On this thing called "rape culture"

Bfgp wrote:
pyxistyx wrote:

Stanford Rapist gets a lifetime ban from USA Swimming.

Not the lengthy jail sentence he deserves, but it's a start...

I read somewhere Turner is appealing his convictions. Hope his sentence gets affirmed and increased on appeal.

OMFG

Brock Turner's mother also wrote a note to Judge Persky...

Turner’s mother, Carleen Turner, wrote a letter nearly four pages long and doesn’t mention the victim of the sexual assault once. Instead, she talks about her son’s childhood, how he asked a high school girlfriend to prom and his swimming and academic career for two pages. She then talks about how devastated she and her family has been since the weekend in January when Turner sexually assaulted a 23-year-old woman.

“My first thought upon wakening every morning is ‘this isn’t real, this can’t be real. Why him? Why HIM? WHY? WHY?’ ” Carleen Turner wrote. “I have cried every single day since Jan. 18.”

She said she hasn’t been able to decorate a new home because she can’t bear to put up happy photos of her family. She said Turner was just “trying to fit in with the swimmers he idolized.”

She continues later that Turner will have to register as a sexual offender, and is concerned that he will have to register at the highest tier.

“Brock will have to register at the highest tier which means he is on the same level as a pedophile/child molester. There is no differentiation,” she writes. “The public records will reflect a Tier 3 so people will wrongly assume he is a child molester. I fear for his lifelong safety.”

She said she hasn’t been able to decorate a new home because she can’t bear to put up happy photos of her family. She said Turner was just “trying to fit in with the swimmers he idolized.”

WTF

Ah... this is great. I guess I might be late to the party on this.

OG_slinger wrote:

Brock Turner's mother also wrote a note to Judge Persky...

Turner’s mother, Carleen Turner, wrote a letter nearly four pages long and doesn’t mention the victim of the sexual assault once. Instead, she talks about her son’s childhood, how he asked a high school girlfriend to prom and his swimming and academic career for two pages. She then talks about how devastated she and her family has been since the weekend in January when Turner sexually assaulted a 23-year-old woman.

“My first thought upon wakening every morning is ‘this isn’t real, this can’t be real. Why him? Why HIM? WHY? WHY?’ ” Carleen Turner wrote. “I have cried every single day since Jan. 18.”

She said she hasn’t been able to decorate a new home because she can’t bear to put up happy photos of her family. She said Turner was just “trying to fit in with the swimmers he idolized.”

She continues later that Turner will have to register as a sexual offender, and is concerned that he will have to register at the highest tier.

“Brock will have to register at the highest tier which means he is on the same level as a pedophile/child molester. There is no differentiation,” she writes. “The public records will reflect a Tier 3 so people will wrongly assume he is a child molester. I fear for his lifelong safety.”

I did not know about the Tiers, but a helpful government site says,
"What is Tier 3 and Offenses Related?

5.3.3 TIER 3 OFFENSES. A. Recidivism and Felonies. Any sex offense that is punishable by more than one year in jail where the offender has at least one prior conviction for a Tier 2 sex offense, or has previously become a Tier 2 sex offender, is a “Tier 3” offense. B. General Offenses. A “Tier 3” offense includes any sex offense for which a person has been convicted, or an attempt or conspiracy to commit such an offense, that involves: 1. Non-parental kidnapping of a minor, 2. A sexual act with another by force or threat, 3. A sexual act with another who has been rendered unconscious or involuntarily drugged, or who is otherwise incapable of appraising the nature of the conduct or declining to participate, or 4. Sexual contact with a minor 12 years of age or younger, including offenses that cover sexual touching of or contact with the intimate parts of the body, either directly or through the clothing."

So when his parents get out of the denial stage of their grief, they might notice he IS a Tier 3 sex offender.

I was having a talk with my mother about toxic masculinity and its possible role in the Orlando shootings. We also touched on the Connecticut mother who was harassed by a man who didn't take well to her breastfeeding her kid in a Target. I explained to her that while most parents teach their daughters how to present themselves to men in order to avoid mistreatment, parents also need to teach their sons not to mistreat women.

