Self indulgent parent thread

We started potty training our son a few months ago shortly after he turned one. I know this is early but my wife was reading a few books and wanted to start early and give it a try. We have been using our bathroom that is off of our bed room and the bed is only a few feet from the bathroom door. He has been doing really good about sitting on the potty and peeing when we put him down to go. Last week I apparently got too comfortable with him being good on the potty. While I turned around to talk with my wife the little bugger quietly got off the potty, walked into our bedroom, climbed up on our bed, and promptly peed all over it. I noticed just as he was finishing up, the little hoser.

The poop issue never seems to go away. My kids' potty-training days are long behind me, but my son (he's 9) won't poop for days. When he does, he sh*ts an arm. No kidding: This turd is the size of his forearm. (It's technically the size of his colon.)

Needless to say, I keep the plunger close by.

Teachin' the little man how to throw some dice.
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Fresh blueberries. It looks like they are dropping smurfs in there!

The results of several days of shopping and a few tears.

Needs some serious fittings but that's what seamstresses are for. She has lost a lot of weight so when she said the size she seriously over-estimated but it was too lovely not to choose. The smile sold me.

momgamer wrote:

The results of several days of shopping and a few tears.

Needs some serious fittings but that's what seamstresses are for. She has lost a lot of weight so when she said the size she seriously over-estimated but it was too lovely not to choose. The smile sold me.

Beautiful!! It was a somber yet joyful day when I gave my daughter away in marriage. Best part is her new husband is a gamer and we play BF3 together.

KEA_Lightning wrote:
momgamer wrote:

The results of several days of shopping and a few tears.

Needs some serious fittings but that's what seamstresses are for. She has lost a lot of weight so when she said the size she seriously over-estimated but it was too lovely not to choose. The smile sold me.

Beautiful!! It was a somber yet joyful day when I gave my daughter away in marriage. Best part is her new husband is a gamer and we play BF3 together. :-)

I day I look forward to, and dread, all at once. Congrats to all.

m0nk3yboy wrote:
KEA_Lightning wrote:
momgamer wrote:

The results of several days of shopping and a few tears.

Needs some serious fittings but that's what seamstresses are for. She has lost a lot of weight so when she said the size she seriously over-estimated but it was too lovely not to choose. The smile sold me.

Beautiful!! It was a somber yet joyful day when I gave my daughter away in marriage. Best part is her new husband is a gamer and we play BF3 together. :-)

I day I look forward to, and dread, all at once. Congrats to all.

Me too... make them stop growing up!

OK, my recent proud dad moment: My oldest daughter, having set her heart on getting an iPad Mini, decided to change her mind and work towards getting a 3DS XL instead.

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I never really know what to say about him, he's just a constant source of pure joy.

I know how you feel, venerable chairman. My daughter has the same effect on me, even if she's not as well read as your little fella seems to be!

So today there was a bit of drama. While I was down in the castle saying goodbye to guests etc. my wife decided that it would be a good time to dye Easter eggs with my son for the first time.

I am sure no one can see where this is going.

She mixed the dyes (vinegar, water and a dye tab) in the kitchen figuring she would then move them in to the bathroom where she wouldn't have to worry about making a mess. After moving the first couple she heard a scream from the bathroom. Carrying two more cups of dye in to the bathroom Leland is walking towards the door his entire head covered in red liquid and holding a mostly empty cup of red dye. She then quickly got him in to the tub and rinsed him off and flushed out his eyes. After establishing that he was ok she decided that eggs would be dyed in the tub for safety.

MonoCheli wrote:

While I was down in the castle...

I always smile to myself and think how awesome that is, and how cool it will be for MiniCheli when he recounts tales from his childhood.

Maya and me
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A few weekends ago I setup a little Viewsonic minipc for my 3-year old son Émile. Put on some children's educational suite and let him start exploring. He was having trouble understanding the relationship of the mouse to the screen no matter how I tried to explain it. He kept trying to touch the screen as if it were an iPad. Then my wife comes downstairs, spends a minute with him and it's as if he had been using a mouse for years.

m0nk3yboy wrote:
MonoCheli wrote:

While I was down in the castle...

I always smile to myself and think how awesome that is, and how cool it will be for MiniCheli when he recounts tales from his childhood. ;)

I do enjoy it. He likes to run around the great hall and the grounds. The other thing is many of his photos have really nice backdrops like the castle or the great hall, etc. It is a really neat place to live.

I just got back from Hawaii. My soon to be 12 month daughter had a blast.

