Tell us your best dad jokes!

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Clinton is starting her campaign with a round of dad jokes!

Did we stumble upon something brilliant here?

Latest Dad joke in comic form:

IMAGE(http://cdn.sheldoncomics.com/strips/main/150513_1431555719.png)
(Because punning and wordplay are the basis of many dad jokes.)

Curry for five... curry for five...

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Could it also be a naan-starter?

Zudz wrote:

Could it also be a naan-starter?

That's naansense.

(yes, I'm a dad)

IMAGE(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv89puPHmk1r6vurlo1_500.png)

What time does Sean Connery usually visit Wimbledon?

Spoiler:

Tenish

Maq wrote:

IMAGE(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv89puPHmk1r6vurlo1_500.png)

Hey look! It's the Dhokla Knight!

I was chatting with my kids a couple of days ago about seafood; they all said that they were allergic to seafood, and I corrected them to clarify that they were only allergic to shellfish. They asked me, "what kinds of seafood are shellfish?" to which I replied "well, clams are shellfish... as are shrimp, crabs, and lobsters -- basically anything from the sea that has a hard shell. On the other hand, tuna and salmon are generousfish."

merphle wrote:

I was chatting with my kids a couple of days ago about seafood; they all said that they were allergic to seafood, and I corrected them to clarify that they were only allergic to shellfish. They asked me, "what kinds of seafood are shellfish?" to which I replied "well, clams are shellfish... as are shrimp, crabs, and lobsters -- basically anything from the sea that has a hard shell. On the other hand, tuna and salmon are generousfish."

Well played, sir.

Last night my wife said she had an epiphany while I was at work. I asked "was it during breakfast?"

She looked puzzled and asked why that mattered.

I replied "because then you would have had Breakfast Epiphanies."

She laughed for about twenty minutes.

Two goldfish are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Katy wrote:

Two goldfish are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

You almost lost me, but then I gained traction.

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Katy wrote:

Two goldfish are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

You almost lost me, but then I gained traction.

That joke really grinds my gears.

Katy wrote:

Two goldfish are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

This is probably my favourite joke ever.

Two solders are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Glug, glug, glug, glug."

Rallick wrote:
doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Katy wrote:

Two goldfish are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

You almost lost me, but then I gained traction.

That joke really grinds my gears.

Tscott wrote:

Two solders are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Glug, glug, glug, glug."

Truly, it is the dawning of the age of aquariums.

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Tscott wrote:

Two solders are in a tank. The first one looks at the second and says, "Glug, glug, glug, glug."

Truly, it is the dawning of the age of aquariums.

I sea what you did there.

IMAGE(http://5mz5h3oogwf1opte33v3sl1q43.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/Age-of-Aquariums.gif)

I once got some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

Tscott wrote:

I once got some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

Man, that joke was just soul crushing.

doubtingthomas396 wrote:
Tscott wrote:

I once got some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

Man, that joke was just sole crushing.

ftfy
tsk tsk tsk

doubtingthomas396 wrote:

Man, that joke was just soul crushing.

Tscott wrote:

I once got some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

Amazing.

My contribution to the intersection of dad jokes and programmer jokes:

Coworker: I ran out of PTYs on OS X. `[forkpty: Device not configured] [Could not create a new process and open a pseudo-tty.]`
Me: That's just PTY-full.

nice one Cyranix