Good luck! Please don't hesitate to ask the goodjerbrain if you have any other questions.
QFT!! I also I agree on the assessment on parenting books. there's one thing you'll quickly pick up on, it's that there isn't one way to do it, there are different ways for different situations. It's already pretty much showing up in this thread. Some people swear by changing tables and baby monitors, and I never owned either one. You'll also quickly learn that your baby might like some things that others hate. Parenthood... it's an ever-evolving-always-adapting gig, really.
The book and video The Happiest Baby on the Block is fantastic, especially for the first 3 months (=fourth trimester). My doula called the 6-8 weeks after birth and before the first smile "baby boot camp" because it's hard work that seems harder because the baby can't really communicate much except through crying.
What made WTEWYE even more annoying to me was the cutesy tone that all the judging was expressed in.
I'll have to go find the book name, I've since returned the book. There is an excellent book about how to listen to your child without negating what they're saying (which I sorta paraphrased on the Gender thread).
For now, let me just give a little of the basics from it:
(Situation: Child is Angry)
Normal Parent Reaction (trying to make kid feel better): This thing you're upset about isn't such a big deal. It's not worth being angry about.
What Your Kid Heard: I am not listening. I do not believe you. I do not care about this thing that makes you angry.Listening Reaction that Actually Really Freaking Works: You sound really angry. Do you know why you're so angry? (Followed by listening without "correcting" their reaction).
What Your Kid Heard: I validate and accept your feelings. I am ready to listen. We can get through this together.
------------------------------
Alright, now I gotta go find the name of the book. It's got great examples and exercises at the end of each chapter.At my children's school they're turned it into a whole program (that's really effective as well at stopping bullying).
It's How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk. Great book!
Cloth diapers aren't as bad as you think. We used Chinese prefolds for both of our kids (until the second developed a wicked diaper rash), and it basically amounted to an extra load of laundry every day or two - and a bunch of saved money.
For reference, we used something like
As an added plus, they are now our go-to spill cleaner-upper; they are super absorbent.
We're part-time cloth diaperers; we use disposables for bedtime and traveling. I like TotsBots because they're all-in-ones with an extra tongue that folds in for extra bulk. The main drawback is that not many places sell them because they're a UK company.
If I had to recommend one baby product, it would be the BumGenius diaper sprayer. Its stated purpose is to spray the crap off of cloth diapers before you put them in the wash, but it also doubles as a bidet (to spray the crap off of your butt).
Cloth diapering itself can be its own thread, nay, its own site (and is).
But really? Most baby products are negotiable.
Congrats,Katerin and DS! Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games*!
*DS gaming will pretty much be the only gaming you can squeeze in, since you'll have to close your game down to deal with baby without a moment's notice.
My kids are why I got a 3DS
My 2 cents on the helpful baby items (mostly seconding others):
- Boppy pillow, especially if you are nursing but handy even if you aren't
- For burp rags, like has been mentioned before, get the prefold cloth diapers. We got a few packs of the Gerber ones from Target
- The only two parenting books that we found helpful: The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Wonder Weeks. The Wonder Weeks was fantastic, especially when the baby all of a sudden changes sleeping/crying/feeding behaviors and you are freaking out...only to find out that they are hitting a milestone of learning object permanance or something like that so their brains are on overdrive and patterns change
- Not exactly a baby item but if you are concerned about not washing your kid's clothes in chemically things, Charlie's Soap is great. It worked really well with the cloth diapers.
I'll second the comments above on cloth diapering. We are full time cloth diapering folks (after they get to be about 6 weeks old--before that never really worked for us) I was not initially a fan but my wife insisted on trying it out. Other than an extra load of laundry, it isn't a big deal. Unlike Dee's suggestion of the diaper sprayer to spray the crap off, we take the extra step of taking the diaper into the bathroom and use a plastic putty knife. Not elegant but effective. Our cloth diaper of choice is the bumGenius.
