NFL 2015: Week 14

garion333 in last week's thread wrote:

Seriously, what was Antonio Brown thinking? Is he completely unaware of the fact that the goal posts are not in fact made out of that padding all the way through? This is like Gus Frerotte's infamous headbutt. Speaking of injuries, Will Smith just received a Golden Globe nomination for yelling "Tell the truth!" repeatedly on TV his role in the film Concussion. Methinks Roger Goodell has suddenly become a huge fan of Eddie Redmayne.

Green Bay 27 - Detroit 23: IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/kwP2VlZ.jpg)

Weeeell, it's kind of a draw looking from the outside in.

Jets 23 - Giants 20: So Cullen Jenkins made a few remarks about Brandon Marshall's relationship status with his wife and he called him out on it. Jenkins is, according to Marshall, in the neighborhood of five hundred pounds so someone's getting out of holiday related chores.

Arizona 27 - St. Louis 3: Quick, think of the team with the second best record in the AFC that time New England went perfect during the regular season. Nope, I can't think of them off the top of my head.

Atlanta 19 - Tampa Bay 23: Yeah, I think the Falcons are who their long suffering fans thought they were. Would making a crack about Atlantans getting burned again be too out of line?

Seattle 38 - Minnesota 7: Before the talk of the Seahawks being back starts keeps going, they still have offensive line issues, no Graham, and no Beast More, not even At Least Mode. Raawls and Baldwin helping out Russell Wilson won't be enough against the likes of Carolina and Arizona, but good thing for them there's the NFC East winner if they get in.

Houston 21 - Buffalo 30: Now, on the other hand, maybe just maybe something good's cooking with the Bills. Now let's all watch the ESPN 30 for 30 about the Super Bowl teams Saturday night and revel in the tears of unfathomable sadness.

Baltimore 13 - Miami 15: At this rate, John Harbaugh may not have even met his starting quarterback for Week 17. Has he even been born yet?

Cincinnati 37 - Cleveland 3: The Bengals are now the #1 seed in the AFC, which means they at least won't get bounced during the wild card round. Progress!

Jacksonville 39 - Tennessee 42: Am I the only one who's on the fence about moving the divisional match-ups to the back end of the season? Yes, it adds drama to who finishes where, but then there's also the "Didn't we just see this game already?"

San Francisco 26 - Chicago 20: Blaine Gabbert was told by Coach Tomsula to enjoy the moment. What else was he supposed to be told? Be miserable the whole time? You know, like Bears fans?

Denver 14 - San Diego 3: Also, there's the "Didn't these teams suck the last time we saw them a few weeks ago?" that we might be asking in Week 17.

Kansas City 34 - Oakland 20: Can the Chiefs catch the Broncos and take the division before the regular season's over? The schedule going forward leans in Kansas City's favor and they should be favored in each game they play from now until Week 17, when they face the Raiders again at Arrowhead.

Carolina 41 - New Orleans 38: There's another unbeaten streak that's getting more headlines in the sports world, but the Panthers keep chugging along. Just don't ask Ron Rivera about the concussion protocol for Cam Newton again or else you're going to get scolded like you're in elementary school again.

Philadelphia 35 - New England 28: Looks like all those injuries have finally caught up to the Patriots, and yet Tom Brady feels "fresh as lettuce." I'm already seeing him in an SNL sketch as the manager of a supermarket's produce department.

Indianapolis 10 - Pittsburgh 45: No, seriously, what was he thinking?

Dallas 19 - Washington 16: DeSean Jackson again. I mean, Leon Lett only did it once and he's never lived it down. DeSean has a reel of plays like this dating all the way back to high school. You'd think by now it'd get through to him that maybe, just maybe, he should up his ball safety game, because someone must have yelled at him about it over the years.

Week 13 Results

Zaque: 5-0
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 4-1
oldmanscene24: 4-1
Infyrnos: 4-1
karmajay: 4-1
TheGameGuru: 4-1
LeapingGnome: 4-1
Bubs14: 4-1
EvilDead: 4-1
Oddsmakers: 4-1
thejustinbot: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
iaintgotnopants: 3-2
Jayhawker: 3-2
tboon: 3-2
garion333: 3-2
MilkmanDanimal: 3-2
jonfentyler: 3-2
Jowner: 3-2
Minase: 3-2
Stele: 3-2
Elliottx: 3-2
onewild: 2-3
Abu5217: 2-3
GioClark: 2-3
Bighoppa: 2-3
UpToIsomorphism: 2-3
Peedmyself: 2-3
Torq: 2-3
Rat Boy: 2-3
Vector: 2-3
Certis: 2-3
Cobble: 0-0
cube: 0-0
Atras: 0-0
Tempest Blayze: 0-0
Gumbie: 0-0
Top_Shelf: 0-0
PorkSmoothie89: 0-0
Flintheart Glomgold: 0-0
Kush15: 0-0
Paleocon: 0-0
troubleshot: 0-0
kaostheory: 0-0
Nomad: 0-0
Psych: 0-0
AnimeJ: 0-0
Grumpicus: 0-0
Neozilla: 0-0
whispa: 0-0
BEPNewt: 0-0
sr_malo: 0-0

