NFL 2016: Week 3

Fair catching a punt at the 3 1/2 yard line. What, were you afraid they might down it at the 2?

porksmoothie89 wrote:

christ, our other starting DE (Devin Taylor) just landed as a NP on the injury report as well. this is not good.

It is if you have Detroit's offense on your fantasy football team.

Whelp, Dan and I are on the same page with our picks. That's probably a bad thing.

Baltimore Ravens at Jacksonville Jaguars: Gotta pick the Ravens just because. Hopefully Elvis Dumervil gets to play and the Ravens D of 2014 is back! Yes, that was meant as a joke. I can't pick "Garbage Man" Bortles though as I am a man of principle.

Oakland Raiders at Tennessee Titans: I just can't pick the Titans. At some point the Raiders D will show up, eh? (Btw, I can't be the only one who thinks Bruce Irvin kinda sucks, right? All talk and little game. Watch him break out.)

Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: I expect the Rams to go 0-16 1-15 and retain Jeff Fisher. Edit: Omg, I forgot they won last week cause that happened.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Philadelphia Eagles: At some point the wheels are gonna come off Eagles and I'm hoping Antonio Brown is the one to do it. He should be pissed after last week.

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints: Home team, sure. Falcons can't rush the passer still and Brees has a ton of toys, even if their TE spot is vacant.

Abu5217: 4-1
Louisville 63 - FSU 20

Is this real life?

I made some picks this week. I don't think that I can keep up the torrid pace (above .500! woooo!) so we will see...

IMAGE(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtAUOdeUAAAypHE.jpg)

lol

garion333 wrote:

IMAGE(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtAUOdeUAAAypHE.jpg)

lol

I laughed at the response "...that hoodie has sleeves. Not authentic."

Although, to be fair, I think last night was more the Texans sh*tting their pants than any evil mastermind coaching. The offensive game plan for Brissett was high school playbook.

garion333 wrote:

Whelp, Dan and I are on the same page with our picks. That's probably a bad thing.

Hey, now, I had a rough week going 1-4. Sure, I sucked, but I didn't suck nearly as much as that Neurosis song.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Whelp, Dan and I are on the same page with our picks. That's probably a bad thing.

Hey, now, I had a rough week going 1-4. Sure, I sucked, but I didn't suck nearly as much as that Neurosis song.

That's not even a song, it's an album teaser, you dope.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
garion333 wrote:

Whelp, Dan and I are on the same page with our picks. That's probably a bad thing.

Hey, now, I had a rough week going 1-4. Sure, I sucked, but I didn't suck nearly as much as that Neurosis song.

I also made the same picks and went 1-4 the previous week. Let's all fail upwards together!

I'm just going all home teams except for the Steelers.

Because I have no idea how any of these teams(except for the steelers) can win a football game, so home field advantage should mean something.

*Legion* wrote:

"It's Time to Close Down Revis Island"

Also, Austin Seferian-Jenkins arrested for DUI.

Rules for the Buccaneers:
1) No DEs from Clemson.
2) No TEs from Washington.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

2) No TEs from Washington.

F**k you for making me think of Jerramy Stevens on a Friday.

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

2) No TEs from Washington.

F**k you for making me think of Jerramy Stevens on a Friday.

During that piece of garbage's tenure in Tampa, I literally rooted for him to get a horrible, career-ending knee injury every single time he touched the ball.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

2) No TEs from Washington.

F**k you for making me think of Jerramy Stevens on a Friday.

During that piece of garbage's tenure in Tampa, I literally rooted for him to get a horrible, career-ending knee injury every single time he touched the ball.

Stevens is the worst thing to grace the Bucs locker room this past decade, and that locker room had both Greg Schiano and MRSA.

Stevens is the worst thing to grace the Bucs locker room this past decade, and that locker room had both Greg Schiano and MRSA.

Ugh, you're triggering me with that name! Now I have to remember that awful super bowl where he kept dropping the ball and the refs called a penalty on our QB for tripping!

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

2) No TEs from Washington.

F**k you for making me think of Jerramy Stevens on a Friday.

During that piece of garbage's tenure in Tampa, I literally rooted for him to get a horrible, career-ending knee injury every single time he touched the ball.

