Happy Hump Day Survey!

Tanglebones wrote:

Also:

My submission is also from a war movie.

I think I'm going with:

My dad claims my uncle flunked out of college because he spent all of his time trying to memorize Quint's Indianapolis speech.

Was going to post the Alec Baldwin Glengarry Glenn Ross monologue, but someone beat me to it.

So instead...

I swear I posted this before.

Another one from The Matrix:

Yeah, my vote goes with the Chaplin one even without the Zimmer music.

MeatMan wrote:

Yeah, hard to beat.

I have to say, The Shawshank Redemption one is also really, really great, one of my favorites. But yeah, Chaplin with Zimmer is pretty epic.

Happy Hump Day, courtesy of Dr. Awkward!

Hollywood is making a film about your life. Which actor or actress is the best choice to portray you and why? Also, who would you hate to see cast?

Oooh, this is easy for me! I would hate to see Anne Hathaway cast because keep saying we look alike, and I really don't think so.

Who would be best, though? That's tougher... Maybe Jennifer Connelly? Because she's such a wonderful actress. I only wish I had her looks. Look at those eyes.

Good evening, viewers. Tonight's guest on GWJers Tonight is the notorious Paleocon, best known for his role in Adventures at the Gas Station and Don't Park in My Space Muthafukka.

GWJers Tonight: Thank you for taking the time to be with us.

Paleocon: Thank you for having me.

GT: Which actor or actress is the best choice to portray you and why?

P: Probably Bruce Willis. He pulls off that "catastrophically bad day as just another day at the office" thing about as well as anyone and better than most. That and he is almost as much of a smartass as I am to bad guys.

GT: Interesting choice. Why not an Asian actor?

P: I am glad you asked GWJer. I see my experience as less "Asian" and more just simply "unfortunate" and think that a more recognizable face would appeal to a wider audience. Plus, if I am getting the residuals, I want the bank out of a Hollywood blockbuster.

GT: Fascinating. Alternately, who would you hate to see cast?

P: I can think of dozens of folks for different reasons of course. Cameron Diaz because she sucks at everything, including life. John Travolta because his face annoys me. But I think I would most hate for the role to go to someone like Ken Jeong who would likely just turn it into an unkind stereotype of Asian Americans.

GT: Can you think of an Asian actor you could see playing it?

P: Not for an American audience, but for folks familiar with Asian cinema, Kang-ho Song has always impressed me by his ability to pull off darkly comedic roles.

GT: Unfortunately, that is all the time we have. Good luck on your new project "Buying a House in Redneckville" and thanks again for joining us.

P: Thank you. I've enjoyed it.

Harrison Ford. Why? He looks nothing like me. (Throw a goatee and glasses on him maybe?) I'd pick him because he is a fantastic actor who could easily pull off my laid back 'looks like I've got it all under control, but deep down I'm a mess' kinda vibe.

Who would I hate? Matthew Perry, because I've been compared to him several times in the past. I like him, I just don't see it. My wife is always told she looks like Julianna Margulies which she also hates.

Happy hump day everbody.

I would love to be portrayed by Jeff Garlin even though he's white, not my weight type, and in every other way does not look like me. He is a very funny guy though and could put off how I would like to be portrayed perfectly. If Jeff Garlin was going to be portray me though his voice should be dubbed over by Jackie Chan or Sam Jackson (or both and have one be the inner monologue) because that would be awesome.

I would not want to be portrayed by Christian Bale because I do not believe that he would get the subtle comedy that is my life.

For me, I'd have to go with John Krasinski. It wouldn't be too far off the mark from his usual roles and just his general personality off the screen is pretty similar to my own.

The person I would absolutely NOT want to see? Tom Cruise. Just because we're both short doesn't mean that he would get the part.

Spoiler:

I just looked up his info on IMDB. He's actually an inch taller than me. DAMN IT!

I'd go with Kyle Maclachlan. Twin Peaks got me at the right time, and anyone who can survive acting in Showgirls without totally making a fool of themselves can probably survive portraying me without completely making a fool of themself.

The actor I wouldn't want to play me is me. It would be a little too spot on type wise, and every good casting director knows that you don't want to bullseye the type - you want some aspect of the person to actually push against what might appear natural for the character. That said, I'd be happy to portray CptDomano if Krasinski turns it down and he doesn't mind going from someone who is currently listed as 576th most famous person on IMDB to someone who hangs around in the 200K-400K range.

He doesn't look a thing like me, but TJ Thyme from Bones definitely can play the mixture of dry sarcasm, empathy and boyish enthusiasm for nerdery that makes up a lot of my public persona.

PaladinTom wrote:

My wife is always told she looks like Julianna Margulies which she also hates.

