Random non sequitur posts catch-all thread

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Timing. That's what comedy is all about.

I received a remote controlled helicopter for my Valentines Day present. I can't stop menacing the cats with it!

Canada, crushing dreams one student class at a time!

On Friday, both Grade 8 classes were shepherded into a room, shown a video of their Disney dream vacation and given a PowerPoint presentation showing a palm tree-lined resort.
Travel brochures and hotel information were passed around. The flights are super cheap, a teacher said after one student expressed concern over cost.
The kids, ecstatic by now in anticipation, were urged by the teachers to yell out where they were going: "We're going to Disney!" That's when they were told to look at the last slide, which announced their 2013 field trip wasn't to a fabulous Florida funland, but to a Windsor bowling alley.
SixteenBlue wrote:
Gravey wrote:

With lawnmower gone, will there be hope for gorilla?

:)

/hug

I had a pretty spectacular almost-fall on the way to work today. As I approached an intersection, I stepped on a patch of muddy grass and my right foot slipped forward on the mud and I started to fall backwards. I shifted my weight forward to prevent the fall, but this caused me to step off the curb, which unbalanced me in the opposite direction. I ended up staggering into the street and lurching around in a circle while flailing my arms wildly trying to maintain my balance. I was also holding an umbrella, so I was swinging that around with one hand. Naturally, two cars arrived at the intersection just in time to witness my bizarre umbrella dance.

muttonchop wrote:

I had a pretty spectacular almost-fall on the way to work today. As I approached an intersection, I stepped on a patch of muddy grass and my right foot slipped forward on the mud and I started to fall backwards. I shifted my weight forward to prevent the fall, but this caused me to step off the curb, which unbalanced me in the opposite direction. I ended up staggering into the street and lurching around in a circle while flailing my arms wildly trying to maintain my balance. I was also holding an umbrella, so I was swinging that around with one hand. Naturally, two cars arrived at the intersection just in time to witness my bizarre umbrella dance.

Cut to: everyone at the intersection doing the Muttonchop Umbrella Shake.

Man, if muttonchop was Russian we'd have two Youtube clips of it already.

Bird poop on the new car. WTF.

So I take a drink of my glass of water, forgetting it WAS water, and think "geez, this is awfully watery... oh..." /facepalm

dhelor wrote:

So I take a drink of my glass of water, forgetting it WAS water, and think "geez, this is awfully watery... oh..." /facepalm

And I now have a new signature.

I am to please. That's why I sit down to pee. Nobody's pleased with my aim in that particular area.

For some reason I got the idea today to replay through the Mass Effect trilogy. Someone tell me not to.

NSMike wrote:

For some reason I got the idea today to replay through the Mass Effect trilogy. Someone tell me not to.

Do it. Do it today. Otherwise you're missing out on some great gaming. You should definitely replay the Mass Effect trilogy.

I've played ME1 like, 3 times... ME2 only once, and ME3 only once. Ugh... I kinda want to buy all the DLC and plow through the games with it all fully integrated just to get the full experience, but I don't know. That's a lot of time.

Puce Moose wrote:

I received a remote controlled helicopter for my Valentines Day present. I can't stop menacing the cats with it!

Why have I never though of this! Now I have to resist the temptation to look for cat/helicopter fights on YouTube and lose what's left of my day.

NSMike wrote:

I've played ME1 like, 3 times... ME2 only once, and ME3 only once. Ugh... I kinda want to buy all the DLC and plow through the games with it all fully integrated just to get the full experience, but I don't know. That's a lot of time.

Do it.

oilypenguin wrote:
NSMike wrote:

I've played ME1 like, 3 times... ME2 only once, and ME3 only once. Ugh... I kinda want to buy all the DLC and plow through the games with it all fully integrated just to get the full experience, but I don't know. That's a lot of time.

Do it.

Go away, you.

You can play it in 1-hour chunks, like a TV series. Or per mission - one mission per day and that's it. Move on to your next activity. It'll be fun.

TLDR: Do it.

ME3 sucks. EA is evil. Plus, Bioshock Infinite.

Don't do it!

First night back to work after my 2-week paternity leave. Man, I do not want to be here right now.

NSMike wrote:

For some reason I got the idea today to replay through the Mass Effect trilogy. Someone tell me not to.

Don't do it! It's re-hashed fantasy barely disguised in hackneyed sci-fi cliches, whose only purpose is letting Western guys play a dating sim while they still maintain that dating sims are for lonely Japanese perverts.

Gravey wrote:
NSMike wrote:

For some reason I got the idea today to replay through the Mass Effect trilogy. Someone tell me not to.

Don't do it! It's re-hashed fantasy barely disguised in hackneyed sci-fi cliches, whose only purpose is letting Western guys play a dating sim while they still maintain that dating sims are for lonely Japanese perverts.

Silence, peasant!

Gravey wrote:
NSMike wrote:

For some reason I got the idea today to replay through the Mass Effect trilogy. Someone tell me not to.

Don't do it! It's re-hashed fantasy barely disguised in hackneyed sci-fi cliches, whose only purpose is letting Western guys play a dating sim while they still maintain that dating sims are for lonely Japanese perverts.

So when does Fisherman's Wife 3: The Citadel come out?

Aaand now my mind just tried to imagine Fisherman's Wife with a Reaper. Thanks, Bonus. It was a bizarre mental experience.

Wait, wait... Okay now with a Hanar. Whew. That's normal. Ish. Somewhere.

Nicholaas wrote:

First night back to work after my 2-week paternity leave. Man, I do not want to be here right now.

I only had three days. My employer isn't large enough to fall under FMLA and Michigan doesn't have anything. f**kers.

Today I was on the freeway behind a car with the license plate: GNSTGRL

I'm sure it was ment to be read as Gangster Girl, but I couldn't help but hope it was for Gunstar Girl. Game or spaceship, doesn't matter to me.

Let's say you had one wish. And it couldn't be anything significant. No world peace, million dollars, true love, etc. It had to be trivial.

I'd wish that every time I said the word 'inception' a sourceless BWAAAAAM sound effect played.

Miashara wrote:

Let's say you had one wish. And it couldn't be anything significant. No world peace, million dollars, true love, etc. It had to be trivial.

I'd wish that every time I said the word 'inception' a sourceless BWAAAAAM sound effect played.

Whenever someone I work with sends me an email going "when are you free?", they'd get a shock because my calendar is publicly visible to them.