Stevens is the worst thing to grace the Bucs locker room this past decade, and that locker room had both Greg Schiano and MRSA.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/wOfmYO0pFGpDa/giphy.gif)

I have never had a celebrity crush vanish as quickly as my Hope Solo crush did when I found out she and the sh*tbucket were involved.

I mean, lots of reasons since then to flee screaming from Hope Solo, but Jerramy Stevens was basically instant. Blech.

*Legion* wrote:

...
* Not only did all of our teams suck, but the week was an absolute bloodbath of injuries. Adrian Peterson, Danny Woodhead, Doug Martin, Arian Foster, Jonathan Stewart, Ameer Abdullah, Jimmy Garoppolo, Jay Cutler, Donte Moncrief, DeMarcus Ware, Josh McCown, Kelvin Beachum, Cameron Erving, and a score of other players who left games early with hamstrings or other less severe injuries.

That calls for this ...

IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)

... my new favorite gif.

Also: The Panthers are apparently still going to play Sunday in Charlotte. There has been talk of moving the game because of reasons.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I have never had a celebrity crush vanish as quickly as my Hope Solo crush did when I found out she and the sh*tbucket were involved.

I mean, lots of reasons since then to flee screaming from Hope Solo, but Jerramy Stevens was basically instant. Blech.

I remember reacting the exact same way.

When it happened: "WTF is she doing with that complete assbag?"
A few months later: "Oh."

Hell, let's just burn this thread down now:

IMAGE(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/11/28/article-2239750-1603A089000005DC-77_634x439.jpg)

Enix wrote:

IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)

... my new favorite gif.

The fact that you can just string them together and they flow seamlessly is pure magic.

Enix wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

...
* Not only did all of our teams suck, but the week was an absolute bloodbath of injuries. Adrian Peterson, Danny Woodhead, Doug Martin, Arian Foster, Jonathan Stewart, Ameer Abdullah, Jimmy Garoppolo, Jay Cutler, Donte Moncrief, DeMarcus Ware, Josh McCown, Kelvin Beachum, Cameron Erving, and a score of other players who left games early with hamstrings or other less severe injuries.

That calls for this ...

IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)

... my new favorite gif.

Also: The Panthers are apparently still going to play Sunday in Charlotte. There has been talk of moving the game because of reasons.

And the Bears and Cowboys are the NBC game of the week. There should be talk of moving this game because both teams are terrible and the game won't be watchable.

Welp, Tampa cut ASJ loose.

And since we were talking about Browns misery, here's a fun one: Browns kicker injures knee in walkthrough practice, questionable for Sunday.

How do you injure yourself at a walkthrough practice?

*Legion* wrote:

Welp, Tampa cut ASJ loose.

Now he can hang out with Jerramy and do some more stupid sh*t.

ASJ had played in 18 out of a 34 possible games due to injuries; he's a head case who appears to be largely made of tinfoil. He's one of those his who for three years was supposed to make the leap.

He's an athletic freak, so he'll have a job five minutes from now. Probably in New Orleans.

Speaking of bloodbaths... Patriots QB Jacoby Brissett tore a ligament in his thumb in Thursday's game, which may or may not require surgery.

As it stands now, if the Patriots had to play a football game on Sunday, Julian Edelman would probably be their starting QB.

At some point, they're going to have to sign a QB, aren't they?

I guess this can give the Browns hope that it's possible, through what I can only describe as divine intervention, to get at least 3 wins in a season where 4 different quarterbacks start.

Sporting News writer calls out all the people who were vocal against Kaepernick's protest who are now completely silent in the wake of, surprise, another unarmed black person being fatally shot by police.

Oh, but one of the people named in that article has now spoken. Jerry Rice suddenly supports Kaepernick.

Though now we have Mike Ditka who thinks Kaepernick should shut up and leave the country, and who, lacking all self-awareness, said, "I don't see all the atrocities going on in this country that people say are going on".

76 year old white guy doesn't see racism. I'm shocked!

*Legion* wrote:

Speaking of bloodbaths... Patriots QB Jacoby Brissett tore a ligament in his thumb in Thursday's game, which may or may not require surgery.

As it stands now, if the Patriots had to play a football game on Sunday, Julian Edelman would probably be their starting QB.

At some point, they're going to have to sign a QB, aren't they?

One more week. One more week. One more week. One more week.

Says the Pats fan.