Bumgenius rocks, we used em for both our boys.
Here's a question from someone staring down the barrel of impending parenthood: What was the one baby item you either bought or received as a gift ahead of time that you found most useful once baby arrived?
Sorry if it was already mentioned, but while this isn't really "one" thing, I would recommend purchasing two or even three of the same things depending on if you are in a multi-level home. You may not really notice it now but you will if you have to haul the baby up and down the stairs for changing, feedings, or whatever. This is especially at first if mom is in pain for any extended period of time after childbirth.
We had a bassinet (then later a crib) upstairs and a pack and play on the main floor for sleeping. Boppy pillows on both floors. Changing table in the nursery and a changing pad in both our bedroom and the main floor (with diaper and wipes in each location). One thing that we should have done (and may do if we get baby #2) is buy a mini-fridge for upstairs so if we are using formula we don't have to go downstairs in the middle of the night to get a bottle. It seemed like a waste of money for us at first but we were tired and exhausted and nervous to keep going up and downstairs with our little guy. We don't really use our basement yet - but if we did I would have bought a 3rd set of our frequently used items so we are always covered.
In a similar vein we were always washing bottles because we were supplementing feeding with formula. I thought 6 bottles was ridiculous at first, but when he's eating every 4 hours they get dirty fast. We eventually settled on 12 bottles. Yes the sink would fill up fast, but we needed anything to make our lives easier.
Here are two websites I relied on quite a lot: askmoxie.org and kellymom.com. askmoxie is great for everything, esp. dealing with how you are emotionally, when the baby is growing and getting through tough stages. kellymom focuses on breastfeeding. askmoxie has a lot of useful advice for breastfeeding as well.
KaterinLHC wrote:Here's a question from someone staring down the barrel of impending parenthood: What was the one baby item you either bought or received as a gift ahead of time that you found most useful once baby arrived?
Tying in to my previous post: A cosleeper bassinet that can be at the same level as the bed. You can reach over at night, feed, then put them back. There's usually a partition between the bassinet and the bed, so baby can't scoot out of it. Ours strapped tightly to the bed, too. The bassinet wouldn't budge.
A plush bear that made womb sounds (like a heartbeat) also had a calming effect that we found amazing. Ours had an auto-off timer.
Anything that helps you get more sleep/rest in that first six months? GOLD.
EDIT: Oh... and really do your research on baby monitors. There's some crap out there, and 2.4/5GHz aren't so hot in houses full of wifi signals.
Co-sleepers are great and you can travel with them which will make visiting family much easier on the little one.
One item I don't think I have seen anyone mention would be a good quality infant car seat, preferably one that detaches for trips to the grocery or eating out. Believe it or not, once you learn your babies napping patterns, you can actually get in a few meals out while the little one is sleeping in his or her detached car seat next to you.
Here's a question from someone staring down the barrel of impending parenthood: What was the one baby item you either bought or received as a gift ahead of time that you found most useful once baby arrived?
A couple of things that were helpful baby items for us (although they're more strategies than things):
- If you're going to get a little stuffed toy for them as their "main" one that they get attached to, buy two. If it gets lost, or if it gets damaged, you have a backup. You'd be surprised how difficult it can be to get the same little doll two or three years later.
- We got a soothing music CD to use at bedtime, and we incorporated that into our eventual bedtime routine (Story reading, lullaby, etc). We would play it in their room on repeat, all night. Even to this day (they are 9 and 11), we've continued to use it, and it helps them get to sleep when we're travelling, sleeping in hotels or whatever. I can play it off my phone or laptop, and they sleep. A little bit of home you can bring with you.
Hope that helps.
Here's a question from someone staring down the barrel of impending parenthood: What was the one baby item you either bought or received as a gift ahead of time that you found most useful once baby arrived?
So much good advice already—I'll add one thing:
Freezable dinners.
