grunt work, refilling shelves, and it did me a world of good.
Constant physical labor, 5 hours a night, it kept me healthy (I lost 10Kg in the first 2 months), and gave me the freedom to be where my kids needed me during the day.
4 years on, I'm still plugging away at it, and I really don't miss the pressure to be creative "on the clock". I've also found I can funnel that energy into things around the house, ways I engage with the kids, and lots of other stuff (volunteering during the day, stuff like that).
m0nk3yboy that's pretty close to where I'm leaning. I love being able to do things for my kids, and I wish I meant that in merely altruistic terms but it's selfishly so much easier to be enamored with even carting my boys to and from school than going to my work desk. I'm hoping by this time next year I've made some kind of change, either in the workplace or lack thereof.
ETA: Crap, sorry for slight thread-jack. DSGamer, what m0nk3yboy said.
America doesn't pay the same way Australia does. If the wages were better I'd absolutely consider something like that. I'm still considering something like that. I want to try and keep my career, even if just briefly until I figure out a better plan. But that's definitely under consideration either way. I have to survive. Above all else I have to survive.
At 43, I'm on the same pay rate as the 20 year olds Woolies employs. I don't clear $400 a week, but it covers our groceries for the week ($300-350), with some change left over to go towards the bills. My wife covers the bulk of the income (mortgage, utilities, insurance), and thank fully that allows the ends to meet as they need to.
I had to curb my spending, and we have a fairly tight budget, but we are making it work. We've just had to recalibrate a few of our expectations on what we "can" do, and what we "want" to do.
Surviving is good. Keep fighting the good fight my friend
Very sorry to hear about your mom, DSG. Hang in there. That plus taking care of your dad would be tough for anyone. My wife has to manage all of her mom's affairs, and it's super draining for her.
On the interview front, practice, even if it's by yourself.
Good luck!
Glad you're back on track! It's a long, rough ride back, but it's possible! Changed, but possible!
f*ckin ay
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