She then related this story to me:

When my brother was in high school, he was a quiet type. Part of that was that my father was a freaking unapproachable tyrant. Either way, my father was concerned that my brother wasn't showing an interest in girls, that no girls were calling the house asking for him (late 80's here). He actually had the gall to suggest to my mother that he take my teenaged brother to a prostitute. (note: I don't particularly like the word "prostitute," as it comes with a crapload of baggage, but it's the word my mother used.)

Her response, "are you out of your f*cking mind? Over my dead body!"

She contrasted this with a family friend, who she overheard telling his sons, "women are not to be used."

Please, parents, especially parents of boys: we need to be more like my family friend and less like my father.

Instead of stressing to girls that they need to cover up to avoid unwanted male attention, stress to boys to control their impulses and to refrain from giving unwanted attention. How hard could it have been for that man in Target to just look away? For the Stanford rapist to accept rejection, and wait to find a consenting partner? To not try to pressure a teenage boy into sexual activity he may or may not want to engage in? To tell all of our children that women are people deserving of respect, and not a means to an end?

My son experienced significant trauma at the hands of his biological family. As a result we have to proceed carefully with him to ensure we shape his world views and not his birth family.

Now that he is 14, I've been having weekly talks with him about sex, relationships, and rape cultural in general. I highlighted the recent Stanford case and brought my wife in to talk to him about what it is like being a woman in our society. My goal is to bring up the most well educated, respectful young man that I can. The two main things that I stress, every time, is to always use a condom and to make sure that there is enthusiastic consent from both parties before doing anything.

“But he does good work.”
(Violet Blue, Medium, 2016-06-15)

Article wrote:

Right now, my inbox holds media requests from Buzzfeed, Daily Dot, Guardian, Associated Press, and newly, La Repubblica, Italy’s largest newspaper. They are working on stories about Jacob Appelbaum. Specifically, his history in tech and hacking as it relates to his harassment and abuse of others, and the astonishingly widening pool of victims and witnesses coming forward in the past ten days.

Most of the outlets are having a hard time wrapping their heads around how this could go on so long within arenas whose missions are to fight against injustice and power imbalances, and to champion whistleblowers. One might think these organizations were hypocrites, or worse. Some of the articles lean toward framing hacking and tech, our communities, businesses, and conferences, as places where sexual abuse and harassment is rampant and abusers are institutionally protected.

To understand why they’re not entirely wrong, why this was allowed to continue for so long, and how we make sure this ends here, we need to examine some difficult things.

...

Article wrote:

Appelbaum remained with the organization. Buzzfeed reported that in deliberation on what to do with Appelbaum, “It was a close call as to whether his benefits outweighed his liabilities.”

Let me explain something.

When harassment, sexual or otherwise, requires a cost-benefit analysis, you have failed.

You have failed your co-workers, your employees, your friends, the people you claim to serve with your work, and you have failed the future.

You’re Not “Awkward” With Women. You’re Just Creepy

And before you #notallmen me, save yourself the time. Perhaps spend it not condoning this behavior from your friends. Refraining from being a rapey creep is the absolute minimum a human being should be doing.

sometimesdee wrote:

You’re Not “Awkward” With Women. You’re Just Creepy

And before you #notallmen me, save yourself the time. Perhaps spend it not condoning this behavior from your friends. Refraining from being a rapey creep is the absolute minimum a human being should be doing.

The Venn diagram of men I've heard use that phrase, and men who I would be fearful of if I were a woman, definitely approaches a circle.

sometimesdee wrote:

And before you #notallmen me, save yourself the time. Perhaps spend it not condoning this behavior from your friends. Refraining from being a rapey creep is the absolute minimum a human being should be doing.

The stories in these sorts of articles always make my skin crawl. How can people think those things are appropriate forms of behavior?

Valmorian wrote:

How can people think those things are appropriate forms of behavior?

IMAGE(http://fakeplus.com/pictures/jpg/-well-theres-your-problem_20120403032255.jpg)

Jonman wrote:
Valmorian wrote:

How can people think those things are appropriate forms of behavior?