Casseroles, pasta sauce, soup, chilli, whatever. This will be one of the most important things you can have. For the first few weeks you and your partner are going to be zombies taking care of this infant every second of the day, and yet somehow you still have to take care of yourselves.
When you get into nesting mode: start cooking freezable dinners.
If anyone asks what they can get the baby: freezable dinners (for you).
If anyone—anyone—wants to see the newborn, the price of admission is: a freezable dinner.
If I had to recommend one baby product, it would be the BumGenius diaper sprayer. Its stated purpose is to spray the crap off of cloth diapers before you put them in the wash, but it also doubles as a bidet (to spray the crap off of your butt).
Alternatively, we use biodegradable liners on top of the diaper: it catches the poo, so we can just pick it all up and chuck it in the toilet, while the diaper and insert go relatively stain-free.
Any fellow moms out there have any bright ideas on how to deal with a forceful letdown?
Seriously at my wits' end here, it was never this bad with my first.
Edit: It might be just general evening fussiness judging from kellymom.com. Still no less fun, especially when I need to juggle both until hubby comes home later.
I'll be keeping an eye on this thread too, as my wife's due incredibly soon.
Holy cow, all this advice is crazy useful. Thank you so much, everyone. Days like these I wish I could hug an internet thread.
We got a soothing music CD to use at bedtime, and we incorporated that into our eventual bedtime routine (Story reading, lullaby, etc). We would play it in their room on repeat, all night. Even to this day (they are 9 and 11), we've continued to use it, and it helps them get to sleep when we're travelling, sleeping in hotels or whatever.
So for soothing, would you recommend we go for Motörhead or Maiden?
We found lullabies didn't work on our little one. White noise was the key. We loop this throughout the night. http://www.amazon.com/Help-Your-Sleep-Through-Night/dp/B001HVEETE/ref=sr_1_4?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&qid=1401476114&sr=1-4&keywords=baby+white+noise
Any song can be a lullaby if you sing it at the right tempo.
There are a lot of really DIRE "kids CDs" out there, so find something you'll actually like playing.
Holy cow, all this advice is crazy useful. Thank you so much, everyone. Days like these I wish I could hug an internet thread.
gamerparent wrote:We got a soothing music CD to use at bedtime, and we incorporated that into our eventual bedtime routine (Story reading, lullaby, etc). We would play it in their room on repeat, all night. Even to this day (they are 9 and 11), we've continued to use it, and it helps them get to sleep when we're travelling, sleeping in hotels or whatever.
So for soothing, would you recommend we go for Motörhead or Maiden?
Rockabye Baby has a decent selection, though no Motorhead or Maiden yet.
One piece of advice, don't insist in complete and utter silence when you are trying to put the baby to sleep. Otherwise, when they get older, they might insist on it. My daughters can go to sleep while a game of CAH is going on in the next room.
One piece of advice, don't insist in complete and utter silence when you are trying to put the baby to sleep. Otherwise, when they get older, they might insist on it. My daughters can go to sleep while a game of CAH is going on in the next room.
+1
Any song can be a lullaby if you sing it at the right tempo.
...cool video....
There are a lot of really DIRE "kids CDs" out there, so find something you'll actually like playing.
THIS. But I was the one doing the singing back in the Stone Age, so I made some different choices.
I did a lot of 70's singers like James Taylor and Jim Croce because those are easy to sing, and rise and fall so they work well. Old Kenny Loggins (or his lullaby CD is pretty good for traditional stuff that won't horrify your monster-in-law). Old hymns can work.
Each kid seemed to like a different song. My gray-hair-generator's favorite was Amazing Grace. My eldest liked Sweet Painted Lady from Elton John.
And you don't have to stick with one forever. When it came out when they were like 6, the movie "Anastasia" had this song, and that became the girls' favorite. We still sometimes sing it together, even though they're old enough to do harmony.