Yeah, that's a horrible thing to be told. lol

CptDomano wrote:

The person I would absolutely NOT want to see? Tom Cruise. Just because we're both short doesn't mean that he would get the part.

Spoiler:

I just looked up his info on IMDB. He's actually an inch taller than me. DAMN IT!

Short? Is that what's wrong with you? I always wondered ...

Flintheart Glomgold wrote:

I would love to be portrayed by Jeff Garlin even though he's white, not my weight type, and in every other way does not look like me. He is a very funny guy though and could put off how I would like to be portrayed perfectly. If Jeff Garlin was going to be portray me though his voice should be dubbed over by Jackie Chan or Sam Jackson (or both and have one be the inner monologue) because that would be awesome.

I would not want to be portrayed by Christian Bale because I do not believe that he would get the subtle comedy that is my life.

lol

Love it!

I would pick Vincent D'Onofrio. We don't look alike but a lot of his facial expressions are things I do. Plus Full Metal Jacket is one of my fav movies ever.

I'm gonna pick Alyson Hannigan, she pulls off quirky and cute a million times better than I ever will. I think she'd be good at playing a snarky, nerdy programmer who loves Disney and video games.

I would not want to be portrayed by Christopher Walken because he would be an extremely weird choice for playing a snarky, nerdy short female programmer. Actually, never mind, Christopher Walken in a ridiculous wig is totally okay.

Who would I want to portray me on the screen? I think I was asked this question before, I'd say Russell Crowe if we can put him into suspended animation until I'm closer to his age. There's some slight physical resemblance, and I thought he was great in A Beautiful Mind. I'm not trying to compare myself to John Nash, but his portrayal of someone with "different wiring" is what draws me to him.

As for who would I hate? Jim Parsons. No. Just... no. I don't want any whiff of Sheldon Cooper or The Big Bang Theory on me. I can feel bile creeping into my throat, so I won't say any more.

I would want to be portrayed by Matt Smith. He is about my age, and I think his time as the Doctor can inform my quirky, nerdy math-professor persona. Plus, I think he could pull off my accent (sorta Appalachian, with a hint of mid-west American). That, and he has my haircut in this picture.

IMAGE(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/eb/Matt_Smith_Peabody_2013.jpg)

I think I would vomit if Johnny Galecki--or anyone from The Big Bang Theory--played me. I think that show plays to offensive stereotypes about women, nerds, Indians, smart people, and dozens of other groups.

IMAGE(http://www.ssninsider.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/johnny-galecki.jpg)

Alright, after some deliberation I'm definitely slipping some cash to the casting director for Melissa McCarthy (more Mike and Molly/St. Vincent/Gilmore Girls Melissa McCarthy...not so much Bridesmaids/slapstickmovie). She's intelligent, has a good wry sense of humor, blunt delivery, relatively sarcastic, usually exasperated (like me), and can be either tough or sensitive. My body type is a bit smaller, but aside from that she's probably the closest physical resemblance as well.

No? Scarlett Johanssen I guess? Don't try to sexxxify me for Hollywood or pick someone too serious.

HAPPY HUMP DAY!

What is your favorite album cover art?

Do video games soundtracks count? Because I'd have a boatload of those...

Otherwise, the first one that comes to mind is the one for Faunts' FEEL.LOVE.THINKING.OF.:
IMAGE(http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/36321473/Feel+Love+Thinking+of+Faunts+2009.jpg)

Do I really have to pick just one?

Love the cover of Dune's soundtrack, but then again, it's no secret I love all things Dune:
IMAGE(http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0001/669/MI0001669152.jpg)

Also the one for The Fifth Element:
IMAGE(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517u5z4lMjL._SX300_.jpg)

Placebo's Sleeping with Ghosts also stuck with me for years (kinda NSFW, I guess).

As a fan of metal there should be eighty million covers that come to mind, but the only one that really jumps at me is the album art to Stratovarius' Polaris. I would own this album on vinyl for no greater reason than to have a large version of the artwork to look at.

IMAGE(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61oq4yFBk0L.jpg)

IMAGE(http://factmag-images.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Windowlicker.jpeg)

They aren't the most artistic covers I can think of (in fact, they are pretty generic), but the albums themselves are favorites of mine:

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/oai3X7R.png)
IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/BEvKg1p.png)
IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/wpHtw4p.png)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/GRNmKTyl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/yskp05Dl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/b7Dfg5Zl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/akBiTxyl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/VaFdzusl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/HuTdOtPl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/8jooEHjl.jpg)

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/tblRTrZl.jpg)

IMAGE(https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQL9ehhNe1WkLZ_Ey06RRuSurKNnCRuV08Osow3yXDioqIkhH48e1HQng)