IMAGE(http://fakeplus.com/pictures/jpg/-well-theres-your-problem_20120403032255.jpg)

IMAGE(http://media.tumblr.com/92e48fc443351a77695b006d255f381a/tumblr_inline_mon7p93Yyq1qz4rgp.gif)

sometimesdee wrote:

You’re Not “Awkward” With Women. You’re Just Creepy

And before you #notallmen me, save yourself the time. Perhaps spend it not condoning this behavior from your friends. Refraining from being a rapey creep is the absolute minimum a human being should be doing.

Yup. I really think the whole John Hughes movie thing raise a generation of racists and rapists.

Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

You know, for people who consider dating and meeting people a game to be won, these supposed "players" sure do whine a lot about difficulty rather than becoming better.

Bloo Driver wrote:

You know, for people who consider dating and meeting people a game to be won, these supposed "players" sure do whine a lot about difficulty rather than becoming better.

While, ironically, being sh*tty gatekeepers in gaming against people who don't have the time or effort to devote to games like theydo?

sometimesdee wrote:

Came here to post about that
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/articl...

I like how the BBC mentioned Savoy's racism too, putting the sputum icing on that turd cake of a man and the magazine that features him.

Harris County prosecutors decided the best way to make sure she'd return to complete her testimony was to lock her up in the Harris County Jail.

Ummmm... what? So, she was charged with nothing and convicted of nothing and then she was sent to jail until she could finish her testimony. What the absolute f*ck? Like, I first heard of this and thought some callous judge ordered her to jail for like contempt of court for having a breakdown/leaving... and while that would have been awful, this is some next-level awful.

And she was in the general population, staff thought she was a perpetrator...no wonder she punched a male guard!

If anything, she should have gone to a mental health facility, not jail! f*ck Texas.

I don't even know how to comment about this...I'm really just horrified. It's beyond belief...and yet it isn't.

Next time you think you maybe aren't using your time properly, think of the idiots on the AV Club who'd rather fight to the grim death over Pepe LePew not being kinda gross, instead of saying "Yeah, cultural standards have changed, and it's dumb to have Max Landis write a script about him," and doing literally anything else.

SpacePPoliceman wrote:

Next time you think you maybe aren't using your time properly, think of the idiots on the AV Club who'd rather fight to the grim death over Pepe LePew not being kinda gross, instead of saying "Yeah, cultural standards have changed, and it's dumb to have Max Landis write a script about him," and doing literally anything else.

To be fair to the AV Club commentariat, the majority seems pretty uncomfortable with the subject. But there are of course some intelligent types who are happy to go down fighting over a rapey skunk.

Four women report being raped by the same Utah State University student within an 18-month window and absolutely nothing is done by the local police or the university's Title IX office. The man graduated without a hitch while two of his victims who were students dropped out and moved away out of fear and a third non-student victim still has nightmares about the attack.

SpacePPoliceman wrote:

Pepe LePew
Max Landis

WHAT COULD GO WRONG

MrDeVil909 wrote:
SpacePPoliceman wrote:

Next time you think you maybe aren't using your time properly, think of the idiots on the AV Club who'd rather fight to the grim death over Pepe LePew not being kinda gross, instead of saying "Yeah, cultural standards have changed, and it's dumb to have Max Landis write a script about him," and doing literally anything else.

To be fair to the AV Club commentariat, the majority seems pretty uncomfortable with the subject. But there are of course some intelligent types who are happy to go down fighting over a rapey skunk.

Yes, it should be said that by and large, AV Club is a great place. It does get invaded from time to time, however.

Bloo Driver wrote:
SpacePPoliceman wrote:

Pepe LePew
Max Landis

WHAT COULD GO WRONG

Exactly.

OG_slinger wrote:

Four women report being raped by the same Utah State University student within an 18-month window and absolutely nothing is done by the local police or the university's Title IX office. The man graduated without a hitch while two of his victims who were students dropped out and moved away out of fear and a third non-student victim still has nightmares about the attack.

Sadly this crap happens all over the place.

My eye-opening moment was learning about multiple victims at my own college (a friend worked in the residential affairs office) and that every single time, campus administration put all their efforts into sweeping it under the rug with a mere wristslap -- if anything -- given to the perp.

It was completely unsurprising to me a couple years after I graduated when this blew up into a minor scandal with the local news. I was surprised (this was naïve 22-yr-old Farscry here) when even after that, nothing meaningful changed at the college and the media circus blew over within a mere handful of weeks.