NFL 2016: Week 2

Chicago is a bad team, but they're not a non-functioning team like the Browns. That was a good game from Wentz.

Obviously they're not asking him to attack downfield very much or make any seriously challenging throws, but it's the kind of offense you use to work a rookie QB into the league.

At some point in his career, you want him to be the kind of QB that can attack the whole field, but that doesn't have to happen in week 2 of year 1, especially for a kid transitioning from a lower college division.

Well the two downfield throws he did make were dropped by his sh*tty WR's. The Mathews one was particularly egregious as it was a perfectly thrown ball. The Aghlor one hung up a bit but still was very catchable.

Corey Coleman broke his hand in practice. Can we just rename it the "KOTOR Star Forge of Sadness", as it apparently has a limitless capacity for production?

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Corey Coleman broke his hand in practice. Can we just rename it the "KOTOR Star Forge of Sadness", as it apparently has a limitless capacity for production?

You didn't even capture all of the Browns WR misery from today alone.

Arrest warrant issued for Josh Gordon in paternity case.

The "good" news for Browns fans is that apparently the NFL doesn't care about deadbeat dads, and Gordon's failure to submit to a paternity test for an entire year won't affect his NFL status.

Mortar kickoffs have increased kickoff returns.

Through two games this season, 37.3 percent of kickoffs have been returned. That's an increase from the 30.1 percent of kickoffs returned through the first two games in 2015.

Obviously, two weeks is an incredibly small sample, but if the trend continues the NFL votes in a policy that attempted to curb returns but is in fact increasing them. Way to think that one through!

Eagles top DVOA after two weeks. They're also the weakest top team ever according to DVOA (which only goes back to ... 1989?). As with week 1's ratings, it's important to note that opponent adjustments aren't in there yet (ie. the Browns effect).

Oakland is interesting as the top offense and bottom defense, which makes sense based on the results of their first two games, but is unlikely to stay that way throughout the season. I mean, the Jets have the 5th highest offense, which is just nuts. An injury to Forte or some more untimely Fitzpatrick interceptions and that rating will drop like a rock.

Still, it'll be interesting to see where people land. The Ravens are in 5th right now, but considering they beat the 26th and 32nd teams to open the season it's likely all a mirage.

*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Corey Coleman broke his hand in practice. Can we just rename it the "KOTOR Star Forge of Sadness", as it apparently has a limitless capacity for production?

You didn't even capture all of the Browns WR misery from today alone.

Arrest warrant issued for Josh Gordon in paternity case.

The "good" news for Browns fans is that apparently the NFL doesn't care about deadbeat dads, and Gordon's failure to submit to a paternity test for an entire year won't affect his NFL status.

Josh Gordon getting arrested is "misery"? I'd assumed that was just "Thursday" to Browns fans.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Corey Coleman broke his hand in practice. Can we just rename it the "KOTOR Star Forge of Sadness", as it apparently has a limitless capacity for production?

You didn't even capture all of the Browns WR misery from today alone.

Arrest warrant issued for Josh Gordon in paternity case.

The "good" news for Browns fans is that apparently the NFL doesn't care about deadbeat dads, and Gordon's failure to submit to a paternity test for an entire year won't affect his NFL status.

Josh Gordon getting arrested is "misery"? I'd assumed that was just "Thursday" to Browns fans.

So, are there any transformative players in the draft next year? I think this is about all I have to look forward to now.

IMAGE(https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--sGzwH0x4--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/pdicldzcqpvcgyxagwei.jpg)

Also, I don't know which will happen first, I will run out of these images or the Browns will run out of sad news. There are a ton of both.

Isn't there a game in 8 hours? New thread?

Stele wrote:

Isn't there a game in 8 hours? New thread?

usually shows up in the next couple hours

porksmoothie89 wrote:
Stele wrote:

Isn't there a game in 8 hours? New thread?

usually shows up in the next couple hours

NOT UNTIL WE COMPLAIN!

UpToIsomorphism wrote:

So, are there any transformative players in the draft next year?

All I know about next years draft is that whichever team drafts Jake Butt is going to see a massive increase in jersey sales.

iaintgotnopants wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

So, are there any transformative players in the draft next year?

All I know about next years draft is that whichever team drafts Jake Butt is going to see a massive increase in jersey sales.

Please tell me he is an offensive lineman and can therefore get number 69.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
iaintgotnopants wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

So, are there any transformative players in the draft next year?

All I know about next years draft is that whichever team drafts Jake Butt is going to see a massive increase in jersey sales.

Please tell me he is an offensive lineman and can therefore get number 69.

Honestly not making this up, he's a tight end.

Cue porn music.

iaintgotnopants wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:
iaintgotnopants wrote:
UpToIsomorphism wrote:

So, are there any transformative players in the draft next year?

All I know about next years draft is that whichever team drafts Jake Butt is going to see a massive increase in jersey sales.

Please tell me he is an offensive lineman and can therefore get number 69.

Honestly not making this up, he's a tight end.

I have never loved the universe as much as I love the universe right now.

garion333 wrote:
porksmoothie89 wrote:
Stele wrote:

Isn't there a game in 8 hours? New thread?

usually shows up in the next couple hours

NOT UNTIL WE COMPLAIN!

Every week, the thread goes up at pretty much the same time: Thursday, early afternoon PST.

And yet every week, you all are

IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)IMAGE(http://i.giphy.com/NH3mWjNZ2FXtm.gif)

"WHERE'S THE THREAD? I DON'T UNDERSTAND! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? THERE'S A GAME IN X HOURS!"

Every week.

*Legion* wrote:

"WHERE'S THE THREAD? I DON'T UNDERSTAND! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? THERE'S A GAME IN X HOURS!"

Take your time man, I'll just be over here talkin' 'bout Butt.

The best part is that Butt is a legitimate late 1st or 2nd round candidate. Most boards I've seen have him as the 2nd best TE in the draft class. So he's likely to get drafted at a time when people are actually watching.