If I'm dealing with modern music, I don't know who I'd choose these days. Anyone else got some good choices?
KaterinLHC wrote:Holy cow, all this advice is crazy useful. Thank you so much, everyone. Days like these I wish I could hug an internet thread.
gamerparent wrote:We got a soothing music CD to use at bedtime, and we incorporated that into our eventual bedtime routine (Story reading, lullaby, etc). We would play it in their room on repeat, all night. Even to this day (they are 9 and 11), we've continued to use it, and it helps them get to sleep when we're travelling, sleeping in hotels or whatever.
So for soothing, would you recommend we go for Motörhead or Maiden?
Rockabye Baby has a decent selection, though no Motorhead or Maiden yet.
OH MY GOD
I love that song "Return to Pooh Corner." What do you know, there's so much to be done...
Probably the single best thing we bought is one of those jogging strollers - a single-seater with inflatable tires.
Hell no I never jogged behind that thing. But I pushed it through the neighborhood, down to the corner store, to festivals, etc. It survived two kids worth of hard use. It was worth every damned penny.
Also, this:
We called it the bouncy seat because you put a kid in there and he (or she) can bounce up and down. The chair has a hook at the top that clamps (more or less) atop a door frame.
Child No. 2 loved to bounce in that thing. Once Child No. 3 took ownership, No. 2 would swing No. 3 by pulling the bungee as far as she could stretch it and letting go. No. 3 *loved* the bouncey seat. Those were screams of pleasure, not terror.
Some things we swear by:
Boudreaux's Butt Paste (rashes begone)
Summer Infant Video Monitors (luxury, but couldn't live without it now)
Mylicon drops (for teh gas bubbles)
Pampers Swaddlers diapers (fit perfect, hardly ever leak)
Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Cradle Swing (mesmerized and comforted all 4 of our kids)
Holy cow, all this advice is crazy useful. Thank you so much, everyone. Days like these I wish I could hug an internet thread.
gamerparent wrote:We got a soothing music CD to use at bedtime, and we incorporated that into our eventual bedtime routine (Story reading, lullaby, etc). We would play it in their room on repeat, all night. Even to this day (they are 9 and 11), we've continued to use it, and it helps them get to sleep when we're travelling, sleeping in hotels or whatever.
So for soothing, would you recommend we go for Motörhead or Maiden?
In all seriousness, the kid is likely to be soothed by whatever he/she is accustomed to. Our (very) little girl will fall asleep to jazz just as easily as Radiohead or colon-quaking dubstep. It's what she heard in the womb, and it's what she continues to hear on a daily basis.
That said, when it comes to bedtime, we have a heartbeat noise-box so that there's a noise that means "time to sleep"
BTW - music advice above also applies to stories. Kids' books can drive you straight up the wall. There's only so many times you can go through the Hungry Caterpillar before you want to feed him to a passing crow.
Read for yourself the book the movie "The Princess Bride" came from, and you've got a perfect primer for how to turn anything into a bedtime story (and when they were older we livened a 5 day blackout with me reading it aloud to them and they loved to hear the "grown up" parts).
I used to read old pulp novels to the kids. The books to the Wizard of Oz, the real Peter Pan books, John Carter, all of Jules Verne, E.E. "Doc" Smith, some of the kiddier Heinlein novels, whatever you like. Just edit for your audience. For example, Dejah Thoris wore dresses made of jewels, rather than only jewelry. Read carefully, Hans Christian Anderson's versions of the usual fairy tales are not nearly as trite as the current versions. The old classics are great for this because a lot of the more complicated relationship stuff and whatnot is already pulled out for you.
And you might surprise yourself with how creative you can be at 3am with no sleep. I used to tell the gang stories about Twinkle, the fairy who loved books more than flowers, and her best friend Tim, the Ogre King's disappointing 40th son who like to build and fix things more than he liked to break them. Now that I think about it, I wonder if I can remember enough to write them down for my grandson?
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