IMAGE(http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Bonnonon/Aloha_zps15fd0efa.jpg)

All these wonderfully cute and nice threads just made me feel really bad.

I must be the worst god parent ever.

Pulled this trick on my sleeping niece in the passenger seat today. Obviously not me/her, just the same trick shown in video.

Is it wrong that I'm still laughing about it?

/evilly yours
ESA

Why haven't I seen this posted here yet?

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/dust stirring

mrtomaytohead wrote:

Why haven't I seen this posted here yet?

Ehh, cos it's a little hypocritical when put in the mouth of Mike Krahulik.

I thought much of parenting involved being a hypocrite. I thought the whole point of me screwing up my life for the last 40 years was so I knew what to keep them away from.

Okay, I'm pretty sure I've got the doting godparent down pat now.

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Dovahkiin!

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We got some TF2 in the other evening.

Cross posted from the PAX East 2013 thread:

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/XGvQhVg.jpg)

My three-year-old son looked gravely at my wife the other day and solemnly intoned, "I'm-a go get my knight costume and my knight sword and I'm-a go into your closet and I'm-a steal all your monies." He then about-faced and marched off.

(Luckily for our savings, he got distracted by something shiny while fetching his heist supplies.)

My 3.5 year old daughter gave me a compliment of the highest order today, while eating a cheese and bacon bread roll.

"Daddy, you are as good as bacon"

*swoon*

Blake, barely two now, comes into the bedroom yesterday to wake me up. "Hi dad" he said with perfect inflection and pronunciation. Not ha dadda or hai daddeee. Just hi dad like he was fifteen years old or something.

Dr_Awkward wrote:

Blake, barely two now, comes into the bedroom yesterday to wake me up. "Hi dad" he said with perfect inflection and pronunciation. Not ha dadda or hai daddeee. Just hi dad like he was fifteen years old or something.

My almost-two year old son, Aaron, did something similar to me the other day. I was doing the dishes while he and my daughter were playing in the other room. He comes sauntering in and says "Hi Daddy. What're you doing?" all grown-up like. It made me crack up. So now he asks me all the time with a mischievous smile because he figures it's some kind of joke, I guess.

Well Stellan, 17 months old this morning, has just broken his Dad's nose with a well aimed Glaswegian kiss.

Okay so in preparation for our son to arrive sometime this month, my wife and I decided to start figuring out some of the contraptions we've received from the baby shower--namely the stroller and car seat. The stroller wasn't hard to figure out, it was simply squeezing a button and the stroller folds up. The car seat though was another animal all together.

First we took like 15 minutes just to figure out how to get the damn carrier off the base (protip: there's a giant freaking button on the back of the carrier that we didn't see). Then once we got that off, we read the manual on how to actually set up the base in the car. Apparently there are like 25 bazillion different ways of attaching this thing to your car. However, still not all that hard once we went out to the car and realized we have the little LATCH bars in the backseat. "This is easy," we thought. "We are totally going be awesome parents."

Then came figuring out how to actually strap a kid into this thing. We bought a baby doll early on in order to try to teach our dog not to eat a baby, so I grabbed this doll and attempted to strap it in. I couldn't figure out exactly how to loosen up the straps in order to fit the doll in there. After some time, found a little latch inside a tiny hole that loosened that up. Cool, now to fit the baby in.

..Still doesn't fit. Huh. Oh, this little plastic thing comes apart--awesome. Okay, time to put the doll in. Now it's all strapped in, but the straps are super loose. The directions say to pull on the strap and everything will tighten. Great--so I start pulling on the thing, only it's not moving. At this point I really start tugging on this strap, but it's still loose as hell. My wife and I can't figure out what the hell is wrong.

Then we see it.

The plastic thing that connects the two straps, it slides down because it's supposed to go over the chest of the baby. Unfortunately it's directly under the chin of the doll. So there's this silence as both my wife and I notice this, then my wife just quietly says the following.

"So, while you're tugging on that strap, it was tightening that plastic piece into the neck of that doll, huh?"

Uncomfortable silence. "...yeah, probably."

Then we both start hysterically laughing. "Well, I guess it's a good thing we tested on the doll first!"

...I'll be surprised if this kid makes it home from the hospital. We'll probably forget it there or something.

CptDomano wrote:

We bought a baby doll early on in order to try to teach our dog not to eat a baby

Good idea to get the dog used to the baby. After our daughter was born I brought home a hat that she wore for a while so our dog could get used to the smell. It is amazing though that she's met tons of dogs now and not one has been disrespectful, maybe we just had good luck.