Zaque is this week's resident of Perfection Island. And here's the season's total thus far:

garion333: 41-24
oldmanscene24: 41-24
Stele: 40-25
Infyrnos: 40-25
PorkSmoothie89: 39-21
LeapingGnome: 39-21
karmajay: 39-26
Oddsmakers: 38-27
MilkmanDanimal: 37-28
thejustinbot: 37-28
jonfentyler: 37-28
Vector: 37-28
Rat Boy: 35-30
*Legion*: 35-30

tboon: 35-30
Mr E.B. Slugworth: 35-25
Elliottx: 34-31
TheGameGuru: 34-31
Peedmyself: 34-31
Certis: 34-31
Zaque: 33-27
iaintgotnopants: 33-32
EvilDead: 32-33
UpToIsomorphism: 32-33
Jowner: 31-19
GioClark: 31-29
Bighoppa: 31-34
Torq: 30-25
Bubs14: 29-36
Jayhawker: 29-31
onewild: 28-32
Top_Shelf: 28-27
Abu5217: 27-33
sr_malo: 23-22
Atras: 18-12
cube: 18-17
Gumbie: 17-23
Cobble: 17-18
Minase: 17-18
BEPNewt: 10-15
Tempest Blayze: 10-5
Psych: 8-7
kaostheory: 8-7
Flintheart Glomgold: 6-4
Nomad: 6-9
AnimeJ: 6-9
Kush15: 5-5
Neozilla: 4-1
Paleocon: 4-6
whispa: 3-2
Grumpicus: 3-7
troubleshot: 0-0

Make your picks here.

Buffalo vs. Philadelpha: Both teams have shown flashes and if the Bills were playing in say the NFC East they'd have a shot at the post season. The Eagles do, but they also have their issues. Even after beating New England, DeMarco Murray went over Chip Kelly's head to demand that he be handed the damn ball more. Shady McCoy's still got a chip (Kelly) on his shoulder about how he left Philadelphia (Herm Edwards weighs in here. And by weighs in I mean drops a nuke bigger than "You play to win the game.") Anyway, I'm leaning Buffalo here and might DVR the following NFL Live.

New Orleans vs. Tampa Bay: These two teams played waaaaay back in Week 2 and it was close. The Saints' defense is terrible. I mean, okay, so they lost to a perfect team this past week, but they had the upper hand on Carolina. The Buccaneers are their .500 record, but there's room to grow and what better chance to grow than at the expense of a division rival that used to be the perennial resident king? Tampa Bay.

Washington vs. Chicago: Wait, where are you going? Come back to the thread. Yes, I know it's Washington and Chicago, but it's also Washington and Chicago. Maybe Cousins will do something that we'll be asked if we like or not. Maybe Cutler's heaves will end up in the hands of his receivers. Maybe DeSean will stop showboating. Chicago.

Oakland vs. Denver: It's a rivalry. It's got that guy who could be Manning's successor in the future. What more do you want me to say...because I can't think of anything else. Might as well enjoy the Oakland/Denver beef before it becomes the Los Angeles/Denver beef yet again. Denver.

New York Giants vs. Miami: Which versions of these teams are showing up this time? The "That's what they're supposed to be" teams or the "Yeah, that's probably who they are?" Also, fun thought that just popped into my head: what if New York lets go of Tom Coughlin and returns to Florida to coach the Dolphins? I'm going to bookmark this page in the event I'm right. Giants.

Enjoy the week, folks. And get some sleep, *Legion*.

Hey, I made my picks in the thread! Not very well, but credit where due.

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears: Chicago Bears
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Oakland Raiders
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: Miami Dolphins

I am incredibly sick and am not even sure if I picked the right teams. If anyone has made the same picks as me, double check just to be sure you haven't lost your touch with reality as well.

Certis wrote:

Hey, I made my picks in the thread! Not very well, but credit where due.

Since we don't know how long it'll take *Legion* to de-zombify, fixed.

Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal of all places, the definitive NFL coaching tree.

You'll want to eat lunch at your desk today.

Enix wrote:

Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal of all places, the definitive NFL coaching tree.

You'll want to eat lunch at your desk today.

Wow, that is actually really awesome.

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Professional Football Team at Chicago Bears: Chicago Bears
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Denver Broncos
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: New York Giants

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears: Washington Redskins
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Denver Broncos
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: New York Giants

Hey back on the right side of 3-2!

And still just a game off the overall lead. Whew.

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears: Chicago Bears
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Denver Broncos
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: New York Giants

Certis wrote:

Hey, I made my picks in the thread! Not very well, but credit where due.

IMAGE(https://cdn.discourse.org/boingboing/uploads/default/original/3X/a/8/a88910b5a8876ca31695d4d5f3de5b35d45bf7ff.gif)

Put your god damn picks in the god damn picks site you god damn noob.

*Legion* wrote:
Certis wrote:

Hey, I made my picks in the thread! Not very well, but credit where due.

IMAGE(https://cdn.discourse.org/boingboing/uploads/default/original/3X/a/8/a88910b5a8876ca31695d4d5f3de5b35d45bf7ff.gif)

Put your god damn picks in the god damn picks site you god damn noob.

Raawls and Baldwin helping out Russell Wilson won't be enough against the likes of Carolina and Arizona, but good thing for them there's the NFC East winner if they get in.

Seattle games down the stretch: Ravens, Browns, Rams and Cards.

They could still technically win the division if the Cards imploded and considering Carson Palmers backup is that Drew Stanton guy then anything is possible.

Just applied the jinx to both teams!

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears: Chicago Bears
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Denver Broncos
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: New York Giants

Random fact from a random tweet:

@heisenbeers wrote:

Jameis Winston: 4.97 40-yard, 28.5" vertical, 103" broad jump, 231lbs

Dontari Poe: 4.98 40-yard, 29" vertical, 105" broad jump, 346lbs

Dontari Poe is a freak though.

Watching him honestly reminds me a little bit of Bo Jackson, as odd as that sounds. Bo moved 240 pounds around like I've never seen before or since. Poe moves almost 350 pounds around like I've never seen. To different effect, but similarly incredulous.

*Legion* wrote:
Certis wrote:

Hey, I made my picks in the thread! Not very well, but credit where due.

IMAGE(https://cdn.discourse.org/boingboing/uploads/default/original/3X/a/8/a88910b5a8876ca31695d4d5f3de5b35d45bf7ff.gif)

Put your god damn picks in the god damn picks site you god damn noob.

IT WASN'T UP ON THE PICKS SITE YET, VACATION MAN.

Certis wrote:

IT WASN'T UP ON THE PICKS SITE YET, VACATION MAN.

Vacation? That was a work trip! Thanksgiving was the one and only day off I've had in 4 weeks.

*Legion* wrote:

Dontari Poe is a freak though.

Watching him honestly reminds me a little bit of Bo Jackson, as odd as that sounds. Bo moved 240 pounds around like I've never seen before or since. Poe moves almost 350 pounds around like I've never seen. To different effect, but similarly incredulous.

Yeah, I was lukewarm on the Chiefs drafting him because he seemed like a classic case of a workout warrior. I wanted them to take G David DeCastro with that pick. Turns out, he was pretty special.

No one would be complaining about drafting DeCastro, though.

*Legion* wrote:
Certis wrote:

IT WASN'T UP ON THE PICKS SITE YET, VACATION MAN.

Vacation? That was a work trip! Thanksgiving was the one and only day off I've had in 4 weeks.

Flying on planes for work counts as off work time.

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears: Chicago Bears
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Denver Broncos
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: New York Giants

With Houston's loss last week and a probable loss this week, I expect our playoff hopes are dead. Maybe we'll get a real QB next year.

*Legion* wrote:
Certis wrote:

IT WASN'T UP ON THE PICKS SITE YET, VACATION MAN.

Vacation? That was a work trip! Thanksgiving was the one and only day off I've had in 4 weeks.

Where you in the country when Gabbert pulled his Cam Newton routine? I'm wondering if there's cause and effect here.

How come the NFL game was on CBS last week but is now back on NFL crap this week?

It's a Bob Schiefer sighting.

I dont mind the Vikes being decent.

Mostly because the Bears and Lions are crap

Vikes have outplayed the Cards tonight but are playing catchup on 2 turnovers and blowing two large TD throws.

Well, don't think AP will be breaking his yardage record this season..

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles: Buffalo Bills
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins at Chicago Bears: Washington Redskins
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos: Denver Donkeys - The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, but that's how you bet.
New York Giants at Miami Dolphins: New York Giants

I'm pretty sure these words have never been written in this order, at least not since Mark Brunell and Fast Freddy wore the ol' black and teal:

"the Jaguars ... have an offense that is becoming very dangerous and difficult to contain"

Enix wrote:

I'm pretty sure these words have never been written in this order, at least not since Mark Brunell and Fast Freddy wore the ol' black and teal:

"the Jaguars ... have an offense that is becoming very dangerous and difficult to contain"

Bortles would be setting the world on fire if he played for Arizona where they have a legit defense.

FO still has the Jags at the very middle of the pack, offensively.

Enix wrote:

I'm pretty sure these words have never been written in this order, at least not since Mark Brunell and Fast Freddy wore the ol' black and teal:

"the Jaguars ... have an offense that is becoming very dangerous and difficult to contain"

Pretty much. Bortles has already broken the team's single season passing TD record, and still has 4 games left to play. Allen Robinson is the team's first 1000 yard receiver in a decade... and still has 4 games left to play.

Gus Bradley may be saving his job, even though the wins are still slow coming. It'll be a defense-heavy draft next April, most likely (plus hopefully getting this year's 1st rounder back, Dante Fowler).

garion333 wrote:

Bortles would be setting the world on fire if he played for Arizona where they have a legit defense.

Plus he's the most Bruce Arians quarterback of the past few years. Greg Olson has done a great job with him, but Arians sure as hell would too.